COMPLIMENT

Go on with the Alphabet of my Titles. Comp troller. Sirrah, you forget the Titles given me by the great Mogull, when I went Ambassador to him from the King of Calecut, a golden mpet sounded them in the Persian language. You masque unknown, unseen. Descend I say to the apprehension of the base vulgar. Give us them n translation. It is well, somewl at towards the superlative of my woe h and pro ssion But Imp. I Like not that word finally. When you rehearse me before the Lady Mu ses, they will think we are at the wall, that thou hast told all my virtues, and offices. I tell thee, not thou, nor the loud long tongue blab am, can give the inventary of my perfections. Thinkest thou with the small wherry boat of thy short memory, to arrive at the Terra incognita of the virtues and in dowments oh mighty Captain Compliment? Ergo therefore my nimble Imp. take away that padlock finally, and in stead of the aforesaid, add to the agge end of my Catalogue, that endless chain which the vulgar Gramatians call e c ra. True: And therefore you know, the motto which I subscribe in banner is plus ultra. What talk you of a Peacock? Where is this Peacock? What Nobiliy? What achievements embolden him to ob upon us with such a request? And hour in a day? I tell thee, young chicken, great Prin ces have not made such a motion unto me without and Ambassador, and a present of a gold chain, or diamond ring, or S me such tri e. Thou knowest our school is thronged. My hands are full. The truth is, my virtuous faculty, joined with a strange dexterity, is so attractive, that I have scholars come flocking unto me, not only from the Theater and Venus Court, but also from Apollos see minarie. I swell, I swell with the stuffings of the Gram mar broo . Nay, Logic and Philosophy does often break up shop, and come to set up at my stall. As for money for stipend or entrance, I do not much stand upon it, neither would I take any, but that I will not embase my facult?. Truly the more cost, the more e worship. A wise saying. Write you that in your table book Master Novice upon my authority. They say that old grey beard Mus us sets up in quisition, and at Apollo keep Court to day. My sweet Siren sent me word this morning, that I know not how many of us should be indi ed for encroach king upon Apollo liberties. Imp. are these young men friends rich? Will they lard us with a fat pension? But will his Oxen give down their milk? Well said, enough. You young man. My servant hath entreated hard for you. I am content to enter taine you upon probation. Overjoyed? What a plain packs affe phrase is that? you must sublimate your joy in triumph thus. Hold me down left I hit my head against a cloud. Sirrah Imp. I honour thee with thanks, a whole bushel, heap measure. I enrich thee with thanks. Thou hast brought a pretty fat fowl to our net. Is not the hour come appointed by me to give access and interviw to Sir Orgolio? I tell . I am duloros , I am fumbled and sud led, and stum with two horn , grief & anger. Now b y I have her love and shall. With thee? Thou shrub, thou scrub. Thou art below my wrath. The thunderbolt of my indignam cion, where it lteth foe that— Bestunds the tallest oaks: it strikes not at such dazies as thou art, dandiprat. Sir boy, I'm angry with my self, and with a cer taine Knight errant. Didst thou mark even now when Sir Orgoli came to me, desirous to be intoll'd my scholar? No. He was well pleased: but little to my case. The truth is, for fashions sake, I had him to dinner a gainst to morrow at my lodging. And he.— And he, Like and unnurtured swain,— NO. No, Imp. The swain accepted my p sser. Was I so kind and generous to inum to him, and he be so unkind as to come? I tell thee Imp I hate him for it, and if he come, I'll sauce him for it. He shall dine S last. I'll temper the salad with my own hands. Thou hast a pestilent cross witted brain. I think thy conceits do caper the cross point within thy P icranion. But ee how fa e thy reach comes short of mine. Such young cubs as thou, though wily, yet can not extinguish. I extinguish to us upon the point. A man may be said to eat another's meat upon invita cion, oh sans invitat on. Which the vulgar call not in uited walk the second way. I will not be invited. My woe that, my gentle faculty, My brave profession, They are the Orato S, the Messengers, the Sergeants that invite, and driven, and draw me to the tables of the best. I tell thee, my presence adds honour to the place where I come. Where ere I dine, my virtues pay my share, and where I fit, I leave behind me the weet perfume of court sie. But hoe, where is this fly? My Imp. I do vouch safe to stoop so low as to ask thy counsel. It in haunceth my wisdom, to choose such a servant, as is able to advise his Master. The wise Commanders in the wars sometime listen to the counsel of a come mon souldi r, as Worser n Plato says in his politics. What yst thou Imp. What shall I do oh beat this dog from my worser over, it he come to morrow? So you my honour, aithfull Imp. to thee I leave this , But I would know the medi cine whereby thou woulded purge this distemper out of me. I long to see the by that of the child of thy brain. Oh, at the sign oh the flying horse Pegasu . I prithee do not hold e till midnight in the unmasking thy advise. What's this to m e and Sir Orgolio? That none can do but I, and