CAPTAIN BONVILE

Credit me, no; my revenues were a thousand a year, partly of which I lavish' amongst gallants, rioted in Ta vernes, havockt in Ordinaries; and when my estate began oh ebb, as my last refuge, I laid all my Hope's upon the last wars, but failing there, (as the world imagins) I am returned as you see. The King hath promised supply and relief to all that have spent their estates in his expeditions, but many Like my self have been born to be poor, that scorn to be beg gars; as many have been born to be rich, that can never leave it; the truth is, I am my self as my proceedings will express me further. Your speech being ended, now comes in my cue. My honourable Lord. Beggar my Lord? I never begged of you: But were I a beggar, I might be a Courtiers fellow: Could I beg suits my Lord as well as you, I needs not go thus clad; or were you free From begging as I am, you might rank me. Folly and pride In Silks and Lace their imperfections show, But let p re virtue come in garments torn To beg relief she gets a courtly scorn: My Lord you know me? Why it's the same it was, it is no changeling, It bears the selfsame front; it's not Like yours, Paled with the least disgrace, or passed with brags, That smiles upon gay clothes, and frowns on rags. Mine steadfast as the Sun, and free as ; Whose equal eyes look upon want and state. Only that you would know me: the K ngs favour hath made you a Baron, and the Kings wars have made me a bore one: there's less difference in the Accent of the word, than in the cost of our weeds: This is the same face you were once acquainted with though not the same habit: I could know your face, though your diseased body were wrapped in sheepskins. Go churl, pass e free, Thou knowest my forfeit lands, though forgettest me: Nay, you would be going too, you are as aff aid of a torn suit, as a younger brother of a Sergeant, a rich corn-master of a plentiful year, or a troublesome Attourney to hear of suits put to compremize. Sir. I must challenge you, you are my kinsman; My Grandsir was the first that raised the name Of Bonneville to this height, but Lord to see That you are grown a Lord, and know not me. Yet I can purchase that, which all the wealth you have will never win you. Wit: is the word strange to you, wit? True, Wit will to many e eit come to you. Have you the wit to doo't? I have wit to buy, And you to fell, which is the greater gain? Cousin I'll keep my wealth, keep you your brain. The wealth of Midas choke thee ere th'art old, And even the bred thou feedest on change to gold. My Lord, you hear how I pray for my Kindred, I have a little more charity for my friend: with you I have some b sinesse. I pray you stay. Pardon, for here's no way Before you hear me. Your daughter lives I hope. Somewhat it'll prove, e and concerning me; Before I laid my Fortune's on these wars. And was in hope to thrive, by your con ent, Nay, by your motion our united hearts Were made more firm by contract; well you know We were betrothed. I do, and thus proceed: I was in hope to have raised my Fortune's high, And with them to have pulled her by degrees Unto that eminence at which I aim: I ventured for it, but instead of wealth I purchased nought but wounds. Honour I had, And the repute of valour; but my Lord, These simply of themselves are naked Titles, Respectless, without price, and bombast wealth, And to the purblind world show seeming bade, Behold in me their shapes, they thus go clad. All that I had, I spent upon my Soldiers, we took no spoil. The wars have grated on me even to this That you now see: Now my last refuge is, To raise my self by her. I have one to show. The world's all of one heart, this blaze I can, All love the money, none esteems the man. These be our friends at Court, and fine ones too, Are they not pray? where be our followers? You see how our friends grace us, what Hope's we have to prefer you? All leave me if you please; but him that stays, If ever I mount, I'll with my Fortune's raise. Wilt thou go too? Gramercy yet, away without reply? Away, sfoot how am I fallen out of my humour? and yet this strangeness of my nearest friends and alliance de serves a little cotemplating; is't possible, that even Lords, that have the best educating, whose ears are frequent to the most fluent discourse, that live in the very brain of the Land, the Court, that these should be gulled with shadows, and not be able to distinguish a man when they see him; thou know est me, yet these do not. These superficial Lords that think every thing to be as it appears, they never question a men wit, his discre cion, his language, his inward virtues, but as he seems, he passes. The next I try is my betrothed, if she acknowledge this hand that hath received hers, this heart, this face, and knows the person from the garment, I shall say, Woman, there is more virtue in thee than Man. My virtue is not to be imitated; I'll hold my pur pose though I be kept back, and venture lashing in the Por ters Lodge. Come, follow me, I will go see my Mistress, Though girt with all the Ladies of the court: Though ragged Virtue oft may be kept out, No grate so strongly kept above the Centre, But Asses with gold laden, free may en er. Attend me sirrah into the presence, and if any of the Guard repulse thee, regard him not. My duty to the Prince, Madam your favour, Lord Martial, yours. Lady, your lip. You are not ashamed to acknowledge me in this good company: I have brought