BUSY

Save you gentlemen. 'Tis granted gentlemen, This is my Character, I am by trade A Linen Draper. Would, how's that sir? I have more wit I thank you: cause you seem A Gentleman of quality, I care not To venture as much Cambricke as shall make Your Crush a gorget, but oh farther, sir, There is no wit in't: how's that Mr. Holdfast ? 'Tis my humour, My wit has half and one me long ere this; But for my wit Idem be j and Alderman, And twirld a pondrou chain upon the bench, With as much grace as can the formalst of them: I should have fined for Sheriff, but all Guild Hall Hearing I was a wit, cried out upon him, 'Twill breed and alteration in the Senate, To have a wit amongst them. How's that sir? How's that? I scorn it, I have stopped a hundred in my time: how's that sir? You relish wit I see. For now sir, It is my frequent use, when I have set My watch, to view the Tavern, drink a quart, And then back to my business, and there wit in't. How's that, anon before I set my watch, I'll visit you again: meantime, pray give my Daughter Luce leave to come home, her sister Poor wretched, is troubled with a pain ith' Bottom oth' body, pricks even to her very heart, And I would have Luce go toth' Pothecaries, And get some Besar stone, they say it'll cure her. Farewell good Ladies, you'll be sure to come Luce. Ex. Busy. How's that? I'll set you presently ith' way; my house Shall be your rendezvous: soon after ten. The hour of meeting: there I'll have prepared For the two Ladies a Sedan: that shall Carry them thence unseen through the watch At Ludgate, where I exercise my office, Into Whitefriars, there shall a little Levite Meet you, and give you to the lawful bed. With much celerity: give me your money, & isle take out the li cence. How's that now? Mean time my daughter Lu e shall give them notice How all's contrived, they'll be willing, When they shall know the managing's committed To my discretion; but about your business; It will grow late oth' sudden. So, so, as I would have it: if I do not Do something to exalt the fame of Constables, May I be hanged upon my staff of Office. Would! Valentine and Freewit with my daughter? They must not see me. Exit. I have overheard them all, and it onduces. Much to my purpose: now, or never Busy Show thy self a true spark, that Constables Hereafter may be thought to have some wit More than is in their staff. Good day to you gallants, I have some business with you. The same body, Your friend, although a Constable there were two Ladies Went lately from you. They told me, as I am of their council, that they loved you. And though some words of cou see had passed between you, As oft does among friends: you know the Proverb put lately In a Ballad, where I learned it, that amantiumirae amoris redinte g atio est : yet that was but in jest, and in all haste, Wished me to assure you, that if you would speedily Take out the Licences this very night, betwixt nine and ten, at my House they would meet you, and join with you in Matrimony. How's that? upon the faith sir of a man in office, You may believe me: for a P jest, leave that To my care gentlemen, isle have one ready Privately in Whitefriars, the house anon I will inform you, and what way to take To miss pursuit, if any should endeavour Your apprehension. When 'tis done, then thank me; mean time make haste, and get the licences. Ex. Free. Val. I will pursue the rest, and if I fit not some body, Let me be held as other of my fellows are, Asses in office. Luce thou art come as aptly as I could wish: be sure at nine of Clock to be at home, and if you can bring with you two of the gentlewomen's gowns, question not why? But on my blessing do it; if this hit, Time shall report some Constables have wit. Ex. There is the Licence sir for Mr. Holdfast, And wise Sir Timothy ; you have instructions How things ought to be carried: when I have Disposed my Watch, I will be there my self; Mean time good Sir be careful. Well said neighbours, You're chatting wisely over your Bills and Lanthorns, As becomes Watchmen of discretion: pray you Let's have no wit amongst you; no discourse O'the Commonwealth; I needs not neighbours give you Your charge to night: only for fashion sake. Draw near and be attentive. First, then, You shall be sure to keep the peace; that is, If any quarrel, be ith' streets, fit still, and keep Your rusty Bills from bloodshed; and as't began So let it end: only your zeals may wish The Devil partly