MERRY REPORT

¶Forsooth and please your lordshype it is I. ☞Why can not your lordshype like my name Mine apparel nor my name neither. ¶A proper lycklyhod of promotion Well than as wise as you seem to be Yet can you see no wisdom in me But sins you dispraise me for so light and elft I pray you gyve me leave to praise my self And for the First part I will Begin In my behaviour at my coming in Wherein I think I have little offended For sewer my courtesy could nat be amended And as for my sever your servant to be Might ill have been mist for your honesty For as I be saved if I shall nat lie I saw no man sew for the office but I Wherefore if you take me nat or I go You must anon whither you will or no And sins your entente is but for the wethers What skyis our appyrell to be frise or father's I thynhe it wisdom sins no man forbade it With this to spate a better if I had it And for my name reporting all way truly What hurt to report a sad mater merely As be occasion for the same entente To a certain widow this day was I sent Whose husband departed without her witting A special good lover and she his own swettynge To whom at my coming I cast such a figure Mingling the mater according to my nature That when we departed above all other things She thanked me heartily for my merry tidings And if I had nat handled it merely Perchaunche she might have take it heuely But in such fashion I conjured and bound her That I left her meryer then I found her What man may compare to show the like comfort That daily is showed by me Merry report And for your purpose at this time meant For all wethers I am so indifferent Without affection standing so up right Son light, moan light, ster light, twy light, torch light, Cold hete most dry, hail rain frost snow, lightni ̄ g thu ̄ worser Cloudy, mysty, wyndy, fair, foul above heed or under Temperate or distemperate what ever it be I promise your lordship all is one to me. ¶Now good my lord God our lady be with you Friends, a felyshype let me goo by you Think you I may stand thrusting among you there Nay by God I must thrust about other gere ☞Now by my troth this was a goodly hearing I wont it had been the gentylwomens blowing But it is nat so as I now suppose For women's horns sounds more in a man's nose. ¶A goodly occupation by faint Anne On my fathe your mashype hath a merry life But who makes all these horns your self or your wife Nay even in earnest I ask you this question. ☞In fatyhe or us both I think never one sad For I am nat so merry but you seem as mad But stand you stylt and take a little pain I will come to you by and by again Now gracious God if your will so be I pray you let me speak a word with you, ¶My lord there standeth a suitor even here behind A gentleman in yonder corner And as I think his name is master horner A hunter he is and comes to make you sport He would hunt a sow or twain out of this sort. ¶I thought you had, for when you did blow it Hard I never whoreson make horn so go As lefe you kyst mine ars as blow my hold so Come on your way before the God Iupyter And there for your self you shall be sewter. ❀Now I beseech your mashype whose head be you. ☞Nay I think it very true so God me help For I have ever been of a little whelp So full of fansyes and in so many fyttes So many small reasons and in so many wits That even as I stand I pray God I be deed If ever I thought them all meet for heed But sins I have one head more then I knew Blame nat my rejoicing I love all things new And sure it is Treasure of heads to have store One fear can I now that I neue could before. ¶By God sins you came hither I can set my heed and my tail together This head shall save money by Saint Marry From hensforthe I will no Potycary For at all times when such things shall myster My new head shall gyve mine old tail a glyster And after all this then shall my head wait Upon my tail and there stand at receipt Sir for the rest I will not now move you But if we live shall smell how I love you And sir touching pour suit, here depart when it please you For be you sure as I can I will ease you. ¶Alas my neck, gods pyty where is me head By faint Yue I fere me I shall be dead And if I were me think it were no wonder Sins my head and my body is so far a sunder Master person now welcome by my life I pray you how does my masters your wife ❧ Why where be you shall I nat find you Come away I pray God the devil blind you. ❧ Sir what voyage intend you next to go. ¶Would would is it your mind to sail at Syo Nay then when you will, by lady you may go And let me alone with this, be of good cheer You may trust me at Syo as well as here For though you were from me a thousand mile space I would do as much as you were here in place For sins that from hens it is so far thither I care nat though you never come again hither. ❧ In faith you be welcome even very