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Full speech
Oh that we had Sir Tophas that brave Squire, in the amid of our mirth, & ecce autem, will you see the devil? What then do your blows? How darest thou come so near thy Master Epi? Sir Tophas spare us. May we know the use for our better skill in war? Oh desperate attempt. Oh wonderful war. Dares, didst thou ever hear such a dolt? Leisure, I will rather lose my Masters sir vice then his company, look how he strouts; But what is this, call you it your sword? Nay you are all Mass and Ass. I pray sir hear us speak, we call you Mass, which your learning does well understand, is all Man, for Mass maris is a man. Then As (as you know) is a weight, and we for your virtues account you a weight. Wisely. Come, next time weel have some pretty Gentlewomen with us to walk, for without doubt with them he will be very dainty. It is a thing most strange, and I think mine will never return, so that we must both seek new Masters, for we shall never live by our manners. What Epi, where's thy Master? how is he attired? That ugly creature? Why she is a fool, a scold, fat, without fashion, and quite without favour. Come Dares, let us not lose him till we find our Masters, for as long as he lives, we shall lack nei there mirth nor meat. A brave resolution, But how wilt thou spend thy time? Thou art excellent at thy choice, but what pastime wilt thou use, none? What dice? Shall we never see thy Master Dares? Tush let me alone, I'll begin to them. Mai sters God speed you. This will grow hight. Scurvily brought about. Eumenides hath told such strange tales, as I may well wonder at them, but never believe them. She hath vowed she will never love any that hath not a tooth in his head less then she. Thy Master is in a notable vain, that will lose his teeth to be Like a Turtle. How shall we do to make him leave his love, for we never spoke to her? Be not desperate, and we will help you to find a young Lady, Most willingly. And we to hear what news of Endymion for the conclusion. Stay your courage valiant Knight, for your wisdom is so weary that it stays it self. And why not Friends? I am Samias, page to Endymion. Let them sighs, and let us sing, how say you gen tlewomen, are not our Master's too far in love? It were good sport to see the fight between two sparks. That, that. Good, good. Step between them least they scratch. In faith gentlewomen, seeing we came out to be merry, let not your jarring mar our jests: be friends, how say you? A strange sighed to see water come out of fire. No, but a little vain glorious. Come let us take him off Sir Tophas all hail. Ther's a girl. Thy Master hath slept his share. As how Epi? Excellent, for of my word, she is both crabbish, lumpish, and carping. Content. Sir Tophas, you have overslept your self. Will thy master never awake? But here comes Epi, in a pelting chafe. Why art thou angry? True. Is he still in love? Canst thou remember any one of his Poems? That's a very long verse. Worse, and worse, but how wilt thou live? No man? Why we are but boys. We willl also see the event, but whist here comes Cynthia, with all her train: Let us Sneak in amongst them. All hail sir Tophas, how feel you your self?
Plot summary
Plot — Endymion, the Man in the Moon
Endymion is obsessed with his love for GyHEHI, the moon, and neglects Méllisj who is infatuated with him. She plots to force him to love her, but the enchantress Dipsas is unable to induce love magically. She can, however, make Endymion sleep away his youth, and, with Bag@a’s assistance, casts a spell to that effect. Meanwhile the comic braggart Sir GpHaS falls in love with Dipsas and sleeps too. When Tellus is rude about Endymion, Cynthia banishes her to weave in a desert castle. There she uses her feminine attractiveness to induce her keeper, GGESITES, to move Endymion from where he sleeps, but he is unable to lift the sleeping body. He is pinched asleep by fairies, who magically spot his face and hands. S@mielé is sentenced to a year’s silence as punishment for her spiteful speaking. Cynthia sends courtiers around the world in search of a remedy for Endymion, but the wise men who come are unable to help. However, Eiimenideés finds a magic fountain which will supply any wished-for remedy ifa true lover weeps into it and sees the bottom. Eumenides passes the fidelity test and has to choose whether to satisfy his unrequited love for Semele or wake up Endymion. He chooses Endymion, and is shown in a cryptic prophecy that the sleeper will wake when Cynthia kisses him. It works: Endymion awakes, now an old man, and tells his dreams. Sir Tophas also awakes, seemingly more youthful. Neither gets the girl: Cynthia is chaste and unattainable, while Dipsas turns out to be married to G@fon, the keeper of the magic fountain, who has returned to court with Eumenides. The truth about Endymion’s long sleep emerges after Bagoa reveals the spell; in reprisal, Dipsas turns her into a tree. Tellus is questioned and admits her part in the affair. Cynthia restores Endymion’s youth and learns of his love for her, and of Eumenides’ for Semele. Semele’s initial silence is taken to indicate consent, but when she speaks, Cynthia sentences her to lose her tongue. Eumenides’ offer of his own tongue instead convinces Semele of his sincerity, and she accepts him. Corsites and Tellus are also paired off, and Dipsas, initially sentenced to banishment among the wild beasts, is remitted to the custody of her husband. At the request of Sir Tophas, Cynthia also releases Bagoa from the tree.