RISIO

You mean a fool sir. Then I apply it fit: the one she takes of her father, the other of her mother, now you may be sure she is your own. There is very good workmanship in it, but the matter is but base, if the stuff had be as good as the mould, your daughter had be as wise as she is beautiful I, & so cunningly, that she took it not from ̄ you. A good evidence to prove the fee-simple of your daughters folly. It came by nature, and if none can take it a way, it is perpetual. Well, what follows? Why with a pair of compasses, and bring them both into the circle, He warrant the'il match themselves. Oh then, so it be a match you care not. A very good nature. Well, if by flat wit I bring this to pass, whats my rewerd? I'll ask no more than by my wit I can get in the bargain. If I come not about you never trust me, I'll seek out Dromio, the counseller of my conceit. O that it were my chance Obuiam dare Dro mio, to stumble upon Dromio, on whom I do no thing but dream. He to cousin, & I to conjure, would make such alterations, that our Master's should serve themselves, the idiots their children serve us, and we to wake our wits between them all. My master old Stellio hath a fool to his daughter. I must convey a controct. Between her and Memphios son, with out speaking one to another. Dost thou mock me Dromio? Not I for all this is true. Then are we both driven to our wits ends, for if either of them had been wise, we might have tempered, if no marriage, yet a close marriage. Dromio look here, now is my hand on my halfpenny. Be not angry Halfpenny, for fellowship we will be all fools, and for gain all knaves. But why dost thou laugh? Whats the matter? Thou art a fool, that cannot be. Prithee how? Go to. Nay the bodkin is here already, you must be the knife. Thine will be the worst, I fear we shall leave a halfpenny in hand. You mean 'tis sharp. Tush, I am glad we escaped the reckoning for our liquour. If you be examined how we met, swear by chance, for so they met, and therefore will believe it: if how much we drunk, let them answer them selves, they know best because they paid it. To morrow fresh and fasting. At nunc Barbary est grandis habere nihil, but now wit and honesty buy nothing in the market. Nay, my master rung all in the tavern, & thrust all out in the house. But how spedst thou? Why what did he in all that time? And what thou? These were coniunctions rather than interiecti ons. But what of the plot? Excellent. Very good. Thou boy, so have I done in every point, for the song, the calling her in, & the hoping that another shall woo Accius, and his daughter wed him, I told him this wooing should be to night, and they early married in the morning, without any words saving to say after the Priest. The better for us, we did but a little parboil our livers, they have sod theirs in sack these forty years. And here comes Silena with her wit of proof marry it will scarce hold out question shot, let us in to instruct our Master's in the que. That shall be hereafter to make us sport, but our Master's shall never know it. All here before me, you make hast. And I'll know what will become of our devices. They say you are cunning, & are called the good woman of Rochester. I would have Like e well if all the gerundes had been there, di, do, and dum, but all in die, thats too deadly. Nothing till I see whither all this be true that she hath said. Nay mother tell us this, What is all our Fortune's, we are about a matter of legerdemain, how will it fodge? Here is Silenas attire, Linceo put it upon Livia, and give me Livia's for Silena, this done, ler Candius & Livia come forth, and let Dromio and me alone for the rest. Else how should they couple? And what deeds? What gift? He knows what he says, for he once served the postmaster. How Like you them, be they not a pretty couple? But will you never hereafter take it in dudgeon, but use them as well as though your selves had made the marriage. Tush, let us alone, we will persuade them that all falls out for the best, for if underhand this match had be concluded, they both had been coosned, and now seeing they find both to be fools, they may be both better advised. But why is Halfepenle so sad? Rather pray there be no fallen of money, for thou wilt then go for a que. The more Ass he, if he had arrested a mare in stead of and horse, it had been but a slight oversight, but to arrest a man that hath no likeness of a horse, is flat lunasie or alecie. Why he never asked for any. Nay stay, let him be bailed. If thou be a good fellow Hacknyman, take all our four bonds for the payment, thou knowest we are town born children, and will not shrink the city for a pelting jade. And I. A scriveners shop hangs to Sergeants maze, Like a burre to a freeze coat. Now if our wits be not in the wain, our knave ry shall be at the full, they will ride them worse than Dromio rid his horse, for if the wine master their wits, you shall see them bleed their folly's. The Sergeants maze lies at pawn for the reck ning, and he under the board to cast it up. Then lets about it speedily, for so many y rons in the together require a diligent Plummer. You shall hear sweet music between a hoarse raven and a schritch owl. If it were knavery for four to meet in a Tavern, your wor. wot well there were other four. I'll take the tale by the end; then we four met, which argued we were no mountains, and in a tavern we met, which argued we were mortal, and every one in his wine told his days work, which was a sign we forgotten not our business, and seeing all our Master's trou bled with devises, we determined a little to trouble the water before they drunk, so that in the attire of your children our Master's wise children bewrayed their good nature's, and in the garments of our Master's chil dren yours made a marriage; this all stood upon us poor children and your young children, to show that old folks may be overtaken by children. What dost thou think them rats, and fearest they shall be poisoned? I herd Mother Bomby say that thou shalt die a beggar, beware of Mother Bomby. Come Sergeant weel toss it this week, and make thy maze arrest a boiled capon. Then take heed how on such as we are, you show a cast of your office. Thou for the edge, and I the point will make the fool bestride our mistress backs, and then have at the bag with the dudgin haft, that I , at the dudgeon dagger, by which hangs his tantony pouch. The old fashion is best, a purse with a ring round about it, as a circle to course a knaves hand from it: but Dromio, two they say may keep con fell is one be away: but to convey knavery, two are too few, and four too many. Are you so dapper, weel send you for and Halfpenny loaf. In good time. If thou have but any spice of knavery wele make thee happy. Weel bite thee for and ape if thou bob us like asses. But to end all, if thou wilt join with us, we will make a match between the two fools, for that must be our tasks, and thou shalt devise to cou ple Candius & Livia, by overreaching their father's. Plump thou makest men's Ruby faces, And from Girls canst fetch embraces; Now Goatishly to whore, Our Master's will be overtaken if they tarry. I and his k. or else we shall thrive ill. Lupus in fabulam, Dromio embrace me, hug me, kiss my hand, I must make thee fortunate.