skantly Sir for your coming what is the mater. ¶That will nat be but you may do this Tell me your mind I am and Officer of his ¶Why nay sir by the mass you ¶Go when you will no man here hath bound you. ¶Come on and assay how you twain can agree A brother of yours a Miller as you be. ¶There can be no sweter by the sweet rood Another thing yet which shall nat be cloaked My water mill many times is choked. ¶If I remember you nat both a like I would you were over the ears in the dyke Now be we rid of two knaves at one chance By faint Thomas it is a knavish ryddaunce. ☜Yet where you will I swear by faint Quintyne You past them all both in your own conceit and mine ¶When serve you God. ¶Alas poor boy who sent the hither. ❀You farewell good son with all my heart Now such and other sort as here hath be In all the days of my life I have not seen No suitors now but women knaves and boys And all their suits are in fansyes and toys If that there come no wiser after this cry I will to the God and make and end quickly Oyes, if that any knave here Be Willing to appear For whither foul or clear Come in before this flock And be he hold or syckly Come show his mind quickly And if his tail be nat lyckly You shall lycke my tail in the nock All his time I perceive is spent in wast To wait for more suitors I see none make hast Wherefore I will show the God all this proces And be delivered of my simple offs Now lord according to your commandment Attending suitors I have been diligent And at beginning as your will was I should I come now at end to show what eke man would The First suitor before your self did appear A gentleman desiring weather clear Cloudy, nor mysty, nor no wind to blow For hurt in his Hunting and then as you know The Merchant sued for as of that kind For weather clear and measurable wind As they may best bear their sails to make speed And Straight after there came to me in deed Another man who nam him self a ranger And said all of his craft be far brought in danger For lack of living which chiefly is wind fallen But he plainly Say there blows no wind at all Wherefore he desireth for increase of their fleeces Extreme rage of wind trees to tere in pieces Then came a water Miller and he cried out For water and said the wind was so stout The rain could not fallen wherefore he made request For plenty of rain to set the wind at rest And then sir there came a wind Miller in Who said for the rain he could no wind win The water he wished to be banish all Beseeching yout grace of wind continual Then came there another that would banish all this A goodly dame and ydyll thing ywys Wind, rain, nor frost, nor son shine would she have But fair close weather her beauty to save Then came there another that liveth by laundry Who must have weather hight and clear here clothes to dry Then come there a boy for trost and snow continual Snow to make snow balls and frost for his pytfall For which God wot he sues full greedily Your First man would have cools to blow meanly The second the same save weather clear and nat wyndy The third desired storms and wind most extermely The fourth all in water and would have no wind The fifth no water but all wind to grynde The sixth would have none of all these nor no bright son The sevent extremely the hight soon would have won The eight and the last for the frost and snow he prayed By lady we shall take shame I am afraid Who marks in what manner this sort is led May think it impossible all to be speed This number is small there lacketh twain of ten And yet by the mass among ten thousand men No one thing could stand more wide From the other Nat one of their suitors agreeth with and other I promise you here is a shrew piece of work This gere will try weather you be a clarke If you trust to me it is a great folly For it passes my brains by goods body. ¶You shall I so, and your forsyde so wide Nay nat yet but sins you love to be alone We twain will into a corner anon But First I pray you come your way hither And let us twain chat a while together. ¶Stand you Still a while and I will go prove Whither that the God will be brought in love My lord how now look up lustily Here his a derlynge come by Saint Antony And if it be your pleasure to marry Speak quyckely for she may nat tarry In faith I think you may win her anon For she would speak with your lordshypen alone. ¶By my faith for his lordship is right besy With a piece of work that needs must be done Even now is he making of a new moon He say your old moons be so far tasted That all the goodness of them is wasted Which of the great weet hath been most matter For old moons be like, they hold no water But for this new moon I durst lay my gown Except a few drops at her going down You get no rain till her arising Without it need and then no men devising Could wish the fashion of rain to be so good Not