in The Hollander (Love's Trial) — Glapthorne, Henry
Metadata
Play
The Hollander (Love's Trial)
Author
Glapthorne, Henry
Year (catalogued)
1640
First performance
1636
Decade
1640s
Genre
Comedy
Play type
Boys Professional
Company
Queen Henrietta Maria's Men
Theater
before the Court;Phoenix/Cockpit;Indoor Professional
Speech prefix(es)
Mist. Mix. | Mrs. Mix. | Mi. Mix. | Mris. Mix.
Words
539
Characters
2800
Typicality
0.28 (cosine to cluster centroid)
TCP id
A01773
BritDrama no.
2536
Cluster
Cluster 1 — Wives, widows & intimate counsel
Important excerpts
Passages from this character's speech that contain the most distinguishing words for Cluster 1 (nony, tailors, butler, mall, jesu, massinissa…). Matches are highlighted.
pity sir, you are so long unmarried; you are and exceeding handsome Gentleman. Well Master Doctor, I hope my gloves shall be better then the ordinary, I had no small hand in this match, you know. I love to talk with any man in my husbands ab sense; sweet Urinal I will fulfil your pleasure, will you go Mistress? But there might
Full speech
Fie master Sconce, think not of Ladies sir, they are so imperious, a man must serve them as they do command, at every turn and toy comes in their head; they'll puff and fret else, Like their taffeta petticoats withoften brushing up; I will protest to you, you had better set you mind upon some honest country Gentlewoman, or Citizens daughter, Master Doctor has a handsome girl (though I say it before her mother's face) only she wants the audacity, which a man would put into her; would you were married to her: Sir, she may do worse, I dare assure you. Very right, mistress Artless, good souls, did you but know sir, what tender hearts they have, how kind they will be to a gentleman that comes to deal for their commodities, they will use him and it were their own husbands. Fie Mistress Artless, when I was a maid, I had a desire to be a kin to all nations: I have tried some English men, and they are Like my husband, mere meacocks verily: and cannot lawfully beget a child once in seven years. A diew kind master Sconce. Nay in sadness Mistress Dal. you are too blame, the gentleman is and honest gentleman, I and a kind man I warrant him to a woman; your mother and I have made trial of him, and find him of a very good disposition, come chick you shall have him. A very good fortune Mrs Arilesse for your daugh ter, and not to be neglected: shall I speak to him, or will you for sooth? Pray stay sir, we have some business with you, (let me alone to try him Mrs. Artless) beside we had rather be private with a gentleman, then by our selves: they say you Dutchmen are the kindest men, and love a woman heartily, you kiss so finely too. So please you sir, I have another touch for you too, [kisses him] Must try his disposition Mrs. Artless. Pray give me leave to feel his mind first, Mistress Artless: 'Tis pity sir, you are so long unmarried; you are and exceeding handsome Gentleman. Well Master Doctor, I hope my gloves shall be better then the ordinary, I had no small hand in this match, you know. I love to talk with any man in my husbands ab sense; sweet Urinal I will fulfil your pleasure, will you go Mistress? But there might have been, had not my honesty been the greater. And so I could have f ed him as well as another woe man. Your Spaniard as a neighbour of mine, told me who had lived among, is too hasty, he will not give a woman time to say her prayers after she is bed: your French is with a woman as with and enemy, soon beaten off, but mistress Artless, if you will marry your daughter to the most complete man, let him be Dutch: they are the rarest men at multiplication, they will do it so readily. Help gentlemen, help Mr. Doctor, yonder is a man would ravish me whither I would or no, nay killed me, I think he has pulled out the longest naked weapon, Oh there he is.
Plot summary
Plot — The Hollander (Love's Trial)
Dr Artless has grown rich by taking in resident lady patients, and is concerned that his house should keep its good name. One of his current guests has a jealous husband, Sir Martin Yellow, who believes the house is really a place of assignation, and sends his nephew Popinjay there in search of evidence. Popinjay meets Artless’s daughter, Dalinea, and falls in love. Meanwhile, the apothecary Mixum has sent Artless a young man, Sconce, as a potential son-in-law; Artless is unconcerned that he is a fool because he is also rich. Sconce’s main preoccupation is with Mixum’s weapon-salve which will cure any wound if applied to the weapon that made it. When Sir Martin wounds him in a jealous rage, he takes away Sir Martin’s sword but finds the salve ineffectual and concludes that there must be something wrong with his blood. Another visitor to Artless’s house is Freewit, a suitor to Mistress Know-worth, but she breaks up with him, having heard from Lovering, her servant, that he has slept with the servant-girl Martha and got her pregnant. When he proves reluctant to marry Martha, Mistress Know-worth gives him an alternative: she will consider his suit if he can persuade Martha to release him from his prior obligation. Artless’s servant Urinal offers to prove to Sir Martin that Lady Yellow is chaste: he is to visit his wife in her bedroom, incognito, while the rest of the household is out at Dalinea’s wedding. The problem is that Dalinea doesn’t want to marry Sconce, to her parents’ annoyance. Sconce is interested in the order of the Knights of the Twibill, which allows its members to marry but will not admit anyone who is already married; he is duly determined to be inducted before his marriage. The ceremony requires him to drink heavily and remove his clothes; but the arrival of a constable causes the Twibills to break it off before it is finished, and Sconce is left without his clothes. Dalinea appears to change her mind about Sconce and goes off to marry him alongside another couple. When they return, however, it emerges that there has been some confusion of identity: Dalinea has married Popinjay, dressed in Sconce’s clothes (acquired by Urinal from the Twibills), while the other couple turn out to be Lovering and the drunken Sconce, cross-dressed as a woman. Lovering, moreover, is really Martha (so the marriage to Sconce is valid after all), inveigled into Mistress Know-worth’s service to test her loyalty to Freewit by giving him the undeserved reputation of…