SOGLIARDO

Nay look you Carlo: this is my Humour now; I have land and money, my friends left me well, and I will be a gen tleman whatsoever it cost me. Tut, and I take and humour of a thing once, I am Like your tailors needle, I go through: but, for my name Signior, how think you? will it not serve for a gentleman's name, when the Signior is put to it? Would? Signior Insulso Sogliardo: me thinks it sounds well. Why and for my wealth I might be a Justice of peace. All this is my lordship you see here, and those farms you came by. I know it signior, and if you please to instruct, I am not too good to learn, I'll assure you. Signior, I will both pay you and pray you, and thank you and think on you. Oh admirable rare! he cannot choose but be a gentle man, that ha these excellent gifts: more, more, I beseech you. I warrant you, sir. Oh I'll have a suit only for that sir. Lies! no Signior, I shall not needs to do so, I have kin read i'the itty to talk of: I have a niece is a Merchant's wife; and a nephew, my brother Sordidos son, of the Inns of court. Stay, I do not Like that humour of challenge, it may be accepted: but I'll tell you what's my humour now: I will do this, I will take occasion of sending one of my suits to the Tailors to have the pocket repaired, or so; and there such a letter as you talk of (broke open and all) shall be left: Oh, the Taylor will presently give out what I am upon the rea ding of it: worth twenty of your Gallants. Oh, so I will, and beat him too: I'll have a man for the purpose. Byr Lady that is chargeable Signior, it'll bring a man in debt. As how good Signior? I would feign be a Politician. I perceive you sir, I will take up, and bring my self in credit sure. No? how should I keep them then? That's not so good me thinks. Nay my humour is not for boys, I'll keep men, and I keep any; and I'll give coats, that's my humour: but I lack a Cullisen. Can you sir? By word of mouth I thank you Signior; I'll be once a little prodigal in a Humour in faith, and have a most prodigious Coat. Nay I will examine him before I go sure. Yes sir. Sirrah, who gave you commission to lie in my Lordship? How? my Lordship? do you know me sir? Why, who am I Sir? That fortune favors? how mean you that friend? By my wits? No sir, I scorn to live by my wits, I; I have better means I tell thee, than to take such base courses, as to live by my wits. Sbloud dost thou think I live by my wits? Is he one of your acquaintance? I love him the better for that. Why sir? Is he a Scholar or a Soldior? For Gods sake let's be gone, and he be a Scholar, you know I cannot abide him, I had as leave see a Cockatrice, speci Alley as Cockatrices go now. Signior, now you talk of a Hobbyhorse, I know where one is, will not be given for a brace of angels. Marry sir I am telling this gentleman of a Hobbyhorse, it was my father's indeed, and (though I say it He did dance in it with as good humour and as good regard as any man of his degree whatsoever, being no Gen tleman: I have danced in it my self too. Yes once; marry, that was but to show what a gentle man might do in a Humour. Nay look you Sir, there's never a Gentleman in the country has the Like humours for the Hobbyhorse as I have; I have the Method for the threeding of the needle, the— I, the Leigeritie for that, and the wigh-hie, and the daggers in the nose, and the travels of the egg from finger to finger, all the humours incident to the quality. The horse hangs at home in my parlour, I'll keep it for a monument, as long as I live sure. Mass, and I'll have a tomb (now I think on't) it's but so much charges. Nay I mean so, I'll not trust to them. Signior Carlo. There shall be no love lost Sir, I'll assure you. I am resolute to keep a Page say you sir? Oh, I sir. Faith r in very good sort; he has his humours for it sir as first, (supp see he were now to come from riding, or hunting, or so) he has his trumpet to found, and then the waiting Gen tlewoman, she looks out; and then he speaks, and then she speaks: very pretty I faith Gentlemen. Oh, yes sir: first, the Gentlewoman she looks out at the window. No sir, not before: and then says he; would, would, would, would, &c. Says he; would, would, would, would, &c. Would, would, would, Says he: God save you, would, would, &c. Nay that, that comes after is: would, would, would, would, &c. Lift, lift, they are come from hunting: A cry of hounds within. stand by, close under this Terrace, & you shall see it done better than I can show it. Faith I remember all, but the manner of it is quite out of my head. Ah peace, now above, now above. I, even Like your jig sir. This sir? a poor elder brother of mine sir, a yeoman, may dispend some seven or eight hundred a year: that's his son, my nephew there. I sir, he is a gentleman, though his father be but a yeo man. Marry his name is Fungoso. Oh now, now. Why is Porridge so hurtful, Signior? Come brother, I'll bring you acquainted with Gentle men, & good fellows, such as shall do you more grace, than— Hushed: my Brother sir, for want of education sir, some what nodding to the Boor, the Clown; but I request you in private sir. Nephew? When saw you my Niece? And what news hear you? Your mind is carried away with somewhat else: I ask what news you hear? They say there's a new Motion of the city of Nineveh, with Jonas and the Whale, to be seen at Fleet-bridge? you can tell cousin? I'll see all those devises, and I come to London once. What says my Nephew? That I will: when would you have me do it? presently? I sir, she is my Niece, my brother's daughter here, and my Nephews sister. You shall ha'me at the Heralds office sir, for some week or so, at my first coming up. Come Carlo. Save you good sir Punt arvolo; your Dog's in health sir I see: how now Carlo? Nay I will have him, I am resolute for that, by this Parch meant Gentlemen, I have been so toiled among the Harrots yond der, you will not believe, they do speak i'the strangest lan guage, and give a man the hardest terms for his money, that ever you knew. I'faith, I thank