HOLDFAST

I hope my books are all in health. I have been idle Since I came up from Cambridge, go to my stationer And bid him send me Swarez Metaphysics, Tolet de anima is new forth, So are Granadus commentaries on Primui see undae Thomae Aquinatis, Get me the Lyricke Poets. And — John Taylor, get me his nonsense. And a hundred of Bookers new Almanacs. You will displease my patience Tristram. I say Tristram, the spirit of my learning stirs me up To give thee endue correction. Oh far stranger. Why cousin I had thought. Well You shall persuade me, I'll be and errant ass, or any thing For thy sake coz, but shall we have such wenches As are at Cambridge, handsome as peg Larkin. Tristram shall toth' College and fell my books imme diately. I'll not keep a prayer book. Nor a Calendar, to look the age oth' Moon in, Trist. be sure You burn G eens groats worth of wit; I scorn to keep The name of wit about me. Take them: I will not leave a pen within my lodging, I will forget to write, or set my hand to any thing. I'll go put this blessed design in execution, Cousin anon isle meet you at your chamber. I would be loath, now I am passed a fresh man to be had into the butteries. Rare, I've God more learning from him in half and hour, Then in a whole life's practice out of books. Follow me Tristram, farewell deer cousin. Ex. Hold. Trist. She goes naked then, The Tailer has no hand in her; may I see her? My name is Holdfast. His proper son and heir, and I am come To see your Daughter and your Niece. I come from Cambridge : What do you see in these my looks, should make you Judge me such a Coxecombe. My father was and arrant ass for's labour, I never read book in all my life, except The Counter scuffle, or the mere y Gossips, Raynard the Fox, Tom Thumb, or Gargantua, And those i've quite forgotten: I a scholar! He lies in's throat that told you so. I am a Bastard else. Yes, of Epping, One that will venture five hundred pounds upon his horse, Soon as the proudest he that lives in London, I'll play my Crop-eare against my Lord Majors Steed, And all his furniture: I do intend To scour Hide Park this summer. You did not take me for and Ass I hope. I know it's but oth' sixes; and I hate Liquour of that complexion: pray commend me To both my sweethearts. Tristram come lets back, And, as my Cousin says, drink lusty sack. Nay, come forward Land lord Spoiled else. Trist. Bus. 'Tis my Cousin lodgings, pray be bold in't, As is my Chamber. Cousin this is a Constable. No, I'll warrant you, I Brought him Sir to see you; he's a wit, A very wit, or as the moderns term it, A spark, a mere spark, such a one as I am Since I left off those idle toys called books, He'll take Tobacco too, and with a grace Spit ith' rubbed chamber, though his testy wife, Cry fie upon him: he's a very spark, and worthy your acquaintance. You are a spark still Landlord. Yes, and and honest one, I e say that for him, He never stopped wench in's watch. I am the spark sir. I imagine It was some bastard of my father's, got In youth upon his Tailors wife or Laundress, He has good store of them, but master Alderman You now conceive I me son and heir apparent Unto the Holdfasts, whosoever God me, That's not much matter. Both of them good father, Be not so troublesome, but let me take A view of them: Sir Timothy which do you Like best of these two Ladies? Yours shall be The choice noble Sir Timothy. On my gentility yours. It discreetly Thought on, I would do nothing rashly. True sir Timothy ; Speak as it were to let us understand By and Irony as we the learned call it, How well they mean to use us: therefore in My judgement it were requisite with all speed, While there in this good humour To strike the match up. As sincerely As ere we mean to eat. Before The Congregation, or at a Commencement Before the University. On my gentility. And feel us too ere morning, 'tshal go hard else. Sir Timothy, was not this wisely carried: To let them have their sayings? but we will not Be such stark fools to do what we have promised; When they're ours once, we may rule them easily At our own pleasures. Landlord, welcome On my Gentility, to my house that must be. Thou thoughtest, because I did wear Lokram shirts Idem no wit: but hark thee, I have God The wench of Gold: Sir Timothy, and I Have struck the stroke old boy: to night's the night, Thou shalt know more of it ere twelve of Cl e, And then believe me: Grimes go you to office; There's money, fetch a Licence. And favours too, Thy daughter Nell shall have my Bride gatters, And thy foreman my points: But hones Landlord, I know the art excellent at a device, This matter must be private, not my father, Nor Mr. Alderman must be acquainted, Till all is finished: Could thy wit but help us To plot this finely: Clare and Grace will meet us, At any place where weel appoint. Come Sir Timothy. Ex. Hold. Time. Grimes. 'Tis I Landlord, There's sixteenpence to buy thy watch some . Prithee tie up their tongues. Why good Landlord, You will spoil all, do you not know your tenent, Not Jeremy Holdfast ? There's ten shillings Landlord To buy thee sack: although it be thy office, And thou art sworn to't, for a friend 'tis lawful To break and oath: I will forswear my self A hundred times to do thee good. Nay, come forward Ladies, Although your father sweetheart, be in our search, Be not abashed, come forward, though you kept Your tongues in peace, ere since our going forth, And never spoke word, unless before the Parson When we committed Matrimony, yet now Pull of your Masks and Vails, and show your faces, Be not ashamed of them. No more words sir, 'tis done, I and sir Timothy we hit the white: Good father Covet be not ungry mood now I have wed your daughter, And he your Niece, weel use them kindly: pray you Bid give us joy; your daughter is so fearful, She dares not ask you blessing. Nell, I did not think you would have served me thus Unkindly, gentle Nell. Sayest thou so; Give me thy hand: Father pray be not angry, My Wife's my wife, and so I will maintain her Gainst all the world. Sir Timothy, your spouse Is not to be contemned, she's a good girl. And therefore pray regard her. I shall observe my Cosens rule, never fear me. You do not think me damned sir, you bestow That salutation on me. Sir, my discourse Points at one Alderman Covet. Good Mr. Covet, I covet your acquaintance: I understand you have a daughter is Of most unknown perfections. Worser ID you ere we departed from the College Orelooke my library?