thee all that the wars have left of me; were I better worth, 'twere all thine; thou canst have no more of the Cat but his skin, I have brought thee home the same eyes that first saw thee, the same tongue that first courted thee, the same hand that first contracted thee, and the same heart that firs affected thee: More I have not, less I cannot: nay quickly sweet W nch, and let me know what to trust to. Why God amerey Wench: come sirrah. Sir, now attend me, I'll to the Ordinary, And see if any of my ancient friends will take note of me. Where's the good man? within? And Host? where? which way march they? Here take my cloak, what is't not Dinner-time? Are there no gallants come yet? Here do I mean to cranch, to munch, to eat, To feed, and be fat my fine Cullapolis. Sirrah, if your house be free for Gentlemen, it is fit for me; thou seest I keep my man, I've Crowns to spend with him that's bravest here: I'll keep my room in spite of Silks and Satins. There's never a silken outside in this company That dares present a foot to do that office: I'll toss that heel a yard above his head That offers but a spurn. I am a man Like you perhaps well bred, Nor want I coin, for hark, my pockets chink: I keep my man to attend me more perhaps, Than some can do that go in costly Silk Are you so fearful of a ragged suit? They were first paid for ever they were put on; A man may question whither yours were so. Who kicks first, would, come; have you mind to game? I'll cast, or set at thus much; will you carded A rest for this? no? then let's to dinner: Come serve in meat. Mine Host, thou knewest me in my flourishing prime: I was the first brought custom to thine house, Most of my means I spent here to enrich thee; And to set thee up, I've cast down my self. The Lease of this house hadst thou not from me? Did I not give thee both the Fine and Rend? And is not all this worth the trusting for and Ordinary? Since you hate calms, and will move stormy weather, Now Host and guest shall all down stairs together. Come Cock I have took some of their stomachs away from them before Dinner. The humours of Court, City, Camp, and Country I have traced, and in them can find no man, but money; all subscribe to this Motto, Malo pecuniam viro. O poverty, thou are esteemed a sin worse than whoredom, gluttony, extortion, or usury: And earthy gold, thou art preferred before Heaven. Let but a poor man in a threadbare suit, Or ragged as I am, appear at Court, The fine-nosed Courtiers will not sent him; no, They shun the way as if they met the Pest: Or if he have a suit, it strikes them deaf, They cannot hear of that side. The Country hath alliance with the rest: my pur pose is now I have so thoroughly made proof of the humours of men, I will next assay the dispositions of women, not of the choicest, but of those whom we call good wen ches. Ther's for you sirrah; does not the world wonder I should be so flush of money, and so bore in clothes? the rea son of this I shall give account for hereafter: But to our pur pose, here they say dwells my Lady Bawdy-face, here will we knock. Sweet Lady we would enter; nay by your leave. And yet we are soldiers, and have ventured upon as hight service as this place affords any. Nay, pray give way. We must forbear, the gallants are out of patience, stand aside. It's general thorough the world, each state esteems A man not what he is, but what he seems: The purest flesh raged can no entrance have, But It'ch and all disease if it come brave, Wide open stand the gates of lust and sin, And those at which the wide world enters in. Madam, to be short, I must have a wench, though I am rag ged outward, I am rich inward: here's a brace of Angels for you, let me have a pretty wench, I'll be as bountiful to her. I le make bold to enter. Why shall we not be bosomed? have we paid, and must we not have wenches? I'll have both, these are mine. Both these are mine, we are agreed then? But I am ashamed, being such a tattered rogue, to lie with two such fine gentlewomen; beside, to tell you truly, I am lousy. But I have a worse fault, my skin's not perfect; What should I say I am? Worse than all these, my body is diseased, I shall infect yours. You are not women, you are devils both, And that your Dam; my body save in wars, Is yet unskarr'd, nor shall it be with you. Say the last leacher that embraced you here, And folded in his arms your rottenness, Had been all these, would you not all that filth Vomit on me? or who would buy diseases, And make his body for a Spittle fit, That may walk found? I came to school you Whore, Not to corrupt you; for what needs I that When you are all corruption; be he lame, Have he no Nose, be all his body stung With the French Fly, with the Sarpego dried: Be he a Lazar, or a Leper, bring Coin in his fist, he shall embrace your lust Before the purest flesh that sues of trust. He shamed not to come out, but held it sin Not to be pardoned to be seen go in. But I'll be modest: nay, nay, keep your Gold To cure those hight diseases you have God, And being once clear, betake you to one man, And study to be honest, that's my counsel: You have brought many Like you Gentlemen That jet in Silks, to go thus ragged Like us, Which did they own our thoughts, these rags would change To shine as we shall, though you think it strange. Come, come, this house is infected, shall we go? Leave me, and leave me ever, and observe This rule from me, where there is lodged a Whore, Think