WIFE

Husband, husband. Hold thy peace Rafe, I know what I do I warrant tee. Husband, husband. Let him kill a Lion with a pestle husband, let him kill a Lion with a pestle. Husband, shall I come up husband? By your leave Gentlemen all, Im'e something trou blesome, Im'e a stram ̄ her here, I was never at one of these plays as they say, before; but I should have seen Jane Shore once, and my husband hath promised me any time this Twelvemonth to carry me to the Bold Beauchams, but in truth he did not, I pray you bear with me. Husband, husband, for Gods sake let Rafe play him, beshrew me if I do not think he will go beyond them all. I pray you youth let him have a suit of reparrell, Il'e be sworn Gentlemen, my husband tells you true, he will act you sometime at our house, that all the neighbours cry out on him: he will fetch you up a couraging partly so in the garret, that we are all as feared I warrant you, that we quake again: we'll fear our chlidren with him if they be never so unruly, do but cry, Rafe comes, Rafe comes to them, and they'll be as Quiet as Lambs. Hold up thy head Rafe, show the Gentlemen what thou canst do, speak a huf fing partly, I warrant you the Gentlemen will accept of it. Nay Gentlemen, he hath played before, my husband says, Musidorus before the Wardens of our Company. I warrant our Rafe will look finely when he's dressed. Fit you merry all Gentlemen, Im'e bold to fit a amongst you for my ease. I faith Gentlemen Il'e give my word for Rafe. Let'em brew and bake too husband, a Gods name, Rafe will find all out I warrant you, and they were older then they are, I pray my pretty youth is Rafe ready. Now I pray you make my commendations unto him, and withal carry him this stick of Licoras, tell him his Mistress sent it him, and bid him bite a piece, it'll open his pipes the better, say. Husband, I prithee sweet lamb tell me one thing, But tell me truly: stay youths I beseech you, till I question my husband. Sirrah, didst thou ever see a prettier child? how it behaves it self, I warrant ye, and speaks, and looks, and pearts up the head? I pray you brother, with your favour, were you never none of M. Monkesters scholars? I when Rafe comes conny; well my youth, you may proceed A whoreson tyrant has been and old stringer in's days I warrant him. There's a kind Gentleman, I warrant you, when will you do as much for me George? By my faith and troth George, and as I am virtue ous, it is e'ne the kindest young man that ever trod on shoe leather, well, go thy ways if thou hast her not, it's not thy fault in-faith. That's my good lamb George, fie, this stinking Tobacco kills men, would there were none in England, now I pray Gentlemen, what good does this stinking Tobacco? do you nothing, I warrant you make chimneys a your faces: oh husband, husband, now, now, there's Rafe, there's Rafe. Faith husband and Rafe says true, for they say the King of Portugal cannot fit at his meat, but the Giants & the Ettins will come and snatch it from him, Nay, I dare swear thou wilt not forget thy old Trade, thou Wertenberg ever meek. This is very fine, faith, do the Gentlemen Like Rafe, think you, husband? Faith, & Rafe told him on't before, all the Gentlemen herd him, did he not Gentlemen, did not Rafe tell him on't? That's a good boy, see, the little boy can hit it, by my troth it's a fine child. Rafe, Rafe. I prithee come again quickly sweet Rafe. I faith it's a fine spoken child. Ungracious child I warrant him, hark how he chops logic with his mother: thou hadst best tell her she lies, do tell her she lies. It's a foolish old man this: is not he George? Give me a penny i'th purse while I live George. No indeed mistress Merrithought, though he be a notable gallows, yet Il'e assure you his master did turn him away, even in this place 'twas Faith within this half hour, about his daughter, my husband was by. I George, but yet truth is truth. Il'e be sworn he's a merry old Gentleman for all that. Hark, hark husband, hark, fiddles, fiddles; now sure lie they go finely. They say, it's present death for these fiddlers to tune their Rebecks before the great Turks grace, is't not George? But look, look, here's a youth dances: now good youth do a turnea'th toe, sweet heart, Faith I'll have Rafe come and do some of his Gambols; he'll ride the wild mare Gentlemen, 'twould do your hearts good to see him. I thank you kind youth, pray bid Rafe come. George, dost thou think in thy conscience now'twil be a match? tell me but what thou thinkest sweet rogue, thou seest the poor Gentleman (deer heart) how it labours and throbs I warrant you, to be at rest: Il'e go move the father fort. Il'e buss thee for that faith boy; well George, well, you have been a wag in your days I warrant you: but God forgive you, and I do with all my heart. Gods blessing a thy soul old man, faith thou art loath to partly true hearts, I see, a has her Georg, & I'm as glad on't, well, go thy ways Humphrey, for a fair spoken man, I believe