ANDREW

Ere I will stoop to a thistle, I will change turns, As good luck comes on the right hand, as the left: Here's for me, and me, and mine. But tell me fellows till better occasion come, Do you seek masters? But what can you do worthy preferment? And I can find two fools unsought, How Like you that? But in earnest, now tell me of what trades are you two? Why sot why callest thou me fool? So does many more then I in Scotland. Any thing that concerns a gentleman to do, that can I do. True. May it please your honour to abase your eye so low, As to look either on my bill or my self. Tell them what thou wilt, and eat that I can best spare from my back parts, and get you gone with a ven geance. Sir. Which sir, your annoations upon Matchavell? A terrible word in the latter end of a sessions. Master were you in your right wits yesternight? I and why not sir, for the greatest Clerks are not the wisest, and a fool may dance in a hood, as well as a wise man in a bore frock: beside such as give themselves to Plulantia, as you do master, are so choleric of complexion, that that which they burn in fire over night, they seek for with fury the next morning. Ah I take care of your worship, this commonweal should have a great lose of so good a member as you are. Is it flattery in me sir to speak you fair? What is it then in you to dally with the King? Why alas sir, in times passed your garments have been so well inhabited, as your Tenants would give no place to a Moathe to mangle them, but since you are grown greater and your Garments more fine and gay, if your garments are not fit for hospitality, blame your pride, and commend my cleanliness: as for your writings, I am not for them, nor they for me. Mighty and magnificent potentate, give credence to mine honourable good Lord, for I herd the Midwife swear at his nativity, that the Fairies gave him the property of the Thracian stone, for who touches it, is exempted from grief, and he that hears my Masters counsel, is already possessed of happiness: nay which is more miraculous, as the Noble man in his infancy lay in his Cradle, a swarm of Bees laid ho ney on his lips, in token of his eloquence. For melle dulcier fluit oratio. Was never such a world I think before, When sinners seem to dance within a net, The flatterer and the murderer they grow big, By hook of crook promotion now is sought, In such a world where men are so missed, What should I do? but as the Proverb says, Run with the Hare, and hunt with the Hound. To have two means, beseems a witty man: Now here in I may aspire and climb, By subtlety for my masters death. And if that fail, well fare and other drift: I will in secret certain letters send Unto the English King, and let him know The order of his daughters over throw. That if my master crack his credit here, As I am sure long flattery cannot hold, I may have means within the English Court To escape the scourge that waits on bade advice. I my liege. I think my mouth was made at first, To tell these tragic tales my liefest Lord. No but your Ida, shall I tell him all? Is married late (ah shall I say to whom?) My master sad: (for why he shames the Court) Is fled away? ah most unhappy flight. Only my self, ah who can love you more? To show my duty (duty passed belief) Am come unto your grace (o graticus liege) To let you know, o would it wear not thus, That love is vain, and maids soon lost and won. Sirrah you must needs go without them, Because my Master must be served. I am Ateukins servant, Signior Andrew, And I say thou shalt not have them. There is the stable, fetch them out if thou darest. Sirrah, sirrah, hold your hand, least I bum you. What say est thou? A fig for them and thee Purveyor, They seek a knot in a ring, that would wrong My master or his servants in this Court. O signior Captain, you show your self a forward and friendly Gentleman in my Masters behalf, I will cause him to thank you. I'll make garters of thy guts, Thou villain if thou enter this office. Alas sir? can I lose that you never had. I will sir, now are two knaves well met, and three well parted, if you conceive mine enigma, Gentlemen what shall I be then, faith a plain harp shilling. The worse luck Jaques, but because I am thy friend I will advise the somewhat towards the attainment of the gallows. I say Jaques, thou must keep this path, and high thee, for the Q. as I am certified, is departed with her dwarf, appa relled Like a squire, overtake her Frenchman, stab her, I'll promise thee this dubblet shall be happy. It shall serve a joll Gentleman, Sir Dominus Monsignior Hangman. Go, and the rot consume thee? O what a trim world is this? My master lius by cozening the king, I by fllattering him: Slipper my fellow by stealing: and I by lying: is not this a wily accord, Gentlemen. This last night our jolly horsekee per being well stepped in liquour, confessed to me the stealing of my Masters writings, and his great reward: now dare I not bewray him, least he discover my knavery, but thus have I wrought: I understand he will pass this way, to provide him necessaries, but if I and my fellows fail not, we will teach him such a lesson, as shall cost him a chief place on penniless bench for his labour: but yond he comes. I now will driven him from his contemplations. O my mates come forward, the lamb is unpent, the fox shall prevail. Whereon divine you sir? If so your grace in such sort give rewards, Let me have nought, I am content to want. By birth a gentleman, in profession a scholar, And one that knew your honour in Edinburgh, Before your worthiness called you to this reputation. By me Andrew Snoord. I tell thee, my Masters horses have galled backs, And therefore cannot fit the King. Purueyr, Purveyor, purvey thee of more wit, darest thou pre fume to wrong my Lord Ateukins, being the chiefest man in Court. Why sir you talk wonders to me, if you ask that questio ̄ . Marry sir, a place of great promotion, where thou shalt by one turn above ground, rid the world of a knave, & make a goodly ensample for all bloody villains of thy profession. Que ditte vous, Monsieur Andrew? Pardon most gracious Princess, if you please, My rude discourse and homely entertain, And if my words may savour any worth, Vouchsafe my counsel in this weighty cause: Since that our liege hath so unkindly dealt: Give him no trust, return unto your sire, There may you safely live in spite of him. What wondrous constancy is this I hear? If English dams their husbands love so deer, I fear me in the world they have no peer. Stand back sir, mine shall stand highest.