ASOTUS

No, CRITES? why? Metheglin! what's that, sir? may I be so audacious to demand? CRITES, I have a suit to you; but you must not deny me: pray you make this gentleman and I friends. No, I mean acquaintance, to know one another. In good faith, he's a most excellent rare man, I warrant him! Will you, sweet CRITES? Nay, but when? you'll defer it now, and forget it. No, but (would I might never stir) he's a most ravishing man! good CRITES, you shall endear me to you, in good faith-law. And withal, you may tell him what my father was, and how well he left me, and that I am his heir. Nay, I know you can better marshal these affairs then I can— Oh gods I'de give all the world (if I had it) for abundance of such ac quaintance. Would I had but once spoke to him, and then—He comes to me. Oh God, sir. Oh lord, sir, there needs no such apology, I assure you. 'Tis the most gentile, and received wear now, sir. Oh, 'tis your pleasure to say so, sir. I do purpose to travail, sir, at spring. Oh God, sir. I would there were anything in me, sir, that might appear worthy the least worthiness of your worth, sir. I protest, sir, I should endeavour to show it, sir, with more then common regard, sir. I would I were the fairest lady of France for your sake, sir, and yet I would travail too. I think it be great charge though, sir. I'll practice them all, if you please, sir. PROSAITES. Sirrah prepare my casting-bottle, I think I must be enforced to purchase me another page, you see how at hand Cos waits, here. I think he has. Where you please, sir, any where, I. A poison of all, I think I was forespoke, I. Oh JOVE! sir, I could never get him to read a line to me. But I shall never utter it perfectly, sir. I shall attempt, sir. How if they would have me to make verses? I herd Hedon spoke to for some. Yes, and I'll give out my acquaintance with all the best writers, to countenance me the more. Yes, sir, (pray JOVE I can light on it) Here, I come in, you say, and present my self? And then I spy her, and walk off? Now, sir, I stifle, and advance forward? Yes, sir, trembling: I shall do it better when I come to it. And what must I speak now? Well, sir, I'll enter again; her title shall be, My deer LIN DABRIDES. I, sir, the Emperor ALICANDROES daughter, and the Prince MERIDIANS sister (in the Knight of the Sun ) she should have been married to him, but that the Princess CLARIDIANA— Nay, sir, I have read history, I am a little humanitian. Inter rupt me not, good sir. My deer LINDABRIDES, My deer LINDAM BRIDES, My deer LINDABRIDES, me thinks you are melancholy. Must I so? Oh, my deer LINDABRIDES, me thinks you are melancholy. Believe me, that's pretty. All variety of divine pleasures, choice sports, sweet music, rich fare, brave attires, soft beds, and silken thoughts, attend this deer beauty. This is hard, by my faith. I'll begin it all, again. Will you vouchsafe, sir? All variety of divine pleasures, choice sports, sweet music, rich fare, brave attire, soft beds, and silken thoughts attend this deer beauty. More then most fair lady, let not the rigour of your joust dis dame, thus courtly censure of your servants zeal, I protest, you are the only, and absolute, appareled— Unparalleled creature, I do adore, and admire, and respect, and reverence, in this court, corner of the world, or kingdom. I conceive you, sir, I shall perform all these things in good time, I doubt not, they do so hit me. Yes, sir, my deer LINDABRIDES.— Yes, sir, he was at my lodging tother morning, I gave him a doublet. I comprehend you, sir. Beautiful, ambiguous, and sufficient lady, what! are you all alone? I am at your beauty's appointment, bright angel; but— No harm, more then most fair feature. But, I protest— For good will (deer esteemed Madam) and I hope, your ladi ship will so conceive of it: And will, in time, return from your disdain, And rue the sufferance of our friendly pain. And will, in time, return from your disdain, And rue the sufferance of our friendly pain. Lady, I cannot ruffle it in read and yellow. Say you so, sweet lady? Lan, tede, de, de, de, daunt, daunt, daunt, dante, &c. No (in good faith) Madame, whosoever told your ladyship so, abused you; but I would be glad to meet your ladyship in a measure. Would I might, fair feature. The better it please you to ask, fair lady. In truth, sir? pray PHŒBUS I prove favour-some in her fair eyes. How? most ambiguous beauty? love you? that I will by this handkercher. Constant, Madam? I will not say for constantness, but by this purse (which I would be loath to swear by, unless 'twere embroidered) I protest (more then most fair lady) you are the only, absolute, and un paralleled creature, I do adore, and admire, and respect, and reverence in this court, corner of the world, or kingdom: Me thinks you are me lancholy. Say you?— Now, by this watch (I made how forward the day is) I do unfeignedly vow my self ('slight it's deeper then I took it, passed five) yours entirely addicted, Madame. Oh God, sweet lady! Not so, good lady, By this diamond. Nay then, by this pearl, you make me a wanton. Loving? 