CHEIROMANTES

Gentle Ruler of this place, if so you be, vouchsafe to favour us in the way of truth for the gods cause. Marry, Sir, a book, and that I think is a sign of a Scholar; but I have a purse too, and that, I think, is not a sign of a Scholar. Nay, I'll swear, we both ran since I Nimbed it, that we durst not be so bold yet, as to take leisure to look in't, but now I'll see. A fire burn it; here's nothing but a scurvy paper. I, in-faith, I have the trick on't: for (a rapture of love seizing on him, and casting him into and ecstasy) he fell a tal king to himself of a dream he had: I seeing he was fallen in to a Dream, persuaded my self he was fast asleep; and so presumptuously dived into his pockets, whence I brought these spoils. What a Rogue's this? he laughs at us in his Dream. He will swear by the Great. You shall not need to make a short Verse to that Sir: weel be very short with you. He is about to pick his pocket. Beshrew his drunken fingers; Magus you have not charmed him well. A murren on't, here's nothing but a Purse with a paper in't. Nay, by this Hand, I hold them to be everlasting villains. I, and I know the rascal to have a soft and moist Hand, by which I also infallibly know he loves: for take a Poet without his wine & his wench; and if he make not dry, pitiful dry Verses, I'll forswear Fortunetelling as long as I live. Here comes some body, Physiognomus; set a good Face on't and Affront him; and I'll set my Fingers a work, presently. I'm sure thou lookest as read as fire; I think all the Blood in thy body is in thy face. Of me? what? I defy mine accusers, and I call honesty it self to witness, that I get my living by my fingers ends. We three will set upon the next man we meet. My Hand shall be always ready to help my friend. Oh my hand! my hand! Oh you rogue, you bow it quite double almost. Work. (Choler drinks) Physiognomus, will you taste this liquour? Try me. Come on, let me see your hand, sweet Musicam: you shall be beloved of two, a Courtier and a Scholar; you shall love the Courtier more; but the Scholar shall have you; and it shall so come to pass, that the Courtier shall afterwards be your servant: your husband shall be exceeding melancholy: you shall have three sons; the first shall be called by his fa the name (but I know not what that shall be) and he shall be extreme discontent and solitary; and if he prevent a con sumption, he may live till forty; for longer he cannot, being of a cold and dry constitution: the second shall be called Ti mido, and hee'll be endanger of being bit with a mad dog; which if he escape, he may live till fifty: the third shall be call led Jucundo; the other two took after their father; but hee'll take after his mother; he will be exceedingly given to good cheer, music, and women: he will be in danger of a Surfeit; and of Fire; and if he escape these two, especially burning, he may live to be and old man. You, Phlegmatico; it'll be long ere you can get you a wife; yet you'll have one, and one daughter; the child will die very young, of the black Jaundice, and your wife of the dropsy. I'll tell you yours in your ear. He whispers in Melancholi co's ear. Thus it's then. He whispers in his ear. Why, this it's: You, Choler, shall be somewhat happy in your wife: her name shall be Poenitentiam; you shall have two children; and one shall take only after you, his name shall be Furioso. He shall die in his young age, in and Alehouse, of a stab in at the mouth, which shall pass thorough his tongue, and brains. The other child shall be a daughter; she shall take after her mother; her name shall be Lacryma, a modest sober girl, and one that shall be well beloved by wise men. O, stark nought, stark nought; I'll conceal them. Oh my arm, my arm! Come on Melancholico. Fare you well: I'm glad they are all gone, I have God some what. The pair of Bells which Melancholico would not wear. Nay, I've the slight of the hand exactly; if I steal not some what where ere we come, let me be hanged: come, Boys, wee'll have some liquour for these Iinglers: faith, Sang vis, we must take a Cup or two before you go to Magus. Fie, fie, forsake thy liquour? 'twil breed good blood: Sanguis, it'll breed good blood: Come along Boys. I Do find my self at this present affected with that which should not touch a good Magistrate, and unwillingness to do Justice: yet I profess it proceeds not from a desire to be injurious, but merciful; not for and ill-will to either, but a love to both. Whilst heretofore, I understood of this dissen cion, as I was somewhat cast down with sorrow, so I was rai said with and hope of happy reconcilement, but now that hope also which before was the cause of and uncertain joy, is become the ground of my most certain grief; and the rather to see the state of our most blessed Commonwealth (which the gods have decreed shall be eternal, if our selves hinder not) to be thus torn with our civil Discords. You are not igno rant of the miraculous means which the gods have used in raising us to this greatness: not by riches, but poverty; not by plenty, but want; that what to others has been the occa sion of disgrace, has to us been the means of our present honour: It is the observation of the Grecians, Tacitus, and truest Oracle of Greece, Thucydides, that the Athenians Come mon-wealth was not raised to that glory (Like the rest of Greece ) by the fruitfulness but barrenness of the soil: for which cause whilst the Inhabitants lived secure from the in uasion of Borderers, others growing rich, were at last con summed by their own dissensions: so that for the avoiding of public disturbance, when any were afflicted, they retired to the Athenians, with what they had left, before all were lost; who as they did partake of the Athenians security, so mutu Alley offered to the Athenians the participation of their wealth: the Like I may say of our present estate; we have not sought unto others; yet who have not sought to us? we had nothing, yet what want we, unless it be a moderation of our felicity? All other Mechanic faculties, of whatsoever Corporati ons, have they not forsook themselves to retire to us? and yielded up their estates, which they thought unhappy, to re ceiue them as and happiness from our bounty? I speak not these things unto you as and instructer, but a remembrancer: Not to impose on you a new belief beyond your experience, but to imprint in your minds a joust consideration of your dangerous contention. I have yet but begun to speak; but sorrow is a bade Orator, and I must continue my speech with a silent Rhetoric. He speaks this aside to Caused. In good faith, I had the prettiest dream that ever you herd, me thought as I was about to pick a fellows pocket, he struck me quite thorough the hand with a knife, and leaving the knife in my hand, thrust his hand into my pocket and picked it, and so punished me, as I have punished oh the many a time. Yes, Sir. I protest unto your Honour, there was nothing but a few idle papers in't, but not a penny of money. Sure then, Sir, you put it forth again before you came forth. And I'll quickly bite it out of my hand again. We scorn to escape this punishment. Exeunt Choler, Physiog. Cheiro. The broad eye of the Heavens still attend you Sir. And sweep your house clean Sir. And the blessed father of many children. And that you may never pare your nails upon a Friday. And that your Stables may be always free from the queen of the Goblins. That a yellow Death-mould may never appear upon your hand, or any partly of your body. That you may— No by Salomon, unless it be Strommell sometime in a Skipper; we had rather Maund then Mill to keep us from Trining. Ah, your good vrship, to cover our Quarommes, that our wants may not driven us to the Chates — let me see your Famble good Master. Ah good Master well and wisely, give me but and old sheet against the cold, or and old Petticoat or smock of my Mistress's (Heaven save her life) for my poor Doxy. Cheiromantes, an't Like your good vrship. We can tell the will of the Heavens good Master; we can tell your fortune, Master. You shall have a very fair wife. No History ever made mention of so fair a one; she shall be as beautiful as the Stars. It is the decree of the gods Sir. You shall have many children, and one of them shall be born with Teeth in his head, and his name shall be Satyrico. Nor we; for the quarrel was not ours. Let now a deep And moistening sleep His watch here keep. Well, we'll wait his leisure.