REIGNALD

Away you Corridon. Thy Master, we are Lords amongst our selves, And here we Live and Reign, Two years already Are passed of our great Empire, and we now Write, Anno Tertio. Ith' mean time, I, as the mighty Lord and Seneshcall Of this great house and castle, banish thee, The very smell ath' kitchen, be it death, To appear before the dresser, Because thou stinkest of garlic, is that breath Agreeing with our Palace, where each Room, Smells with Musk, Civit, and rich Ambergris, Alloes, Cassia, Aromaticke-gummes, Perfumes, and Powders, one whose very garments Scent of the fowlds and stables, o fie, fie, What a base nasty rogue 'tis. Then let us put a Carthorse in rich trappings. And bring him to the Tiltyard. I suffer thee too long, What is to me thy country, or to thee The pleasure of our City? thou hast Cows, Cattle, and Beeves to feed, Oves and Boues, These that I keep, and in this pasture graze, Are dainty Damosella's, bonny Girls; If thou be'st born to Hedge, Ditch, Thrash and Plough And I to Revel, Banquet and Carrow e; Thou Pessant, to the Spade and Pickax, I The Battoon and Steeletto think it only Thy ill, my good, our several lots are cast, And both must be contented. Look thou to one, My answer is provided. Adue good Cheese and Oynons, stuff thy guts With Speck and Barley-pudding for digestion, Drink Whig and sour Milk, whilst I rince my Throat, With Bordeaux and Can ary. A Spy Sir, One of their Hinds oth' country, that came prying To see what dainty fare our kitchen yields, What Guests we harbour, and what rule we keep, And threats to tell the old man when he comes; I think I sent him packing. A whoreson-Iack-an-apes, a base Baboon, To insinuate in our secrets. So I said Sir. 'Twere not fit. It is but justice. Dominus fac totum. And am not I your Steward? The bag's still heavy. I can assure you, yet 'tis pretty deep, Though scarce a mile to the bottom. Sweet Rogue. Geld the Rascal. Now spit him for and Infidel. Near a Widgin? Where I hope your self will not be absent. Weel have them then in plenty. Sir, I know What's to be done; the stock that must be spent, Is in my hands, and what I have to do, I will do suddenly. I still remember, Your father was no Grazier, if he were, This were a way to eat up all his Fields, Hedges and all. Yes, and you are ith' way going. So must you all. Worse, I think from Hell: We are all Lost, Split, Shipwrecked, and undone, This place is a mere quicksands. Where's my young Master? The News is, I, and you— She, and all these— We, and all ours, are in one turbulent Sea Of Fear, Despair, Disaster and mischance swallowed: Your father, Sir— He is, O I want breath. Landed, and at hand. I, these eyes. Ask you me what shall become of you, that have not yet Had time of study to dispose my self; I say again, I was upon the Key, I saw him land, and this way bend his course; What drunkard's this, that can out sleep a storm Which threatens all our ruins? Wake him. Can you trifle at such a time, when your Inventions. Brains, Wits, Plots, Devices, Stratagems, and all Should be at one in Actium? each of you That love your safeties, lend your helping hands, Women and all, to take this drunkard hence, And to bestow him else where. But what am I the nearer, were all these Conveyed to sundry places and unseen; The stain of our disorders still remain, Of which, the house will wirnesse, and the old man Must find when he enters; And for these I am here left to answer: What is he gone? I will make That Prison of your fears, your Sanctuary; Go get you in together. Your Father's, with your Sweetheart, these and all; Nay, no more words but doo't, I haue't here, To Bail you hence at pleasure; and in the interim, I'll make this supposed Goal, to you, as safe From the injured old men joust incensed spleen, As were you now together ith' Low-countries, Virginia, or ith' Indies. Will you in? Shut them fast. No such thing, for you shall bear your Sweetheart come pany, And help to cheer the rest. Rather without, I'll stand a Champion for you all within; Will you be swayed? One thing in any case I must advise; The gates bolted and locked, See that amongst you no living voice be herd; No not so much as a Dog to howl, Or Cat to mewe, all silence, that I charge; As if this were a mere forsaken house, And none did there inhabit. And though the old man thunder at the gates As if he meant to ruin what he had reared, None on their lives to answer. Only the Key; for I must play the goaler for your durance, To be the Mercury in your release. When you are fast you are safe, And with this turn it's done: What fools are these, To trust their ruined Fortune's to his hands That hath betrayed his own; And make themselves Prisoner to one deserves to lie for all, As being cause of all; And yet something prompts me, I'll stand it at all dangers; And to recompense The many wrongs unto the young man done: Now, if I can doubly delude