RALPH

Hearest thou Ned, nay look if he will speak to me. I pree thee tell me Ned, art thou in love with the keepers daughter? Why then sirrah I'll teach thee how to deceive love. Marry sirrah Ned, thou shalt put on my cap, and my coat, and my dagger, and I will put on thy clothes, and thy sword, and so thou shalt be my fool. Why so thou shalt beguile Love, for Love is such a proud scab, that he will never meddle with fools nor children, Is not Raphes counsel good Ned. He says all England hath no such, and I say, and I'll stand to it, there is one better in Warwickshire. Why is not the Abbot a learned man, and hath read many books, and thinkest thou he hath not more learning than thou to choose a bonny wench, yes I warrant thee by his whole grammar. Sirrah N worser, wouldst feign have her? Why Ned I have laid the plot in my head thou shalt have her already. Marry sirrah thou shalt go to him, and because thy fa there Harry shall not miss thee, he shall turn me into thee; and I'll to the Court, and I'll prince it out, and he shall make thee ei there a silken purse, full of gold, or else a fine wrought sinocke. Marry sirrah, if thou be'st a silken purse full of gold, then on Sundays sheele hang thee by her side, and you must not say a word, Now sir when she comes into a great press of people, for fear of the cutpurse on a sudden sheele swap thee into her plackerd, then sirrah being there you may plead for your self. Then sheele put thee into her chest and lay that in to Lavender, and upon some good day sheele put thee on, and at night when you go to bed, then being turned from a smock to a man, you may make up the match. Where be these vagabond knaves that they attend no better on their maiste ? Sirrah Ned, I'll have no more post horse to ride on, I'll have another fetch. Marry sir, I'll send to the I'll of Eely for four or five dozen of Geese, and I'll have them tide six and six together with whipcord, Now upon their backs will I have a fair field bed, with a Canapi , and so when it is my pleasure I'll flee into what place I please; this will be easy. Wherefore have I such a company of cutting knaves to wait upon me, but to eep and defend my countenance against all mine enemies: have you not good swords and bucklers. Sirrah I am the master of these good fellows, mayest thou not know me to be a Lord by my reparrell. Ned strike him, I'll warrant thee by mine honour. Why servant Ned, will not the friar do it. Were not my sword glued to my scabbard by conjuration, I would cut off his head and make him do it by force. Faith Ned and I'll lord it out till thou comest, I'll be Prince of Wales over all the black pots in Oxford. I am father doctor as a man would say, the Belwe there of this copany, these are my lords, and I the prince of Wales. Sirrah Miles, bring hither the tapster that drew the wine, and I warrant when they see how soundly I have broke his head, theile say it done by no less man than a prince. Doctors whose doting nightcaps are not capable of my ingenious dignity, know that I am Edward Plantagenet, whom if you displease, will make a ship that shall hold all your colleges, and so carry away the Niniuersitie with a fair wind, to the Bankeside in Southwark, how sayest thou Ned Warraine, shall I not do it? What sayest Miles, shall I honour the prison with my presence? And upon that I will led the way, only I will have Miles go before me, because I have herd Henry say, that wise dome must go before Majesty. Sirrah Harry, shall Ned marry Nell. Marry Harry follow my counsel, send for friar Ba con to marry them, for heel so conjure him and her with his Necromancy, that they shall love together Like pig and lamb whilst they live. That she will never scold with Ned nor fight with me, Sirrah Harry I have put her down with a thing unpossible, Why Harry didst thou ever see that a woman could both hold her tongue and her hands, no but when egge-pies grows on appletrees, then will thy grey mare prove a bag piper. Marry every time that Ned sighs for the keepers daughter, I'll tie a bell about him, and so within three or four days I will send word to him father Harry, that his son and my master Ned is become Loves morris dance. Why sirrah Ned weel ride to Oxford to Friar acon, o he is a brave scholar sirrah, they say he is a brave N gromancer, that he can m ke women of devils, and he can juggle cats into Costermongers. Why his love is Like unto a tapsters glass that is bro ken with every touch, for he loved the fair maid of Fressingfield once out of all hoe, nay Ned never wink upon me, I care not I. God thank you when I have it on my back Ned, You love her, madam Nell, never believe him you though he swears he loves you. Sirrah, Will Ermsby, Ned is deceived. And sirrah Lacy, buy me a thousand thousand milli on of fine bells. I so she will promise me two things.