thou hast not thy fellow within the walls of London, & I should say the Suburbs too, I should not lie, why dost not rejoice with me George? I cannot tell, I would have Ralph, George; I'll see no more elseindeed-law, & I pray you let the youths understand so much by word of mouth, for I tell you truly, I'm afraid a my boy, come, come George, let's be merry and wise, the child's a fatherless child, and say they should put him into a straight pair of Gaskins, 'twere worse then knotgrass, he would never grow after it. How do you Ralph? you are welcome Ralph, as I may say, it's a good boy, hold up thy head, and be not afraid, we are thy friends Ralph, the Gentlemen will praise thee Ralph, if thou plaist thy partly with audacity, begin Ralph a Gods name. I marry Rafe, this has some savour in't, I would see the proudest of them all offer to carry his books after him. But George, I will not have him go away so soon, I shall be sick if he go away, that I shall; Call Rafe again George, call Rafe again, I prithee sweet heart let him come fight before me, and let's would some drums, and some trumpets, and let him kill all that comes near him, and thou lovest me George. And so they may faith, for I dare speak it boldly, the twelve Companies of London cannot match him, timber for timber, well George, and he be not inveigled by some of these paltry Players, I would much marvel, but George we would done our parts if the boy have any grace to be thankful. Oh husband here's Ralph again, stay Ralph let me speak with thee, how dost thou Ralph? art thou not shrod lie hurt? the soul great Lungeis laid unmercifully on thee, there's some sugarcandy for thee, proceed, thou shalt have another bout with him. Well said Ralph, George, Ralph was ever comforta ble, was he not? I shall never forget him, when we had lost our child, you know, it was strayed almost, alone, to Puddle-wharf and the Criers were abroad for it, and there it had drowned it self but for a Sculler, Ralph was the most comfortablest to me: peace Mistress, says he, let it go, I'll get you another as good, did he not George? did he not say so? Why George, shall Ralph beat no body again? pre thee sweetheart let him. Oh George here's master Humphery again now, that lost Mistress Luce, and Mistress Lucy's father, Master Hum phery will do somebodies errant I warrant him. Look George, how sayest thou by this George? is't not a fine old man? Now Gods blessing a'thy sweet lips. When wilt thou be so merry George? Faith thou art the frowningst little thing when thou art angry, in a Country. How dost thou Like this George? The Fiddlers go again husband. No good George, lets would Lachrimae. It's all the better George: now sweet lamb, what story is that painted upon the cloth? the confutation of Saint Paul? Ralph and Lucrece? which Ralph? our Ralph? A Tartarian? well, I'wood the fiddlers had done, that we might see our Ralph again. Away George, away, raise the watch at Ludgate, and bring a Mittimus from the Justice for this desperate villain. Now I charge you Gentlemen, see the Kings peace kept. Oh my heart what a varlet's this to offer manslaughter upon the harmless Gntlewoman? So, down with him, down with him, down with him: cut him i'th leg boys, cut him i'th leg. Is a gone George? Marry and let him go (sweet heart,) by the faith a my body a has put me into such a fright, that I tremble (as they say) as 'twere and Aspine leaf: look a my little singer George, how it shakes: now I truth every member of my bo die is the worse for't. Oh Rafe, how dost thou Rafe? how hast thou slept to night? has the knight used thee well? George, I pray thee tell me, must Rafe pay twelve shil lings now? Oh is't nothing else? Rafe will be as merry as he. Look George, did not I tell thee as much, the Knight of the Bel is in earnest, Ralph shall not be beholding to him, give him his money George, and let him go snickvp. I would you should know it, Ralph has friends that will not suffer him to be captain for ten times so much, and tea times to the end of that, now take thy course Ralph. Give him thy hand George, do, and I'll kiss him, I warrant thee the youth means plainly. Oh George, the Giant, the Giant, now Ralph for thy life. To him, Ralph to him, hold up the Giant, set out thy leg before Ralph. Beare't off, beare't of still; there boy, Oh Raphe's all most down, Ralph's almost down. Up, up, up, up, up, so Ralph, down with him, down with him Ralph. This is the first wise word I herd the Squire speak. Good Ralph relieve sir Pock-hole and send him away, for, In, his breath stinks, But will not Ralph kill this Giant, surely I am afeard if he let him go he will do as much hurt, as ever he did. I George if he could convert him, but a Giant is not so soon converted as one of us ordinary people: there's a pretty tale of a Witch, that had the devils mark about her, God bless us, that had a Giant to her son, that was called Lob-lie-by-the-fire, didst never here it George? He's