SUCKABUS

Illo ho, ho Illo. So ho, ho; Mother, Mother. Ale? no mother; I am neither in Ale nor Beer, Nor no such graine-tub, peasanticall Element: My Hogshead runs Alegant, and your Nursling broached it. Mother, no more such words, my blood's up, And I am apt for Rebellion; and you know A Soldiers Latin for the Lie, is the stab. O Lord, help me George, George, nursling George. Hold your hand Mother, I have no mind to be made a Buzzard, nor fly Like and Owl i'th' air, or mount Like a Kite over Towns and Cities for carrion, without any by ding place. Where my father is I know not, but the Like ness of our persons shows me a Big of your own farrow. You may be the Devil for ought I know, For you are neither Like my Mother, nor me. Why now I am satisfied; could not you have said this before, Pray father, pray the devil to bless me, and make me a man Like my mother: So be it. But do you hear Father, if you be a Prince, I must be a Lord, or and Earl, or a devilish Duke, or somewhat. Oh brave, oh brave, Duke of Styx, Sulphur, & Helvetia? Pray father, what Title hath my Mother? I thought so, I told my Mother she looked Like a Witch a great while ago: a pox on't, I knew it: but do you hear mother, were not you one of the Cats that drunk up the Millers Ale in Lancashire Windmills? Must I call George again? Then (I fear) I shall get another broken pate, before I get a plaster for this: for we do nothing in the world but fight; he kills me two or three times in and hour: he plays a Knight in Armour, and I a Lady; that he fights with a great Tree for, and wins me from it: then I play a Giant, and he kills me; then a Boar, and he kills me again; then and enchanted Castle, and then my stones go to 'rack; then a Lion, and then he pulls out my heart. Right, and there he kills me again: But Mother, George is come, I hear his Horn. Alas sir, what to do? I do beseech you sir, have no compassion on me, And let me live with you: There be Cooks enough in hell without me, Their roast-meat is too hight for my fingers, I shall never be able to lick they; I had rather be Your Scullion here, than Cook Ruffian there: I beseech you take pity on me a Motherless child, Let me live with you sir, and Suckabus shall suck Out his own heart to do you any pleasure. O most astonishable hunger! thou that dost pinch worse than any Fairies, or the gums of old women: thou that dost freeze the mortal gouts of a man more than the R zom'd stick of a Base Viol, what shall be said? what shall be done to thee? O my glorious Mother, what a time of eating had I in thy days, nay, my magnanimous Master, whom I lost in the devils arse of Peak: what a plentiful progress had I with thee, when we did nothing but kill Gy ants and wild beasts, then the golden gobbets of Beef and Bacon, whose shining fat would cry clash in spite of my teeth, now I may compare with Ploydens law, the case is all red; A shepherd, a sheepbiter; nay, I were happy then, I would wish no better bitings than Mutton; the Cobs of Herring, and parings of Cheese is now a Sundays diet, and yet they cry out of my abominable feeding, my unsatisfied gut, with a Wolf at the end on't: I have eat up my Tar box for hunger already, what will be next troe? Soft, who comes here, my fellow Swain withsome pitiful provant for my dinner? Here, where the bore bones of him will be very shortly: what hast thou brought me there? Sweet fellow Coridon, give me't, I shall grow a Phi osopher shortly if I fare o'this fashion: Oh the very steam of the three fat Oxen that my Master found boiling for the Giants dinner, which we killed, would have filled both our bellies for a Fortnight. Why there's the wit of a Bell-weather; one? we killed a hundred: but talk I to thee, that Wertenberg never no Tram veller since thou wilt not believe a truth, I'll hold my tongue, and fallen to my teeth. No Iackalents, no Pigmies, no Dwarves. Tush, a Fasting-dais Medicum; but when he makes a Feast to stuff his abominable gut, three hundred Acres of Oats will scarce make Oatmeal to thicken his por ridge-pot. Hell? what should he do there? hee'd piss out their fire, and drown all the devils in his urine. The Guard? Hum, still Like a Bell-weather? why he'll chop up two yeomen of the Guard Like pocht eggs at a spoonful: there's not a meal that he makes, but he will load ye two Dung-carts with the picking of his teeth. Bless thee? why dost thou know what thou speakest? Why as we killed a great many more of they; we rid a Horseback into their bellies, made a Quintin of their hearts, and rod out at the But-hole end. Why, didst thou think the rest were lies? I had more wit i'faith; I deal in no waterworks. His stature? Let me not lie, he was not the biggest that ever we killed, let me tell ye that, he was just about that stature that Tuttle-field would fitly make a Grave for: I have told ye of a place before; it's