AEMILIA

Good sir, think your power may command my du ty, but not my affection. You know sir, the inconvenience still happens to these forced matches, they never come to good, and if you compel me to Like of him, you must expect the same issue, you shall never make me any other president. I shall never love him. O me, what shall I do? would my life were a sacrifice. Prithee what good? Thy mirth comes importunely on my grief. I perceive it well enough Crochet. I think the fool will be tedious. Truly I have no skill to make any conjecture by the outward appearance, but by the Title page of your face, I should judge you to be somewhat ancient. Oh 'tis worm eaten, time has cankered it, beside there be so many dashes, my understanding will not serve me to read it, and a woman has no use of her Clergy. How long is it since the copy has been all ter'd? Sweet Lady, what a petulant word is there, for a man of your beard? a Boy of fifteen would not have spoke it without blushing, and ther's a smile able to turn my stomach. I wonder you will make your self so ridiculous. Now you are alone, I'll tell you what I think of you, you are and old doting fool, one that twenty years since, has drunk the Lethe of humanity, and forgotten of what sex thou Wertenberg, worn out of all remembrance of thy self, thou hast a body, that a fever cannot heat, nor poy son work upon, a face more rugged then winter, thy beard is moss, and thy skin so hard, that the perpetual dropping of thy nose cannot soften it. And yet you would be in love forsooth, whom Cum bid with all his strength is not able to pierce, you have not one poor open to let in and Arrow, more needs have a cordial to comfort you. If you had any. Yes and if I marry you, I'll use you accordingly, I'll have no mercy on thy age, I tell you before hand, that when it happens, it may not seem strange to you. Do but hear what I say to you, and it shall fallen out, no Prognostication Like it. When I am your wife, if you are so hardy to ven ter on me, your whole study shall be to please me, and yet I will not grace it with acceptance; I will live as your Em press, lie a bed, and command you, and your servants, and you shall not dare to anger me. No if you do, I will fill the house with noise, and deaf thee with clamours. He will not be put off, I must terrify him farther: and for your estate, you shall not meddle with it, I'll take up your rends for you, and dispose of them, as I think fit; only I'll allow you to carry some farthings in your pouch to give to Beggars. For the rest, I'll spend it upon my self in bravery: there shall not be a new fashion, but I'll have it. I'll look of ter nothing else; your house shall be a Mars for all trades. I'll keep twenty continually at work for me; as Tailors, Perfu mers, Painters, Apothecaries, Coach-makers, Sempsters, and Tire-women. Beside Embroiderers, and Pensions for in telligencers. Beside, I will have acquaintance with all the La die in Court, and entertain them with banquets, yet for all that I will make my complaint of you to them, traduce your infirmities, and they shall conspire against you, and pity me. Then you shall kiss me very seldom, and when I vouchsafe you the favour: and you shall do it not as a hus band, but as a father, not a smack of lasciviousness. I will lie with you the first year once a month, as a Parson uses to instruct his Cure, and yet not be questioned for neglect, or non residence: marry the next year, if you live so long, once a quarter shall suffice you. These are the least of your evils. I will have one to cuckold you, and you shall take it for a courtesy, and use him the kindlier for it. Master Careless promised to be here instantly. I'll tell him what a fine youth he has to his Uncle. Save you Master Careless. Whence come you, from Apollo? I thought I had been worthy salutation. Where I love, I will not stand upon conditions. Do you want money? I have not ready coin; but there's a jewel Will fetch you twenty pound. I give it freely. Why do you ask? Because they say that stone Has secret virtue in it to recover, A man that's intoxicated, and I do find That I am not so drunk, as I was. If he could get it. I made such sport with him, and terrified him, how I would use him if I were his wife, That he is frighted hence. COme sister, though our liberty be straightened, Our mind stands free, without compulsion, There's none can make a rape upon our will. Well if they understood a women truly, They would not seek to curb so, whose nature Rejoices Like a torrent, to make way