not in earnest, I hope George, is he? Marry if he be George, I'll make bold to tell him he's and Ingrant old man, to use his bedfellow so scurvily. Marry come up sir saucebox, I think you'll take his partly, will you not? Lord how hight you are grown: you are a fine man and you had a fine dog, it becomes you sweetly. I cry you mercy then George; you know we are all frail, and full of infirmities. Dee hear M r . Merry-thought, may I crave a word with you? I had not thought in truth, M r . Merrithought, that a man of your age and discretion (as I may say) being a Gen tleman, and therefore known by your gentle conditions, could have used so little respect to the weakness of his wife: for your wife is your own flesh, the staff of your age, your yokefellow, with whose help you draw through the mire of this transitory world: Nay, she's your own rib. And again— Marry with a vengeance. I am heartily sorry for the poor gentlewoman: but if I were thy wife, Faith graybeard, Faith— Give me such words that am a gentlewoman born, hang him hoary rascal. Get me some drink George, I am almost melted with fretting: now beshrew his knaves heart for it. Come George, where's the beer? This old fornicating fellow will not out of my mind yet; Gentlemen, Il'e begin to you all, and I desire more of your acquaintance, with all my heart. Fill the Gentlemen some beer George. Look George, the little boy's come again, me thinks he looks something Like the prince of Orange in his long stocking, if he had a little harness about his neck. George I will have him dance Fading; Fading is a fine Jig Il'e assure you Gentlemen: begin brother, now a capers sweet heart, now a turn a'th toe, and then tumble: cannot you tumble youth? Nor eat fire? Why then I thank you heartily, there's two pence to buy you points withal. Go thy ways, thou art as crooked a sprig as ever grew in London; I warrant him he'll come to some naughty end or other: for his looks say no less: Beside, his father (you know George ) is none of the best, you herd him take me up Like a flirt Gill, and sing baudy songs upon me: but I faith if I live George — Do my good George, do. George let Rafe travel over great hills, & let him be we ry weary, and come to the King of Cracovia's house, covered with velvet, and there let the Kings daughter stand in her window all in beaten gold, combing her golden locks with a comb of Ivory, and let her spy Rafe, and fallen in love with him, and come down to him, and carry him into her father's house, and then let Rafe talk with her. Now we shall see fine doings I warrant tee George. Oh here they come; how prettily the king of Cracuioa's daugh ter is dressed. I commend Rafe yet that he will not stoop to a Craconjan, there's properer women in London then any are there Iwis. But here comes Master Humphrey and his love again now George. Ah old Merry-thought, art thou there again, let's here some of thy songs. Let him go George, a shall not have any count nance from us, nor a good word from any i'th' Company, if I may strike stroke in't. This will bebraue faith, George shall not he dance the morrice too for the credit of the Strand. Look George, his very Ghost would have folks beaten. George call Rafe hither, if you love me call Rafe him there, I have the bravest thing for him to do George; prithee call him quickly. Rafe I would have thee call all the youths together in battle-ray, with drums, and guns, and flags, and march to Mile end in pompous fashion, and there exhort your Souldi ers to be merry and wise, and to keep their beards from burr ning Rafe, and then skirmish, and let your flags fly, and cry kill, kill, kill: my husband shall lend you his Jerkin Rafe, and there's a scarf; for the rest, the house shall furnish you, and we'll pay for't: do it bravely Rafe, and think before whom you perform, and what person you represent. It's well spoken I faith; go thy ways, thou art a spark indeed. Hark George the drums. Be thankful for it George, for indeed it's wonder full. 'Twas well done Rafe, Il'e send thee a cold Capon a field, and a bottle of March-beer; and it may be, come my self to see thee. Well said Ralph, do your obeisance to the Gentle men and go your ways, well said Ralph. I by my faith are they Rafe, let they say what they will, they are indeed, our Knights neglect their possessions well enough, but they do not the rest. I'll besworne will they Rafe, they have called me so and hundred times about a scurvy pipe of Tobacco. They go finely by my troth. I do not Like that this unthrifty youth should em becill away the money; the poor Gentlewoman his mother will have a heavy heart for it God knows. But let him go, I'll tell Ralph a tale in's ear shall fetch him again with a Wanion I warrant him, if he be above ground, and beside George, here are a number of sufficient Gentlemen can witness, and my self, and your self, and the Musicians, if we be called in question, but here comes Ralph, George, thou shalt here him speak, and