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Full speech
Verily, for the disease of longing, it is a disease, a carnal disease, or appetite, incident to women: and as it is carnal, and incident, it is natural, very natural: Now Pig, it is a meat, and a meat that is nourishing, and may be longed for, and so conse quently eaten; it may be eaten; very exceeding well eaten: but in the Fair, and as a Bartholmew -big, it cannot be eaten, for the very calling it a Bartholmew -pig, and to eat it so, is a spice of Idolatry, and you make the Fair, no better then one of the high Places. This I take it, is the state of the question. A high place. Surely, it may be otherwise, but it is subject, to constru ction, subject, and hath a face of offence, with the weak, a great face, a foul face, but that face may have a veil put over it, and be shadowed, as it were, it may be eaten, and in the Fair, I take it, in a Booth, the tents of the wicked: the place is not much, not very much, we may be religious in amid of the profane, so it be eaten with a reformed mouth, with sobriety, and humbleness; not gorged in with gluttony, or greediness; there's the fear: for, should she go there, as taking pride in the place, or delight in the unclean dressing, to feed the vanity of the eye, or the lust of the palate, it were not well, it were not fit, it were abominable, and not good. In the way of comfort to the weak, I will go, and eat. I will eat exceedingly, and prophesy; there may be a good use made of it, too, now I think on't: by the public eating of Swines flesh, to profess our hate, and loathing of Judaism, whereof the brothers stand taxed. I will therefore eat, yea, I will eat excee dingly. Very likely, exceeding likely, very exceeding likely. So, walk on in the middle way, foreright, turn ney there to the right hand, nor to the left: let not your eyes be drawn aside with vanity, nor your ear with noises. Look not towards them, harken not: the place is Smithfield, or the field of Smiths, the Grove of Hobbi-horses and trinkets, the wares are the wares of devils. And the whole Fair is the shop of Satan ! They are hooks, and baits, very baits, that are hung out on every side, to catch you, and to hold you as it were, by the gills; and by the nostrils, as the Fisher does: therefore, you must not look, nor turn towards them— The Heathen man could stop his ears with wax, against the harlot o'the sea: Do you the Like, with your fingers against the Bells' of the Beast. No, but your mother, religiously wise, conceives it may offer it self, by other means, to the sense, as by way of steam which I think it does, here in this place (Huh, huh) yes, it does. and it were a sin of obstinacy, Busy sents after it Like a Hound. great obstinacy, high and hor rible obstinacy, to decline, or resist the good titillation of the famelick sense, which is the smell. Therefore be bold (huh, huh, huh) follow the sent. Enter the Tents of the unclean, for once, and satisfy your wives frailty. Let your frail wife be satisfied: your zealous mother, and my suffering self, will also be satisfi ed. We escape so much of the other vanities, by our early entering. A pig prepare, presently, let a pig be prepared to us. Only Pig was not comprehended in my admonition, the rest were. For long hair, it is and Ensign of pride, a banner, and the world is full of those banners, very full of Banners. And, bottle-ale is a drink of Satan's, a diet-drink of Satan's, devi said to puff us up, and make us swell in this latter age of vanity, as the smoke of tobacco, to keep us in missed and error: But the fleshly woman, (which you call Vrsla ) is above all to be avoided, having the marks upon her, of the three enemies of Man, the World, as being in the Fair ; the Devil, as being in the fire; and and the Flesh, as being her self. For more big? there is no more, is there? Sister, let her fly the impurity of the place, swiftly, lest she partake of the pitch thereof. Thou art the seat of the Beast, Oh Smithfield, and I will leave thee. Idolatry peepeth out on every side of thee. Peace, with thy Apocryphal wares, thou profane Pub lican: thy Bells', thy Dragons, and thy Tobie's Dogs. Thy Hobbyhorse is and Idol, a very Idol, a fierce and rank Idol: And thou, the Nebuchadnezar, the proud Nebuchadnezar of the Fair, that settest it up, for children to fallen down to, and worship. It is the broken belly of the Beast, and thy Bellows there are his lungs, and these Pipes are his throat, those Feathers are of his tail, and thy Rattles, the gnashing of his teeth. The prouander that pricks him up. Hence with thy bas ket of Popery, thy nest of Images: and whole legend of ginger-worke. The sin of the Fair provokes me, I cannot be silent. Hinder me not, woman. I was moved in spirit, He speaks to the wid dow. to be here, this day, in this Fair, this wicked, and foul Fair ; and fit ter may it be a called a foul, then a Fair: To protest against the abuses of it, the foul abuses of it, in regard of the afflicted Saints, that are troubled, very much troubled, exceedingly troubled, with the opening of the merchandise of Babylon again, & the peeping of Popery upon the stals, here, here, in the high places. See you not Goldylocks, the purple strumpet, there? in her yellow gown, and green sleeves? the profane pipes, the tinkling timbrels? A shop of relics! And this Idolatrous Grove of Images, this flasket of Idols! Overthrows the gingerbread. which I will pull down— (TRAM. Oh my beware, my beware, God bless it.) In my zeal, and glory to be thus exercised. Thou canst not: it's a sanctified noise. Leatherhead enters with officers I will make a loud and most strong noise, till I have daunted the profane ene my. And for this cause.