God I can write my self Gentleman now, here's my Patent, it cost me thirty pound by this breath. Nay, it has as much variety of colours in it, as you have seen a Coat have, how Like you the Crest Sir? Marry Sir, it is your Boar without a head Rampant. OI, I have it in writing here of purpose, it cost me two shillings the tricking. GYRONY of eight pieces, AZURE and GULES, between three Plataeae a CHEV'RON engrailed checky, OR, VERT and ERMINES; on a chief ARGENT between two ANN'LETS, ables a Boars head PROPE On a Chief ARGENT, a Boars head PROPER be tween two ANN'LETS ables. How Like you them signior? Oh good cousin, I am a little busy, how do's my niece, I am to walk with a knight here. Troth, and you be Gentlemen, Let's make them friends, and take up the matter between his Rapier and he. I pray you what said he Signior, he's a proper man. I commend him, that can dissemble them so well. In good time sir, nay good sir house your head, do your profess these sleights in Tobacco? You will not serve me sir, will you ̄ I'll give you more than ̄ Countenance. Sir you shall stay and dine with me, and if we can agree, weel not partly in hast: I am very bountiful to men of quali tie. Where shall we go Signior. Sir Puntarvolo. No, for you do not know the Humour of the dog as we do: whereshall we dine Carlo? I would feign go to one of these Ordinaries now I am a Gentleman. No faith, but they say there resorts your most choice gallants. I warrant you, I am resolute, come good Signior, theres a poor French crown for your Ordinary. Save you my deer Gallanto's. nay, come approach, good Cavalier: pr'y thee (sweet Knight) know this Gentleman, he's one that it pleases me to use as my good friend and come panion; and therefore do him good offices: I beseech you Gentles, know him. Why by Jesu, I thank you Knight, and it shall suffice. Hark you Sir Puntarvolo, you'd little think it; he's as reso lute a piece of flesh as any's i'the world. Upon my Gentility sir: Carlo, a word with you; Do you see that same fellow there? Oh, you know him; cry you mercy: before God, I think him the tallest man living within the walls of Europe. Tut, (and 'twere as huge again) I'd justify what I speak. 'Slid he swaggered even now in a place where we were: I never saw a man do it more resolute. Why I tell you Sir, he has been the only Bid-stand that ever was, kept Newmarket, Salisbury Plain, Hockley i'the hold, Gads-Hill; all the high plac S of any Request: he has had his Mares and his Geldings he, have been worth forty, threescore, a hundred pound a Horse, would have sprung you over hedge and ditch Like your Greyhound: he has done five hundred Robberies in his time, more or less, I assure you. Escaped! i'faith I: he has broken the jail when he has been in irons, and irons; and been out, and in again; & out, and in; forty times and not so few, he. Good Pylades discourse a Robbery or two, to satisfy these Gentlemen of thy worth. I, he is my Pylades, and I am his Orestes: how Like you the conceit? Troth that's pretty: how say you Cavalier, shalt be so? Then give hands good Resolution. Monsieur Fastidius, do you see this fellow there? does he not look Like a Clown? would you think there's any thing in him? By this Element, he is and ingenious tall man as ever swaggerd about London: he and I call Countenance & Resolution, but his name is Cavalier Shift. Knew him Sir! why 'twas he gave all the directions for the Actium. Gods will, here are none but friends Resolution. Oh God sir; I, there were some present there, that were the nine Worthies to him i'faith. Nay, he has left all now (I assure you) and is able to live Like a Gentleman by his Quality. By this Dog, he has the most rare gift in Tobacco that ever you knew. Oh, he do's manage a quarrel the best that ever you saw, for Terms and Circumstances. You shall entreat me sir, come Resolution. Good faith I have a great Humour to the Court, what thinks my Resolutions? shall I adventure? Oh, my tricks in Tobacco (as Carlo says) will show excel lent there. You say true. You will go with me Resolution? Farewell good Resolution, but fail not to meet. What, Nephew? Here is the Gentleman Nephew, but not in such a Suit. How now Nephew? Nephew, will you go to the Court with us; these Gen tlemen and I are for the Court: nay be not so Melancholy. Faith and you say the word, I'll begin to her in Tobacco. But shall I not use Tobacco at all? Nay, I'll be advised sir by my friends. So I do sir. I have it i'faith now, will sting it. How does my sweet Lady; hight and moist? Beautiful and lusty? would? Oh ho Lady; it pleases you to say so in truth: and how does my sweet Lady; in health? Bonaroba, quaeso? que Novels? que Novels? Sweet creature. Tut, that was with holding the Plough. Nay stay sweet Lady; Que Novels, Que Novels. I think I did my partly in Courting. Oh Resolution! Take heed sir Puntarvolo what you do; he'll bear no coals I can tell you (of my word.) It's mar'le he stabs you not: by this Light, he hath stabbed forty for forty times less matter, I can tell you, of my know ledge. Make him stoop sir! Gentlemen pacify him or he'll be killed. Tall a man? if you love his life stand betwixt them make him stoop! I'll bear no witness. What? kneel to thine enemy? How? did you never do any robbery in your life? I, I herd him. And did you swear true sir? Now out base Viliaco: Thou my Resolution? I thy Count nance? By this light Gentlemen, he hath confessed to me the most inexorable company of Robberies, and damned himself that he did them; you never herd the Like: out skoundrell out, follow me no more I command thee: out of my ight, go, hence, speak not: I will not hear thee; away Camouccio. Faith and I may go too, but I know I shall be so Melan cholly. I, and bring up Supper; for I am so Melancholy. Resolution! hang him Rascal: Oh Carlo, if you love me do not mention him. Oh the arrantest Crocodile that ever Christian was acquain ted with. By Jesu, I shall think the worse of Tobacco while I live for his sake: I did think him to be as tall a man—