YOUNG LOVELESS

Faith mine was to make a Usurer honest, or to lose my land. Yonders Mistress Yongloue brother, the graven rubber of your mistress toes. No, but she offered me once to know her: to this day she loves youth of eighteen; she herd a tale how Cum bid ftrooke her in love with a great Lord in the Tiltyard, but he never saw her; yet she in kindness would needs wear a willow garland at his wedding. She loved all the Players in the last Queens time once over: She was strook when they acted lovers, and forsook some when they played murderers. She has nine Spurroyals, and the servants say she hordes old gold; and she herself pronounces angrily, that the Farmers eldest son, or her Mistress husbands Clark that shall be, that marries her, shall make her a jointure of fourscore pounds a year; she tells tales of the S ruing-men. Lady, my salutations crave acquaintance and leave at on e. Brother yowl hazard the losing your tide to Gravesend: you have a long half mile by land to Green which. Course? why horse-coursing I think. Con fume no time in this: I have no es to to be mended by meditation: he that busies himself about my Fortune's, may properly be said to busy himself about no hing. Why live upon others, as others have lived v Pon me. Why isle purse; if that raise me not, I'll bet at bowling-alleys, or man whores; I would fain live by others: but I'll live while I am vnhangd, and after the thoughts taken. Faith I may choose my course: they say nature brings forth none but she provides for em: I'll try her liberality. If it be referred to him, if I be not found in Carna cion Iearsie stockings, blue devils breeches, with three guards down, and my pocket ith sleeves, isle never look you i'th face again. I shall beat your favour Sir, cross me no more; I say they shall come in. Sir I do not; thou art my brother's Steward, his cast off mill-money, his Kitchen Arithmetic. I make thee not so little as thou art: for indeed there goes no more to the making of a Steward, but a fair Imprimis, and then a reasonable Item infused into him, and the thing is done. I do remember thee a foolish fellow, one that did put his trust in Almanacs, and horse-faiers, and rose by honey and pot-butter. Shall they come in yet? Prithee expound the first. Mark that my wicked Steward, and I dispose of it. Steward this is as plain as your old minikin breeches. Your wisdom will relent now, will it not? Be mollified or — you understand me Sir, proceed. I'll hear no more this Apocripha, bind it by it self steward. Nay you shall know both who I am, and where I am. Are you the sage Master Steward, with a face Like and old Ephimerides? I, and 'tis well said my old peer of France: welcome gentlemen, welcome gentlemen; mine own deer lads, you're richly welcome. Know this old Harry groat. They are the Morals of the age, the virtues. Men made of Gold. In the fragrant field. This is a Traveller Sir, knows men and manners, and has plowed up the Sea so far, till both the poles have knocked, has seen the Sun take Coach, and can distinguish the colour of his horses, and their kinds, and had a Flanders Mare leapt there. This ministers the Smoke, and this the Muses. Why now thou art a loving stinkeard. Fire off thy annotations and thy rend books; thou hast a weak brain Savill, and with the next long Bill thou wilt run mad. Gentlemen you are once more welcome to three hundred pounds a year; we will be freely merry, shall we not? What think you gentlemen by all this Reue new in drink? It shall be so, we'll have it all in drink, let meat and lodging go, th'are transitory, and show men merely mortal: then we'll have wenches, every one his wench, and every week a fresh one: weel keep no powderd flesh: all these we have by war rant under the Title of things necessary. Here upon this place I ground it: the obedience of my people, and all necessaries: Your opinions Gentle men? Believe me 'tis a learned one, and by these words; The obedience of my people, (you steward being one) are bound to fetch us wenches. Steward attend us for instructions. Nothing but drink, three hundred pounds in drink. Get us good whores, and for your partly, I'll board you in and Alehouse, you shall have cheese and onions. Come lads I'll warrant you for wenches, three hundred pounds in drink. Thou shalt hau't boy, and sly in Feather, Lead