THOMAS

Oh Sir, a staple of news! Or the New Staple, which you please. To enter all the News, Sir, of the time, Newly erected Here in the house, almost on the same floor, Where all the news of all sorts shall be brought, And there be examined, and then registered, And so be issued under the Seal of the Office, As Staple News ; no other news be currant. He tells you true S r . M r Cymbal, Is Master of the Office, he projected it, He lies here i'the house: and the great rooms He has taken for the Office, and set up His Desks and Classes, Tables and his Shelves, Yes, four Emissaries, Men employed outward, that are sent abroad To fetch in the commodity. Or vented forth. But the 4. Cardinal Quarters— The Court, Sir, Paul's, Exchange, and Westminsterhall. The governor o'the Staple, Master Cymbal. He is the Chief; and after him the Emissaries : First Emissary Court, one Master Fitton, He's a Jeerer too. Or half a Wit, some of them are Halfe-wits, Two to a Wit, there are a set of them. Then Master Ambler, Emissary Pauls, A fine paced gentleman, as you shall see, walk The middle I'll: And then my Froy Hans Buz, A Dutchman ; he's Emissary Exchange. No, He has a rupture, he has sprung a leak, Emissary Westminster's undisposed of yet; Then the Examiner, Register, and two Clerks, They manage all at home, and sort, and file, And seal the news, and issue them. I would I had but one of the Clerks places, I'this News Office,. Fifty pound, Sir. M r Fashioner Has hit your measures, Sir, h'has moulded you, And made you, as they say. They write, the King of Spain is chosen Pope. And Emperor too, the thirtieth of February. And Spinola is made General of the Jesuits. News of Spinola. The fifth Monarchy, uniting the Ecclesiam stick and Secular power. A plot of the house of Au stria. More of Spinola. And Vittellesco, he that was last General, Being now turned Cook to the society, Has dressed his excellence, such a dish of eggs— No, powdered. His Eggs. They write was found in Galileos study, A burning Glass (which they have sent him too) Galilaeo's study. To fire any Fleet that's out at Sea — Yes, Sir, i'the water. They write here one Cornelius- , Hath made the Hollanders and invisible Ecle, To swim the Haven at Dunkirk, and sink all The shipping there. The perpetual Motion Is here found out by and Alewife in Saint Katherine's, At the sign of the dancing Bears The Saints do write, they expect a Prophet, shortly, The Prophet Baal, to be sent over to them, Prophet Ba all expected in Helland. To calculate a time, and half a time, And the whole time, according to Naömetry. The measuring o'the Temple: a Cabal Found out but lately, and set out by Archie, Or some such head, of whose long coat they have herd, And being black, desire it. They give out here, The great Turk turned Christian the grand Signior Is certainly turned Christian, and to clear The controuersie'twixt the Pope and him, Which is the Antichrist ; he means to visit The Church at Amsterdam, this very Summer, And quit all marks o'the beast. Yes, there is one. That the Kings Barber has God, for aid of our trade: Whereof there is a manifest decay. TO let long hair run to seed to sow bald pates. A Precept for the wearing of long hair, To run to seed, to sow bald pates withal, And the preserving fruitful heads, and chins, To help a mystery, almost antiquated. Such as are bald and barren beyond hope, Are to be separated, and set by For Ushers, to old Countesses. Oh! yes. There is a Legacy left to the Kings Players, Spalato's Legacy to the Players. Both for their various shifting of their Scene, And dexterous change o'their persons to all shapes, And all disguises: by the right reverend Archbishop of Spalato. Then, h'has lost his share of the Legacy. A second Fistula, Or and excoriation (at the least) For putting the poor English-play, was writ of him, Gundo mar's use of the game at Chess, or Play so call led. To such a sordid use, as (is said) he did, Of cleansing his posterior's. Since when, he lives condemned to his share, at Brussels. And there sits filing certain politic hinges, To hang the States on, h'has heaved off the hooks. We hear he has devised Bethlehem Gabors Drum. A Drum, to fill all Christendom with the found: But that he cannot draw his forces near it, To march yet, for the violence of the noise. And therefore he is feign by a design, To carry them in the air, and at some distance, Till he be married, then they shall appear. None very wild, Sir, Some tame there is, out o'the Forest of fools, 5. Cust. The new Park in the Forest of Fools. A new Park is a making there, to sever Cuckolds of Antler, from the Rascals. Such, Whose wives are dead, and have since cast their heads, Shall remain Cuckolds-pollard. New gone forth. Yes, there's a Gentleman, the brave heir, young Peny-boy, Dines in Apollo. Sir, Master Fitton's there too! If he dine there, he's sure to have good meat, For, Lickfinger provides the dinner. Much Like Worser. Burgundies, But, now and then, as th'holesome proverb says, It'll obsonare samem ambulando. Brother, Nathaniel, I ha'the wine for you. I hope to see us, one day, Emissaries. My Master! Maker ! How do you? Why do you fit thus o'the ground, Sir? Hear you the news ? A doleful day it is, and dismal times Are come upon us: I am clear undone. Why? broke! broke! wretchedly broke! Our Staple is all to pieces, quite dissolved! Shivered, as in and earthquake! herd you not The crack and ruins? we are all blown up! Soon as they herd the Infanta was God from them, Whom they had so devoured i'their Hope's, To be their Patroness, and sojourn with them; Our Emissaries, Register, Examiner, Flew into vapor: our graven Governor Into a subt'ler air; and is returned (As we do hear) grand- Captain of the Jeerers. I, and my fellow melted into butter, And spoiled our Ink, and so the Office vanished. The last hum that it made, was, that your Father, And Picklock are fallen out, the man of Law. He starts up at this. And a great suit, is Like to be between them, Picklock denies the Feofement, and the Trust, (Your Father says) he made of the whole estate, Unto him, as respecting his mortality, When he first laid this late device, to try you. I cannot tell, Here comes the worshipful — Sir, he said It was a Trust! and Act, the which your Father Had will to altar: but his tender breast Would not permit to see the heir defrauded; And Like and alyen, thrust out of the blood. The Laws forbid that he should give consent To such a civil slaughter of a Son— And he would milk Pecuniam, and draw down Her cream, before you God the Trust, again. Much more!