POLITES

And I, that you may have good Citizens. You have disposed your observations by heads! have you not? And what may the sum of them be? Hum, the method is sufficiently approoueable: but I Like that very well that you place Policy first; and would wish you to prosecute that fully, with the most subtle exami nations of your purest judgement: it'll be worth your tram vail: and it's a main fault of your common Geographers, that nowadays do rather garnish the margine of a Map, then materially describe it; and only draw a company of lines through it; as if they had rid over the Country to take notice only of the highways; which yet a Carriers Horse knows better then they; neglecting in the mean time more solid observations; whilst their fancies (I will not say judge ments) are weakly satisfied with these fruitless superficiality; not unlike your sedentary Students, who for the attaining of a little glory with some few less judicious of their own Sect, stirred up with a contemplative ambition, earnestly prosecute those studies, which themselves shall never reduce unto pra ctice, in the actions of their life. As what? But how could you come unto the knowledge of them? Proceed. Who? to his Lord? Proceed then. What device was therein this? All this bears a joust probability of truth. Well, Geographus, we shall take a further notice of your wants and worth; and since you have ingeniously discovered both your free education, present state, and unavoidable affection to Astronomia, and, as you say, hers mutually to you, I shall, I trust, effectually, in your behalf, remove the unwilling ness of her Mother Physica. But withal, I hold it a course, not altogether without Policy, to inquire of Astronomia, the dislikes, for which she does except against you, and therein by a praeuenient discretion, exactly to manifest a reformation; for this time the expectation of some business admits not a further continuance of our discourse. A Gentleman of parts worth the taking notice of; well, such wits must be nourished: it's the saying of my Taci tus: Ingenia, studi que oppresseris faciliùs quam reuocaueris; & I re member he there shows and analogy between men's wits and their bodies: They are (says he) both of them long a ma king, but soon marred. And indeed, young wits that are worth the nourishing, when they see themselves neglected, are too-too prove to fallen to desperate resolutions, arguing thus with themselves, That if Virtue and Learning cannot advance them; by a reason from the contrary, neither Vice nor Ignorance can debase them; thus from bade premises draw king a worse conclusion, they overthrow in a moment the workmanship of many years. But my Kinswoman Historiam said she would be here by this. O, here she comes. Now Cousin, what? always sad? always sad? I? Cousin? how? how? Why Cousin? my declamations have been one lie against his faults, not his person, and so far — Why, but why should you regard him, when it seems he little regards you? I but he bears love to Astronomia. Well, Cousin, then what is the employment wherewith you will task me? Well, Cousin, you have now enough admonished me, entreated me, wooed me, and in a word won me: re far the finding out of means, and the accomplishing of your desire to the privacy of my meditations. And that shall not perish if I can save it. There are many accusations in against this Poeta, and some of them I perceive will be prosecuted; he has bade, and good parts; he has a wild head, yet may be reformed, and then there's a man saved: a good purchase; nay, Historiam is saved, that's a dou ble. Well, then since I must love him, I will save him: if he prove good, I win two; if bade, it'll be but the lose of one, of Historiam; who already professes, that, without him, she shall be lost. O, I'm so hight, I could drink a whole River of water. How now! what new contention's this? What new face of impudent villainy is this, which does appear unto us? Oh thou Monster of a double tongue and heart. Varlet, thou prophaner of Justice! pardon? Varlet, abuse not mine honest name with that mouth: with what face canst thou ask for mercy, unless thou hadst another face too? with what tongue wilt thou beg for mercy, unless thou hast a third! with what heart wilt thou manifest a truth of sorrow, unless thou hast a third also? do not speak, kneel, mutter; one Lawyer come to plead two causes? Oh new confidence! stand aside, thy absence per adventure might sooner cause us to forget thy crime: then thy presence, though with most fawning dissimulation, to pardon it: Logicus, you are the accuser; propose your own cause; then shall Poeta answer for himself; and lastly, Gram maticus your witness, shall allege what he knows. Begin, Logicus. Fie, Logicus, fie, fie; how shamefully you wrong your self, by these unseemly terms? beside, the Gentle men worth is well known. All