the old, My brain, about it then; All's hushed within, The noise that shall be, I must make without; And he that partly for gain, and partly for wit, So far hath traveled, strive to fool at home: Which to effect, Art must with Knavery join, And smooth Dissembling meet with Impudence; He do my best, and howsoever it prove, My praise or shame, it's but a servants love. I could wish You had took your leave oth' Land too. O, but how much more welcome had he been, That had brought certain tidings of thy death. What mad man's that, who weary of his life, Dares once lay hand on these accursed gates? My old Master, Most glad I am to see you; Are you well Sir? But are you sure you are? Feel you no change about you? Pray you stand off. Said you Sir; Did your hand touch that hammer? But are you sure you touched it? You touched it then? O for the love I bear you, O me most miserable, you, for you own sake, Of all alive most wretched; Did you touch it? You have then a sin committed, No sacrifice can expiate to the Dead; But yet I hope you did not. You and all yours will doo't. In this one rashness, You have undone us all; Pray be not desperate, But first thank Heaven that you have escaped thus well; Come from the gate, yet further, further yet, And tempt your fate no more; Command your servants Give off and come no nearer, they are ignorant, And do not know the danger, therefore pity That they should perish in it; It's full seven months, Since any of your house durst oh ce set foot Over that threshold. First look about, beware that no man hear, Command these to remove. O Sir, This house is grown Prodigious, Fatal, Disastrous unto you and yours. Some Host that hath been owner of this house, In it his Guest hath slain; And we suspect 'Twas he of whom you bought it. I'll tell you Sir, But further from the gate: Your son one night Suppt late abroad, I within; O that night, I never shall forget; Being safe God home, I saw him in his chamber laid to rest; And after went to mine, and being drowsy, Forgotten by chance, to put the Candle out; Being dead asleep; Your son affrighted, calls So loud, that I soon wakened; Brought in light, And found him almost drowned in fearful sweat; Amazed to see't, I did demand the cause: Who told me, that this murdered Ghost appeared, His body gashed, and all over-stuck with wounds; And spoke to him as follows. I am, quoth he, A Transmarine by birth, who came well stored With Gold and Jewels, to this fatal house; Where seeking safety, I encountered death: The covetous Merchant, Landlord of this rend, To whom I gave my life and wealth in charge; Freely to enjoy the one, robbed me of both: Here was my body buried, here my Ghost Must ever walk, till that have Christian right; Till when, my habitation must be here: Then fly young man, Remove thy family, And secke some safer dwelling: For my death, This mansion is accursed; It's my possession, Bought at the deer rate of my life and blood, None enter here, that aims at his own good. And with this charge he vanished. I Entreat keep further from the gate, and fly. What needs I fear, the Ghost and I am friends. Tush, I nothing have deserved, Nor ought transgressed: I came not near the gate. Was't you Sir named me? Now as I live, I thought the dead man called, To inquire for him that thundered at the gate Which he so dearly paid for: Are you mad, To stand a foreseen danger? Cover you head and fly; Lest looking back, You spy your own confusion. I tell you Sir, The Ghost and I am friends. In fear lest some mischance may fallen on you, That have the dead offended, For my partly, The Ghost and I am friends: Why fly you not, Since here you are not safe? Nay Sir, isle not forsake you: I have God the start; But eat the goal, it'll ask both Brain and Art. To which hand shall I turn me; Here's my Master Hath been to inquire of him that should the house, Touching the murder; Here's and Vsuring-Rascall, Of whom we have borrowed money to supply Our prodigal expenses; Broke our day, And owe him still the Principal and Use: Were I to meet them single, I have brain To oppose both, and to come off unscarred; But if they do assault me, and at once. Not Hercules himself could stand that odds: Therefore I must encounter them by turns; And to my Master first: O Sir, well met. What, did you Sir? But did you speak of ought concerning that Which I last told you? Then am I cast: But I pray tell me Sir, Did he confess the murder? Impudent wretch; Then serve him with a warrant, let the Of ficer Bring him before a Justice, you shall hear What I can say against him; Sfoot deni't: But I pray Sir excuse me, yonder's one With whom I have some business; Stay you here, And but determine what's best course to take, And note how I will follow't. Never could you Have come in better time. A word in private, Not so loud. We know you have a throat, wide as your cons ience; You needs not use it now—Come, get