near London in England, where men go a Training to get they good stomachs. Why Barrels of Beer, bottles of Sack, Costerd mongers, Cakes, and Cream, and their wives that bring they their dinner. The bravest can be picked out in each parish, and the ablest too, yet I herd one man in the shape of a Monster, put a Captain and his Company to slight. Come, no more of that; let me entreat thy absence till I have eat my vittails, and I will tell thee more. Well, say and hold; come master Carret and mistress Turnup, I want but Beef and Pork for sauce to ye, but unger bids me fallen to merrily, and I shall not want for awe. So my panniar's pretty well sussifi'de, and the whelps in my belly muzzeld from barking any more this two hours: How now what proper stripling's this stands Gam ping about him? let me survey him. I cannot for my guts call to mind where I have seen this fellow. But that he had a horse and Armour, he does re semble my long lost Master George of England. The same, the same; I am your servant, and fellow Suckabus: O my sweet Master have we found one another? I could e'ne kiss thee round about for joy. O sir, I have had such a company of Master's in law since I left you: First sir, I served a Lord till he entertained a Cook, and then I must stay no longer: Then I was Gentle man Usher to a young Lady, but she hating new fashions, I hated her service. Then sir, I served a young Heir newly come to his Living, and because he opened his gates, and let Hospitality enter, I bid lanlet to him: then I served a Usum rer, and because he would often be drunk, and let his And gels fly gratis, I gave him the bag too: Then I dwelled with a Procter, and he every day would bid conscience to dinner, so there was no staying with him: Then I served a Scrivener, but he was so taken up with his Orator the Pillary, that I was feign to leave him too; and then I came here a sheep-biting, as you see sir. Follow thee? that I will, till I find no land to tread on, nor water to swim on: Shepherd farewell, Fox, look to the Lambs, Wolf, keep the sheep safe: now shall we kill Giants, and eat meat again. Nay, we are come to wear good cloth again, and we fill our bellies at other folks cost: marry we partly with cracked Crowns for our Ordinaries. They that in the low Countrey-garrisons kill men for three shillings a week, are punies to us; by that time I have served but half my time, I shall be able to play with all the Fencers in Christendom. Leave your prating sir, and then we'll leave our li vings both together. Good Master let's go back again: I do not Like this talking of Elizium; it is a place where good and honest men come in, and for mine own partly, I am in the mind never to trouble it. Ey, two Tailors are a dancing for a buttered bun. I think I hear the Horsehead and the Tongue's. He sees me, and stays a purpose to talk with me: I will put on my mother's good face, and salute him: pray sir, hoping that the Like is the same, Father give me your bles sing. Thank you Father, I have not known my self a long time: but now your blood royal begins to plump up my veins. Have you brought me never a Letter from my Mother Queen? Why that shows now, she's in her Pontificalities, in my kingdom after your decease, she never minds the sweet heir of her body, she casts me backward, as if I were unworthy to be Prince of her joys: but I shall think on't. You talk you know not what; have you no Carri ers in your kingdom? Is Hobson there, or Dawson, or Tom Long? Well, do so Father; And if you find they, send to me by they; they are honest men. Not a Letter? Can Limbonias Queen, and Duchess of Witchfordia so much forget her self, and that royal blood of hers, as not to send a Letter to me? I would you had they, they give much content; O I do love those things a life faith. Have you any squibs in your Country? any Green-men in your shows, and Whi zers upon lines, Jack Pudding upon Rope, or Sis in fireworks? But pray father let me know why you did not send. Forgive me this, and if the obeying of your will, will bring me to you, let me alone; I'll not be long from home: But Father, what, no trick, no invention to make me famous ever I come to you? why, my Mother could juggle as well as any Hocus Pocus i'th'world, and shall I do nothing? O sweet father, now thou lovest thy boy: but you know father, I never was so well learned, as to say God by my speed. Pray read em over to me father. I cannot; do not you see my Master gone before? I am now bound, and must obey, must follow after: You have fried my mother in stekes by this time, And you would have my Lamb stones and sweetbread To inch out your commons. Sfoot I'll set all the prentices in the house about your ears if you strike me, beside the Law my Master shall take of ye; but now I remember Club Law is better: for they love your Angels so well there's no