— I will thrust my self into the stocks, upon the pikes of the Land. Let them alone; I fear them not. No, Minister of darkness, no, thou canst not rule my tongue, my tongue it is mine own; and with it I will both kn ke and mock down your Bartholmew abhominat ns, till you made a hissing to the neighbour Parishes, round about. I do obey thee, the Lion may roar, but he cannot bite. They bring Busy, and put him in. I am glad to be thus separated from the heathen of the land, and put a partly in the stocks, for the holy cause. One that rejoices in his affliction, and sitteth here to prophesy, the destruction of Fairs and May-games, Wakes, and Whitson-ales, and does sighs and groan for the reformation, of these abuses. Friend, I will leave to communicate my spirit with you, if I hear any more of those superstitious relics, those lists of Latin, the very rags of Room, and patches of Popery. Wilt thou then leave thy brothers in tribulation? Thou art a halting Neutral stay him there, stop him: that will not endure the heat of persecution. He is fled, he is fled, and dares not fit it out. Peace religious sister, it is my calling, comfort your self, and extraordinary calling, and done for my better standing, my sum rer standing, hereafter. We are delivered by miracle; fellow in fetters, let us not refuse the means, this madness was of the spirit: The malice of the enemy hath mocked it self. Down with Dagon, down with Dagon ; it's I, will no longer endure your profanations. I will remove Dagon there, I say, that Idol, that heathenish Idol, that remains (as I may say) a beam, a very beam, not a beam of the Sun, nor a beam of the Moon, nor a beam of a bal lance, neither a house-beame, nor a Weavers beam, but a beam in the eye, in the eye of the brothers; a very great beam, and ex ceeding great beam; such as are your Stage players, Rhymers, and Morrise-dancers, who have walked hand in hand, in contempt of the Brothers, and the Cause ; and been born out by instruments, of no mean countenance. The Master of Rebels hand, thou hast; Satan's ! hold thy peace, thy scurrility shut up thy mouth, thy profession is dam nable, and in pleading for it, thou dost plead for Baal. I have long opened my mouth wide, and gaped, I have gaped as the oyster for the tide after thy destruction but cannot compass it by suit, or dispute; so thar I look for a bickering, ere long, and then a battle. I will not fear to make my spirit, and gifts known! as sist me zeal, fill me, fill me, that is, make me full. First, I say unto thee, Idol, thou hast no Calling. I mean no vocation, Idol, no present lawful Calling. Yes, mine is of the Spirit. Take not partly with the wicked young Gallant He neigh eth and hinneyeth, all is but his nying Sophistry. I call him Idol again. Yet, I say, his Calling, his Profession is profane, it is profane, Idol. It is profane. It is profane. Nor he me, with his Triple creeking, though he creek Like the chariot wheels of Satan ; I am zealous for the Cause — And I say, it is profane, as being the Page of Pride, and the waiting woman of vanity. I will not answer for them. No, Dagon. Yes, and my main argument against you, is, that you are and abomination : for the Male, among you, putteth on the ap parell of the Female, and the Female of the Male. Let it go on. For I am changed, and will become a be holder with you! I am confuted, the Cause hath failed me. What then, Dagonet? is a Puppet worse then these? Then be converted, be converted.
Plot summary
Plot — Bartholomew Fair
Bartholomew Cokes has two objectives in life: to visit the fair which shares his name, and to marry Grace Wellborn, who, as a ward, faces a financial penalty should she refuse. He sends his servant Wasp to Littlewit the proctor to obtain a marriage licence, but then, impatiently, comes himself. He brings Grace with him, and she attracts the interest of Winwife, present with his friend Quarlous as a suitor to Littlewit’s mother-in-law, Dame Purecraft. Littlewit is more interested in Cokes’s talk of the fair, having secretly written one of the puppet plays to be performed there. The only snag is that the puritanical Dame Purecraft will disapprove of their visit, thinking fairs profane. Busy, an elder of Purecraft’s church, advises the family that fairs may lawfully be visited for good reason, and comes along with them to partake of the pork. After some unfortunate experiences involving mistaken identity, Justice Overdo no longer trusts informers and has decided to do his spying personally. He visits the fair in disguise to seek out ‘enormities’ perpetrated by the fairground folk. He is impressed by one young man, Edgeworth, and decides to rescue him from the clutches of the cheaters; but he does not know that Edgeworth is a cutpurse. While Overdo is busy telling him about the wickedness of tobacco, Edgeworth steals Cokes’s purse; Overdo gets the blame. When it happens a second time, Overdo is arrested and put in the stocks. There he encounters the madman Trouble-All, who persistently demands Overdo’s warrant for any action; it transpires that he was a court official driven out of his mind by Overdo’s own actions. The watchmen, concerned to get better authority, release Overdo from the stocks for the time being. Meanwhile, the Littlewits arrive at the fair, but Busy becomes over-excited in his condemnation, attacks the fairground booths, and is arrested; Dame Purecraft goes after him, leaving Littlewit and Win free to enjoy themselves. Edgeworth tricks Wasp into making affidavit so that, at Quarlous’s instigation, he can steal Cokes’s marriage licence. Wasp too is arrested and put in the stocks, but escapes by a ruse when Overdo and Busy are put in beside him. The women visitors to the fair are separated from the men. Littlewit leaves Win in the care of two fairground bawds while he goes off to check the arrangements for his puppet show. Cokes abandons Grace and Mistress Overdo to try and get back his stolen property. Desperate for the toilet, Mistress…