HALFPENNY

I hope you shall never slip string, but hang steady. Thou liest, thou hast not a farthing to lay thy hands on, I am none of thine: but let me be wagging, my head is full of hammers, & they have so maletted my wit, that I am almost a malcon tent. My master hath a fine scholar to his son, Prisius a fair lass to his daughter. The feathers have put them up, utterly disli king the match, and have appointed the one shall have Memphios son, the other Stellios daughter, this works like wax, but how it will fadge in the end, the hen that sits next the cock cannot tell. But they are not fools that be short, if I thought thou meantest so, Senties qui vir sim, Thou shouldst have a crow to pull. At mine own conceit and quick censure. Suddenly me thought you two were asses, and that the least ass was the more ass. Yea, my young master taught me to prove it by learning, and so I can out of Ovid by a verse. You must first for fashion sake confess your selves to be asses. Then stand you here and you there. Then this is the verse as I point it, Cum ma la per longas inualuêre moras. So you see the least ass is the more ass. Let me alone, Non enim meam pigra ivuentus, there's matter in this noddle. But look where Prisius boy comes, as fit as a pud ding for a dogs mouth. I am the bodkin, look well to your ears, I must boar them. Let us consult at the Tavern, where after to the health of Memphio, drink we to the life of Stellio, I carouse to Prisius, & brinch you mass Spe rantus, we shall cast us our accounts and discharge our stomachs, Like men that can digest any thing. Nay, I hope to see thee so strong, to shake three trees at once. In deed Inter pocula philosophundum, it is good to plea among pots. Why, sayest thou that thou hast left a print deeper in thy hand already than a halfpenny can leave, unless it should sing worse than and hight iron. By thee our Noses swell, With sparkling Carbuncle. Now Hoggishly ith' mire, Now must every one by wit make and ex cuse, and every excuse must be coosnage. Sharp? I'll warrant 'twill serve for as good sauce to knavery as As thy knavery meat for his wit. When shall we meet. Away, away, if our Master's take us here the matter is marred. How? Like wine, for my body being the rund let, and my mouth the vent, it wrought two days over, till I had thought the hoops of my head would have flown asunder. I care not, Omnem solum forti patriam, I can live in christendom as well as in Kenned. He loves thee well that would run after. Thou meanest, a brown nut is good to crack. In faith sour heart, he that takes his pleasure on thee is very pleasurable. Well then let fair words cool that choler, which foul speeches hath kindled, and because we are all in this case, and hope all to have good fortune, sing a roundelay, and weel help, such as thou wast wont when thou beatest hemp. Well brought about. I for my partly am resolute, in utran que paratus, re die to die or to run away. And I. Cross your selves, look how she looks. Nay then let me come in with a dream, short but sweet, that my mouth waters ever since I waked: Me thought there sat upon a shelf three damask prunes in velvet caps and pressed satin gowns Like judges, and that there were a whole handful of curants to be araig ned of a riot, because they clum ̄ ged together in such clum sters, twelve raisons of the sun were impaneled in a Jewry, and as a leaf of whole maze which was bailief was carrying the quest to consult, me thought there came and angry cook, and gelded the Jewry of their stones, and swept both judges, iurers, rebels and bailiefe into a porridge pot, whereat I being melancholy, fetched a deep sighs, that waked my self and my bed fellow. Then ask my bedfellow, you know him, who dreamed that night that the king of diamonds was sick. Wertenberg thou once put to it? I Risio would feign see thee beg. What shall become of Accius and Silena? It was too good to be true, for we should laugh heartily, and without laughing my spleen would split, but whist here comes the man, Enter Accius. and yonder the maid, let us stand aside. There was and ancient proverb knocked in the head. Excellently applied. A brave fight is like to be between a cock with a long comb, and a hen with a long leg. And his comb longer than his wit. I marry sir. Whither will they, here be right cobblers cuts. Because when their bodies were at work a bout household stuff, their minds were busied about commonwealth matters. I'll warrant if this be the cream, the milk is very flat, let us join issue with them. Theres a glieke for you, let me have my gird, on thy conscience tell me what 'tis a clock? I am paid stroke dead in the nest, I am sure this soft youth who is not half so wise as you are fair, nor you altogether so fair as he is foolish, will not be so captious. A hard question, for it is odds but one begat them both, he that cut out the upper leather, cut out the inner, & so with one awl stitched two soles together. 'Tis Prisius daughter. Oh how fitly this comes of! I, 'tis and hard matter to have a wit of the old rend, every one racks his commons so high. I and Silena to, if you tie them fast to your tongues. Ass for you all four, Why was it a bear thou ridst on? No, it was for tiring. I'll enter into a statute Merchant to see it An swered. But if thou wilt have bonds, thou shalt have a bushel full. I yield. And there was with them a priest. And the priest spoke many kind words. Nay I think not so. Accessary as it were. As good honfesse here being trust, as at home with my hose about my heals. Do your worst, our knaveries will renenge it upon your children's children. If you mace us, weel pepper you. The new wine is in thine head, yet was he feign to take this metaphor from ale, and now you talk of ale, let us all to the wine. We must not tarry, abeundum est mihi, I must go and cast this matter in a corner. I presequar a bowl, and I'll come after with a broom, every one remember his que. That makes them spit white broth as they do. But to the purpose. Candius and Livia will send their attires, you must send the apparel of Accius and Sile nam, they wonder wherefore, but commit the matter to our quadrapertit wit. That is, we are all with thee, for thou art a very baggage. Because I thought thee a fool, to ask who thine own son was. The hackneyman he whisks with his wand, as if the Tavern were his stable, and all the servants his horses, Iost there up bay Richard, and white loaves are horsebread in his eyes. Alas sir they rustle into every place, give credit to no such words. Tush, doubt not of mine, I am as full for my pitch as you are for yours, a wrens egg is as full of meat as a goose eg, though there be not so much in it: you shall find this head well stuffed, though there went little stuff to it. Nothing but that such double coy strels as you be are counterfeit? Because I am sure I shall never be a penny. I shall go for silver though, when you you shall be nailed up for slips. I fear she is wormeaten within, she is so moth-eaten without. These three had wise men to their Fa the. They two love one another deadly. Now begins the game.