CLOWN

Ill news flies apace, and hath plucked me by the ears already, well, whosoever pronounced that sentence; I hope no body hears me: I would his Portugal skin were ta Ned in to Spanish Leather, and either cut into some flovenly Boot, to be dabbled in the dirt without a Galoach, or snipe into a Saint Martins Jerkin, that never came within the sent of a perfumers shop. In stead of confined had his doom been to have been coffined, there had been some comfort, he might have still kept his Country, but in plain Portenguise and Spanish, both banished How can I choose, being in the mouth of every Diego, which I no sooner herd, but I so sought that I might find you, and so find you never hereafter to loose you, for without you this is no place for me, and without me no Country can be a Country for you. And so a Fig for Spain, and a Prune for Pertugall. That's you and I. Such as Travellers use, for by long practice I am now at length grown perfect, and the truth is I can lie in any language. I think of it as I ever did, that's as of a bottle of hay, and the Creature you talk of, a Needle Spanish Needle, which I fear you will never live to hit full in the eye: Spain! there are so many Moors int, that I know you would hope of nothing less: beside the most beauty's of Spain have been oft in Civil. Worse then the tother: the Women there are for the most partly Like their Orindges, the fairer the outside the rotten ner within, and the founder at the heart, the rougher the skin; the Country is too hight, too hight. As of a Country too cold, and in cold countries I know we should have but cold comfort, beside the women go wrapped in so much fur, that of necessity they must have more would re then wit, beside they cannot be wise they have so much ado to keep themselves warm, and more than that, what might the Prince and Princess think, if after all our long travels, we should come home, and present them with a rush? The clean contrary way, o, my Lord, there are so many Italian Locks, that I know it was unpossible your own key should open them all. Moreover these that are naturally jealous of their women, it is probable their women naturally give them cause. What the pox should we speak of that, knowing what is bred in the bone, will hardly out of the flesh? A place that I should highly stand for, if the Princess had imposed on us a challenge for drinking. In Flushing, there is good riding, but not without dan her. For many at a high tide, have been Like to have been cast away in the road. At Middleborough, night or day you could scarce find the Exchange empty. At Bristles, if you remember you were used but roughly: At Sluice we were both well washed, Nimmingham bid you look to your Sk nce: and Ostend, be beware the Cat. Don-hague is full of Witches, and had we but tutcht at Rot or Dam, ten to one we had never come off found men. Much ado we had to find Newport: Therefore if ever you come to Bergen, see you make it wisely. I grant you the face, but if she should prove rotten at the heart, there's the question. Then I would shes and you were agreed, that you might come to a full point: and here she comes, now or ne for make a full conclusion, and write Finis. Did you not hear her talk of utter, for shame Sir, either utte your mind now to the full, or else utterly give it over. Now while they are in talk, will I hold some dis course or other with the old Gentlewoman: because she shall not interrupt them. May it please your old Ladyship— Yes, and means to make her a great Lady, to possess her of all his Fortune's, to put down all the prime Ladies of Spain: and for Beauty and Virtue, to be preferred before the great Princess her self. If you distrust his word, cake mine, which will pass in Spain for more Myravids, then the best Squires in England for Farthing-tokens. A good hearing, and I and the old Gentlewoman are both witnesses to the bargen. Why, I can assure you, we have her to show, And such a p ece— I, and the fairest there, one so fair, that all Bartholmew -fair could not match her again. But we have a Tale for you, if you will give us the hearing. Yet we have her, and weight and measure with her, to put down all the black-browd wenches in Spain, for a face, and Phisi gnomie. I can assure you Lady, there was a Ring, and a thing exchanged upon the bargen. Then hear me Noble Lady. Trust a Woman? trust thy mortgage to and Usurer, thy shoulder to the Mace, or thy bore back to the Beadle, thou wilt be whipped on all sides; a Woman? Why are they called fair, but that they are Like a Fair where every one sets up shop, and any man may buy for his more nigh? why lovely, but to denote unto us, they lie when they tell a man they love him? why chaste? unless from Coast to con trey, and from Constable to Constable: Why Virgin? but that they are merely begins and snares to entangle poor men in: why, when a man courts them; do they cry, away, away? but only to tell a man that there is a way, if he have the wit to find it. O, Women, Women, foemineo gentri tribuuntur Propriam quae Maribus. From Women and I care not, for there's against them no standi g. Danger, I find but a little in that face, and 'tis a face able to outface the best face in Spain. A face that I have been face to face with, before now, but it's so long since I cannot tell when and we have traveled so many Countries I cannot guess where, Are you a stranger fair Lady? I love you the better for that, for indeed I my self have seen Countries, and I see no reason, but that if both parties were agreed we two might lie together by Authority. Alas, poor fellow, thou lookest not with the face, but if thou canst give me but the true fashions and descriptions of Countries, or my friend, with me you can purchase no Credit. Man. I shall and thus in brief too. God-a-mercy for this in faith, and were it not that the grief, for my Noble Master's death, and that to mor row too— Yes, and about a face too that would have served the turn, if the heart had been correspondent. If you have a mind to see the pitiful spectacle, I'll help you to a place, where you shall have room to see, leisure to lament, and time to shed tears. Yes, especially for such a face. If you desire a strong one, to a prison. If you would lie cheap and save charges, it's but speaking treaion, and I'll help you to be billeted, at the Kings castle. I, and I assure your Ladyship, allied to the best Grandoes of Spain, nay more then so,— I hope, when travellers have light upon a rich Purchase, It is lawful for them to brag of their commodity. We have found her.