those that learn of me. Well said my boy. I have it now. Therefore Ergo. that Exclusion is, that, as he would prevent murder, he expect not to have me stay at home that day. But how if Sir Orgolio say then he'll continued e thither too, and be my shadow there, and play the under Marshal at my beck? He that would be so uncivil, as to come invited, I dare not trust him where he is not called. What f he return me word that he will come and dine with me next day? That will be for mine honour, that my great Chamber of entertainment is in combustion with the fumes of my hospitality. What sayest thou? Oh how hast thou raised up my heavy heart, I uva rant I weigh ten pound lighter then I did e e while. Now is the time that Master Jingle is to me e with us on Parnassus downs to act his trampling par Uamos. Exeunt. GEntle sir Jingle, the flower of my school, re turn my thanks to the honourable Dame Indulgence thy high deserving Mother, for the glitte ring token the sent me. I shall deserve it in my readi ness to accomplish thee. But where ended we yester day? In case you find a Lady weeping and ournfull, for that her M nkey is sick of the mum , say. Twice worser ble worthy dubbed Maddaine— I have wipe and cla worser the dull spectacle of thy intellect with the Nap of my Comment. What Imp. you are too nimble. Are you so saucy to step before me? Forbidding banes? Away with this forbidding banes. It is a bane ull ominous word, not befitting the wooing . You shall mould all up in the sine pull passed of poetry thus. Twice double worthy dubbed Madame, Whose virtues not the longest tongue can sadome. Oh dismal. Oh dangerous! Take heed of stumbling so with your tongue when you speak of female tongues. Whose virtues not the longest tongue can fathom. Right and straight. Then on. Souse not thy glittering globy eyes In worser eary teary salt sea brine. Know st thou not what globy is? I perceive then thou a no traveller, thou hast not (as I have done) traveled about the globe of the earth. Knowest not what eyes be? I see thou art no Poet, thou hast never read Chau r. Hast thou never herd of eyes tuum ine? Peace thou squeaking pig; or else the bandogs of these hands shall lug thy lagging ears. Souse not thy globyeyne. I tell thee this is not such as it is vulgar lie taken. It is not a butcherly word, it is not descended from the Tripe wife, nor hath it affinity with the fryingpan. Mark the Philosophy of the phrase. The roaring dashing element, the sea is salt, and brine is salt, and trickling tears are S lt. Then thus. Your sour leg'd, two-leg'd, Man imitating, two-handed, long-tailed play fellow, shall be readvanced to his pristine integrity of limbs. Thou art not worthy to be numbered among the two-footed, but rather art to be embased unto the fourfooted. If thou dost not understand how Apes and Monkeys are two-leg'd and two-handed; some time they creep on all four. Imp. show him how, sometime they stalk on tiptoe. Thus. Let me see how you can imitate this. Come off Imp. Enough of this. We will send him hereafter for instruction to Paris Garden, where he shall learn not only Apetrickes, but the whipping oh blind Bears. Good sir, I hope my self, and such men of worth as I, have transported thence already plentiful loads of this French beware, that you shall save the la bour and cost of living there at their deer Ordinam rises and precious dancing-schools, you must there before in your stipend to me allow me, for that which I spent among Counts, Nobles, Knights and Monsiers there; sometime it'h five pound Ordinary, I tell you. I tell you it cost me sour Nobles to the Usher of the dancing school to learn one trick, which they call Le Turn fuseau It wheels a man about, as a boy does a stone in a ho pe, and makes him appear as round and uniform, as a loyne S turned bed post. You are not come to that. Be not so hasty, you are yet but in the Rudiments, and to tell you plain, you must refund to me some charge for other proficiency before we aspire so high. There was another vaulting trick called the ur. It lifts a man up till he grow less and less Like a Hawk after a Heron. Shaw. It cost me. Let me see. I think it was but twenty. Oh it was the late Queen Mother's Jewel. Thou didstill thou forgetful brat to leave it behind. I should have worn it at this public show. All Parnos sus would have admired it. Thou shalt, because thou art and ingenious Gen tleman Imp. Remember to set down a caveat in the Margin of my Inventary, that no man el e y so much as look on it or have any price set of it. I tell you Master Jingle. It will go near to cost you the manner of Foolingham. You must add. That men and dams may gaze, and say, Wh to is that, that glides along this way? Say rat er all the habitable circumference of this muddy masly earthy globe could not have afforded and suppeditated unto me so melli vous and Indoctri nator, as is the curious Captain Compliment. I tell thee I have written a large book of instru ctions how a man should wear his clothes, on which side his p e should lie in his pocket, which ocking he should draw on first upon ominous days. I sirrah, and there was another, that had the tooth ach seven years after, because he pic to his teeth with the south end of his picktooth, in stead of the north, while he was in his chamber meditating a discourse to be offered up before a beny of