the Plagues cross is set upon that door. Sirrah, are all my lands out of mortgage, and my deeds redeemed? Why then it's done, I am possessed again Of all my Father's ancient revenues. Questionless that;. for now those that before de spis'd us, and our company, at meeting give us the bonjour. O Heaven, thou ever art Virtues sole Patron, And wilt not let it sink: all my known Fortune's I had engaged at home, or spent abroad: But in the wars, when I was held quite bankrupt Of all good hap, it was my chance to quarter In such a house when we had sack't a Town, That yielded me inestimable store Of gold and jewels, those I kept till now Unknown to any, pleading poverty, Only to try the humour of my friends; Which I have proved, and now know how to find Fixed upon wealth, to want unnatural. You are flies, away; they that my Winter fled, Shall not my Summer taste: they only merit A happy harbour, that through stormy Seas Hazard their Barks, not they that sail with ease. You taste none of my Fortune's. There's first to make you beggars; for to that all such must come that leave their Master's poor. Begun, and never let me see you more. He makes a beggar first that first relieves him; Not Usurers make more beggars where they live, Than charit blemen that use to give. You know me now? your Worship's wondrous wise, You could not know me in my last disguise. So am I now From what I was of late: you can allow This habit well, but put my tother on, No congie then, your Lordship must be gone. You are my Summer-friend. You should have said well found For I was lost but late, dead, under ground Our Kindred was: when I redeemed my Land, They both revived, and both before you stand, And why not then? I am the same without all difference; when You saw me last, I was as rich, as good, Have no additions since of name, or blood; Only because I wore a threadbare suit, I was not worthy of a poor salute. A few good clothes put on with small ado, Purchase your knowledge, and your kindred too. You are my silken Uncle: o my Lord, All this is true; Ey but my Lord, let me examine you: Remember you a Contract that once passed Betwixt me and your daughter? here she stands. O men's weak strength, That aim at world's, when they but their mere length Must at their end enjoy: Thou then art mine, Of all that I have proved in poverty, The only test of virtue: what are these? Though they be Lords, but worldlings, men all earth. Thou art above them; virtuous, that's divine; Only thy heart is noble, therefore mine. Only for that I love thee: These are Lords That have bought Titles. Men may merchandise Wares, ey, and traffic all commodities From Sea to Sea, ey and from shore to shore, But in my thoughts, of all things that are sold, It's pity Honour should be bought for gold. It cuts off all desert. Your business sir? what by petition? Pray what's your suit? And thou shalt have the suit I last put off: Fetch it me Cock. Fallen to decay? I'll fit you in your kind. In this suit came I to thine Ordinary, In this thou wouldst have thrust me out of doors, Therefore with this that then proclaimed me poor, I'll salve thy wants, nor will I give thee more. Base worldlings, that despise all such as needs; Who to the needy beggar are still dumb, Not knowing unto what themselves may come. I know you, therefore know to rate your worths Both to their height and depth, their true dimensions I understand; for I have tried them all: thou art of anoth r element, A mirror of thy ex , that canst distinguish Virtue from wealth, thee as my own I elect, And these according to themselves despise. A Courtier henceforth I my self profess, And thee my wife, thou hast deserved no less. My prostrate duty to the King my Master I here present. Only in that I am happy. I shall my Lord. With her the King hath sent this princely dower, In which his love and bounty he commends. And Emperor cannot show more Royalty Than this brave Peer, he's all magnificent: I shall with the best eloquence I have, Make known your thoughts. Your Highness much mispriseth his intent, For he had no such thought. Saw your Majesty With what and humble zeal, and prostrate love He did retender your fair Daughters Dower, You would not his intent thus misreceive. Fortun' de la guere; I that have flourished, no colours Like me, nay, no Trumpet thou in his highest key, have no thing now but rags to flourish; I that have faced the enemy, have not so much as any facing left me: were my suit but as well pointed as I have seen some, and stood I but in the amid of my followers, I might say I had nothing about me but tag and rag. I am descended nobly; for I am descend dead so low, that all the clothes of my back are scarce worth a Noble: I was born to thousands, and yet a thousand to one, they will now scarce acknowledge me where I was born. Thanks my most worthy soldiers; and yet if I should examine your worths, what at the most could all you make? And for your insides I'll pass my word. You shall not leave me; my purpose is to try the humours of all my friends, my Allies, my ancient associates, and see how they will respect me in my supposed poverty: though I lose their acquaintance, I will lose none of my retinue. How say you Gentlemen, will you copart with me in this my dejectedness? Attend me then; if I rise, you shall ascend; if fallen, I will lie flat with you. First then I will make some trial of my Friends at the Court, and in good time: here's the King.