CUPID

Who? MERCURY? Farewell. Not in your company, HELMS, except your hands were ri etted at your back. Because I know, you have not a finger, but is as long as my qui ver (cousin MERCURY) when you please to extend it. Oh! 'tis your best polity to be ignorant. You did never steal MARS his sword out of the sheath, you? nor NEPTUNE'S trident? nor APOLLO'S how? no, not you? Alas, your palms (JUPITER knows) they are as tender as the foot of a foundered nag, or a ladies face new mercuried , the'ile touch nothing. Daring? Oh IANUS! what a word is there? why, my light fe ther-heel'd couss', what are you? any more then my uncle JOVE'S pandar, a lackey, that runs on errands for him, and can whisper a light mes sage to a lose wench with some round volubility, wait mannerly at a ta ble with a trencher, and warble upon a crowd a little, fill out nectar , when Ganymede's away, one that sweeps the Gods drinking room every morning, and sets the cushions in order again, which they threw one at another's headouer-night, can brush the carpets, call the stools again to their places, play the crier of the court with and audible voice, and take state of a President upon you at wrestlings, pleadings, negotiations, &c. Here's the catalogue of your employments now. Oh no, I err, you have the marshalling of all the ghosts too, that pass the stygian ferry, and I suspect you for a share with the old sculler there, if the truth were known; but let that escape. One other peculiar virtue you possess, in lifting, or lieger-du-maine , (which few of the house of heaven have else beside) I must confess. But (me thinks) that should not make you put that ex treme distance betwixt your self and others, that we should be said to over dare in speaking to your nimble deity? So HERCULES might challenge priority of us both, because he can throw the bar farther, or lift more joined stools at the arms end, then we. If this might carry it, then we who have made the whole body of divinity tremble at the twang of our bow, and enforced SATURNIUS himself to lay by his curled front, thun der, and three-forked fires, and put on a masking suit, too light for a re ueller of eighteen, to be seen in— What? use the virtue of your snaky tipstaff there upon us? Oh no, I remember it freshly, and by a particular instance; for my mother VENUS (at the same time) but stooped to embrace you, and (to speak by metaphor ) you borrowed a girdle of hers, as you did JOVE'S sceptre (while he was laughing) and would have done his thunder too, but that 'twas too hight for your itching fingers. I herd, you but look't in at VULCAN'S forge the other day, and entreated a pair of his new tongue's along with you, for company: 'Tis joy on you (i'faith) that you will keep your hooked talons in practice with any thing. Slight, now you are on earth, we shall have you silch spoons and candle-s icks, rather then fail: pray JOVE the perfumed cour tiers keep their casting-bottles, pick-toothes, and shittle-cocks from you; or our more ordinary gallants their tobacco-boxes, for I am strangely iea lous of your nails. Oh HERMES, your craft cannot make me confident. I know my own steel to be almost spent, and therefore entreat my peace with you, in time: you are too cunning for me to encounter at length and I think it my safest ward to close. Faith (to recover thy good thoughts) I'll discover my whole project. The Huntress, and Queen of these groves, Diana (in regard of some black and envious slanders hourly breathed against her, for her divine justice on ACTEON, as she pretends) hath here in the vale of Gar gaphy , proclaimed a solemn revels, which (her godhead put off) she will descend to grace, with the full and royal expense of one of her clee rest moons: In which time, it shall be lawful for all sorts of ingenuous persons, to visit her palace, to court her NYMPHS, to exercise all variety of generous and noble pastimes, as well to intimate how far she treads such malicious imputations beneath her, as also to show how clear her beauty's are from the least wrinkle of austerity, they may be charged with. Here do I mean to put off the title of a God, and take the would bite of a page, in which disguise (during the interim of these revels) I will get to follow some one of DIANA'S maids, where (if my bow hold, and my shafts fly but with half the willingness, and aim they are dire cted) I doubt not, but I shall really redeem the minutes I have lost, by their so long and overnice proscription of my deity , from their court. But will HERMES second me? Well, then we partly. That's not every ones happiness (HERMES) though you can presume upon the easiness and dexterity of your wit, you shall give me leave to be a little jealous of mine; and not desperately to hazard it after your capering humour. Not so (MERCURY) I am still blind CUPID to thee. Troth, page, boy, and sirrah: these are all my titles. Oh, no, that had been supererogation, you shall never hear your courtier call but by one of these three. Why? what parcel of man hast thou lighted on for a master? HEDON? he uses much to my ladies chamber, I think. Madame PHILAUTIA. And not a poet? What's he, MERCURY? Here comes another. His name, HERMES? Not better then MERCURY commends him. 