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Full speech
What? shall we have Latin a gain? Master youngster. I pRay you go to the University, and set up your Stage there. I pray you then tell us so much in honest English. For mine? nay, for every she, Whom here you see: And for our honest neig bours, many a good man that never Was infected with this raving Latin ever. en speak sense, thou jab king all black Jackdaw, with a green coxcom e. I many, this for my stomach, me in the ber of the fourth rank. Well said, such easy drops sink well into our br ines. I do not istake you now, you take us very well with your pl ne dealing English Poetry. Eunuchus! Out upon him, and thee too, and all of his kin. I have herd my brother say, that this same Eunuchus is a man and no man, The very scorn and hate of w men. I'll be sure, , worser awe and quarter him; and for my partly, si Prologue, She tears the paper. I and rather you should at us, thus defeat us, us, Then v See you old on your vulgar tongue, and bring not hither your Latin vulgars, and lessons which you have chanced in the school. Thou pithless ass, dost thou tell us of scolding? Sir Prologue, I fear thou talkest English extrum pery beside thy partly, only to beguile me, I doubt there is Latin in his budget. I dare not trust you, for you say you are here in the school. And you scholars must not speak Eng lish in the school. What? Blow point? or Span-counter? or trap out may hap? Take heed you grow not Outish. What play call you it? A. P. ap. A. per see, A. P. Oh. L. pol, L. Oh. lo. Apollo. On my maidenhead this is Latin. We shall be choked with a dogrell Latin Play for all this. A proper name? As you are a proper man, let none but English wares be should in this shop, or else you have no customer of me. S. H. R. Oh. shro. I'll none of this. What, do you call us shroves? V I. N. G. ving, shroving I'm gl worser of that. Now I Like this Apollo well: he'll go a gossipping with us. does Apollo come a shroving to us, or shall we go a shroving to him? Pens? hens? Me thinks the feathers of hens should not make good pens. I do not Like the death of hens. As I'm a true housewife, I wondered what made our enne roost so empty, and see the scholars have gouen them. As I'm a true woman, I'll trust you slippery scholars no further then I see you. I wont away, till I taste of the first dish of Apollos shroving seast, and know whither it was and English Cook that dressed it. I see a black coat come in, I'll know whither he be a true Britain. I can hold no longer. False play. I bar your dice. Body o'me, I thought how we should be served. O'my life, this is no English. My Mother never spoke it. I proclaim to all of my sex, they have leave to depart. I'de rather spin at home, then hear these Barbarians spout Latin, Unless we had some kind scholar to tell us what they say. What a foppery is this, that we must laugh for company, and then ask what we laugh at. If you do not interpret to me, I'll make you plum the play, you shant be able to go on your partly. Trust you upon your word? Did not you promise to interprate? Here's insey-woolsey jan, where every English thread is overcast with a thick len wool of strange words, which have so deep a nap, that the plain ground cannot be seen. I pray you what have you said all this while? And could you not have told me that in one word, by bidding me good morrow? I have as good partly it h day light, as the best min g Muse of them all. Now I understand you better. I hope he mend. Surely this scholar loves to come first to school Well, I see now it will be English. It shall go hard but I'll get a partly amongst them. I'll into the tiring house, and scamble and rangle for a man partly. Why should not women act men, as well as boys act women? I will wear the breeches, so I will. Exit. This Apollo is he and English man? I'll deal with none but my own Countrymen. I wont have to do, so I wont, with these outlandish people that speak gibberish. Crop the first fruits of Virgins I'l take heed of him. I will n to you, unless you name that h tefull building . Oh what a queame he hath cast over my stomach with that filthy word. L is? Thais? W lke where your way is, And to ll us what this Play is.
Plot summary
Plot — Apollo Shroving
The people are summoned to do Shrovetide homage to Apollo and'present any grievances they may have; it is rumoured that many will be indicted for encroaching on the god’s prerogative, Novice gets himself enrolled in Compliment’s school of etiquette, which is currently fashionable. Compliment hopes to be granted a licence to run his school, and asks Lauriger to intercede with Apollo to that end. He tries to cheat his rich pupil Jingle, who ===== PAGE 261 ===== LGo2y. pays monthly fees, by reckoning a month as four weeks, so that there are thirteen months in the year. At Apollo’s court, Compliment is launched into the air with fireworks, and his page Implement is sentenced to a year repairing damaged school books. Jingle is sentenced to spend all his inheritance on bodily pleasure, leaving him with nothing to live on in his old age. Novice is simply sent back to school. Amphibius is in love after receiving an amorous letter from Queen Hedone, delivered by Siren, but his friend Philoponus points out that the address is in a different handwriting from the letter: it is a forgery. In fact, Siren is tempting many votaries of Apollo to apostasy. She also attempts to seduce Lauriger into devotion to Hedone, but he resists her alluring song. At the court, Siren is exposed as an ugly monster. For overestimating his academic abilities, Retro was awarded a three-year penance of only being able to speak backwards. His father seeks Apollo’s clemency, and it is granted. Ludio, who prefers play to his school- work, defends himself learnedly, and is sentenced to an eternity of handling dice without ever being able to play with them.