the gods forbid; ah deer Astronomia, grief upon grief still: Indeed Musicam, thou wast and unfit Messen her for such sad news: for this contention, it must rest unde cided till another occasion. Causidicus, I warn you to be in a readiness to appear, when you are sent for. I, but I'm persuaded he will be so regular, he will never go beyond the prescribed bounds of her will; come, you shall see, she will so encompass him, that he shall never get out. Will you be willing, on that condition, to yield your consent, that he shall have her? Well then, I'll hasten a speedy celebration of this marriage: for I'll make him discard his Phantastes immediate lie; 'twas somewhat tolerable to entertain such a giddy Counselor, whilst be was unmarried; but hereafter assure your self he will be more stayed: and consider, Physica, that though he have been a Traveler, yet he is now come home, and I hope not only to his Country, but to himself. Come then, let's in. FAirest Rhetorica, will the pride of your beauty still tyrant nize? will it be still in the Imperative Mood? and shall my languishing desire be always in the unhappy Optative? let me go a little further, and come at last to the Potential. Physica, you now behold the blessed union of your dearest child. What's the matter there? Come, let him alone, let him alone, this once; hee'll sooner shift to see such a toy then a better thing: but wise men's marriages nowadays can be thriftily celebrated with out Fiddlers. Silence: Since the gods have afforded us the hap pinesse of so frequent and Assembly, I think it the next hap pinesse to use a prevenient discretion, upon this offered occasi on, for the reformation of some dangerous abuses, which most stealingly have crept into the commonwealth: and therefore are the more dangerous, by how much they are the more secret. Magus and Astrologiam, depart the Bench. Obey, or justice shall be violent to enforce you. Choler, are the two rogues, Physiognomus, and Cheiromantes apprehended, as I gave command? Let them be brought in then; and with them Caused sidicus. Exit Choler. Medicus, leave the bench. Thine own actions, and thy man Sanguis shall cry loud against thee. Physiognomus, and Cheiromantes, do you know this Gentleman? He points to Poeta. And did you never know a purse of his? Well, your own confession proclaims your gilded; Justice, therefore awards you this sentence. Thou Physiogue mus, that thou mayest never look any man in the Face more, shalt be burned in the forehead for a Rogue, that so every one may know thee by thy Physiognomy— Cheiromantes, since thou hast had a Hand in this matter too, thou shalt be burned in the hand, and then both of you shall be banished the Come mon-wealth of the Sciences.— Choler, take them away. Geometres, did not Magus offer by Magic and love-cups to procure you the love of Astronomia? And Geometres, did not you see Astrologiam at the Banquet at Ethicus his house, cast a powder into Astronomia's drink? Why then, justice must proceed upon you. Melancholico and Sanguis lay ands upon them presently, search their pockets, and take out certain Rings if they have any. Magus, because thy profoundest villainy was wrought by a Circle; in stead of and endless punishment Like thy Circle, here thou shalt be broken upon a wheel, and of terwards the gods no doubt will adjudge thee for ever to sup ply Ixion's room, by turning his wheel. Thou Astrologiam, shalt not as yet be determined on, but cast into a close Prison, that thou mayest never more behold the Heavens, but be tor tur continually with a perpetual anxiety, and expectati on of thy fate. I may not without a danger to the Commonwealth. Depart then the Commonwealth for ever. Medicus, did not you send Poison in stead of Physic to Poeta being sick? Well, as if he had any reason to have done so, with out underhand notice from you? do not deprive your self of and hope of pardon by and unjust pretence of innocence. What canst thou say for thy self, that judgement should not proceed against thee? O, the confident ignorance of beggarly Empe ricks! Well, stand aside a little: Causidicus, can thy two tongues, make one honest defence for the justifying of thy self? what canst thou allege that judgement should not pro ceed against thee? Thou canst not have it. Thou canst not have it. Well then, I award thee this merciful judgement: because, Causidicus, after seven years practice of the Law (for so long thou hast, I know not how justly, gone under that title) thou hast deserved to hold up thy hand at the Bar, when thou shouldst have been the defender of Justice, thou shalt henceforth be called a Barrister; till by thy honest plea ding you redeem your self from that name; and hereafter when any of thy Profession plead Causes, they shall, in the admonishing remembrance of thy crime, plead at a Bar—; and that thy pleading of two Causes may be remembered, thou shalt wear, &c.