VALORE

And i'faith sister what will you do yonder. Glad to see you, faith the Lady Honoria cares for you as she does for all other young Ladies, she's glad to see you, and will show you the privy Garden, and tell you how many gowns the Duchess had: Marry if you have ever and old uncle, that would be a Lord, or ever a kins man that hath done a murder, or committed a robbery, and will give good store of money to procure his par done, then the Lady Honoria will be glad to see you. I'll tell you what you shall see, you shall see ma nigh faces of men making, for you shall find very few as God left them: and you shall see many legs too; a amongst the rest you shall behold one pair, the feet of which, were in times passed sockelesse, but are now through the change of time (that alters all things) very strangely become the legs of a Knight and a Courtier: another pair you shall see, that were heir apparent legs to a Glover, these legs hope shortly to be honourable; when they pass by they will bow, and the mouth to these legs, will seem to offer you some Courtship; it will swear, but it will lie, hear it not. Sister, in seriousness you yet are young And fair, a fair young maid and apt. Exceeding apt, apt to be drawn to. To that you should not be, it's no dispraise, She is not bade that hath desire to ill, But she that hath no power to rule that will: For there you shall be wooed in other kinds Then yet your years have known, the chiefest men Will seem to throw themselves As vassals at your service, kiss your hand, Prepare you banquets, masks, shows, all enticements That wit and lust together can devise, To draw a Lady from the state of grace To and old Lady widows Gallery; And they will praise your virtues, beware that, The only way to turn a woman whore, Is to commend her chastity: yowl go? You're very welcome sir, I pray you stand up, you shall dine with me. Sir, what needs all this? you shall dine with me, I pray rise. Oh sir, by no means. And so much still assure your self of. I pray you sir leap into the matter, what would you have me do for you? When sir? It shall be done, but for what virtues, would you have him take notice of you? Not so sir, I know you have not the face to be a favourite on the sudden. In what Sir? as how? Yonders my old Spirit, that hath haunted me daily, ever since I was a privy Counsellor, I must be rid of him, I pray you stay there, I am a little busy, I will speak with you presently. It'll be rare, if you will walk before Sir, I will overtake you instantly. This fellow is a kind of Informer, one that lives in Alehouses, and Taverns, and because he perceives some worthy men in this land, with much labour & great expense, to have discovered things dangerously hanging over the State; he thinks to discover as much out of the talk of drunkards in Taphouses: he brings me informa tions, picked out of broken words, in men's common talk, which with his malicious misapplication, he Hope's will seem dangerous, he doth beside bring me the names of all the young Gentlemen in the City, that use Ordinaries, or Taverns, talking (to my thinking) only as the freedom of their youth teach the ̄ , without any further ends; for dangerous and seditious spirits, he is be sides and arrant whoremaster, as any is in Milan, of a lay man. I will not meddle with the Clergy, he is parcel Lawyer, & in my conscience much of their religion, I must put upon him some piece of service; come hither Sir, what have you to do with me? You shall not attend there long. This day I am for fools, I am all theirs, Though Like to our young wanton cockerd heirs, Who do affect those men above the rest, In whose base company they still are best: I do not with much labour strive to be The wisest ever in the company: But for a fool, our wisdom oft amends, As enemies do teach us more then friends. It falls out better then we could expect Sir, that we should find the Duke and my Lord Gondarino toga there, both which you desire to be acquainted with. Are they in consultatio ̄ , if they be, either my young Duke hath got some bastard, and is persuading my knight yonder, to father the child, and marry the wench, or else some Cockpit is to be built. His name is Lucio, 'tis he that was made a Lord at the request of some of his friends for his wives sake, he of fects to be a great Statesman, and thinks it consists in night caps, and jewels, and tooth-pikes? A Knight Sir, that pleases the Duke to favour, & to raise to some extraordinary Fortune's, he can make as good men as himself, every day in the week and does— Truly Sir, I am not able to say directly, for what; but for wearing of read breeches as I take it, he's a brave man, he will spend three Knighthoods at a Supper without trumpets. If he have the itch of Knighthood upon him, let him repair to that Physician, he'll cure him: but I will give you a note; is your friend fat or lean? Will be the worse for him. The Lord of the house, he that you desire to be acquainted with, he does hate women for the same cause that I love them. Which: Have I mine eye sighed perfect, 'Tis my sister, did I say the Duke had a bastard? what should she make here with him, and his Council; she hath no pa pers in her hand, to petition to them, she hath never a husband in prison, whose release she might sue for: Thats a fine trick for a wench; to get her husband clapped up, that she may more freely, & with less suspicion, visit the private studies of men in authority. Now I do discover their consultatio ̄ , yond fellow is a Pandar without all salvam cion; But let me not condemn her too rashly, without weighing the matter; she's a young Lady, She went forth early this morning with a waiting woman, and a Page, or so: This is no garden house, in my conscience she went forth with no dishonest intent; for she did not pretend going to any sermon in the further end of the City: Neither went she to see any odd old Gentle woman, that mourns for the death of her husband, or the lose of her friend, and must have young Ladies come to comfort her: Those are the damnable Bawds, It no set meeting certainly: for there was no wafer-wo man with her, these three days, on my knowledge: I'll talk with her: Good mor owe my Lord. I am glad to meet you here Sister. No faith, I dare trust thee, I do suspect thou art honest, for it is so rare a thing to be honest amongst you, that some one man in and age, may perhaps suspect some two women to be honest, but never believe it verily. Let me entreat your grace to stay a little, To know a Gentleman, to whom your self Is much beholding, he hath made the sport For your whole Court these 8. years, on my knowledge. Lazarello. Lazarello, pluck up thy Spirits, thy fort nes are now raising, the Duke calls for thee, and thou shalt be ac quainted with him. 