them. Next, if a thief chance to pass through your watch, Let him depart in peace; for should you stay him, To purchase his redemption he'll impart Some of his stolen goods, and you're apt to take them, Which makes you accessary to his theft, And so fit food for TO urn. Next if a drunkard of a man disguised, Desire to pass the gate, by all means open't, You'll run your selves intoth' premunire, For your authority stretches but to men, And they are beasts by statute. How's that; you carry lanthorns, Thou hast wit, and I'll reward't, there's four tokens To buy the cheese: next for the female creatures, Which the severer officers ith' suburbs Term girls, or wenches, let them pass without Examining where they been: or taking from them A single token: lass good souls, they get Their money hard, with labours of their bodies, And to exact on those were even extortion Beyond a brokers. How's that? we are bidden Not to take ill examples, for your selves you have Free leave for the good oth' common wealth to Sleep after eleven: mean time you may play at Tray trip, or cockall for black puddings, So now your charge is finished. How's that, pray stay , You're sober men and fit : Whither goes all this carriage? , These are the cunningest wooden bawnly houses, Were ere invented, and these blue coat men , The most authentic pimps: set down and open Your chair of sin you How's that? not my father Upon a watch, I'll lay my life they've stolen Some city orph e, they're so loath to have Their load discovered. Jam Appeased, march on: look you remember my Instructions: so this money was well got, And 'tshall as merrily be spent, you needs no More, club your half pence sparks to purchase Ale, You've and exchequer: would another chariot, Int. This same should be some Lady from a labour, Her waiters smell of groaning cheese: goodnight Gentlemen, pay the Porter, what is't twelve pence Share it amongst you. How's that hang it, It is heretical: Sack's the Orthodoxal Liquour: and now I think ont, you two, and Mendwell Shall with me to the Saint Johns head: there is A cup of pure Canary, and we have it, 'Twill break your heads, your own bills, And wear your Lanthorns in your noses bullies: My Master's, you that stay behind observe My charge with strictness, and if any business Be of importance, call me. Set down your trusty Bills my sparks, and let us Watch over a cup of Sack, here 'tis will make you Each one and Alderman: a bigger glass boy, I do not love these thimbles, they are fit For none but precise Tailors, that do sip, In zeal, and swear cuds nigs over their wine, To cheat their customers: so this is something. A score or two of these my sparks, will set Our brains a float, and then weel talk as wisely, As all the common counsel, how's that now? How's that? thou shalt be A Constable within this half hour Mendwell, Carry thy staff with the read Cross and Dagger In as much state, as the best gold smith, That ere boar office in Cheapside; here's to thee, Hang care and Cozenage; let mercers use it In the dark shops: I am a Linen Draper, Love wit and Sack, and am resolved to thrive by't, When they shall break Like bottles: Here lets nvas This quart, and then will bombast off another, And drink a health to Holland, and the mad boys That trail the puissant Pike there: how's that; do you peep? These squeakers, do claim more Privilege in a Tavern, Then a man in office; into every room They thrust their frizzled heads; and Idem been at it With some distressed Damsel, that I had taken Late in my watch, thus Idem been served: isle have And Edict made against them at Guild Hall, Next sitting certainly. There you lie boy; I doubt it is some lamentable stuff, Oth' Swine-faced ge lewoman, and that yowl grunt out Worse than a parish Boar when he makes love Unto the Vicars sow; her story's stale boy, IT has been already in two plays. How's that? a Constable, 'Tis not my self; I hope ime not exalted Into a ballad: Dare you sirrah abuse Officers in your Madrigals; you deserve, And so does he that made , to be whipped for't. How's that? Well, on thy credit I will hear it. Callin your company; welcome my Master : Here: wet your first, then thund forth Some lofty Sonnets in the praise of Constables; And never fear the whipping-post hereafter. And if he be The Major and his horse, let them come up. Flinch Squeakers into another room: Good Mr. Alderman 'Tis strange you are abroad so late, wil't please you Ent. Cov. Sir