WELLBRED

O, I came not there to night. Who? my brother DOWNRIGHT? Sir, I must hear no ill words of my brother. Good Captain, faces about , to some other discourse. O, M r . MATTHEW, that's a grace peculiar but to a few; quos aquus amavit JUPITER. No question, you do, or you do not, sir. NED KNO'WELL! by my soul welcome; how dost thou sweet spirit, my Genius? 'Slid I shall love APOLLO, and the mad Thespian girls the better, while I live, for this; my deer fury: now, I see there's some love in thee! Sirrah, these be the two I writ to thee of (nay, what a drowsy humour is this now? why dost thou not speak?) Why, was't not rare? Why? 'Slid, you jest, I hope? What a dull slave was this? But, sirrah, what said he to it, I'faith? What? what? Tut, that thought is Like the moon in her last quarter, it'll change shortly: but, sirrah, I pray thee be acquainted with my two hang by's, here; thou wilt take exceeding pleasure in them if thou hearest them once go: my wind-instruments. I'll wind them up— but what strange piece of silence is this? the sign of the dumb man? O, what is't? what is't? Well, Captain BOBADILL, M r . MATTHEW, pray you know this gentleman here, he is a friend of mine, and one that will deserve your affection. I know not your name sir, but I shall be glad of any occasion, to render me more familiar to you Would the sparks would kindle once, and become a fire a ongst them, I might see selflove burnt for her heresy. Captain BOBADILL: why muse you so? To the sword? to the rapier, Captain? Where bought you it, M r . STEPHEN? Oh, it is passed help now, sir, you must have patience. It's better as it's: come, gentlemen, shall we go? A Miracle, cousin, look here! look here! Why you have done Like a gentleman, he ha confessed it, what would you more? O, it's a most precious fool, make much on him: I can come pare him to nothing more happily, then a drum; for every one may play upon him. Thy father? where is he? Who's this? BRAINWORM? Why how, in the name of wit, comest thou transmuted, thus? But, art thou sure, he will stay thy return? We'll prorogue his expectation then, a little: BRAINWORM, thou shalt go with us. Come on, gentlemen, nay, I pray thee, sweet NED, droop not: Heart, and our wits be so wretchedly dull, that one old plodding brain can outstrip us all, would we were eene pressed, to make porters of; and serve out the remnant of our days, in Thames -street, or at Custom -house key, in a civil war, against the carmen. Yes faith, but was't possible thou shouldst not know him? I forgive M r . STEPHEN, for he is stupidity it self! Why, BRAINWORM, who would have thought thou hadst been such and artificer? Where gottest thou this coat, I marl'e? That cannot be, if the proverb hold; for, a crafty knave needs no broker. (Well put off) no crafty knave, you'll say, How now, THOMAS? is my brother KITELY, within? Whither went your master? THOMAS, canst thou tell? Why, dost thou not know him? he is a city-magistrate, a Ju stice here, and excellent good Lawyer, and a great scholar: but the only mad, merry, old fellow in Europe! I showed him you, the other day. I, or wearing his cloak of one shoulder, or serving of God: a nigh thing indeed, if it come in the way of his humour. THOMAS, get him away. Marry, the law forbid, sir. You are a fool: It needs no affidavit. No, Master STEPHEN? as I remember your name is entered in the artillery garden? But soft, where's M r . MATTHEW? gone? Oh, let's follow them: master MATTHEW is gone to salute his mistress, in verse. We shall have the happiness, to hear some of his poe try, now. He never comes unfurnished. BRAINWORM? Rare! your cousin's discourse is simply drawn out with oaths. Oh, forgive it him. Sister, what have you here? verses? pray you, lets see. Who made these verses? they are excellent good! How? extempore? Sister, you have a simple servant here, that crowns your beau tie, with such encomions , and devises: you may see, what it is to be the mi stris of a wit! that can make your perfections so transparent, that every blear eye may look through them, and see him drowned over head, and ears, in the deep well of desire. Sister KITELY, I marvel, you get you not a servant, that can rhyme, and do tricks, too. 'Slight, here's a trick vied, and reuyed! why, you munkies, you? what a catter-waling do you keep? ha he not given you rhymes, and verses, and tricks? Nay, you, lamp of virginity, that take it in snuff so! come, and cherish this tame poetical fury , in your servant, you'll be begged else, shortly, for a concealment: go to, reward his muse. You cannot give him less then a shilling, in conscience, for the book, he had it out of, cost him a teston, at least. How now, gallants? M r . MATTHEW? Captain? What? all sons of silence? no spirit? How now! whose cow ha calved? My companions? 