'Tis all one, thou shalt know him first. Lazarello the Duke stays, wilt thou lose this open portunity? It well thought of: you must not talk to him, as you do to and ordinary man, honest plain sense; but you must wind about him: for example, if he should ask you what a clock it is, you must not say; if it please your grace, 'tis nine, but thus; thrice three a clock, so please my Sovereign, or thus; look how many muses there does dwell, Upon the sweet banks of the learned Well; And just so many strokes the clock hath struck, And so forth, and you must now & then enter into a de scription. Come: May it please your grace to take note of a gentleman, well seen, deeply read, & thoroughly grou ̄ dead in the hidden knowledge of all salads and potherbs whatsoever. Very well: will your grace question him a little? Your grace shall find him in your further continued ̄ fere ̄ ce Grave, wise, courtly, & scholar Like, understand ̄ dingly read In the necessities of the life of man. He knows that man is mortal by his birth; He knows that men must die, and therefore live; He knows that man must live, and therefore eat, And if it shall please your grace, to accompany your self with him, I doubt not, but that he will at the least, make good my commendations. Nay you shall well perceive, beside the virtues that I have already informed you off, he hath a stomach, which will stoop to no Prince alive. Whither. Keep it from Lazarello : Sister shall I confer with you in private, to know the cause of the Dukes coming hither, I know he makes you acquainted with his business of State. Good Sister, when you see your own time, will you return home. Lazarello, bestir thy self nimbly and suddenly, and here me with patience. to hear. So art thou to revenge, when thou shalt hear the fish head is gone, and we know not whither. I hate to leave my friend in his extremities. Farewell my Lord, I was entreated to invite your Lordship to a Ladies upsitting. The gods defend so brave and valiant maw, Should slip into the never satiate jawe Of black Despair; no, thou shalt live and know Thy full desires, hunger thy ancient foe, Shall be subdued, those guts that daily tumble Through air and appetite, shall cease to rumble: And thou shalt now at length obtain thy dish, That noble partly, the sweet head of a fish. But how, or where, or when this shall be come passed, is yet out of my reach. Yet do I see through this confusedness some lit tle comfort. It's from my head again. Let it go: hast not thou been held To have some wit in the Court, and to make fine jests Upon country people in progress time, and Wilt thou lose this opinion, for the cold head of a Fish? I say, let it go: I'll help thee to as good a dish of meat. I have it, 'tis now infused, be comforted. Sir, I have found by certain calculation, and set led revolution of the stars, the Fish is sent by the Lord Gondarino to his Mercer, now 'tis a growing hope to know where 'tis. But how to compass it, search, east about, and bang your brains, Lazarello, thou art to dull and heavy to deserve a blessing. Yonders my Informer And his fellow with table books, they nod at me Upon my life, they have poor Lazarello that beats His brains about no such weighty matter, in for Treason before this— Good, very good. Will no thing ease your appetite but this? If you could be drawn to affect Beef, Venison, or Foul, two ld be far the better. Sir you shall work me as you please. I am all yours. Sir this cloak keeps me private, beside no man will suspect me to be in the company of this Gen tleman, with whom, I will desire you to be acquainted, he may prove a good customer to you. I hope they will not dispute. For me? what is he? Let him come in. Count Come to the Court, your business calls you thither , I will go, farewell Sir, isle see your silks some other time: Farewell Lazarillo. Sir I have greater business then eating; I will leave this gentlema ̄ with you. Is the Duke private? I know her chaste, though she be young & free, And is not of that forced behaviour That many others are, and that this Lord, Out of the boundless malice to the sex, Hath thrown this scandal on her. He that confesses, he did once dissemble, I'll never trust his words, can you imagine A maid, whose beauty could not suffer her To live thus long untempted, by the noblest, Richest, and cunningest Master's in that Art, And yet hath ever held a fair repute; Could in one morning, and by him be brought, To forget all her virtue, and turn whore? At his house. Whither? Fear me not so, if she deserve the fame Which she hath got, I would have it published, Brand her my self, and whip her through the city: I wish those of my blood that do offend, Should be more strictly punished, then my foes. Let it be proved. Come, let us enter? It is. Stay, stay. This will not down with me, I dare not trust this fellow. Stay, good my Lord, I do believe all this, as great men as I have had known whores to their sisters, & have laughed at it, I would feign hear how she talks, since she grew thus light: will your grace make him show himself to her, as if he were now come to satisfy her