on a march you Michers. What art thou come? My sweet Sir Amia's welcome to Troy. Come thou shalt kiss my Hellen, and court her in a dance. Shall we consider gentlemen. How say you? Thou shalt drink Steward, drink and dance my Steward. Strike him a hornpipe , take thy striver, and pace her till she stew. And three quarters be it. Sir your business? Out with it a Gods name. Then a pottle of Sack will do, here's my hand, prithee thy business? Thou dost not mean dead drunk? Art sure he's dead? But art thou sure he came not up again? But art sure he had water enough to drown him? Fill him some wine. Thou dost not see me moved, these transitory toys never trouble me, he's in a better place my friend, I know't. Some fellows would have cried now, and have cursed thee, and fallen out with their meat, and kept a pudder; but all this helps not, he was too good for us, and let God keep him: there's the right use on't friend. Off with thy drink, thou hast a spice of sorrow makes thee dry: fill him a neither, Savill, your Master's dead, and who am I now Savill? Nay, let's all bear it well, wipe, Savill, wipe, tears are but thrown away: we shall have wenches now, shall we not Sa vill? Drink to my friend Captain. And drink innumerable. And you'll strain curtsy and be drunk a little. You may be brought in time to love a wench too. Some more wine for my friend there. Here's to you sir, this is the worst I wish you for your news: and if I had another elder brother, and say it were his chance to feed more fish, I should be still the same you see me now, a poor contented Gentleman. More wine for my friend there, he's dry again. Oh Lord sir, it's your modesty: more wine, give him a bigger glass; hug him my Captain, thou shalt be my chief mourner. To my deer Steward, down a your knees you in deal, you Pagan; be drunk and penitent. Then be a Bawd: I'll have thee a brave Baud. Have you any mind to a wench? I would feign gratify you for the pains you took Sir. If you find any stirring, do but say so. Well boys, you see whats fallen, lets in and drink, and give thanks for it. March in my Noble Compears: and this my Countess shall be led by two: and so proceed we to the will. Thanks to my deer incloser, M r Moorecraft; pre thee old Angel gold, salute my family, I'll do as much for yours; this, and your own desires, fair Gentlewoman. Sirrah, my brother's dead. Drowned, drowned at sea: Man, by the ne to fresh Conger that comes we shall hear more. What, wil't thou be and Ass, and weep for the dead? why I thought nothing but a general inundation would have moved thee: prithee be quiet, he hath left his land behind him. Yes faith, I thank him for't, I have all boy, hast a nigh ready money? No not outright good Gripe; marry, a mortgage, or such a slight security. What mean they Captain? Come Sir, what dare you give? Who told you so Sir? Peace, or I'll tack your tongue up to your roof. What money? speak. Come, strike me luck with earnest, and draw the writings. All in, all in: dispatch the writings. It shall Captain, I mean to be a worthy. But howsoever you expound it Sir, she's very welcome, and this shall serve for witness. And widow, since you're come so happily, you shall deliver up the keys, and free possession of this house; while I stand by to ratify. It's passed that widow, come, fit down; some wine there: there is a scur y banquet if we had it. All this fair house is yours Sir. Savill. Are your keys ready, I must ease your burden. Come come, thou shalt live better. Drink M r . Moorecraft, pray be merry all: Nay and you willl not drink ther's no society. Captain speak loud, and drink: widow a word. 'Tis yet time. Be merry, me thinks you want wine there, ther's more i'th house: Captain, where rests the health? By my troth Sir you are welcome, welcome fai h: Lord what a stranger you are grown; pray know this Gentlewoman, and f you please these friends here: We are merry, you see the worst on's: your house has been kept warm Sir: Pray M r . Moorecraft know my elder brother, and Cap ine do your compliment. Savil, I dare swear is glad at heart you: Lord, we herd Sir you were drowned at Sea, and see how luckily things come about? What is this fellow brother? The thirsty Usurer that supped my Land off: Sir to b Landlord of your house and state: I was hold to make a little sale Sir. 