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Full speech
¶ Oh worthy Money, thine absence hath be long, My sorrow in thine absence can not be spoken with tongue: For you money is only the pain I do take, Would I flatter or dissemble, unless it were for your sake? ¶ What Adulation or flattery more welcome to me ¶ Do you think I will flatter or fain any man, Unless for your sake? nay, beshrew me than, Such as love them selves, and love their own ways best, Must needs be flattered therein, and then they be at rest. They must be held up, and flattered in their evil, And for you I care not how many I send to the devil. ¶ Be of good cheer Sir, of this I am sure, You cannot die so long as the world doth endure. Come hither Mischievous help, Money is almost dead, Come quickly in the mischief, and help to hold his head. ¶ Let him hold your head, and I will hold your stomach, And I hope with speed you shall have very good luck. I hope he is coming for I feel him at my throat, ¶ Money is to me such a sure friend, That seeing he is gone, I will not tarry behind. ¶ There will none believe I dare ioberd my hand, That pleasure shall die so long as the world does stand Therefore take no care, nor yet lament or moan, For suddenly it came, and suddenly it will be gone. ¶ Even as you were the occasion of the sickness of your father, So is your son Sin to you I am sure: So that you would I think be soon easied of your pains If you could avoid sin from you by any means. ¶ I have ever to you Pleasure born such love, That to depart with you my heart doth me move.
Plot summary
Plot — All for Money
The play satirizes the domination of money in a sequence of discrete episodes. Theology, Science, and Art lament that they are now primarily studied out ofa desire for money. Money becomes ill and vomits up Pleasure, who in turn gives birth to Sin in the same manner, whose progeny in turn is Damnation. Satan is pleased that Money’s wide popularity will consign so many souls to hell, and asks Sin to assist in the process. The relative values of money and learning are assessed in an encounter between four characters who have or lack them in various permutations: learning is shown to be superior to money, and poverty in this world carries the promise of a heavenly reward in the next; the clinching point is that Learning with Money gives alms to the poor where Money without Learning refuses. Money feels overworked and Sin gives him an associate, All for Money, who presides over a corrupt court: he pardons theft and assault, infanticide, and bigamy, but hangs a poor thief who is unable to bribe him. He also advises two suitors to procure false witnesses to support their causes, and protects a corrupt and incompetent cleric. Judas and Dives, two souls damned for monetary sins, lament their situation; Damnation drives them off to hell. Godly Admonition warns the audience not to repent too late, and to give up cupidity.