'Slight, stay, let's see what he dare do: cut off his ears? cut a whetstone. You are and ass, do you see? touch any man here, and by this hand, I'll run my rapier to the hilts in you. Come, let's go: this is one of my brother's ancient hu mours, this. I'faith, now let thy spirits use their best faculties. but, at any hand, remember the message, to my brother: for, there's no other means, to start him. Forth, and prosper, BRAINWORM. Faith, NED, how dost thou approve of my abilities in this devise? Take, man? why, it cannot choose but take, if the circum stances miscarry not: but, tell me, ingenuously, dost thou affect my sister BRIDGET, as thou pretendest? Come, do not protest. In faith, she is a maid of good orna meant, and much modesty: and, except I conceived very worthily of her, thou shouldst not have her. Slid, thou shalt have her; by this light, thou shalt. By this hand, thou shalt have her: I'll go fetch her, presently. Point, but where to meet, and as I am and honest man, I'll bring her. Why, by—what shall I swear by? thou shalt have her, as I am— Thou shalt see, and know, I will not. WAs your man a soldier, sir? Come, he's once more gone. Sister, let's lose no time; th'affaire is worth it. I Wonder, Captain, what they will say of my going away? would? Oh, now stand close: pray heaven, she can get him to read: He should do it, of his own natural impudency. Oh, no: a rhyme to him, is worse then cheese, or a bagpipe. But, mark, you lose the protestation. Oh, chide your cossen, for swearing. What, do you take Insipere , in that sense? Oh, the Benchers phrase: pauca verba, pauca verba. Oh, I! peace, we shall have more of this. How Like you that, sir? No harm done, brother, I warrant you: since there is no harm done. Anger costs a man nothing: and a tall man is never his own man, till he be angry. To keep his valour in obscurity, is to keep him self, as it were, in a cloak-bag. What's a musician, unless he play? what's a tall man, unless he fight? For, indeed, all this, my wise brother stands upon, absolutely: and, that made me fallen in with him, so resolutely. Might, sister? so, might the good warm clothes, your husband wears, be poisoned, for any thing he knows: or the wholesome wine he drunk, even now, at the table— Oh, strange humour! my very breath ha poisoned him. Is a fit simile , a toy? will he be poisoned with a simile? Brother KITELY, what a strange, and idle imagination is this? For shame, be with sir. OF my soul, there's no such matter. His jealousy is the poison, he ha taken. This is perfectly rare, BRAINWORM! but how gottest thou this apparel of the Justices man? Well, thou art a successful merry knave, BRAINWORM, his absence will be a good subject for more mirth. I pray thee, return to thy young master, and will him to meet me, and my sister BRIDGET, at the tower instantly: for, here, tell him, the house is so stored with jealousy, there is no room for love, to stand upright in. We must get our Fortune's committed to some larger prison, say; and, then the tower, I know no better air: nor where the liberty of the house may do us more present service. Away. Indeed, sister, to ask how he employs COB, is a necessary question for you, that are his wife, and a thing not very easy for you to be satisfied in us: but this I'll assure you, COBS wife is and excellent bawd, sister, and, oftentimes, your husband hants her house, marry, to what end, I can not altogether accuse him, imagine you what you think convenient. But, I have known, fair hides have foul hearts, Ever now, sister. So, let hem go: this may make sport anon. Now, my fair sister inlaw, that you knew, but how happy a thing it were to be fair, and beautiful? That's true; that's even the fault of it: for indeed, beauty stands a woman in no stead, unless it procure her touching. But, sister, whither it touch you, or no, it touches your beauty's; and, I am sure, they will abide the touch; and they do not, a plague of all ceruse, say I: and, it touches me to in partly, though not in the — Well, there's a deer and respected friend of mine, sister, stands very strongly, and worthily affected towards you, and hath vowed to inflame whole bonfires of zeal, at his heart, in honour of your perfections. I have already engaged my promise to bring you, where you shall hear him confirm much more. NED KNO'WELL is the man, sister. There's no exception against the party. You are ripe for a husband; and a minutes lose to such and occasion, is a great trespass in a wise beauty. What say you, sister? On my soul he loves you. Will you give him the meeting? What's that, sister? No matter if it did, I would be such and one for my friend, but see! who is returned to hinder us? I'll tell you, brother, whither I suspect she's gone. To COBS house, I believe: but, keep my counsel. Yes, sir, let me pray you for this gentleman, he belongs, to my sister, the bride. Of her delight, sir, below the stairs, and in public: her poet , sir. He is not for extempore , sir. He is all for the pocket- muse , please you command a sighed of it. You must not deny the Queens Justice, Sir, under a writ of rebellion.