LA FOOLE

Are the Ladies come, Sir John Daw, and your Mi stris? Sir Dauphine! you are exceeding welcome, and ho nest Master Clerimont. Where's my Cossen? did you see no Collegiates, Gentlemen? How Sir! Wherein Gentlemen? let me be a Sut or to you to know, I beseech you! Has Sir John Daw wronged me so inhumanely? Good Gentlemen! I'll make one, believe it. How I pray? I'll go tell her presently. It shall be done, that's resolved. Yes, it's very faesible: shee'll do any thing, she says, rather then the La-Fooles shall be disgraced. Nay, wee'll give fire, I warrant you. My Cousin will never consent, Gentlemen. Why, she says they are no decorum among Ladies. I am afraid my Cousin will be offended if she come. Pray God my Cousin come not. I cannot drink it, as I am a Knight. It goes again my conscience. My Cousin will be angry with it. Not I, I'll both drink, and talk then. And me, too. As jovial as you will. And with his Hat off to her: 'twould do you good to see. Or a Torch, for lighting many Torches? I, and there's and excellent Book of moral Philo sophy, Madame, of Raynard the Fox, and all the Beasts, called Dones Philosophy. I have read it, my Lady Centaur, all over to my Cousin, hers. I can help you with one of them, Mistress Morose, the Groatsworth of wit. Oh, yes, for a Week, or so; I'll read it my self to him. Sir Dauphine, Eugeny. He has not a penny in his Purse, Madame— A very Shark, he set me i'the neck tother night at Primero. Master Tru-wit. Down into the Court, to make water. Why, Sir? Why! why! Who's that? I, I, I'll in: what's the matter? God's-light, let him rage. I'll hide my self. Not I, never in my life, broke Jest upon any man. The Bride was praising Sir Dauphine, and he went away in snuff, and I followed him, unless he took offence at me, in his drink ere while, that I would not pledge all the horse full. Like enough. Why, and he be angry for that. I'll stay here, till his anger be blown over. Yes, I can put it on. Or, I'll away into the Con trey presently. Why, then I'll stay here. Why, sweet Master Tru-wit, will you entreat my Cousin Otter, to send me a cold Venison Pasty, a Bottle or two of Wine, and a Chamber Pot. I, that will be better indeed: and a Palate to lie on. Would you not, Sir? why, then I will not. Is there, Sir? What is't? I'll set my back against it, Sir. I have a good back. Batter! if he dare, I'll have and Actium of Battery, against him. Sir, I'll give him any satisfaction. I dare give any terms. I, Sir. I'll stand to any conditions. What's here? A Sword. I ll receive none on't. I will not: tell him roundly. I cannot endure to shed my own blood. No. I ll Beatrice it against a fair flat wall, if that will satisfy him: If not, he shall Beatrice it himself, for Amorous. Yes, I am content, at the blunt. I am content. But why must I be blinded? Oh, I conceive. Not I, as God help me, of him. O, Sir John, Sir John. Dauphine enters to tweak him, O, ô-ô o o o O— Are they? Noble Sir John Daw! where have you been? Me! I honour you. And my gold handle was broke too, and my Boy had it forth. And he took them from our Boys, I warrant you? Thank you good Master Clerimont. Sir John Daw, and I are both beholden to you. No, he has his Box of Instruments. For the Mathematics: his Squire, his Compass ses, his Brass Pens, and Black-lead, to draw Maps of eve ry place, and person, where he comes. Yes, Sir, of Nomentack, when he was here, and of the Prince of Moldavia, and of Mistress, Mistress Epicane. You are a pleasant Gentleman, Sir. I protest, Sir John is. Sir John, you have the person, and the Discourse too. I protest, Sir John, you come as high from Tripoli, as I do every whit: and lift as many joined stools, and leap over them, if you would use it— That we have—Vellet Petticoats, and wrought Smocks, or so. No, do you, Sir John Daw. Faith, you shall. In the great Bed at Beware together in our time. On, Sir John. No, excuse us, Sir. No matter—they were these, or others. Our both cost us fifteen pound, when we came home. You shall excuse us, Sir: we must not wound re putation. Sir John had her Maidenhead, indeed. In a manner, Sir. Why, if he do, wee'll fetch them home again, I warrant you. IAssure you, Sir Dauphine, it is the price and estimation of your virtue only, that hath embarked me to this and venture, and I could not but make out to tell you; nor can I repent me of the act, since it is always and argument of some virtue in our selves, that we love and affect it so in oh the. He is as fine a Gentleman of his inches, Madame, as any is about the Town, and wears as good colours when he lift. Yes faith, it'll be brave. You shall excuse us, Master Clerimont. I'll confess it, Sir. I am resolved. Yes, I assure you, Sir. In good fashion. She was our Mistress, or so— Carnaliter? what else, Sir? Good faith it is a fine Lodging! almost, as delicate a Lodging, as mine. Excuse me, Sir, if it were i'the Strand, I assure you. I am come, Master Clermont, to entreat you wait upon two or three Ladies, to dinner, to day. No, Sir, dispense with me; I meant, to bear them company. It should be extremely against my will, Sir, if I con tested with any man. At Tom Otters, Sir. Captain Otter, Sir; he is a kind of Gamester: but he has had command, both by Sea, and by Land. I, Sir: his Wife was the rich China -woman, that the Courtiers visited so often, that gave the rare entertain meant. She commands all at home. You say very well, Sir: she is my Kinswoman, a La-fool by the Mother side, and will invite, any great Ladies, for my sake. No, Sir, the La-Fooles of London. They all come out of our House, the La-fooles of the North, the La-fooles of the West, the La-Fooles of the East, and South—we are as ancient a Fami lie, as any is in Europe —but I my self am descended lineally of the French La-Fooles —and, we do bear for our Coat Yellow, or Or, checkered Azure, and Gules, and some three or four Colours more, which is a very noted Coat, and has, sometime been solemnly worn by diverse Nobi litie of our House—but let that go, Antiquity is not respe cted now—I had a brace of fat Does sent me Gentlemen, and half a dosen of Pheasants, a dosen or two of God wits, and some other Foul, which I would have eaten, while they are good, and in good company—there will be a Great La die, or two, my Lady Haughty, my Lady Centaur, Mistress Dol Mavis —and they come a'purpose, to see the silent Gentlewoman, Mistress Epicoene, that honest Sir John Daw has promised to bring thither—and then, Mistress Trusty, my Ladies Woman, will be there too, and this Honourable Knight, Sir Dauphine, with your self, Master Clerimont —and wee'll be very merry, and have Fiddlers, and dance—I have been a mad Wag, in my time, and have spent some Crowns since I was a Page in Court, to my Lord Lofty, and after, my Ladies Gentleman-usher, who God me knighted in Ireland, since it pleased my elder Brother to die—I had as fair a gold Jerkin on that day, as any was worn in the I land -Voyage, or at Caliz, none dispraised, and I came over in it hither, showed my self to my friends, in Court, and of ter went down to my Tenants, in the Country, and sur uai'd my Lands, let new Leases, took their Money, spent it in the eye of the Land here, upon Ladies—and now I can take up at my pleasure. No, Sir, excuse me: I meant Money, which can take up any thing. I have another Guest, or two, to invite, and say as much to, Gentlemen. I'll take my leave abruptly, in hope you will not fail—Your Servant. No, Sir, not to day.