DIOGENES

And thou as great honour being a Philosopher to be thought courtlike, as others shame that be cour tiers, to be accounted Philosophers. And thou thy manners, in that thou didst not counterfeit money. As good be crooked, and endeavour to make my self straight from the court, as to be Straight, and learn to be crooked at the court. And thou to be jump with Alexander. All hate to thy peevish conditions. For a man and a beast. Called men. The beast my man Manes. So is he that begat thee. Give him leave to do as he hath done be before. To run away. It were a shame for Diogenes to have need of Manes, and for Manes to have no need of Diogenes. Upon condition. That you should tell me wherefore any of you both were good. Well then Granichus, be thou a painter to a mend thine ill face, and thou Psyllus a Philosopher to correct thine evil manners. But who is that Manes? Manes, thou knowest the last day I threw a way my dish to drink in my hand, because it was super fluous, now I am determined to put away my man, and serve my self: Quia non egeo vi velte. I know I have no money, neither will I have ever a man: for I was resolved long sith ̄ ce to put away both my slaves, money and Maues. Who calls? Because it was as far from my tub to your pal lace, as from your palace to my tub. No. Because they be no Gods. Yea, Gods of earth. I am glad of it. Because I would have none of Diogenes mind, but Diogenes Then take not from me, that you cannot give me, the light of the world. Nothing that you have. And I in contempt. But I shall die whither you will or no. Unlearn to covet. Do. He made thee a beggar, that first gave thee any thing. I want nothing, till the springs dry, & the earth perish. And I care not for those gods, which want more ney. Thou art not, that will beg anything. Ye wicked and bewitched Athenians, whose bodies make the earth to groan, and whose breathes infect the air with stench. Come you to see Diogenes fly? Diogenes comes to see you sink: ye call me dog, so I am, for I long to gnaw the bones in your skins. Ye term mean hater of men: no, I am a hater of your ma ̄ ers. Your lives dissolute, not fearing death, will prove your death's desperate, not hoping for life. What do you else in Athens but sleep in the day, and surfeit in the night: back Gods in the morning with pride, in the e uening belly Gods with gluttony. You flatter kings, & call them Gods, speak truth of your selves, and continued ̄ fesse you are devils. From the Be you have take ̄ not the ho ney, but the wax to make your religion, framing it to the time, not to the truth. Your filthy lust you colour under a courtly colour of love, injuries abroad under the title of policies at home, & secret malice creeps under the name of public justice. You have caused Alexander to dry up springs and plant vines, to sow roket and weed endisse, to shear sheep, and shrine foxes. All conscience is sealed at Athens. Swearing comes of a hight mettle: lying of a quick wit: flattery of a flowing tonge, undecent talk of a merry disposition. All things are lawful at Athe ̄ S. Either you think there are no Gods, or I must think ye are no men. You built as though you should live for e ver, and surfeit as though you should die tomorrow. None teaches true Philosophy but Aristotle, because he was the kings schoolmaster. Oh times, Oh men, Oh corruption in manners. Remember that green grass must turn to dry hay. When you sleep, you are not sure to wake, and when you rise not certain to lie down. Look you never so hie, your heads must lie level with your feet. Thus have I flown over your disordered lives, and if you will not amend your manners, I will study to fly further from you, that I may be nearer to hone sty. It was no shame to go out, but a shame to go in. I tell thee, unless thou be honest, I will fly. Thy father need fear no dogs, but dogs thy fa there. And I will tell him, that you flatter him before his face. In deed I think the Athenians have their chil dre ̄ ready for any vice, because they be Athenian ̄ S. No Manes, not without wings. No, I warrant you: for I will always say the A thenians are mischievous. What can thy sons do? The better, the worse. The Musicians very bad, who only study to have their strings in tune, never framing their manners to order. To see a wag, that was born to break his neck by destiny, to practice it by art. Fear not boy, dogs eat no thistles. When I am hungry, a mastive, and when my bel lie is full, a spaniel. I must needs believe there are Gods: for I think thee and enemy to them. Because thou hast taught one of thy sons to rule his legs, and not to follow learning, the other to bend his body every way, and his mind no way. It is the next way to driven away a thief. I care not: for I have herd a Nightingale sing her self. But there is never a Thrush but can. To be as unlike as may be thy sons. Thou needest not be taught, thy legs are so nim ble. Nay, hold your peace, he shall not. There is not room enough for him and me both to tumble in one tub. I thought no less, when they knew my for tues. Nor thou have followed Alexam ̄ der, if thou hadst scraped roots. I fear me Apelles, that thine eyes have blabbed that, which thy tongue durst not. What little regard hadst thou, whilst Alexander viewed the counterfeit of Cam paspe, thou stoodst gazing on her countenance? If he espy or but suspect, thou must needs twice perish with his hate, and thine own love. Thy pale looks, when he blushed, thy sad countenance, when he smiled, thy sighs, when he questioned, may breed in him a jealousy, perchance a frenzy. Oh love, I never before knew what thou Wertenberg, and now haste thou made me that I know not what my self am? Only this I know, that I must endure intolerable passion, for unknown plea sures. Dispute not the cause wretch, but yield to it: for better it is to melt with desire, then wrestle with love. Cast thy self on thy careful bed, be content to live unknown, and die unfound. Oh Campaspe, I have pain ted thee in my heart, painted? nay, contrary to mine art, imprinted, and that in such deep Characters, that nothing can raze it out, unless it rub thy heart out. I say, I would spit it out of my mouth, because it should not poison my stomach. I am a dog, and Philosophy rates me from carrion. I remember there was a thing, that I repented me of, and now thou haste told it, indeed it was too deer of nothing, and thou deer to no bo die. If you come to learn, you could not come soon enough, if to laugh, you be come too soon. And you lose, if you durst displease. That we have lit be; and loose much. Be sure that he make not his Phisit on his him e. As much as you in the end must be contented withal. No, the length of my body. A little worse then I can of hate. Because it is better to hate the things, which make to love, the ̄ to love the things, which give occasion of hate. Next men and Bees. One thing. That she is a woman. And when you have done so, I pray you remove your court further from my cabin, because I will not be a courtier. And you your profession, that you went to the king.