pleading against you. Let me first know, whither I have a mother or no, for mother's have so often belide the child's father, that I am very doubtful whither ever I had any. Nay truly Father I did note something, but I can not say directly what it was. Oh that I were there to leap over one of them. And I am old dog at that 'yfaith. Oh my sweet Mother: Well, I'll but serve my time out, and come home to you: you have stayed me some thing long Father, I must go eat a dish of Trotters to my breakfast, I shall hardly overtake my Master else. As long as my back will hold let me alone. Like a Fury. If ever a Knight of the Post mend me for that, hang me. If Cottington out do me I'll be whipped. I'll take my choice here if you will. It shall be my daily practice Father: Farewell if I see you no more. Father farewell: I were and ungracious boy if I would not obey. Now wenches look to yourselves. Pray Sir lets back again, I have no mind to it, the Sun shines so hight, I fear we shall have some rain. Did not I tell ye? now shall I be roasted for Di vels, and my bones scorched into small-coales: Where's the goodly weather that we had even now? where's the tongue's and the Tailors a dancing. What a gift is here! I will Cuckold the great Turk, love all his Concubines, and lie with all over and oh for: I will beget a thousand of Giants, fill the world full of Basterds, march with and Army Royal of they into my King dome, depose my Father, and live Like a Monarch. O my sweet father, what a man art thou! Ah sirrah, the world is pretty well amended with me now, thanks to my Kingly father, and his Charms, 'twas time for me to leave the domineering Rascal, and his beggarly crew of wanderers, Grooms I may term them, for if they had been Knights they would never have used a Prince amongst they so. I have travailed five times through the world, and not a Town, City, or Burr rough in England but I carried the marks on my shoul dears to show for't. The best days that ever I saw with they, was when we hired Charles Wain, and rid about the elements, that was the best twelve days journey that ever I had: and I remember we had good lodging at the twelve Signs, and nobly used, for they would not take one Penny, and to say the truth we had no money to give: but how we God up, or how the devil we God down again I know not: and then we fell to our old course again, to kill every one that we met: which course I not liking, in regard we must fight for our victuals, I begged this charm of my Father, where hearing of a famous Castle of Brandrons, and what a brave house he kept for Victuals, I out with my Spell, and straight wished me there; which being no sooner uttered, but a Hawk or a Buzard flew betwixt my legs, mounted me in the Air, and set me down here, where I find whole Oxen, boiled in a Pottage-pot will hold more water than the Thames, and now having pretty well stuffed my Pannier, I'll e'ne take a He sleeps. nap, and so wish my self some where else. Oh Lord, what shall become of me? boiled, Oh Lord, the very terror of that word, hath thrust the charm quite from my head, that Charm would save me; o sweet father now or never help me, and save a Prince from boiling, a boiled Prince is his meat else. Oh sweet father, now, now, now I go else, Boiled: o the thought of that word: Oh have't, Sweet Father I thank thee, Has put that Charm into my head Shall make they all in love with me: Now I care not. My foot? no you shall kiss somewhere else, My backside of this hand is yours. As I am a Prince, I was never better pleased in all my life. Now you talk of Music, will you hear me sing? I carry air at both ends of my Pipe, But this is the sweeter: come what shall we do? I Like that Fountain very well, And the three Swans that swims about it: I was wishing for a Goose-pye made Made of one of they but the tother day. Why, what are they? O monstrous, I have herd indeed that wenches have turned pretty Conies, Ducks, or Pigeons; but Swans, Oh brave: Come whither shall we go now love? Here, here, as close as beggary to a Prodigal, I'll never forsake ye I'll warrant. Whats the matter Sir? Go to love, no more such words, No more I say, I know they well enough. You were best tell me I lie: Have you not herd of seven roaring boys, That made such a damnable thunder through the world, Making Gallimafries of all came in their way? These are six of they, and I'm afraid the seventh, And that's my Master, George of England. Do not you fear for all this; What will you say if I betray all these Champions to ye, And bring they all unarmed unto your mercy? Take you no care for that, I'll do't, Give me the keys, and Then when I have God them in Unarmed, if we cannot make our parties good with they, Would you were hanged y'faith. Nay not so hasty neither: my Master does earnest lie desire you, that you would deliver all your weapons