WELFORD

Let um not stand still, we have rid hard. A pretty Hall this, No servant in't? I would look freshly. Lady may it please you to bestow upon a stran her the ordinary grace of salutation: Are you the La die of this house? Lady I should be as proud to be a sernant of yours, did not my so late acquaintance make me despair. For these comfortable words I remain your glad debtor. Is your Lady at home? May her occasions admit me to speak with her? I know your a ble virtue will be moved to per suade her, that a Gentleman benighted and strayed offers to be bound to her for a n ghts lodging. What a skin full of lust is this? I thought I had come awoeing, and I am the courted party. This is right Court fashion: Men, Women, and all woe; catch that catch may. If this soft hearted woman have infused any of her tenderness into her Lady, there is hope she will be pli ant. But who's here? Sir my name calls me Welford. I will uphold it as good as any of my Ancestors had this two hundred years Sir. I am only allied to his virtues Sir. Whats that, a Cross? there's a tester. 'Tis Harry: but you cannot proceed orderly now in your Catechism: foe you have told me who gave me that name. Shall beg your names. What room fill you in this house? The more the merrier. But may my boldness know, why your Lady hath sent you to decipher my name? And much speed Sir I hope: certainly I am ari ved amongst a Nation of new found fools: on a Land where no Nam igator has yet planted wit, If I had before seen it, I would have jaded my breeches with bells, knives, copper a worser glasses to trade with the Women for their virginities: yet I fear I should have betrayed my self to and charge then: heres the walking nightcap again. I shall obey your Lady that sent it, and acknow ledge you that brought it to be your Arts Master. A Cobbler Sir? But the inhabitants of this house do often im ploy you on errands, without any scruple of conscience. To know whither it might become your functi on to bid my man to neglect his horse a little, to attend on me. I pray you do so then: and while I will attend your Lady. You direct all this house in the true way? And this door (I hope) conducts to your Lady? Lady if there be any want, 'tis in want of you. Once more deer Lady, and then all sweet nights. Shall the morrow prove better to me, shall I hope my suit happier by this nights rest. So fair, and cruel, deer unkind good night. Nay Sir you shall stay with me, I'll press your zeal so far. Do you love Tobacco? Pray light it Sir. How do you Like it. Handle it again Sir; you have a warm text of it. I, it does so Sir, and me especially to ask Sir, why you wear a night cap. The Butler? certainly he had all his drink a bout him when he did it. Strike one of your graven Cassock? The offence Sir? You told him when his rage was set atilt, and so he cract your Cannons. I hope he has not hurt your gentle reading: But shall we see these Gentleweomen to night? Cannot you cast another for the Gentleweomen? Your comment Sir has made me understand you. Gentlewoman, this courtesy shall bind a stranger to you, ever your servant. I thank you Gentlewoman, and rest bound to you. S e how this fowl familiar changed was the Cud: From thee and three and fifty, good l we deliver me. I take it kindly Lady. I have to the Gentlewoman already Sir. I would your Sister would Like me as well Lady. Now I must overhear her. She looks Like one indeed. Gentlewoman you keep your word, your sweet self has made the bottom sweeter. My self for you, so please you. That smile has turned my stomach. This is right the old Embleame of the Moil cropping off thistles: Lord what a hunting head she carries, sure she has been ridden with a Martingale. Now love deliver me. Sweet rest be with you Lady; and to you what you desire too. Heaven keep me from that curse, and all my Issue. Good night Antiquity. Learned Sir, will you bid my man come to me? and requesting a greater measure of your learning, good night, good M r Roger. Adue deer Domine. Half a dozen such in a King dome would make a man forswear confession: for who that had but half his wits about him would commit the counsel of a serious sin to such a cruel nightcap? Why how now, shall we have and Antique? Whose head do you carry upon your shoulders, that you jole it so against the post? Is't for your ease? or have you seen the S llor? Where are my slippers sir? Where Sir? have you God the pot verdugo? have you seen the horses Sir? Have they any meat? And no provender? You are merry Sir, and why so? Why? Come Sir, the truth of your discovery. What of that Sir? Si you belly the house. I am glad on't Sir: for if it had proved stronger, you had been tongue-tide of these commendations. Light me the candle Sir, I'll hear no more. This is the strangest pampered piece of flesh towards fifty, that ever frailty cop't withal, what a trim Lenuoy here she has put upon me: these Women are a proud kind of cat tell, and love this whoreson doing so directly, that they will not stick to make their very skins Bawds to their flesh. Here's dogskin and storax sufficient to kill a H ke: what to do with it, beside nailing it up amongst Irish heads of Teere, to show the mightiness of her palm, I know not: there she is, I must enter into Dialogue. Lady you have lost your glove. It was my meaning Lady to restore it. I had rather wear a Bell. But hark you Mistress, What hidden virtue is there in this glove, that you would have me wear it? Is't good against soar eyes, or will it charm the toothake? Or these read tops, being steeped in white wine soluble, wil't kill the itch? or has it so concealed a providence to keep my hand from bo ds? If it have none of these, and prove no more but a bore glove of half a crown a pair, 'twill be but half a courtesy, I wear two always: faith let's draw cuts, one will do me no pleasure. What are you? and what business have you here? Prithee what a to thou? Art thou no more? This is a fine fellow. This fellow with his bluntness Hope's to do more then the long suits of a thousand could: though he be sour he's quick