BRISTLE

Come, come, you told me a pudding, Toby Haggise ; A matter of nothing; I am sure it came to nothing! you said, let's go oh Vrsla's, indeed; but then you met the man with the mon sters, and I could not get you from him. And old fool, not leave seeing yet? One should go by another, if they did well. Nay, that's most true, a sufficient watchman knows what a clock it is. Let's inquire of Master Leatherhead, or Joan Trash here. Master Leatherhead, do you hear, Master Leatherhead? What then, Sir? Obedient, friend? take heed what you speak, I advise you: Oliver Bristle advises you. His loving subjects, we grant you: but not his obedient, at this time, by your leave, we know our selves, a little better then so, we are to command, S r . and such as you are to be obedient. Here's one of his obedient subjects, going to the stocks, and wee'll make you such another, if you talk. If you know it, Sir, why do you bring it in question? Like enough, Sir, but let me tell you, and you play away your buttons, thus, you will want them ere night, goes away. for any store I see about you: you might keep them, and save pins, I wusse. O'my conscience a Seminary! he kisses the stocks. He is a fellow that is distracted, they say; one Trouble-all he was and officer in the Court of Pie-poulders, here last year, and put out on his place by Justice Ouerdoo. Upon which, he took and idle conceit, and's run mad vpon't. So that ever since, he will do nothing, but by Justice Ouerdoo's warrant, he will not eat a crust, nor drink a little, nor make him in his apparel, ready. His wife, Sirreuerence, cannot get him make his water, or shift his shirt, without his warrant. Oh! are you advised of that? and a severe Justicer, by your leave. He will fit as upright o'the bench, and you mark him, as a candle i'the socket, and give light to the whole Court in every business. No, Mistress, wee'll have them both to Justice Ouerdoo, and let him do over them as is fitting. Then I, and my gossip Haggis, and my beadle Pocher are discharged. Nay, never thank us, but thank this madman that comes here, he put it in our heads. We be men, and no Infidels; what is the matter, here, and the noises? can you tell? Why, we be his Majesties Watch, Sir. Down? yes, we will down, I warrant you, down with him in his Majesties name, down, down with him, and carry him away, to the pigeon-holes. 'Slid, the Clerk o'the Market, has been to cry him all the Fair over, here, for my Lords service. You say very well. Come put in his leg in the middle roundel, and let him hold there. Why, what is that to you, if you fit sweetly in the stocks in the mean time? if you have a mind to stink too, your bree ches fit close enough to your bumm. Fit you merry, Sir. How now, neighbour Haggise, what says Justice Ouerdo's worship, to the other offenders? What shall be done with them, then? in your discretion? Put in your leg, Sir. How now, what's the matter? What, has he made and escape, which way? follow, neigh bour Haggise. Sure you did not lock the stocks sufficiently, neighbour Toby ! They are very sufficiently locked, and truly, yet some thing is in the mater. Mad man, hold your peace, I will put you in his room else, in the very same hold, do you see? The watchmen come back again. The madman fights with them, and they leave open the stocks. This mad fool has made me that I know not whither I I have locked the stocks or no, I think I locked them. 'Slid, madness it self, hold thy peace, and take that. How now! all scaped? where's the woman ? it is witchcraft! The watch missing them are affrigh ted. Her velvet hat is a witch, of my conscience, or my key! one. The madman was a Devil, and I am and Ass; so bless me, my place, and mine office. W Ell, Luck and Saint Bartholmew ; out with the sign of our invention, in the name of Wit, and do you Beatrice the Drum, the while; All the fowl i'the Fair, I mean, all the dirt in Smithfield, (that's one of Master Littlewit's Carwhitchets now) will be thrown at our Banner to day, if the matter do's not please the people. Oh the Motions, that I Lanthorn Leatherhead have given light to, in my time, since my Master Pod died! Jerusalem was a stately thing; and so was Nineveh, and the city of Norwich, and Sodom and Gomorrah ; Pod was a Master of motions be before him. with the rising o'the prentices; and pulling down the bawdy houses there, upon Shrovetuesday ; but the Gunpowder-plot, there was a get-penny! I have presented that to and eighteen, or twenty pence audience, nine times in and afternoon. Your homeborn projects prove ever the best, they are so easy, and familiar, they put too much learning i'their things now o'dayes: and that I fear will be the spoil o'this. Little-wit? I say, Mickle-wit ! if not too much! look to your gathering there, good man Filcher. I, and he will be angry too, when his list, that's more: and when he is angry, be it right or wrong; he has the Law on's side, ever. I mark that too. It is but a hold matter, if we do, Neighbour Haggise, come, Sir, here is company for you, heave up the stocks.