HUMPHREY

I thank you sir, Indeed I thank you sir, and ere I stir It shall be known, how ever you do deem, I am of gentle blood and gentle seem. Sir my friend, Although, as Writers say, all things have end, And that we call a pudding, hath his two Oh let it not seem strange I pray to you, If in this bloody simile, I put My love, more endless, then frail things or gut. I take your gentle offer and withal Yield love again for love reciprocal. Fair Mistress Luce, how do you, are you well? Give me your hand and then I pray you tell, How does your little sister, and your brother? And whither you love me or any other. So they are. Where women are not cruel: but how far Is it now distant from this place we are in, Unto that blessed place your father's warren. Even that face For stealing Rabbets whilom in that place, God Cupid, or the Keeper, I know not whither Unto my cost and charges brought you thither, And there began. Let no game, Or any thing that tendeth to the same. Be evermore remembered, thou fair killer For whom I sat me down and brake my Tiller. So would I. Unless you had more maw to do me good. Oh no, my valiant love will batter down Millions of Constables, and put to flight, Even that great watch of Midsummer day at night. Yield then, I am full Of pity, though I say it, and can pull Out of my pocket, thus, a pair of gloves, Look Lucy, look, the dogs tooth, nor the Doves Are not so white as these; and sweet they be, And whipped about with silk, as you may see. If you desire the price, suit from your eye, A beam to this place, and you shall espy F. S. which is to say, my sweetest honey, They cost me three and two pence, or no money. Nor so, nor so, for Lady I must tell, Before we partly, for what we met together, God grant me time, and patience, and fair weather. I shall, then first and foremost for relief I call to you, I if that you can afford it, I care not at what price, for on my word, it Shall be repaid again, although it cost me More then I'll speak of now, for love hath tossed me, In furious blanket Like a Tennis ball, And now I rise aloft, and now I fallen. I thank you heartily, and as I say, Thus do I still continue without rest, I'th' morning Like a man, at night a beast, Roaring and bellowing mine own disquiet, That much I fear, forsaking of my diet, Will bring me presently to that quandary, I shall bid all adeiw: The Worshipful your sire will not deny me. For I have asked him, and he hath replied, Sweet Master Humfrey, Luce shall be thy Bride. And so am I In. Stay Nymph, stay, I have a double Gelding culored bay, Sprung by his father from Barbarian kind, Another for my self, though somewhat blind, Yet true as trusty tree. Though I die, I am resolved to venture life and limb, For one so young, so fair, so kind, so trim. Father, it's true, in arms I never shall clasp her, For she is stolen away by your man Jasper. Nothing. So it were beshrew me, Then ease me lusty Luce, and pity show me. The cause you seem to ask, I thus declare, Help me o Muses nine, your daughter swear A foolish oath, the more it was the pity, Yet none but my self within this City, Shall dare to say so, but a bold defiance Shall meet him, were he of the noble Science. And yet she swear, and yet why did she swear? Truly I cannot tell, unless it were For her own ease, for sure sometime and oath, Being sworn thereafter is Like cordial broth. And this it was she swore, never to marry, But such a one, whose mighty arm could carry (As meaning me, for I am such a one) Her bodily away through stick and stone, Till both of us arrive, at her request, Some ten miles off, in the wild Uvaltham Forest. Goodnight, twenty good-nights, & twenty more. And 20 more good-nights, that makes threescore. Good Mistress Luce how ever I in fault am For your lame horse; you're welcome unto Uvaltham. But which way now to go or what to say I know not truly till it be broad day. Then up and ride, Or if it please you walk for your repose, Or fit, or if you will go pluck a rose: Either of which shall be indifferent, To your good friend and Humphrey, whose consent Is so entangled ever to your will, As the poor harmless horse is to the Mill. It's better in the Town, Where we may nap together, for believe me To sleep without a snatch would much grieve me. Faith it may be, Unless it were by chance I did beray me. If it be so, my friend, you use me fine, What do you think I am? A word of obloquy, now by Gods body, I'll tell thy master for I know thee well. Oh sir I have it, And do confess the payment, pray be quiet. When I came hither, Would I had gone to Paris with John Dorrie. Farewell, The Devils Dam was never so banged in hell. Sir I am no Knight, But a poor Gentleman, that this same night, Had stolen from me on yonder Green, My lovely wife, and suffered to be seen Yet extant on my shoulders such a greeting, That while I live, I shall think of that meeting. Here comes the Broker hath purloined my treasure. Nay, and my noble Knight be down so soon, Though I can scarely go I needs must run. Father forgive me, shall I tell you true, Look on my shoulders they are black and blue. While too and from fair Luce and I were winding, He came and basted me with a hedge binding. I know the place, where he my loins did swaddle, I'll get six horses, and to each a saddle. There, there he stands with sword Like martial knight Drawn in his hand, therefore beware the fight You that be wise: for were I good sir Bevis, I would not stay his coming, by your leaves. I see this love you speak of, through your daughter, Although the hold be little; and hereafter Will yield the Like in all I may, or can, Fitting a Christian, and a gentleman. I would you would i'saith, for be it known I ever was afraid to lie alone. Three days, let me see, It's somewhat of the most, yet I agree, Because I mean against the appointed day, To visit all my friends in new array. Right worshipful, and my beloved friend And father deer, this matters at and end. Nay she must whirl From hence, and you must wink: for so I say, The storietels, to morrow before day. I must, I must, and thus it is agreed, Your daughter rides upon a brown-bay steed, I on a sorrel, which I bought of Brian, The honest Host of the read roaring Lion In Uvaltham situate: then if you may Consent in seemly sort, lest by delay, The fatal sisters come and do the office, And then you'll sing another song. Truly Ime glad your forces have the day. It were indeed, but shall I tell you why, I have been beaten twice about the lie. Father, my bride is gone, fair mistress Luce, My soul's the fount of vengeance, mischiefs sluice. Hold my father deer, For Luce thy daughters sake, that had no peer. What shall I do? I have been beaten twice, And mistress Luce is gone? help me device: Since my truelove is gone, I never more, While I do live, upon the sky will poor; But in the dark will wear out my shoe-soles In passion, in Saint Faiths Church under Pauls. I'll be your Usher boy, for though I say it, He owed me something once, and well did pay it. So I am, And have be ever merry from my Dam.