'twere pity I should be living else, believe me. Save you, sir. Save you, sweet lady. Save you, Monsieur ANAIDES. Save you, deer Madame. What must I do, sir? Yes, sir: well-spoken, shall be mine. Well-spoken? marry well-spoken, because—whatsoever they speak, is well taken; and whatsoever is well taken, is well-spoken. Not so, ladies, neither. How! do's it begin at me? May I not name my self? Then, I would have done it better, what ever it is. This was not so good, now. I must suit my self with another page: this idle PROSAITES will never be brought to wait well. And I shall be glad (most sweet lady) to embrace him: where is he? You shall not, most sufficient lady, I will keep both: pray you lets go see him. I'll return presently, I go but to see a page, with this lady. Come, sweet lady, in good truth I'll have it, you shall not de nigh me. MORUS, persuade your aunt I may have her picture, by any means. Shall I? thank her, good page. For loves sake, let me go: you see, I am called to the ladies. God so, what would you have me do? I protest (more then most fair ladies) I do wish all variety of divine pleasures, choice sports, sweet music, rich fare, brave attire, soft beds, and silken thoughts attend these fair beauty's. Will it please your ladyship to wear this chain of pearl, and this diamond, for my sake? And you, Madame, this jewel, and pendants. Oh Lord, ladies! it is more grace then ever I could have hoped, but that it pleases your ladyships to extend. I protest, it is enough, that you but take knowledge of my—if your ladyships want embroidered gowns, tires of any fashion, rebatu's, jewels, or carkanets, any thing whatsoever, if you vouchsafe to accept. I cannot utter my self (deer beauty's) but, you can con ceiue— Oh VENUS, Madams! how shall I deserve this? if I were but made acquainted with HEDON, now, I'll try: pray you away. AMORPHUS, a word with you: here's a watch I would be stow upon you, pray you make me known to that gallant. Good Monsieur HEDON, I would be glad to be loved of men of your rank, and spirit, I protest. Please you to accept this pair of bracelets, sir: they are not worth the bestowing— Oh, VENUS, sir; your acquaintance shall be sufficient. And if at any time you need my bill, or my bound. I come again strait, ladies. Faith, ill. I have left my page with her, at her lodging. Oh, I am sorry the revels are crossed. I should have tickled it soon. I did never appear till then. 'Slid, I am the neatlyest-made gallant in the company, and have the best presence; and my dancing—well, I know what our usher said to me, lasst time I was at the school: would I might have led PHILAUTIA in the measures, and it had been the gods will. I am most worthy, I am sure. Peace, my most esteemed page. What luck is this, that our revels are dashed? Now was I be ginning to glister, in the very high way of preferment. And CYNTHIA had but seen me dance a strain, or do but one trick, I had been kept in court, I should never have needed to look towards my friends again. Sir, and his friends shall likewise grace you, sir. Nay, I begin to know my self, now. Must I? why, I'll give him this ruby on my finger. Do you hear, sir? I do heartily with your acquaintance, and I partly know my self worthy of it; please you, sir, to accept this poor ruby, in a ring, sir. The poesy is of my own device. Let this blush for me , sir. As for that, MORUS, thou shalt see more hereafter: in the mean time, by this air, or by this feather, I'll do as much for thee, as a nigh gallant shall do for his page, whatsoever, in this court, corner of the world, or kingdom. Sirrah, a torch, a torch. Fear me not, I warrant you, sir. Nay, good, sir, leave it to me. Trust me with trussing all the points of this Actium, I pray. 'Slid, I hope we shall find wit to perform the science , as well as another. (I know it, sir. I, I, sir. Do not I know it, sir? I know it too, I know it. Why it is—no matter for that. Why? what is't, say you? Why, so I told you, sir, I knew it. Why, sir, what, do you think you know more? Nay, for heavens sake, teach me no more. I know all as well— 'Slid, if I did not, why was I nominated? why did you choose me? why did the ladies prick out me? I am sure there were other gallants. But me of all the rest? By that light, and as I am a courtier, would I might never stir, but it's strange. Would to the lord, the ladies would come once. SIgnior, the gallants and ladies are at hand. Are you ready, sir? Oh JOVE, master! and there come ere a citizen gentlewoman in my name, let her have entrance, I pray you. It is my sister. Who's there? Gods me! There she is, good master, intrude he. Brother, you must pardon your nonentry : Husbands are not allowed here in truth. I'll come home soon with my sister; pray you meet us with a lantern, brother. Be merry, sister: I shall make you laugh anon. I faith, Master, Let's go: no body comes. Victus, victa, victum; Victi, victae, victi —Let's be retrograde. Now shall I be observed by yoned scholar, till I sweat again; I would to JOVE, it were over. What! my Master, sir? 'Slight, Monsieur , meddle with me, do you hear? but do not meddle with my Master. Master? But must I loose the prizes, Master? Well, he would needs take it upon him, but would I had done it for all this. He makes me fit still here, Like a babioun as I am. And yet your Critic , or your Besso'gno , will think these things sopperie, and easy, now. Yes master, to me. The judges be fools. Say you, sir? Why, so I do. Do not I, I pray you? They must do so, sister, how should it be the better Reguard , else? As buckets are put down into a well; Or as a schoolboy.— Oh, that I had played at this weapon! If I had don't, it should have been better. I could have done no more. Fit by me, Master. Sister, come away, I cannot endure them longer. I, sir, I'll assure you 'tis a beaver, it cost me eight crowns but this morning. Yes, sir. Sir, it is all at your service. I beseech you, sir, if you please to wear it, you shall do me a most infinite grace. By heaven, sir, I do not offer it you after the Italian manner; I would you should conceive so of me. My name is ASOTUS, sir. Slid, this is not worth a crown, and mine cost me eight but this morning. By JOVE, I will not depart withal, whosoever would give me a million. Save you, sweet bloods: do's any of you want a creature, or a de pendant? Stay, sir; I'll but entertain this other fellow, and then—I have a great humour to taste of this water too, but I'll come again alone for that—mark the place. What's your name, youth? PROSAITES? A very fine name, CRITES? is't not? Follow me, good PROSAITES: Let's talk.