Spite of impediments. Now if their wisdom Should let us alone, we might perhaps our selves Find out the inconvenience, and prevent it, Which they Like a false perspective would seek, To multiply upon us. I would not have you leave him, Nor yet turn desperate. Now would I rather Get him by some devise, I love a witty And and ingenuous trick above my life: And should take more delight to overreach them, Then to enjoy my purpose. Come fear it not. You see what a man they would put upon me, Might be my father. He has less vigour in him, Then any Catamite. There's not reserved So much as one masculine grain in him. A fellow that's as bald, as a Lookinglasse, And whose diseases are beyond Arithmetic: Not a joint of him free, a gouty numbness Has seized his feet and fingers, and there's all The stiffness he has left: and were I married I must spend all my life in rubbing of him With hight Woollen clothes, and applying Plasters, And Cataplasmes, and trenchers to his belly; Must undergo the person of a Chirurgeon, Not of a wife: and yet I am not terrified: It moves me not, I make a jest of it; Because I mean to abuse them all, and choose Where I Like best. Like me; thou hast not studied thy self so well: Nor hast that season of thy mother in thee. Observe her fashions, take example by them: Although her husband be penurious, Hard as the mettle, that he dotes upon. Yet she can make him mallemable, and work him, And turn, and hammer him, and wiredraw him, And rule him with as much correction, As one would wish to govern. For my partly; When I have stretched my brains, made all the shifts, The wit of woman can be pregnant of. And showed my love by such experience, As shall outstrip belief, all for his sake That shall enjoy me, which is Master Careless. And when he has me, if he shall presume, On former passages of my affection, To oversway me in the least desire, To contradict, and tempt my patience, I'll shake off all obedience, and forget it. I'll slight him, yet prevail. You are a fool, And every one that will can make you so: When was your sweet heart Master Spruse here with you? Take heed, What ere he speaks, it tends but to corrupt you, I'de join commerce of language with a Sphinx, Ere I'de deign to answer him. Master Careless Told me his humours, seems he boasted of it, He gave his character, the most perfidious, And love abusing creature in the world; That all his vows were treacherous: his smiles, His words, and actions, Like small Rivulets, Through twenty turnings of lose passion, At last would run to the dead sea of sin. Be wise, and constant, and then govern fate: And in the interim, how ere matters fallen, We I find a trick wench, how to cheat them all. Hold thy own there wench, and I warrant thee. Sir, he that is accustomed to deceive. Gains this reward by it when he speaks truth, Not to be credited. No indeed sir. Do you think sir, if I intended any such thing, I would have forewarned you? The old Gentleman did but dream so. Alas good Gentleman, I told him how other woe men used their husbands, but I would conform my self to obedience. Pray let me speak one word with him in private. 'Tis not a thing Sir, of that deer expense: Though you were pleased to tax me for that crime It's only this, time was, I could not love you; Though reason since, has rectified my judgement, And cleared my eyes, that I can see my good. Then I confess I made a solemn oath, None should enjoy my love; but he that durst Attempt to steal me; this is not intended, For any peril to you, but for safeguard Of my first vow, which I must needs perform. Now if you please to come at a set hour, None but your self, and fetch me, I will yield To go with you, whither you shall command. Oh my distracted thoughts, and the rash counsel Of lone and hatred, when they are opposed By avarice of parents, that confine Their children's fancies to there sordid mind. Were the bright sun their of spring, they would join him, Unto the earth, if gold might be engendered. We in our selves have no partly, if debarred The election of our love, and our condition Is worse then beasts, whose will acknowledgeth No check in that; the Turtle takes her mate Without compulsion, and in Summer's prime, Each bird will choose out her own Valentine. A fire, it's a foolish one, that leads you without the precinct of your gravity, I strange, a man of your judgement should talk so preposterously. Oh Master Careless here has been your Uncle A wooing to me. No Mistress of yours Sir, yet if you ask nothing but what I please to answer, you may.