CLEMENT

'Hart of me! what made him leave us so abruptly! How now, sirrah? what make you here? what would you have, would? A poor neighbour of mine? why, speak poor neighbour. To the green lattice? Oh, well! what business ha my poor neighbour with me? Of me knave? peace of me, knave? did I ever hurt thee? or threaten thee? or wrong thee? would? Thou goest far enough about for't, I am sure. How? how knave? swear he killed thee? and by the law? what pretence? what colour hast thou for that? What is he, that gave you this, sirrah? A soldier of the city? What call you him? BOBADIL? And why did he bob, and beat you, sirrah? How began the quarrel betwixt you? would: speak truly knave, I advise you. Would? you speak against tobacco ? FORMAL, his name. Tell OLIVER COB, he shall go to the jail, FORMAL. Nay, gods precious: and such drunkards, and tankards, as you are, come to dispute of tobacco once; I have done! away with him. What? a threadbare rascal! a beggar! a slave that never drunk out of better then pisse-pot mettle in his life! and he to deprave, and abuse the virtue of and herb, so generally received in the courts of princes, the chambers of nobles, the bowers of sweet ladies, the cabins of soldiers! ROGER, away with him, by gods precious—I say, go too. ROGER, make him a warrant (he shall not go) I but fear the knave. Away, dispatch him. How now, master KNO'WEL! In dumps? In dumps? Come, this becomes not. Your cares are nothing! they are Like my cap, soon put on, and as soon put off. What? your son is old enough, to govern himself: let him run his course, it's the only way to make him a stayed man. If he were and unthrift, a ruffian, a drunkard, or a licentious liver, then you had reason; you had reason to take care: but, being none of these, mirth's my witness, and I had twice so many cares, as you have, I'd drown them all in a cup of sack. Come, come, let's try it: I muse, your parcel of a soldier returns not all this while. WEll sister, I tell you true: and you'll find it so, in the end. But, who directed you, thither? Where is he? My dark? about what time, was this? And, what time came my man with the false message to you, master KITELY? Very good: but, mistress KITELY, how that you were at Cons? would? So it appears, me thinks: but, on. No matter, so he used himself well, mistress. I see, rank fruits of a jealous brain, mistress KITELY: but, did you find your husband there, in that case, as you suspected? Did you so? that alters the case. Who gave you knowledge, of your wives being there? How? WELLBRED first tell her? then tell you, after? where is WELLBRED? Why, this is a mere trick, a device; you are gulled in this most grossly, all! alas, poor wench, Wertenberg thou beaten for this? I, that's Like, and a piece of a sentence. How now, sir? what's the matter? A gentleman? what's he? A soldier? take down my armour, my sword, quickly: a soul dier speak with me! why, when knaves? come on, come on, hold my cap there, so; give me my gorget, my sword: stand by, I will end your matters, anou—Let the soldier enter, now, sir, what ha'you to say to me? BY your worships favour— Nay, keep out, sir, I know not your pretence, you send me word, sir, you are a soldier: why, sir, you shall be answered, here, here be them have been amongst soldiers. Sir, your pleasure. Oh, gods precious! is this the soldier? here, take my armour of quickly, it'll make him swonne, I fear; he is not it to look on't, that will put up a blow. Why, and he were, sir, his hands were not bound, were they? My warrant? Bid him, come in. Set by this picture. What, M r . DOWNRIGHT! are you brought at M r . FRESHWATERS suit, here! I Faith, sir. And here's another brought at my suit. What are you, sir? Uncle? who? master KNO'W LL? Well, let this breath a while; you, that have cause to come plain, there, stand forth: had you my warrant for this gentleman's apprehension? Nay, do not speak in passion so: where had you it? That's well! and my clarke can make warrants, and my hand not at them! Where is the warrant? Officer, have you it? Why, master DOWNRIGHT, are you such a novice, to be served, and never see the warrant? No? how then? Oh, gods pity, was it so, sir? he must serve it? give me my longsword there, and help me of; so. Come on, sir varlet, I must ut off your legs, sirrah: nay, stand up, I'll use you kindly; I must ut off your legs, I say. I must do it; there is no remedy. I must cut off your legs, sirrah, I must cut off your ears, you rascal, I must do it; I must cut off your nose, I must cut off your head. Well, rise, how dost thou do, now? dost thou feel thy self well? hast thou no harm? Why, so! I said, I must cut off thy legs, and I must cut off thy arms, and I must cut off thy head; but, I did not do it: so, you said, you must serve this gentleman, with my warrant, but, you did not serve him. You knave, you slave, you rogue, do you say you must? sirrah, a way with him, to the jail, I'll teach