gushing out like gutters of Noah's flood But small drops sprynklynge sortely on the ground Though they fell on a sponge they would gyve no sound This new moon shall make a thing Spring more in this while The ̄ a old moae shall while a man may go a mile By that time the God hath all made and end You shall see how the weather will amend By Saint Anne he goes to work even boldly I think him wise enough for he looketh holdely Wherefore masters be you now of good cheer For though in his presence you can not appear Tell me your matter and let me alone May happen I will think on you when you be go en ¶Why sweet heart by your false faith can you sing ¶Oft time is seen both in court and town. Long be women a bringing up & soon brought down So feet it is, so nete it is, so nyse it is, So trycke it is, so quick it is, so wise it is I fear me self except I may entreat her I am so far in love I shall forget her. Now good masters I pray you let me kys you ☜No doubt he will deal so graciously That all folk shall be served indifferently How be it I tell the truth my office is such That I must report eke suit little or much Wherefore with the God sins thou caused not speak Trust me with thy suit I will not fail it to break. ¶What monster is this I never harden none such For look how much more I have made her to much And so far at last she hath made me to little Where be you Launder I think in some spyttell You shall wash me no gere for fere of fretting I love no launders that shrink my gere in wettynge I pray the go hens and let me be in rest I will do thine errand as I think beft. ¶I can not tell for by this light. I chepte nor barowed none of him this night But by such shift as I will make Thou shalt see soon what way he will take. ¶If I had caught them Or ever I taught them I would have taught them To be never me. Full dear have I bought them Lord so I sought them Yet have I brought them Such as they be. ❧ Get you both hens I pray you heartily Your suits I perceive and will report them truly Un to Jupiter at the next leisure And in the same desire to know his pleasure Which knowledge had even as he doth show it Fere you nat time enough you shall know it. ¶The longer thou livest the pity the greater The sooner thou be rid the tidings the better Is nat this a sweet office that I have When every drab shall call me knave Every man knoweth not what gods service is Nor I my self knew it not before this I think gods servants may live holily But the devil servants live more merely I know not what God gyveth in standing fees But the devil servants have casweltees A hundredth times more then gods servants have For though you be never so stark a knave It you lack money the devil will do worse But bring you Straight to another men purse Then will the devil promote you here in this world As unto such tyche it does most accord First Pater noster quies in celis And then you shall since the strife with your helys The greatest friend you have in field or town Sandynge a typ to shall nat reche your crown. ¶This same is even he by allycklyhod Sir I pray you be not you master God. ¶No in good faith son but I may say to the I am such a man that God may nat miss me Wherefore with y e God if thou wouldst have ought done Tell me thy mind and I shall show it soon. ¶Now fare you well & God thank you by faint Anne I pray you mark the fashion of this honest man He putteth me in more trust at this meeting here Then he shall find cause why this twenty year. ¶So say my wife and that makes all our checking She would have the mill peckt, peckt peckt every day But by God millers must peck when they may So oft have we peckt that our stones wax right thin And all our other gere nat worth a pynne For with pecking and pecking I have so wrought That I have peck a good pecking iron to nought How be it if I stick no better till her My wife Say she will have a new Miller But let it pass and now to our mater I say my mills lack neither wind nor water No more do yours as far as need doth require But sins you can nat agree I will desire Iupyter to set you both in such rest As to your wealth and his honour may stand best. ☜I count women lost if we love them not well For you see God loves them never a deal Masters you can not speak with the God. ¶Now I beseech our lord the devil the burst Who meddleth with many I hold him accursed Thou hoar can I meddle with you both at ones. ¶Many words little matter and to no purpose Such is the effect that thou disclose. The more you byb, the more you babyll. The more you babyl, the more you fabyl The more you fabyl, the more vnstabyl. The more unstable, the more unable In any manner thing to do any good No hurt though you were hanged by the holy rood. ☜That shall be no longer in doing Then I am in coming and going ❧ Brother hold up your torch a little higher Now I beseech you