longing? whilst we unseen of her, overhear her wantonness, let's make our best of it now we shall have good mirth. Here we shall stand unseen, and near enough. Come down. Come meet us there then? He that hath begun so worthily, It fits not with his resolution To leave of thus: my Lord I know these are but idle proves. What says your Lordship to them? What needs a better proof then your Lordship, I am sure you have lain with her my Lord. My Lord, I dare absoule him from all sin of Treason: I know his most ambitions is but a dish of meat; which a'hath hunted, with so true a sent, that he deserves the Collar, not the Halter. Your grace shall have the cause hereafter, when when you may laugh more freely. But these are called Informers: men that live by Treason; as Rat-chatchers do by poison. Now even a word or two to you, and so farewell; you think you have deserved much of this state, by this dis couerie: you are a slavish people, grown subject to the come mon course of all men. How much unhappy were that noble spirit, could work by such baser gains? what mi sery would not a knowing man put on, with willingness, ere he see him self grown fat and full fed, by fallen of those you rise by? I do discharge you my attendance; our health full state needs no such Leeches to suck out her blood. Go learn to be more honest, when ̄ I see you work your means from honest industry, Exeunt Informers. I will be willing to accept your labors: Till then I will keep back my promised favours: Here comes and other remnant of folly: Enter Lucio. I must dispatch him too. Now Lord Lucio, what business bring you hither? Sir you have performed the partly of a most care full statesman, and let me say it to your face, Sir of a Fa there to this state: I would wish you to retire, and ensconce your self in study: for such is your daily labour, and our fear, that the lose of and hour may breed our overthrow. Go, and mayest thou knock down Treason Like and Ox. Sister, I am glad you have brought your honour off so fairly, without lose: you have done a work above your sex, the Duke admires it; give him fair encounter. Sister, say I: I know you can afford it. So: this bargain was well driven. Stay still, you shall attend her sentence. My Lord, I hope to see him purged ere a partly. Faith my Lord, if a could get a knife, sure a wo'd cut her throat, or else a wo'd do as Hercules did by Lyeas, swing out her soul: has the true hate of a woma ̄ in him. The best that ever was. All is overblown Sister, you're Like to have a fair night of it, and a Prince in your arms: lets go my Lord. Your servants are ready? Well, if you come off clear from this hight service, Your praise shall be the greater. Farewell Sister. Once more, if you stay in the presence till candle light, keep on the foreside oth' Curtain; & do you hear, take heed of the old Bawd, in the cloth of Tissue-sleeves, and the knit Mittins. Farewell Sister. Exit Oria. Now am I idle, I would I had been a Scholar, that I might a studied now: the punishment of meaner men is, they have too much to do; our only misery is, that without company we know not what to do; I must take some of the common courses of our Nobility; which is thu : if I can find no company that likes me, pluck off my Hat band, throw and old Cloak over my face, and as if I would not be known, walk hastily through the streets, till I be discovered; then there goes Count such a one, says one; there goes Count such a one, says another: Look how fast he goes, says a third; there's some great matters in hand questionless, says a fourth; when all my busi ness is to have them say so: this hath been used; or if I can find any company, I'll after dinner to the Stage, to see a Play; where, when I first enter, you shall have a murmur in the house, every one that does not know, cries, what Noble man is that; all the Gallants on the Stage rise, vail to me, kiss their hand, offer me their places: then I pick out some one, whom I please to grace among the rest, take his seat, use it, throw my cloak over my face, and laugh at him: the poor gentle man imagines himself most highly graced, thinks all the Auditors esteem him one of my bosom friends, and in right special regard with me. But here comes a Gentle man, that I hope will make me better sport, then either street and stage fooleries. Enter Lazarello and Boy. This man loves to eat good meat, always provided he do not pay for it himself: he goes by the name of the Hun gary Courtier ; marry, because I think that name will not sufficiently distinguish him, for no doubt he hath more fellows there, his name is Lazarello, he is none of these same ordinary eaters, that will devour three breakfasts, & as many dinners, without any prejudice to their beavers, drinkings or suppers; but he hath a more courtly kind of hunger, and does hunt more after novelty, then plenty, I'll overhear him. Observed you that gentleman, that parted from me but now. I was sending for your, I have talked with this ma ̄ , and I do find him dangerous. Hark you sir, there may perhaps be some within care-shot. Who's within there? Enter a Servingman Let this Gentleman out at the back door, forget not my instructions, if you find any thing dangerous; trouble not your self, to find out me, but carry your informations to the Lord Lucio, he is a man graven and well experienced in these businesses. Very much, for there is and impost set upon Knighthoods, and your friend shall pay a Noble in the pound. For that which Apes want: you perceive me Sir? Sir if it were not so, I have a Sister would set near my heart. You are your self my Lord, I Like your setel'dnes. I will attend your grace: Lazarello, you are at li bertie, be your own man again; and if you can be master of your wishes, I wish it may be so. To the mercers, let me see: how if before we can attain the means, to make up our acquainta ̄ ce, the fish be eaten? Your grace might do it, without Dam ̄ her toy our person ̄ .