you a trick, for your must , sir. Tell him he shall to the jail, away with him, I say How is this! I told you all, there was some device! Body o'me, a merry knave! Give me a bowl of sack: If he belong to you, master KNO'WELL, I bespeak your patience. Marry, that will I (I thank thee, for putting me in mind oh it.) Sirrah, go you, and fetch them hither, upon my warrant. Neithers friends have cause to be orry, if I know the young couple, aright. Here, I drink to thee, for thy good news. But, I pray thee, what hast thou done with my man FORMAL. And I will consider thee, in another cup of sack. Here's to thee, which having drunk of, this is my sentence. Pledge me. Thou hast done, or assisted to nothing, in my judgement, but deserves to be pardoned for the wit of the offence. If thy master, or any man, here, be angry with thee, I shall suspect his engine, while I know him for't. How now? what noise is that! Bring him in, bring him in. What! drunk in arms, against me? Your reason, your reason for this. I Beseech your worship to pardon me; I happened into ill company by chance, that cast me into a sleep, and stripped me of all my clothes— Well, tell him, I am Justice CLEMENT, and do pardon him: but, what is this to your armour! what may that signify? Well, stand by a while. Who be these? Oh, the young compa nigh, welcome, welcome. give you joy. Nay, mistress BRIDGET, blush not; you are not so fresh a bride, but the news of it is come hither a over you. Master Bridegroom, I have made your peace, give me your hand: so will I for all the rest, ere you forsake my roof. WE are the more bound to your humanity, sir. Only these two, have so little of man in them, they are no partly of my care. In what place, sir? A poet ? I will challenge him my self, presently, at extempore. Mount up thy Phlegon muse, and testify, How SATURN , sitting in and bo cloud, Disro ed his podex white as ivory, And, through the welkin, thundered all aloud. Mount up thy Phlegon muse, and testify, How SATURN , sitting in and bo cloud, Disro ed his podex white as ivory, And, through the welkin, thundered all aloud. Yes, yes, search him for a taste of his vein. What! all this verse? Body of me, he carries a whole realm, a commonwealth of paper, in's hose! let's see some of his subjects! Unto the boundless Ocean of thy face, Runs this poor ri er changed with streams of eyes. How? this is stolen! Unto the boundless Ocean of thy face, Runs this poor ri er changed with streams of eyes. Is all the rest, of this batch? Being me a torch; lay it together, and give e. Cleanse the air. He was enough to have infected, the whole city, if it had not been taken in time! See, see, how our Poets glow rye shines! brighter, and brighter! ull it increases! O, now, it's at the highest: and, now, it declines as fast. You may see. Sic transi gloriam mundi. Nay, no speech, or act of mine be drawn against such as pro fesse it worthily. They are not born eum rye year, as and Alderman. There goes more to the making of a good Poet , then a Sheriff, M r . KITELY. You look upon me! though, I live in the city here, amongst you, I will do more reverence, to him, when I meet him, then I will to the Major, out of his year. But, these paper-pedlars! these inke-dablers! They cannot expect reprehension, or reproach. They have it with the fact. It shall be discourse for supper; between your father and me, if he dare undertake me. But, to dispatch away these, you sign of the Soldier, and picture of the Poet (but, both so false, I will not have you hanged out at my door till midnight) while we are at supper, you two shall penitently fa it out in my court, without; and, if you will, you may pray there, that we may be so merry within, as to forgive, or forget you when we come out. Here's a third, because, we tender your safety, shall watch you, he is provided for the purpose. Look to your change, sir. Oh! I had lost a sheep, and he had not bleated! Why, sir, you shall give M r . DOWNRIGHT his cloak: and I will entreat him to take it. A trencher, and a napkin, you shall have, in the buttery, and keep COB, and his wife company, here; whom, I will entreat first to be reconciled: and you to endeavour with your wit, to keep them so. Good compliment! It will be their bridal night too. They are married anew. Come, I conjure the rest, to put of all discontent. You, M r . DOWNRIGHT, your anger; you, master KNO'WELL, your cares; master KITELY, and his wife, their jealousy. For, I must tell you both, while that is fed, Horns in the mind are worse then of the head. It's well, it's well! This night wee'll dedicate to friendship, love, and laughter. Master bridegroom, take your bride, and lead: e very one, a fellow. Here is my mistress. BRAYME-WORME! to whom all my addresses of courtship shall have their reference. Whose adventures, this day, when our grandchildren shall hear to be made a fable, I doubt not, but it shall find both spectators, and applause.