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Full speech
You are a Rogue, He's gone me thinks, where is he? Madrigal? Madrigal steps aside with Bro ker. Why, he's of years, though he have little beard. He snuffs again. 'Tis nothing but his keeping o'the house here, With his two drowsy dogs. What Lick-finger? mine old host of Ram-Alley? You have some mere at here. How the rogue stinks, worse then a Fishmonger sleeves! And such a perboil'd visage! This stock. He has no sense of any virtue, honour, Gentry or merit. Hang you rascal. I told you what we should find him, a mere Bawd. Thou cur. He minds A courtesy no more, then London -bridge, What Arch was mended last. Rogue, I could Beatrice you now, Here he comes with Broker, Madrigal returns. Pecunia's Secretary. Good morrow, Master Usher. Why? Pocks vpon't It's but for pots, or pipkins at the best. If it would keep us in good tobacco pipes, Not a gentleman. A wretched rascal, that will bind about The nose of his bellows, lest the wind get out When he's abroad. A slave, and and Idolater to Pecuniam ! Cannot your Office tell us, what brave fellows Do eat together to day, in town, and where? All the better! Yes, you'll drink, Doctor. (If there be any good meat) as much good wine now, As would lay up a Dutch Ambassador. Tut, he maintains more heresies then that. He'll draw the Magisterium from a minc'd-pye, And prefer Jellies, to your Iulips, Doctor Gi'him allowance, And that but moderate, he will make a Syren Sing i'the Kettle, send in and Arion, In a brave broth, and of a watery green, Just the Sea-colour, mounted on the back Of a grown Cunger, but, in such a posture, As all the world would take him for a Dolphin. You think not o'your time, we'll come too late, If we go not presently. Sirs, You must get o'this news, to store your Office, Who dines and sups in the town? where, and with whom? It'll be beneficial: when you are stored; And as we Like our fare, we shall reward you. Ex pect, S r . A game we use. Have at you, then Lawyer. They say, there was one of your coat in Bethlehem, lately, But what did you do, Lawyer ? When you made love to Mistress Band, at dinner. Quit, quit, As this morning, (I would you had herd us) of the Rogue your Uncle. He's some primate metropolitan Rascal, Our shot-clog makes so much of him. I say, she's more, then Fame can promise of her. A Theme, that's overcome with her own matter! Praise is struck blind, and deaf, and dumb with her! She does astonish Commendation ! A dainty ditty! Pox of your Scholar. He'll let you have your liberty— Oh, the Sack! Cudgel, and pot do threaten A kind of vengeance. But are a Rascal. Spurned, And spurn him. From all commerce of men, who are a cur. Out. Some begging Scholar ! And a worthy work, Fit for a Chronicle ! To all ages. You are pleasant, Sir. Then the truth is, We come to vex you. You would die a calves death feign: but'tis and Oxes, Is meant you. With a good Jeer or two. I do confess a washing blow? but Snarl, You that might play the third dog, for your teeth, You have no money now? Cymbal, A mighty Jeer. Content. We'll give him a broad side, first. with your baked Turkeys? You were wont to would your Breams — Or Like a Bear, with licking his own claws. He will be as thin as a lantern, we shall see thorough him, Or for custom, As commonly currres do, one for another. Hence. A furnace. You snuff the air now, as the scent displeased you?
Plot summary
Plot — The Staple of News
. _ Pug the junior devil is keen to visit earth. Satan svarns him that his ideas of effective devilment are half a century out of date, but grants him leave to spend the day in London, made flesh and subject to all the frailties and limitations of the human body. A ready-made body is available, in the shape of a recently hanged cutpurse, but Pug will have to make his own arrangements for clothes. Another proviso is that he must serve the first man he meets. Unfortunately for Pug, he turns out to be a twit: Fabian Fitzdottrel. Fitzdottrel longs to see the devil, and agrees to accept Pug as an unpaid servant because he gives his mame as Devil. The same obsession makes Fitzdottrel eager to see a new play, The Devil is an Ass, but he needs some finery to show off as he sits on the stage. Wittipol is eager to sleep with Fitzdottrel’s wife, and offers him a suitable cloak in exchange for fifteen minutes’ uninterrupted conversation with the lady. He uses the time to proposition her, and engages her interest even though she has been forbidden to reply. Fitzdottrel is introduced to Merecraft, a purveyor of imaginative financial schemes, who offers to make him rich and a duke through land reclamation in the eastern fens. Fitzdottrel agrees to meet with him, leaving Pug to ensure that nobody attempts to visit his wife. Pug instead brings her a follow-up message from Wittipol, then makes advances to her on his own account, but is caught by Fitzdottrel and gets a beating. Wittipol’s friend Manly has a room which abuts Mistress Fitzdottrel’s gallery, which he uses to have a second meeting with her. This is much more intimate than the first, despite being conducted through the windows of adjacent buildings. Pug gets back into favour by tipping off Fitzdottrel, who puts a stop to the assignation and threatens to take up another woman to share his expectations and be his Duchess. Merecraft suggests that what Fitzdottrel’s wife needs is to be taught proper manners, and recommends a widow who knows the ways of the Spanish court, who might be persuaded to undertake the task if sent an expensive ring as a gift, and who is entirely fictitious. His accomplice Engine proposes hiring an actor to impersonate her, but Merecraft worries that his business methods might be leaked to a playwright and end up on stage; in the event, Engine finds a gentleman to take on the role instead, who happens to be Wittipol. Fitzdottrel cannot get his wife to part with a ring of her own, so…