Geff. Formal. To taste a cup a Sack, 'twill warm your stomach After your walking. How's that? I hope yowl let us Drink off our sack first: it far better sir, In my poor judgement, that you sat down in peace, As does befit your gravity, and drink A friendly cup or two: then for the first Offence to send your neighbour to the Counter: Pray sir be not so fierce; a glass, or two Will mollify your hard heart. Pray do not sir: Perhaps you're bashful sir, and will not dr nke, Cause you want coin to pay: isle lend you some; Or if you scorn to borrow, you may dip Your chain; a good pawn never shames the master. Pray fit down sir; we just now had Music, I'll call them in again. You may see sir, My Watchmen know their duty, they'll obey None but the Constable, and isle experience, If they'le know me for one: My Master's, take This Alderman and his company I charge you, And carry them straight to the Counter, isle secure you against all the harm that follows. Yes, and answer't too sir. Y'ave met a Constable that has the wit, To know the power of's office: neighbour Mendwel, Because they'le take him for a Rat ith' Counter, And Idem be loath to have his reverend b rd Be twitched off for his Garnish, to my house Convey him, and that comely Knight, and bid My maid show them a Chamber; isle deal kindlier With you, then you'd have done with me: there watch them Till I come home: how's that now? Let him have A good fire pray you. So, all works as't had been Moulded afore in wax: boy there's your reckoning. Now to my sparks, Ive done that will be talked on ith' City, And registered, a Constable was witty. Bless you my hearts of gold, and give you joy. Frown not good Mistress Clare, I knew your mind And so fulfilled it. How's that? I hope your husbands Anon will serve you sweetlier: faith I thought There was no wit in't, that you two should cast Your selves away on two such gulls, your portions. Deserved more noble husband : therefore finely After you were gone down, to take your Chariot, Instead of them, when ith' mean while my daughters Held in discou see, I sent these, now your husbands To exercise their office: Now you are married. I shall have Gloves I hope? How's that? matched them To two will hold them play: Come will you ravaile Your father Mistress Grace is at my house, Thither you shall, and if he will be angry, Let him be pleased again Advance my sparks I'll be your valiant Exeunt. How's that? Give me thy good brother Knight, my daughters Shall not come without portions; they shall have Each one a Bolt of Holland that's enough. Son Knight give me thine too; and son Holdfast Weel be as merry boys, and drink old Sack In plenteous glasses, till we all grow witty, A humorous Poets to your beds, there ready, Your wedding dinner shall be mine, weel dance. And have the Song oth' Constable; March fair, And get each one a chopping boy by Morning; I and my Watchmen here will drink your healths, Though we do loose our own by it. THey are both sparks, that's certain, ere I take them in my watch, I'll make them stoop Under my staff of office, Mistress Clare, Though I 'me a Citizen, and by my charter, Am not allowed much wit, as being free Oath Linendrapers, and a man in office, Yet if my counsel, if you please to follow it, Do not revenge you on these saucy mad caps, May taking up of Holland at deer rates, Be quite abjured by courtiers: and I canvased Out of authority, how's that now? How's that Lady? I were unworthy else to thrive by linen, Could I not keep smock secrets for your uncle, Your father mistress Grace, I care not for him, Although he be right worshipful and and Alderman, As I may say to you he has no Wit then the rest oth' bench: what lies in's thumb-ring, Yet I do love you dearly for the kindness Shown to my girl here, and because you have Some flashes in your brains: and since you have Opened the case to me, ere we proceed To sentence, tell me seriously do not you two Love Valentine, and Freewit? How's that? I would my wife were dead; two comely lasses, Such as sometime I light on in my watch, would make fit wives for such rude sparks, and shall Go hard but I will for your sakes sweet beauty's, Number a brace of such found u tell to them, If you'll give way to it. How's this? Gentlemen I shall have gloves I hope. Well done boy. There's twelve pence for you Knaves, and tell the Poet That made it, if heel come to me, isle give him A quart of Sack to whet his Muse. Ent. Drawer.