I must not trust him. Sir, this Lady is not to speak with you, she is more serious: you smell as if you were new ralkt; go and be handsome, and then you may fit with her Serving men. Guess by my outside. And will that one life Sir maintain you ever in such bold sauciness? That you shall not neither. Good angry thing I'll tell you: This is no place for such companions, Such lousy Gentlemen shall find their business Better i'th the Suburbs; there your strong pitch presume, Mingled with lees of Ale, shall re ke in fashion: This is no Thames street Sir. You will not sure. Sir you shall see that: will you get you out? This uncivil sellow: He says he comes from sea, where I believe Has purged away his manners. Why he will rudely, without once God bless you, Press to your privacies, and no de all Must stand betwixt your person and his business; I let go his ill language. You must have it. Would you have spoke with me Maddame? This is a sudden passion, God hold it. This fellow out of his fear sure ha Persuaded her, I'll give him a new suit on't. I am in another world. Maddame where you please. Mistress I am You have so overjoyed me Lady. By this light you love me extremely. Come, come, you cannot hide it. I Like this mirth well Lady I must kiss you. Indeed I must. Are you in earnest? Do not you love me then? It is a good one Lady. Me thinks yours is none of the best Lady. Come, pray no more of this. I have too much of that, I thank you Lady: take your Chamber when you please, there goes a black one with you Lady. You have made me one. Farewell: and may the curse of a great house fallen upon thee, I mean the Butler. The Worser well and all h S works are in these women: would all of my sex were of my mind, I would make um a new Lent, and a long one, that flesh might be in more reverence with them. So am I, that you are here. I should have been undone then. pray leave me, and look to your sweet meats: hark, your Lady calls. You're nothing but offence: for Gods love leave me. To send you to me. pray go stitch, good do, you're more trouble to me then a Term. A thousand ways, a thousand ways: sweet creature let me depart in peace. A hundred I think by your noise. Of a roasted horse. A Dog can do it better. Farewell Countess, and commend me to your Lady: tell her she's proud, and scurvy; and so I commit you both to your tempter. Avoid old Satanus: Go daub your ruins, your face looks fouler then a storm: the footcman stays you in the Lob by Lady. As fit as they were made for ye: Sirrah, my horses. Fare well old Adage, keep your nose warm, the Reume will make it horn else. By your leave Sir. You must Sir. I am that gentleman you plea worser to wrong, in your disgu see I have inquired you out. In such a Ladies house Sir: I needs not name her. If you remember this, do not forget how scuruyly you used me: that was no place to quarrel in, pray you think of it: If you be honest you dare fight with me, without more viging, else I must provoke ye: I ask you mercy Sir, you have taken my edge off: yet I wou worser feign be even with this Lady. I care not which I have. Why very well, so long as I may please You my deer Lover: I nor can, nor will Be ill when you are well, well when you are ill. Alas my love, wha God hath done, I dare not think to mend: I use no paint, nor any drugs of Art, my hands and face will show it. I thank you, as unknown, for your good wish. The Like to you, when ever you shall wed. I would not willingly offend at all: Much less a lady of your worthy parts. Oh Sir believe not this: for heaven so comfort me as I am free from foul pollution with any man: my honour taken away, I am no woman. For all things else I would, but for mine honour: Me thinks. I humbly thank you. Oh my heart. Why very well, if you be so. I see you go, as sliely as you think to steal away: yet I will pray for you; All blessings of the world light on you two, that you may live to be and aged pair. All curses on me if I do not speak what I do wish indeed. Now God forbid, Alas I was unworthy, so I told him. So would not I: No let me suffer truly, that I desire. My humble thanks: God grant I may but live to quit your love. No harm I warrant thee. Why e'ne with that: 'tis a good one, thou canst not find a better: look upon all the faces thou shalt see there, and you shall find um smooth still, fair still, sweet still, and to your thin king honest: those have done as much as you have yet, or dare do Mistress, and yet they keep no stir. I'll watch you for that Mistress: I am no fool, here will I arry till the house be up and witness with me. To bed again if you please, else I am fixed here, till there be notice taken what I am, and what I have done: If you could juggle me into my womanhood again, & so cog me out of your company, all this would be forsworn, and I again and asinego, as your Sister left me. No, I'll have it known and publis to; then if you'll be a whore, forsake me, & be shamed: & when you can hold out no longer, ma ry some cast Cleve Captain, and fell Bottle-ale. Go in, I'll make up all. Twenty to one I had. Yes, to bring. I have had my partly on't: I have been chafed this three hours, thats the least, I am reasonable cool now. He that fares well, and will not bless the founders, is ei there surfeited, or ill taught, Lady: for mine own partly, I have found so sweet a diet, I can commend it, though I cannot spare it. Is she fast? Then you may lure her without fear of losing: take off her Cranes. You have a delicate Gentlewoman to your sister: Lord what a pretty fury she was in, when she perceived I was a man: but I thank God I satisfied her scruple, without the Par son o'th town. Maddame, can you tell what we did? I thank you Lady, me thought it was well, You are so curious. Sir, I shall long to love him. Oh good Sir let me know him presently. Sir I shall do you service. Stranger and Stranger! Sir you shall find sport after a day or two. Sir Roger, what will you take to lie from your sweet heart to night? A whoreson, how he swells. I am gone. As I would use you, scurvily. Have you forgotten me?