in The Hollander (Love's Trial) — Glapthorne, Henry
Metadata
Play
The Hollander (Love's Trial)
Author
Glapthorne, Henry
Year (catalogued)
1640
First performance
1636
Decade
1640s
Genre
Comedy
Play type
Boys Professional
Company
Queen Henrietta Maria's Men
Theater
before the Court;Phoenix/Cockpit;Indoor Professional
Speech prefix(es)
Pop.
Words
1489
Characters
8229
Typicality
0.45 (cosine to cluster centroid)
TCP id
A01773
BritDrama no.
2536
Cluster
Cluster 12 — Wooers, gallants & courtly love-talk
Important excerpts
Passages from this character's speech that contain the most distinguishing words for Cluster 12 (signor, sal, zelmane, handkerchief, absolon, dissemble…). Matches are highlighted.
Fixed brow: yet I must tell you, you are a factress of the Devils, one who fell damnation pleasingly as Asps Infuse their itching venum: a standing pool, On whose salt womb the too lascivious sun Begets of Frogs and Toads a numerous offspring. Compared with you is empty of corruption. Gam y u be a woman, & utter this, the hight
Full speech
With licences, is not this a receiptacle For sinners? Pish, seem not to obscure, is it not in plain terms, a house of ease. Where one may do his business with fear of Marshal, Constable, or any one of that most awful tribe. Shall I have answer sir? I come as hight from sea, as a Hollander from herring fishing, I have and appetite, The most insatiate citizen who frequents Your mansion cannot tame; had she been fed With amber possets, eaten sparrows eggs, or her accustomed Bevendy, been the juice of Clare or Sparagus. This must not fright me, do you not keep a pimping Roaring varle noted as much as big, have you not constant She uldiers in your citadel, none such, Had Hollands Leager, Lambeth Marsh is held A Nunry to your College. Come here's gold, be not so bashful, Mistress pray receive it, I know you are open handed. Yet least I should mistake you, though I am by all Truth confident this is the house: pray resolve me; Has the Lady Yellow a chamber here? I did believe it. Nay speak directly suppositions: include a doubtful sense, if she have not, I shall repent the error of my language and crave your mercy. As any woman else is for my money, only I must con fesse, I have and itch, a tickling thought to her before the rest of common prostitutes: I know she'l lodge in none but vicious houses, which enforces me think yours is so. Is this she sir? If Africa did produce no other monsters, there would Be more cuckold in it then Lyons, but to my business, Madam the old tradition of this house invites your Knowl dge to conceive for what I sent to speak with you. Truly it does, I hope I shall obtain The virgin glories of this days encounter, Come shalls kiss, and then retire into your chamber. And excellent creature one whose meanest smile Would tempt a votary earnest at his prayers, Before the image of his tutelar Saint; to vary his Fixed brow: yet I must tell you, you are a factress of the Devils, one who fell damnation pleasingly as Asps Infuse their itching venum: a standing pool, On whose salt womb the too lascivious sun Begets of Frogs and Toads a numerous offspring. Compared with you is empty of corruption. Gam y u be a woman, & utter this, the hight desire of quails, To yours is modest appetite, you carry A stone about you, not to warm your blood Oppressed with chilly cold, but to inflame it Beyond all sensual heat, which you would extinguish, (Had you a soul about you) with your tears, Or weep with the continuance that tall Pines Diffuse their gummy drops in summer, and Faster then trembling Isicles, or snow, at their own dissolution. What divine creature should the other be, well master Doctor, we shall be even with you. They speak French, I understand them not. Good sir be more your self. He's gone, but has left his hanger behind him. Sir be not so extremely passionate, Discourse your grievance mildly, hear her answer, Then censure justly of her. Good uncle speak more kindly to her, alas she weeps. Heyday, here's laughing and crying both with a wind, As boys do, a juglar's but and ass to a right woman. Pardon me Madam, he is my uncle. The Lady Popingaies. Your goodness Madam will forgive it on my submission and sorrow for it. 'Tis the same face, or else some Angel does Assume this shape to mock mortality, With the true form of beauty. Life, she speaks too A tempting language, such was our first mother's voice, While she was innocent, most perfect woman. Yes bright virtue. Goodness deludes it self then, I cannot flatter Lady, you mistake me: What I shall speak, comes from and innocence Yet undefiled by falsehood. You cannot afford example of such cruelty To following Lovers, to deprive my sighed so soon Of yours, for whose least view, the dark Cimmerian, blinded With continual sleep, would rouse his heavy eyelids. I love you Lady With the religious fancy, that one Saint Affects another; such a heat as mine Was that, with which the first who ere knew love, Had their souls warmed (essential) not as now The common garb is to adore a lip, Or any other lineament, but for The abstract of perfection, which do's glory In being derived from one so good as you are, Am I become your captive. Be so charitable As to believe I can, who never yet Knew flame was vicious, my desires retain Their maiden purity, no other object Did ere attract my souls unblinded eyes, but your fair self. Soul of sweetness, How equally and Angels intellect Informs her sacred Reason: to love chastely, Could not have been defined with juster strictness, Had we produced the constancy of Swans, Or never changing Turtles, as our patterns, (Had but described chaste love) the Palm that prospers, (Not but by's fellow) and the Vine that weaves Of her own leaves a thin, yet glorious mantle For her naked lover. Do but emblem what Her truth has uttered: but resolve me fair one, Could you affect so? You allege Vain difficulties: I perceive your looks Would be propitious to me, did your will, Ashamed perhaps to suffer sudden conquest, Not play the Tyrant with them, and call back The crimson Nectar from your well-formed cheek To guard your heart from yielding: come, let's kiss, The modest heat proceeding from my lips Will thaw your soul to softness. Sure some white Cherubin, Coming to teach the irreligious earth The ancient truth; in its swift flight to heaven, Pronounced that happy farewell to the souls Its music had converted, I've not lost In my first trial, Like some venturous man, Who finds the Indies, though he get small wealth, Yet he sets forth again, in Hope's at last To lade his winged vessel: I'll return. That fire's not out, which does in Ashes burn. Fairest creature. Can there be on earth, A savageness so great as will conspire To afflict so rich a goodness? yet by your eyes Adorned by those clear pearls which do transform Even sorrow to a loveliness beyond Indifferent beauty, I conceive some fiend Rested in humane shape (for man would never Have dared so vile a sacrilege) in hope By your pure tears, t'extinguish his own flames Caused this distemper in you. I had a younger brother, though not fully blessed In your sweet knowledge, yet once his tongue Was his hearts bold ambassador, and delivered A true narration of his zealous love, Which is in him so permanent, that when his ears receive a notice that your faith Is plighted to another, 'twill be vice Of baleful hemlo ke to his brain, convert it Either to sudden madness or a sleep, cold and erelasting. Trust me Lady, the solitary Nightingale who sings To her lost honour a harmonious ditty, Loves not the thorn so dearly, to whose pricks She sets her feathered bosom, as I me sure My brother tenders you, the gawdy light May sooner be obscured by wandering smoke: Nay the eternal essence of the soul Become corporeal and revisit earth, After its flight to paradise, ere he Descend to variation of his love, could you affect him. Behold him Lady, Whose every motion does as from the sphere, Receive a lively influence from your looks; The modest silence of the temperate Even, When zephire softly murmurs to the flowers A wholesome farewell undisturbed by storms, May sooner rest in one continued night, Then can my soul in quiet without just Assurance of your love, which if you grant, Times native Belman, the shield Organd Cock Shall cease to carol to the morn, The arely Lark that whispers to the Sun A constant Augury of a beauteous day, Shall loose his light plumes in the I kerd Clouds, Ere I my resolute chastity nor can you Invent evasions to declare my suit, Since on its grant relies the only Hope's Of your redemp ion from the barbarous arms, Of him you were espoused to. Passion on passion fallen when Hope's are spent, The best of comforts is a forced content. Thus they must strive Who in loves subtle Merchandise will thrive. We thank you sir, and rest your dutiful children. was with her own consent Sir, and she my wife by your free gift. Humbly I thank you: such another gift, Should Nature offer all her precious store, Could not be given Mortality: but truly sir I had much ado to win her. What means this new married man? Uncle I hope you'll pardon me, that I deceived your expe ctation in watching my Aunt, she is too for ous: father your bles sing, and then we are happy.
Plot summary
Plot — The Hollander (Love's Trial)
Dr Artless has grown rich by taking in resident lady patients, and is concerned that his house should keep its good name. One of his current guests has a jealous husband, Sir Martin Yellow, who believes the house is really a place of assignation, and sends his nephew Popinjay there in search of evidence. Popinjay meets Artless’s daughter, Dalinea, and falls in love. Meanwhile, the apothecary Mixum has sent Artless a young man, Sconce, as a potential son-in-law; Artless is unconcerned that he is a fool because he is also rich. Sconce’s main preoccupation is with Mixum’s weapon-salve which will cure any wound if applied to the weapon that made it. When Sir Martin wounds him in a jealous rage, he takes away Sir Martin’s sword but finds the salve ineffectual and concludes that there must be something wrong with his blood. Another visitor to Artless’s house is Freewit, a suitor to Mistress Know-worth, but she breaks up with him, having heard from Lovering, her servant, that he has slept with the servant-girl Martha and got her pregnant. When he proves reluctant to marry Martha, Mistress Know-worth gives him an alternative: she will consider his suit if he can persuade Martha to release him from his prior obligation. Artless’s servant Urinal offers to prove to Sir Martin that Lady Yellow is chaste: he is to visit his wife in her bedroom, incognito, while the rest of the household is out at Dalinea’s wedding. The problem is that Dalinea doesn’t want to marry Sconce, to her parents’ annoyance. Sconce is interested in the order of the Knights of the Twibill, which allows its members to marry but will not admit anyone who is already married; he is duly determined to be inducted before his marriage. The ceremony requires him to drink heavily and remove his clothes; but the arrival of a constable causes the Twibills to break it off before it is finished, and Sconce is left without his clothes. Dalinea appears to change her mind about Sconce and goes off to marry him alongside another couple. When they return, however, it emerges that there has been some confusion of identity: Dalinea has married Popinjay, dressed in Sconce’s clothes (acquired by Urinal from the Twibills), while the other couple turn out to be Lovering and the drunken Sconce, cross-dressed as a woman. Lovering, moreover, is really Martha (so the marriage to Sconce is valid after all), inveigled into Mistress Know-worth’s service to test her loyalty to Freewit by giving him the undeserved reputation of…