Ladies. I, it was touched with a loadstone. What say you? what do you? do you wear a knife about you? Then I must n S tell you my mind. I hoped well that you would prove under my hands, but now I doubt you are no Gentleman, I fear you le never prove fashionable, I will rather employ my pains a bout other my scholars who have vowed never to wear knives. What? wear a knife. Nay I have done with you. We burn day light. I must hast, and muster up my friends and advocates to plead for me in this Court. Sirrah Imp. run to Mistress Jingle, tell her, now it's time. STill I say and swear upon my virtues, that you are mistaken. Have you been so long my scholar, and are you yet unacquainted with the Callender of my stipend book? Apollos Priest must follow his Master's walk, the suns yearly passage through the twelve signs of the Zodiac. I will have nothing to do with Astro nomy. What dost thou tell me of Almanacs? Usurer go by the Almana ke. I scorn that gripping trade. My month is weeks ust, you may remember them by the changing your shirts, every fourth shirt determines my pay. Judge between us? Am not I thine instructer I'll be thy judge. For every one of my months I to changed thee a several strain of Courtesy And so thou hast of me in the year, documents accordingly, their teen to the dozen. Si a Imp. draw out the Catalogue and number them. Remember always the drop withal. It is and excellent emblem, and signifies that for love of your friend, you will cast away your gold, and trample it under your feet, and that's the reason that Gentlemen now adays wear their hatbands lose. Register proceed. Perform it with Imp. that I may view you the better. Do you remember that in arching your arm over his shoulder, you must never touch his band or garment behind, but apprehend the calf with your first touch entirely. Which shows your fervency of love, that you are loath to be unclasped from your friends intimity. Register walk on your monthly pace. I must tell you, you have not God that perfect yet. Oh there's your fault, gentle Jingle. A hundred to one you shrugged but with one shoulder. Nay, you must buy two, that one may reflect up on the other, and then may you at once see your more cion in your shrug both before and behind. My deer scholar, thou must know, there are di vers kinds of shrugges, there is the Misers shrug, and that is accompanied with the scratching of the elbow: the e is the Beggars shrug, and that's done with a quick motion, atching, to make a six foe ted bandog leave his hold. There is a winter shrug, and that's performed with the hands ensconced in a Must, & a Foxe-surr'd continued close gi to. There is a drowsy shrug, and that sometime befalls a gallant, when he has set up all night at Carded , and saved the pulling off his boo es. This shrug is commonly performed with displaying out the arms, and yawn ng with the mouth, which re presents a kind of ibbards face. And lastly, there is a gentle Italian shrug. Nay, you must carry away none of these. You must leave them all behind you. The last and only gentle shrug, is your Italian shrug. That shrug is performed by lifting up both shoulders exactly together with one uniform moti on, somewhat swift, and holding them a while in sus pence, with the neck somewhat couching, and the chin thrust out, then the shoulders are to be let down again, as it were by a double pulley, with a slow motion, which by degrees vanishes. And if you will accomplish it with a grace, you must all the while cast your eyes into a leering posture. Upon diverse occurring cases, very usefully. But especially when you are asked a question, which you cannot deny with safety, nor assent unto with honour. In such a tuum -forked dilemma, the shrug relieves you, and you come off with reputation of wisdom. Put case that some fair and honourable Lady were mentioned at the Table, and thereupon some busy curious Gentleman should ask you whither there passed no terms of love between you and her. To deny it, were a derogation from your honou . To love or be beloved is honourable. For you to acknow ledge it, were perhaps dangerous. Some of the come pany may be your Rival, and so rusty iron may leap out of the Ecle-skin, and 'pricke your skin. Thus Venus may be exchanged for Mars. And of the two, he's the most dangerous companion to a men nam ked side. One shrug quits all this, by which you seem to say, I am not to be examined upon this Interrogatory. I stand upon my guard, all armed in si lent wisdom. But high time it is for us to appear, the Sessi on is begun by this. The villain Pr continued I Like death, and will spare none. Me think I hea e him , Captain Compliment appear. Go Coach it up with your Mother. I and my I could be content to enrol him in our petty form, but that I doubt ome except ns will be taken at the confluence of so many of that tribe, to ou partly. Master Philoponus a sour sloicalll scholar, told me to my teeth, that Apollo should be complained unto, and I accused of robbery, for stealing away his best Hope's. The sea, the brine, the tears, the tears, the brine, the sea. Why may they not all three thus Dam shing, soaking, sousing lie? It is a martial word. I use it often my self, I tell thee. Why then Vamos. I set my legs in endue array, and march on foot down to the plain. This is bore and vulgar. Rather sh your salutation thus. Clarid nam.