to me, for fear of frighting the Ladies; there must no sign of a Soldier now appear, all must be lovers that do enter there. Why now it is as it should be; I'll bring you sweet linen and water to refresh you, and then into your pantables, and pump up the Ladies. I, they are my own, fast locked in a pitfold: But I have stranger news to tell thee than this. After my slight had fetched they in unarmed, And Caged my birds fast under lock and key, I went to fetch some weapons that I left Behind me at the gate porch: where peeping Through a keyhole, by more chance I spied my Master George of England, prancing his steed about the walls. I, and the veriest kill-cow of they all, These are but very punies to him. Nay soft, some wiser than some: he's no such fellow as ye take him for; he may hear me, but he'll see me hanged ere he trust me; for indeed I have been so trusty to him, that he'll be sure to truss, if he catch me. Look how Master George on footback frowns on me, but I care not. As you are gentlemen use not a Prince so hardly: what I have done was merely out of love; because I would have you stayed men, men of biding, to be forth coming, though not every hour coming forth: Master George, for my Queen mother's sake, that killed your father and mother, and kept you in a Cave, have compassion upon me. I thank you sir, and for this life that you have saved, Think it no life, for it is not; you may command, And have it when you please; and I'll be as firm to you As fire in water, as tender as the Fox over the Goose, Or the Wolf over the Lamb; when you are most In any danger, I'll be farthest off from ye; Disobey your commands, and keep your secrets Like a crier, Or any thing else I can do for you. Why any bodies, yours, or the Devils, all's one to them, so they have they: but now the humour has took me to come back; what is your pleasure? Well, I were best run away, while I have legs to carry me: he's a good loving Master, this same honest George, but he does led me into more quarrels and dangers than all the roaring David's in the world; but they are continued wardly rascals, & I will stay no longer, my accounts are made even, and I will back again; hay day, they are at it. Oh brave, that by his likeness and voice should be my Sire Suckabus, it's he; I'll take acquaintance of him. I, I, you say very well Father, it's true indeed, And then watch him asleep, and kindly cut his throat. I hear a rumbling noise, I'll e'ne pack up my trin kets, and begun: O Lord what will become of me! I have wished my self to have my brains beat out. An't please you Sir, I am a Prince, a sweet young Prince, my Father's name is Tarpax, Prince of the grisly North, my mother's name was Calib, Queen of Limbonia, and Duchess of Witchfordia. I flew over the Castle wall. If you will give me leave, you shall see me fly the same way back again. Splagnalis squirtis p mpistis. The Giant in a maze lets fallen his Club. O sweet father, now he's mine sure, and I will domineer. Go too, I'll have my will, my hand is yours I say. As well as I love roast Beef: Hast any victuals love? I am a hungry. Yes, and I am afraid you will know they to your Cost: there's not a man of these, but is able to cope With a whole army. You are not deceived Sir, I'm the very same. Gentlemen, it's no wonder for us that are Cham pions to meet at though world's end: my master's i'th Castle. It's as I tell ye; we saw ye out of a window look about the Castle walls, and laughed heartily at ye, and oh did the Ladies too. Yes faith Ladies: my master hath killed the Giant, a foul great lubberly knave he was I'm sure a that: we had much a do with him ere he fell: but now have we the bravest life with the Ladies, we do nothing but dance with they all day long. You must come up unto my Master presently. Thy worst, I defy thee. What shall I do now? I have been calling to my fa there for help, and he does nothing, but stands and laughs at me, and will not put my charm in my head. Which is the King of Macedon, I pray? I do beseech thy Kingly worship to save my lifs, & I will bring you where your daughters are. Thou powerest fresh blood into our empty veins, And melts the snow that lay upon my heart: Victorious Knights, as much renowned for pity, As for valour, upon my aged knees I beg the life Of this condemned wretch. Why you may hang me then, that's all the care I take. Come follow me, I'll led you a dance. Three whitings they cockle, and set in their luddle, Sing bay Cock without a comb, sing cock a duddle. Look you, do you see those three Swans? these Swans were once the Daughters, Ducks and Darlings to the King of Ma cedon. I'll assure you, the Giant that is dead told me the self same tale, and how he would have done something to they, but having three Eels by the tail they slipped out of his fingers, & flew Like Swans into the golden fountain.