my lord look on me First I trust your lordshype shall not find me the wurste. ☞What I, some say I am I pierce I But what manner I so ever be I I assure your good lordshype I am I. ☞By God a poor gentleman dwells her by. ❧ Forsooth my lord master Merry report. ❀Say that to me and let the rest alone Syrye he welcome and all your meyny. ☞Marry I am he that this must speed But First tell me what be you in deed. ¶Now good master horner I pray you come never, ¶Thou art neither brother nor fellow to me For I am gods servant mayest thou nat see Would you presume to speak with the great God Nay discretion and you be to far odd Byr lady these knaves must be tied shorter Sir who let you in, spoke you with the porter. No doubt he is here even in yonder Throne But in your mater he trusteth me alone Wherein I do perceive by your complain Oppression of rain does make the wind so faint That you wind millers be elene cast away. You do the better namely sins there is no cause How spend you this night ¶No but you know how he may pass into you. ¶Come on sirs but now let us sing lustily. ☜What yes hardly kys me ones and no more I never desired to kys you defore. ¶To whom dost thou speak foul hoar canst thou tell. Gyve boys weather quoth a nonny nonny. ¶As in that I will be your well wyller I perceive you be a water Miller And your hold desire as I take the mater Is Plenty of rain for encres of water The let where of you affirm determynately As only the wind your mortal enemy. ¶Now by my troth for the love that I owe you You shall here what pleasure I can show you One song I have for you such as it is And if it were better you should have it by gys. Such a railing hoar by the holy mass I never harden in all my tyfe till now Ju deed I love right well the tone of you But or I keep you both by gods mother The devil shall have the tone to fetched the other. ¶Now sirs take heed for here comes gods seruau ̄ to Avaunt cartely keytyfs avant Why you drunken horesons will it nat be By your feaythe have you neither cap nor knee Nat one of you that will make courtesy To me that am squire for gods body Regard you nothing mine authority No welcome home nor where have you be How be it if you axed I could nat well tell But sure I think a thousand mile from hell And on my faith I think on my conscience I have been from heaven as far as heaven is hens At Louyn, at London, and in Lombardy At Baloocke, at Barforde, and in Barbary At Canturbery, at Coventry, at Colchester At Wansworth, and at Welbeck, at Westchester At Fullam, at Faleborne, and at Fenlowe At wallyngeforth, at wakefelde, and at waltanstowe At Tawcon, at Typtre, and at Totnam At Gloucester, at Gylforde, and at Gotham At Hartforde, at Harwyche, at Harcowe on the hill At Sutbere, at Suthampton, at shoters hill At Wallyngham, at wittam, and at werwycke At Boston, at Brystowe, and at Berwycke At Gravelyn, at Gravesend, and at Glastenbery Ing Gyngyange Iabyerde the parish of Butlbery The devil him self without more leisure Could nat have gone half thus much I am sure But now I have warned them let them even chosen For in faith I care nat who win or loose. ☜Now sir by your faith if you should be sworn Hard you ever God speak so sins you were born So wise to gelitelly his words be showed. ❧ Very well said I set by your charity As much in a manner as by your honesty I shall set you some what in ease anon You shall put on your cap when I am gone For I see well you care nat who win or less So you may find means to win y ̄ our fees ¶Sir Idoute nothing your audacity But I fere me you lack capacity For if you were wise you might well espy How rudely you err From rules of courtesy What you come in reveling and reheytynge Even as a knave might go to a bear beytynge. ¶Stop foolish knave, for your reasoning is such That you have reasoned even ynonght and to much I harden all the words that you both have had So help me God the knaves be more then mad Neither of them both that hath wit nor grace To perceive that both mills may serve in place Between water and wind there is no such set But eke mill may have time to use his fetched Which thing I can tell by experiens For I have of mine own not far from hens In corner together a couple of mills Standing in a mars between two Hills Nat of wherytaunce but by my wife She is feofed in the tail for term of her life The one for wind the other for water And of them both I thank God there stands neither For in a good hour be it spoken The water gate is no sooner open But clap sathe the wyndemyll even straight behind There is good sped, the devil and all they grynde But whither that the hopper be dusty Or that the millstones be somewhat rusty By the mass the meal is mischievous musty And if you think my tale be nat trusty I make you true prompse come when you list We shall find mean you shall taste of the gryste