'Tis well said widow: will you jog on Sir? Sir every day now sp ng comes on. Good morrow brother, and all good to your Lady. I am glad on't. Now my pretty Lady Sister, How do you find my brother? A will make the better husband: you have tried him? He'll make your will amends soon, do not doubt it. But Sir, I must entreat you to be better known To this converted Jew here. Bless you, and then I'll tell: He's turned Gallant. I'll do it presently. My Ladies Coachman. How many times to night Sir Roger? For horse flesh Roger. Merry companions, wench, merry companious: I wonder sweet heart you will offer this, you do not understand these Gentlemen: I will be short and pithy: I had ra there cast you off by the way of charge: these are Creatures, that nothing goes to the maintenance of but Corn and Water. I will keep these fellows just in the Competency of two Hens: Why prithee sweet heart what's your Ale? is not that Corn and Water my sweet Widow? In that short sentence Ale, is all included: Meat, Drink, and Cloth: these are no ravening footmen, no fellows than at Ordinaries dare their eighteen pence thrice out before they rise, and yet go hungry to play, and crack more nuts then would suffice a dozen Squirrels; beside the din, which is damnable: I had rather rail, and be confined to a Boat maker, then hue among such rascals; these are people of such a clean discretion in their diet, of such a moderate suste nance, that they sweat if they but smell hight meat. Porridge is poison, they hate a kitchen as they hate a counter, and show em but a Featherbed they swoon. Ale is their , and their drinking surely, which keeps their bodies clear, & soluble. Bred is a binder, and for that abolished even in their ale, whose lost room fills and apple, which is more air, a worser of Nature. The rest they take, is little, and that little, as little easy: For Like strict men of order, they do correct their bodies with a bench, or a poor stubborn table; if a chimney it with some few broken rushes, they are in down: when they are sick, that's drunk, they may have fresh shaw, else they do despise these worldly pamperings. For their poor apparel, 'tis worn out to the diet; new they seek none, and if a man should offer, they are angry: scarce to be reconciled again with him: you shall not hear em ask one a cast doublet, once in a year, which is a modesty befitting my poor friends: you see their pe, though slender, competent: For shirts I take it, they are things worn out of their remembrance. Lousy they will be, when they list, and M ngie, which shows a fin ̄ e variety: and then to cure em, a Tanners lymepit, which is little charge, two dogs, and these; these two may be cured for three pence. I will either convert thee (Oh thou Pagan stew ard) or presently confound thee and thy reckonings, who's there? call in the Gent. This is a man of war, that cries go on; and wears his Colours. Stay thy dead doing hand, he must not die yet: prithee be calm my Hector. Prithee dispatch me. Let us embrace him all: if you grow dry before you worser your business, pray take a bait here, I have a fresh hogshead for you. Consider what I told you, you are young, unapt for worldly business: Is it fit one of such tenderness, so delicate, so con trary to things of care, should stir and break her better m dita tions, in the bore brokage of a brace of Angels? or a new kirtell, though it be of satin? Eat by the hope of surfeits, and lie down only in expectation of a morrow that may undo some easy har- ted fool, or reach a widows curses? Let out money, whose use returns the principal? and get out of these troubles, a consuming heir: For such a one must follow necessary, you shall die hated, if not old and miserable; and that possessed wealth that you God with pining, live to see tumbled to another's hands, that is no more a kin to you, then you to his cozenage. Sir I have a suit unto you, Concerning your old servant Savill. Do you know the business? What art thou now then. What dost thou mean to do with thy children Savill? Your family is quartered with discretion: you are resol ved to cant then: where Savil shall your scene lie. You're grown a bitter Gentlememan. I see misery can can clear your head better then mustard. I'll be a suitor for your keys again sir. You shall sir, To your bunch again, or I'll miss foully. I am about