he were and Emperall. This young Jasper will prove me another Things, a my conscience and he may be suffered; George, dost not see George how a swaggers, and flies at the very heads a fokes as he were a Dragon ̄ ; well if I do not do his lesson for wronging the poor Gentleman, I am no true woman, his friends that brought him up might have be better occupied, I wis, then would taught him these fegaries, he's e'ne in the highway to the gallows, God bless him. Come hither Master Humfrey, has he hurt you? now beshrew his fingers for't, here sweet heart, here's some green ginger for thee, now beshrew my heart but a has pep per-nel in's head, as big as a pullets egg, alas sweet lamb, how thy Tempels beat; take the peace on him sweet heart, take the peace on him. I, and beat him well, he's and unhappy boy. I Ralph he beat him unmercifully, Ralph, and thou sparest him Ralph I would thou Wertenberg hanged. Break's pate Ralph, break's pate Ralph, soundly. Run Ralph, run Ralph, run for thy life boy, Jasper comes, Jasper comes. Sure the devil, God bless us, is in this Springald, why George, didst ever see such a firedrake, I am afraid my boie's miscarried, if he be, though he were Master Merry-thoughts son a thousand times, if there be any Law in England I'll make some of them smart for't. That same Dwarf's a pretty boy, but the Squire's a grout-nole. George I would have something done, and I can not tell what it is. I thought he would tell him. George, what wilt thou say with me now, that Master Humphery has not Mistress Luce yet, speak George, what wilt thou lay with me? Nay George, you must consider Mistress Lucy's feet are tender, and, beside, it's dark, and I promise you tuely, I do not see how he should get out of Uva im forest with her yet. I will not lay against Ralph honey, because I have not spoken with him, but look George, peace, here comes the merry old Gentleman again. Mark this George, 'tis worth noting: Godfrry my Tailor, you know, never sings, and he had fourteen yards to make this Gown, and I'll be sworn Mistress Pen nistone the Drapers wife had one made with twelve. Faith and those chilblains are a foul trouble, Mi stress Merry-thought when your youth comes home let him rub all the soles of his feet, and the heals, and his ankles, with a mouse skin, or if none of your people can catch a mouse, when he goes to bed, let him roll his feet in the warm embers, and I warrant you he shall be well, and you may make him put his fingers between his toes & smell to them, it's very sovereign for his head if he be costive. George, dost think Ralph will confound the Giant? Faith and that Ducth-man was a goodly man, if all things were answerable to his bigness, and yet they say there was a Scotsh-man higher then he, and that they two and a Knight met, and saw one another for nothing, but of all the sights that ever were in London, since I was married, me thinks the little child that was so fair grown about the members was the prettiest, that, and the Hermophrodite. Nineveh, Oh that was the story of Joan and the Wall, was it not George? Look George, here comes Mistress Merry-thought again, and I would have Ralph come and fight with the Giant, I tell you true, I long to see't. Mastresse Merry-thought if it please you to refrain your passio ̄ a little, till Ralph have dispatch the Giant out of the way we shalthink our selves much bound to you, I thank you good Mistress Merry-thought. I thank you little youth, feth the child hath a sweet breath George, but I think it be troubled with the worms, Carduus Benedictus and Mares milk were the only thing in the world for't, Oh Ralph's here George, God send thee good luck Ralph. There boy, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, Ralph. Alas poor Knight, relieve him Ralph, relieve poor Knights while you live. Hark George, what a woeful cry there is, I think some woman lies in there. I George, I see it well enough. Gentlemen I thank you all heartily for gracing my man Rafe, and I promise you you shall see him oftener. I George, but it is well as it is, I warrant you the Gentlemen do consider what it is to overthrow a giant: but look George, here comes mistress Merry-thought and her son Michael; now you are welcome mistress Merry- thought, now Rafe has done you may go on. Now good husband let him come out and die. Nay by my faith George, I have more manners then so, I'll speak to these Gentlemen first: I thank you all Gentlemen, for your patience and countenane to Ralph, a poor fatherless child, and if I might see you at my house, it should go hard, but I would have a pottle of wine and a pipe of Tobacco for you, for truly I hope you do Like the youth, but I would be glad to know the truth: I refer it to your own discretions, whither you will applaud him or no, for I will wink, and while you shall do what you will, I thank you with all my heart, God give you good night; come George. Il'e be sworn husband, thats as good a name as can be.