'Slight, I believe he is your minion, you seem to be so ravished with him. No, but a straight shaft in his bosom, I'll promise him, if I am CITHEREAS son. Stay, and see the ladies now: they'll come presently. I'll help to paint them. Here comes mettle to help it, the lady ARGVRION. The same. A Nymph of a most wandering and giddy dispositi on, humorous as the air, shee'le run from gallant to gallant (as they fit at primero in the presence) most strangely, and seldom stays with any. She spreads as she goes. To day you shall have her look as clear and fresh as the morning, and to morrow as melancholic as midnight. She takes special pleasure in a close obscure lodging, and, for that cause, visits the city so often, where she has many secret true-concealing favourites. When she comes abroad, she's more lose and scattering then dust, and will fly from place to place, as she were rapt with a whirlwind. Your young student (for the most partly) she affects not, only salutes him, and a way: a poet , nor a philosopher , she is hardly brought to take any notice of; no, though he be some partly of and alchemist. She loves a player well, and a lawyer infinitely: but your fool above all. She can do much in court for the obtaining of any suit whatsoever, no door but flies open to her, her presence is above a charm. The worst in her is want of keeping state, and too much descending into inferior and base offices, she's for any course employment you will put upon her, as to be your procurer, or pandar. This, Madam MORIA, guardian of the Nymphs. One that is not now to be persuaded of her wit, she will think her self wise against all the judgements that come. A lady made all of voice, and air, talks any thing of any thing. She is Like one of your ignorant Poetasters of the time, who when they have God acquainted with a strange word, never rest till they have wrong it in, though it loosen the whole fabric of their sense. She will tell you, Philosophy was a fine reveller, when she was young, and a gallant, and that then (though she say it) she was thought to be the Dame-DIDO, and HELLEN of the court: As also, what a sweet dog she had this time four years, and how it was called Fortune , and that (if the sates had not cut his thread) he had been a dog to have gi ven entertainment to any gallant in this kingdom: and, unless she had whelpt it her self, she could not have loved a thing better i'this world. Yes (I must needs tell you) she composes a sack-posset well; and would court a young page sweetly, but that her breath is against it. Oh, that's my lady and mistress, Madam PHILAUTIA. She and mires not her self for any one particularity, but for all: she is fair, and she knows it: she has a pretty light wit too, and she knows it: she can dance, and she knows that too: play at shittle-cock, and that too: no quality she has, but she shall take a very particular knowledge of, and most ladylike commend it to you. You shall have her at any time read you the history of her self, and very subtly run over another ladies sufficiencies, to come to her own. She has a good superficial judgement in painting; and would seem to have so in poetry. A most complete lady in the opinion of some three, beside herself. There is a Nymph too, of a most curious and elaborate strain, light, all motion, and ubiquitary , she is every where, PHANTASTE— They are in her court (MERCURY) but not as stars, these never come in the presence of CYNTHIA. The Nymphs that make her train, are the divine ARETE, TIME, PHRONESIS, THAUMA, and oh the of that high sort. These are privately brought in by MORIA in this licentious time, against her knowledge: and (Like so many meteors) will van sh, when she appears. COme follow me, my wags, and say as I say. There's no riches but in rags; heigh day, heigh day. You that profess this art, come away, come away, And help to bear a partly. Heigh day; heigh day, &c. Some diet-drink, they have the guard of. By whom? Here, lady. I hope, I have instructed her sufficiently for and answer. Now observe, MERCURY. There are new oaths for him: what? does HERMES taste no alteration, in all this? Alas, no; I am nobody, I: I can do nothing in this disguise. Not yet: it is enough that I have begun so prosperously. Shall not she answer for this, to maintain him thus in swearing? I, if you had the airing of his apparel, couss', I think. Oh, I, this will be excellent sport. No, MERCURY, and that his page (Cos) knows, if he were here present to be sworn. I, I'll revenge it time enough; HERMES. Tut, here be they will swallow any thing. What, has he entertained the fool? And for it, they will help you to shoe-ties, and devices. Here's the lady ARETE, Madame. WHat! at your beaver, gallants? This is excellent: well, I must altar all this soon. Well, PROSAITES, 'twere good you did wait closer. Faith, the thread of my device is cracked, I may go sleep till the revelling music awake me. HEDON, thy master is next. No faith, but I have a comedy towards, that would not be lost for a kingdom. MERCURY, I am studying how to match them. They are the Nymphs must do it, I shall sport my self with their passion above measure. Oh, yes, here be of all sorts, flights, rovers, and butt-shafts. But I can wound with a brandish, and never draw bow for the matter. It behooves me to be somewhat circumspect, MERCURY; for if CYNTHIA hear the twang of my bow, shee'le go near to whip me with the string: therefore, to prevent that, I thus discharge a brandish upon— it makes no matter which of the couples. PHANTASTE, and AMORPHUS, at you. As well as the wink of and eye: but I pray thee, hinder me not with thy prattle. It will tarry the rather, for the antiperistasis will keep it in. Why, their marrow boils already, or they are all turned eunuchs. What prodigy is this? no word of love? no mention? no motion? Are my darts enchanted? Is their vigour gone? is their for tue— Laughs MERCURY? Hath he not cause, when his purpose is so deluded? Do not scorn us, HERMES. You cannot tell: perhaps the physic will not work so soon upon some, as upon others. It may be, the rest are not so resty. I'll try: this is the same shaft, with which I wounded AR GVRION. JOVE, strike me into earth: The Fountain of selflove! I remembered it not. Indignity not to be born. How might I revenge my self on this insulting MERCURY! there's CRITES, his minion, he has not tasted of this water. It shall be so. Is CRITES turned dotard on himself too? As though there were one antidote for these, and another for him? They are divine. But that shall not serve him. One is more then a multitude.