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Full speech
Br there, why do you not read to my father? Well, I'll keep the ̄ for thee till thou come to my house. Why (you base slave) take you me for your fellow? Why, I am of good reputation in the city, And held in account with the best. 'Tis strange to see how men of our knowledge live, And how we are hated of the baser sort, Because (forsooth) we live upon our wit: But let the baser sort think as they will, For he may best he termed a Gentleman, That when all fails, can live upon his wit. And if all fails, then have I God a wench, That cuts and deals, to maintain my expense, Now I use her, as men use sweetest flowers, That while they are sweet and pleasant to the eye, I do regard them for their pleasant smell: But when their colour fades, and sent decays, I cast them off for men to trample on: But to the purpose, here is the Gentleman My honest friend did lately tell me of. Sir, though I had another business of import, That might have hindered me for coming here, Yet in regard I am loath to break my word, I have set my other business clean apart, Because you should not judge amiss of me, How say you sir, my conscience, then you touch me, I tell you sir, my conscience will serve me to do more than this: Why, I have be a post knight in Westminster this xii. year, And sworn to that which no one else would venture on. Why, I have sworn against mine own father for money: I have sworn right or wrong any ways for money, when ̄ I have rereiued money before witness, I swore to the continued ̄ trary And do you misdoubt me in so sleight a matter as this, When I have sworn against father, mother and all my kin? I sir, fear not, I warrant you, is that your adversary? What and old crust it is? No sir? but I saw you, and was a witness, When this Gentlema ̄ paid you three hundred pound As the last payment for the farm he bought. Sir, as concerning the conveyance, I assure you 'tis so good And he hath such good interest in it, That were I furnished with so much money presently, No man in the world should have it but my self, And for my own partly, yuu need not suspect me, For I would not discredit my self for a thousand pound, For the Gentleman n is my very friend, And being in some want, is inforced to pawn land. For the supplying of a present necessity. Tush, the interest is good, I warrant you. Nay, stay and dine with me: I must fetch him oh ver for all his gold. Hear you sir, was not this bravely done? I thank you sir: do you hear Sir, you have God a thousand pound by the bargain: but much good may it do you. Good Honesty be more merciful. Nay, it will not be long ere he come, For the conveyance was made ere I came from the scriuenars, And in good time, here he comes, God save you sir, Here is the man I told you of, that would lend you the money, He is a very honest man, and but for my sake I know He would not do it, but is the land dispatched another way: If you be ready to seal, he is ready with the money, H are you (sir) you have a good bargain, dispatch it quickly. Why so, 'tis and ill wind blews no man to profit And he is but a fool that when all fails cannot live upon his wit, I have attired my self like a very civil citizen, To draw four score pound from a couple of fools, A Gentleman having made over his land by deed of gift, Means to cousin a broker with a false conveyance: Al's one to me, I shall lose nothing by the bargain, But here comes the Broker, I will walk as I regarded him not Then (father) thus live I that use me wit, Unto my self I love still to be wise, For when I am driven to shift for meat or coin, Or gay apparel to maintain me brave, Then do I flaunt it out about the change, As if I were some landed Gentleman, And falling in with some rich merchant there, I take commodities for six months day, The bill being made, I must set to my hand, Then if I pay not, they may burn the band. Nay, I have not forgotten that my father was a Bai lief, A man that would live to himself. And yet in faith, he gave me nothing at his death, But good counsel, how to live in the world. But sirrah, as thou knowest me, I pray thee bewray me not, And in any thing I can, command me. I sir, and to that intent I came hither, For I will never refuse to swear a truth while I live Tush, tell me what it is: I'll do it, I warrant thee. Tush, if this be all, let me alone. I will do it. Why, 'tis nothing for me to swear, For I am forsworn already, but when is the day? I will not miss, till that time fare well. At the Gentleman's house. By the holy contents of this Bible, And by that joust God, before whom I stand, I saw this man, I thank you sir, God bwy: n w to my welshman: Sirrah, let me see thy piece of gold, I'll tell thee whither it be weight or no? Hast thou any more, I'll give thee white many for it. Indeed my father in his life time was a man, Given to the fear of God, and to use much devotion. But where shall I meet you?
Plot summary
Plot — A Knack to Know a Knave
. . Concerned for the good order of his kingdom, King Edgar commissions Honesty to seek out and expose knaves. The dying Bailiff of Hexham advises his four sons to live by fraud and deceit in their various: professions, and to enrich themselves at the expense of the commonweal and the poor..He dies and is carried off by the devil. While Edgar deals with the case of 1592 Philarchus, a courtier who has abused his father, Honesty observes the corrupt dealings of the Bailiff’s sons: Cuthbert, a cony-catcher, who bears false witness in an attempt to take possession of a farm; Walter, a farmer, who oppresses his neighbours and exports corn to feed the enemy; John, a priest, who refuses to give to charity; and Perin, a courtier, who misuses the royal seal and sells Walter an export licence for his corn under pretext of raising revenues for the crown. Meanwhile honest members of the state, from knight to ploughman, complain of their economic decline. Edgar sends Ethenwald to woo Alfrida by proxy, but Ethenwald falls in love with her himself and marries her. The King forgives him and visits the couple (receiving a petition from the mad men of Gotham on the way), but the jealous Ethenwald is convinced that Edgar plans to cuckold him, and has Alfrida and the kitchen maid swap identities during the royal visit. An outraged Edgar sees through the subterfuge and plans to take revenge, but Bishop Dunstan, with the help of the devil, persuades him to pardon Ethenwald instead. Honesty exposes the various knaves he has observed, and, with royal permission, sentences them all to gruesome and unusual punishments.