you home. Yes, home I say, return by three a Clock, And I will see all canceled. This burre will still cleave to me; what, no means To shake him off; I near was caught till now. Come come, you're trouble . So so so. Pox a this use, that hath and one so many: And now will confound me. Here Sir; Nay, now I am gone. A trifle Sir, Pray stop his mouth; And pay't him. If I say pay't him; Pay't him. A toy, the main about five hundred pounds; And the use fifty. It's confessed, Yet stop his clamorous mouth; And only say, That you will pay't to morrow. Sir, if I bid you doo't; Nay, no more words, But say you'll pay't tomorrow. Safe Sir, I warrant you. Your ear sir; This sum joined to the rest, Your Son hath purchased Land and Houses. A goodly House, and Gardens. Now Lord Sir, How dull you are; This house possessed with spirits, And there no longer stay; Would you have had Him, us, and all your other family, To live, and lie ith' streets; It had not Sir, Been for your reputation. Pox upon him, See him discharged, I pray Sir. Never in all my time, so much to seek; I know not what to answer. It's not for that, I only had forgotten his name that should them, 'Twas let me see, see. Non-plust or never now; Where art thou brain? Oh Sir, where was my memory; It's this house That next adjoins to yours, The same, the same Sir; We had pennyworth in't; And I can tell you, have been offered well Since, to forsake our bargain. Nay, it's well seated, Roughcast without, but bravely lined within; You have met with few such bargains. Puzzle again on Puzzle; One word Sir, The House is full of Women, no man knows, How on the instant, they may be employed; The Rooms may lie unhandsome; and Maids stand Much on their cleanliness and housewifry; To take them unprovided, were disgrace, 'Twere fit they had some warning; Now, do you Fetch but a warrant, from the Justice Sir; You understand me. To attach him of suspected murder; I'll see't screwed; Did he deny't? And in the intrim, I Will give them notice, you are now arrived, And long to see your purchase. This plunge well passed, All things fallen even, to Crown my Brain at last. Now impudence, but steel my face this once, Although I near blush after; Here's the house, Ho, whose within? What, no man to descend These innocent gates from knocking? One Sir that ever wished your worships health; And those few hours I can find time to pray in, I still remember it. It was, but now Sir, That Gold is turned to worse then Alcamy, It will not stand the test; Those days are passed, And now our nights come on. Yes, to our grief already, but we fear Hereafter, it may prove to all our cost's. Not yet Sir; Now my request is, that your worship being So near a Neighbour, therefore most disturbed, Would not be first to peach us. Worshipful Sir; I shall be still your Beadsman; Now the business That I was sent about, the Old Man my Master Claiming some interest in acquaintance passed, Desires (might it be no way trouble some) To take free view of all your House within. Nay, be not angry Sir, He no way does disable your estate; As far to buy, as you are loath to fell; Some alterations in his own hee'd make. And hearing yours by workmen much commended, He would make that his President. It's supposed, He hath late found a Wife out for his Son; Now Sir, to have him near him, and that necrenesse Too, without trouble, though beneath one roof, Yet parted in two Families; He would built And make what's picked, a Perfect quadrangle, Proportioned joust with yours, were you so pleased, To make it his example. Most kind coxcomb, Great Alexander, and Agathocles, Caesar, and others, have been Famed, they say. And magnified for high Facinerous deeds; Why claim not I, and equal place with them? Or rather a precedent: These commanded Their Subjects, and their servants; I my Master, And every way his equals, where I please, Led by the nose along; They placed their burdens On Horses, Mules, and Camels; I, old Men Of strength and wit, load with my knavery, Till both their backs and brains ache; Yet poor animals, They near complain of weight; O are you come Sir? And brought the warrant? It's well done, but speak, runs it Both without Bail and Maineprize? Then I shall warrant him; I have been yonder Sir, Like one that offers you Free ingress, view and regress, at your pleasure; As to his worthy Landlord. He spoke to me, that I would speak to you, To speak unto your Son; And then again, To speak to him, that he would speak to you; You would release his Bargain. See in acknowledgement of a Tenants duty, He attends you at the gate; Salute him Sir. Lord Sir, that in extremity of grief, You'll add unto vexation; See you not How sad he's on the sudden, To partly with that which he hath kept so long; Especially his Inheritance: Now as you love Goodness, and Honesty, torment him not With the least word of Purchase. See what a goodly Gate? What brave