some business; Indentures, If you follow me I'll beat you: take heed, As I live I'll cancel your . Do you begin the offering. I am glad of your conversion M r . Moorcraft: you're in a fair course, pray pursue it still. Foot thit is stranger then and Afric monster, There will be no more talk of the Cleave wars While this lasts, come, I'll put thee into blood. He shall sir. I'll be your servant sir. Brother what make you here? will this Lady do? Will she? is she not nettel'd still? I shall not be your debtor Sir. But how is't with you? I Gallant, and is now called, Cutting Moorecraft: The reason I'll inform you, at more leisure, You shall hug one and other. Cutting Moorcraft faees about. I must present another. Oh this is a sweet Branch. What wouldst thou tell me, how Hops go, or hold some rotten discourse of sheep, or when our Lady day falls? Prithee farewell, and entertain my friends, be drunk, and burn thy Table-books: and my deer spark of velvet thou and I Come my brave man of war, trace out thy darling, And you my learned Council, set and turn boys Kiss till the Cow come home, kiss close, kiss close knave S. My modern Poet, thou shalt kiss in couplets. Ent. with wine. Strike up you merry varlets, and leave your peeping, This is no pay for Fiddlers. Drunk as I live. No M r . Moorecraft, t'is the Captains meaning I should prepare her for ye. You must not Like him then. Nay good sir make all even, here's a widow wants your good word for me: she's rich, and may renew me & my Fortune's. I, but art thou very certainly sure of it? Say you can suffer this, because the end points at much profit, can you so far bow below your blood, below your too much beauty, to be a partner of this fellows bed, and lie with his diseases? If you can, I will not press you further: yet look upon him: ther's nothing in that hidebound Usurer; that man of mat, that all worser ayed, but aches: for you to love, unless his peris to lungs his dry cough, or his scurvy. This is truth, and so far I dare speak yet: he has yet passed cure of Physic, spaw, or any diet, a primitive pox in his bones; and of my knowledge he has been ten times rowel: you may love him; he had a basta worser, his own towards issue, whipped, and then cropped for washing out the roses, in three farthings to make um pence. He shall dance, and drink, and be drunk and dance, and be drunk again, and shall see no meat in a year. I would not have him want, I loved him bet ter; here I forgive thee: and aith bec plain, how do I bear it? Why now thou art able to discharge thine office, and cast up a reckoning of some weight; I will be knighted, for my state will bear it, it's sixteen hundred boys: off with your husks, I'll skin you all in satin. Dead, and by this time soused for Ember week. M r . Loveless, truly we thought your sails had been hoist: my Mistress is persuaded you are See -sick ere this. By this l ght that shines, the no removing her, if she get a iffe opinion by the end. I attempted her to day when they say a woman can deny nothing. When her smock was over her ears: but she was no more pliant then if it hung about her heals. I'll doe't: hark hither, is that your Brother? As I live he's a pretty fellow. Captain be gone a while, meet me at my ol Rande uouse in the evening, take your small Poet with you M r . More craft, you we e st go prattle with your learned counsel, I shall preser your mon y. I was cozened when time was, we are quit Sir. Hopelessly passed: I have presented the Usurer with a richer draught, then ever Cleopa tram swallowed; he hath sucked in ten thousand pounds worth of my Land, more then he paid for at a gulp, without Trumpets. This is your drinking, and your who king Savil, I told you of it, but your heart was hardened. Now Polecat, what young Rabets nest have you to draw? Art thou in earnest Moorcraft? Nay if it be no more I shall fulfil it: while my legs will carry me isle bear my self gentlemanlike, but when I am drunk, let them bear me that can. Forward deer steward. No Sir, pray keep the sale, t'wil make good Tailors measures? I am well I thank you. Come forward gentlemen, to Church my boys, when we have done, I'll give you cheer in bouls. Lets have a bridling cast before you go. Fills a new stoop. Away Fox, I'll send for Terriers for you. Did your Master send for me Savil? Wilt thou persever?