—For you, Medicus, because you did happily recover Astronomia — We pardon your offence: and thus upon your Good-behaviour we will suffer you both in the Commonwealth; but with this caution, that if ever you come by your Learning to any degrees in the University of our Commonwealth, (that you may for ever be distinguished from other men) because you have not been found Viri quadrati, Square and upright men; you shall be enjoined to wear Round Caps. But, Medicus, see you love your man Sanguis, though this your crime was detected by him: I say, Sanguis is and honest servant, and more faithful to the whole Body of the Commonwealth, then any one Corrupt Member. Depart, and henceforth abuse not our mercy. Thus, as in a natural body, the first way to health, is by removing all more dangerous corruptions; and the second, by reducing the humours to a composed temperature: the first is already performed, and now it remains that we temper our selves. Most honoured Citizens, I am not ignorant either of your contentions or loves: the first of which, as I would labour to dissolve: so to unite the last; if your selves will be pleased but to refer the composing of your different ces to my unpartial censure. The gods add the happiness of success to my determinations. First, then Poeta, Logicus, and Grammaticus, you shall bury all former contentions in a perpetual in non-Latin alphabet , or oblivion, and then I thus proceed: For you Geometres, I am sorry that that Villain Magus did so far seduce you; but we all rejoice at your recovery: and since Geographus has obtained Astronomia, embrace you courteously the love of A rithmitica. I'm sure ever since you have both been of years of discretion, you have been acquainted: and beside, Geo metres, there is not any man in the World, whom she makes more account of then your self: and therefore I will not say, ut ameris ama, love her, that she may love you; but Quia ama ris ama. Love because you are first loved; nay, it's a joust gram titude, which also is a love, and so you shall double it. Briefly, if there be any point, Geometres, which you stand upon, know you remain still at Ods; but if you embrace the love of A rithmetica, you'll be at a perfect unity. Poeta, you have partly yielded to me in private a consent to the embracing of Historia's love, which if you shall publicly confess, and so confirm, you shall not only get a Wife, but a friend; and what honour Polites may do, to Poeta, love and opportunity shall unitedly perform. As for you, Grammaticus, I understand of your great affection to Rhetorica; who though she loves Logicus, yet because he loves not her mutually (which must be requi read between such pairs) and that Rhetorica had showed some kind of affection towards Grammaticus, with my best desires I will join you two; and the rather to induce a willingness in you, Rhetorica, I would have you not forget, how Gramma ticus and you have been brought up from Children together, and Schoolfellows, and take this for a rule: Change not and old friend. Yield Rhetorica, yield, let Physica entreat thee. You Logicus, if you'll leave your contentions, would ving no desire, as I perceive, to marry— We will assume you for your approved under standing— As and assistant to our self. For your man Phlegma tico, if he will win Polites his love, let him leave his Tobacco. And Grammaticus, for your man, let him bridle his Choler. Now my counsel shall be, that you, Ethicus, and Oe conoma, would vouchsafe to give good advice to Poeta and Historiam: and you, honoured Physica, to your happy children Geographus and Astronomia: for Grammaticus and Rhetorica their Tongues will always agree, and then I think they can hardly fallen out: and for Geometres and Arithmeticam, I likewise know they will be very Regular, and now all's composed; and yet, now I think on't, it is not, for yonder Melancholico stands sad, and alone, amongst all these matches: and yet it is better thought on; yonder's Musicam too: now surely a fit match; but they shall be henceforth for their ingenuity, both exempt from servitude, and made joint fellows with our selves. I yield unto it. And now most honoured Citizens, when our aged and retired Prince Metaphysicus (whose Deputy only I am, and from whom, as from our Sovereign, we hold all we have) when, I say, he shall hear of these happy combinations, what a content may we conceive he will conceit at the report? and for your selves, you may more easily enjoy your felicity, then I express it; and my endeavours also shall not receive a small encouragement, when the Royal bounty of his May sty shall take notice, that these things were done by me. Poeta, you shall give me leave, for con clusion of my speech, to usurp two Verses, which I have herd you often speak. He can be Advocate but for one: ask him whose he is.