carved posts; Who knows but here, In time Sir, you may keep your Shrievalty; And I be one oth' Sergeants. Poor man, I pity him; H'ath not the heart to stay and see you come, As 'twere, to take Possession; Look that way Sir, What goodly fair Bay windows? And what a Galleric, How costly Seeled; What painting round about? Tarrast above, and how below supported; do they please you? If you would? I should not suffer you; Was not the Money endue to the Usurer, took upon good ground, That proved well built upon? We were no fools That knew not what we did. Please you to trust me with't, I'll see't discharged. Ere I see the warrant served? But a short journey; For he's not far, that I am sent to seek: I have God the start, the best partly of the Raze is run already, what remains, is small, And Tyre now, I should but forfeit all. Now is the Goal delivery; Through this back gate Shift for your selves, I here unprison all. This same sweet Reignald, and this honest rogue, Hath been the Burgess, under whose protection You all this while have lived, free from Arrests, But now, the Sessions of my power's broke up, And you exposed to Actions, Warrants, Writs; For all the hellish rabble are broke lose, Of Sergeants, Sheriffs, and Baliffes, I tell you as it is; Nay, I my self That have been your Protector, now as subject To every varlets Pestle, for you know How I am engaged with you—At whose suit sir. I was afraid some Catchpole stood behind , To clap me on the Shoulder. I knew your guilty consciences. One kiss then Sweet, Thus shall my crotchets, and your kisses meet. Lodge your selves In the next Tavern, ther's the Cash that's left, Go, health it freely for my good success; Nay, Drown it all, let not a Taster escape To be consumed in rotgut; I have begun, And I will stand the perjod. Or perisn in the conflict. Well, if he now come off well, Fox you all; Go, call for Wine; For sing e of my self I will oppose all danger; But I charge you, When I shall faint or find my self disttest; If I Like brave Orlands, wind my Horn, Make haste unto my rescue. Well hast thou spoke my noble Charlemagne, With these thy Peers about thee. The end still crowns the deed. My heart misgives, for it's not possible But that in all these windings and indents I shall be found at last: I'll take that course That men both troubled and affrighted do, Heap doubt on doubt, and as combustions rise, Try if from many I can make my peace, And work mine own atonement. I suspect And find there's trouble in my Master's looks; Therefore I must not trust my self too far Within his fingers. Worshipful Sir. That tomorrow, Early ith' morning, heel attend your pleasure, And do as all such duteous children ought; Demand your blessing Sir. I do not Like his countenance. Tell me that Sir? I cannot blame your worship to be pleasant, Knowing at what and underrate we bought it, but you ever Were a most merry Gentleman. Now Heaven, to see to what this world's gro e too. I will make him— Which both shall dearly answer; You have warrant For him already; But for the other Sir, If he deny it, he had better— I discover the Ambush that's laid for me. First sir resolve me one thing, amongst other Merchandise Bought in your absence by your Son and me, We engrossed a great commodity of Combes, And how many sorts think you? But beside these, we have for Horses Si , Maine-combes, and Curry-combes; Now Sir for men, We have Head-oombes, -combes, I and Coxcombs too; Take view of them at your pleasure, whil'it for my partly, I thus bestow my self. Only to practice The nimbleness of my Arms and Legs, Ere they prove your Cords and Fetters. Har bour long, and now it must be my Sanctuary; Dispute now, and I'll answer. O sir, the man you killed is alive at this present to justify it: I am, quoth he, a Transmarine by birth— Why? because sir, Could I have purchased Houses at that rate, I had meant to have bought all London. Guilty, guilty. Not Guilty. Yes, and come down in your own Ropes. So the warrant in my Master's pocket, will serve for my Mur der; And ever after shall my Ghost haunt this House. To burn Houses is Felony, and I'll not out Till be fired out; But since I am Besieged thus, I'll summon supplies unto my Rescue. Why Master? Have I laboured; Plotted, Contrived, and all this while for you, And will you leave me to the Whip and Stocks; Not mediate my peace. Not till my Pardon's sealed, I'll rather stand here Like a Statue, in the Forefront of your house For ever; Like the picture of Dame Fortune Before the Fortune Playhouse. I knew that, therefore this was my Invention, For Policy's the art still of Prevention. I was the Fox, But I from henceforth, will no more the Cox— Comb, put upon your pate. Not so much worth Sir. Burying of Wives, As stale as shifting shifts, or for some servants, To flout and gull their Master's. Now, If I can aswell put off my Vse-man, This day, I shall be master of the field.