TOM TOSSPOT

‡ Nichole newfangle? why we are of old acquaintance, ‡ At your first coming into England well I wot, You were very well acquainted with Tom tospot. ¶ You know when ̄ you brought into englam ̄ worser this new fa ̄ gled kind That tosspots and Ruffians with you were first acquainted, ¶ It is and old saying, that mountains and hills never meet, But I see that men shall meet, though they do not seek. And I promise you more joy in my heart I have found: Then if I had gained and hundred pound. ‡ Indeed Nichole newfangle you say the verity, Her entereth Rafe Roister. For Like will to Like it will none otherwise be. ‡ My friend you are welcome with all my heart. ¶ I am one, which of thy company would be very glad. ¶ It should appear by your sayings y to we are of one mind, For I know that roisters and tosspots come of one kind. And as our names be much of one accord and much Like, So I think our conditions be not far unlike. ¶ Few words are best among Friends this is true, Wherefore I shall briefly show my name unto you. Tom tospot it is, it needs not be painted, Wherefore with Rafe Roister I must needs be acquainted. ¶ I thank you that mine acquainta ̄ ce you will take in good partly. And by my troth I will be your sworn brother: ¶ And to tell you my properties also I shall not spare. ¶ I were to blame if any fault should be in me. * Stay your self I pray you heartily. ¶ I never saw the Like by gogs soul. ‡ Gogs wounds I am Like Phalaris y e made a bull of brass, ‡ Nay I am Like Phalaris that made a bull of brass, As a cruel torment for such as did offend: and he him self first therein put was: Even so are we brought to this end. In ordaining him a judge who will be honoured as a God: So for our own tails we have made a rod. ‡ You know that Tom tospot men do me call, ‡ My conditions I am sure you know as well as I, ‡ But that you are a judge. I would say unto you, Knaves are Christian men else you are a Jew. ¶ Then I trow I am he that this patrimony shall possess, For I am Tom tospot to use this trade doubtless. From morning till night I fit tossing the black hold: then come I home and pray for my father's soul. Saying my prayers with wounds, blood guts and heart, Swearing and staring thus play I my parts. If any poor man have in a whole week earned a groat: He shall spend it in one hour in tossing the pot. I use to call servants and poor men to my company, and make them spend all they have unthriftily. So that my company they think to be so good: that in short space their hair grows through their hood. ¶ Tush I am acquainted with many a woman. That with me will fit in every house and place: But then their husbands had needs to fend their face. For when they come home they will not be a feared: to shake the goodman, and sometime shave his beard. And as for flemish servants I have such a train: that will quasse and carous, and therein spend their gain. From week to week I have this company, Wherefore I am worthy to have the patrimony. ¶ Farewell brother Ray I will come to you anon . ¶ I knew Hance when he was as he says, For he was once a Scholar in good faith. But through my company he was with drawn from thence, through his riot and excessive expense. Unto this trade which now you do in him see: So that now he is wholly addicted to follow me. And one of my guard he is now become: Well Hance well, thou wast once a white son. ‡ I will help thee up Hance give me thy hand, He riseth. ¶ Marry Philip even as I was wunt to do. ¶ Lo Hance her is Philip Fleming come now, we will go drink together now, how sayest thou? ¶ How say you master Nichol will you keep us company? ¶ By Gogs wounds even so it is with me: I am in my doublet and my hose as you see. For all that I had doth lie at pledge for Ale: By the mass I am as bore as my nail. Not a Cross of money to bless me have I, But I trow we shall meet with Nichol newfangle by and by. ¶ Now farewell thou hast thy joust meed: ‡ Gogs heart and his guts is not this too bade? Blood, wounds and nails, it will make a man mad ‡ Many a mile have I ridden and many a nule have I gove: Yet can I not find for me a fit companion. Many there be which my company would frequent, If to do as they do I would be content. They would have me leave off my pride and swearing, My new fangled fashions and leave of this wearing. But rather then I such companions will have: I will see a thousand of them laid in their graven. Similis similem sibi quaerit, such a one do I seek As unto my self in every condition is Like. ‡ Ithank you my friend for your gentle offer to me. I pray you tell me what your name may be. ¶ He will know me by and by I hold you a crown. how dost thou servant hance? how comes this to pass? ¶ Hold up hance I will pledge thee anon. ¶ Now hance right now thou drankest to me, Drink again and I oil pledge thee. ‡ Tush he had more needs to keep his chair. Fit down Hance and thou shalt see anon: Philip fleming will come and fetch thee home. ‡ He is a companion of mine now and then. ‡ There is no remedy for it must needs so be, Like will to Like you may believe me. ‡ He brings in his hand either good ale or else good wine. Troll the bole and drink to me, and troll the bole again a: And put a brown tossed in the pot, for Philip Flemings brain a. And I shall toss it to and from, even round about the house a: Good hostice now let it be so I brinks them all carous a. ¶ Well, be as be may is no banning, But I fear that when this gear shall come to scanning. The land to the which we did wholly trust: Shall be gone from us and we cast in the dust. ¶ So God help me I am glad that you be in sighed: For in faith your presence hath made my hartlight. ¶ You see in what care we now stand in, And you he rd us also even now I ween. Wh good master Nichol let us have this land now: And our selves much bound unto you. ¶ By Gogs blood I thought that it would be so, ¶ Well Rafe roister seeing we be in this misery, And labour we cannot and to beg it is a shame: Yet better it is to beg most shamefully, then to be hanged and to thievery our selves to frame. ¶ O all you parents to you I do say, Have respect to your Children and for their education: Least you answer therefore at the latter day, And your meed shall be eternal damnation. If my parents had brought me up in virtue and learning, I should not have had this shameful end: But all licentiously was my up bringing, wherefore learn by me your faults to amend. But neither in virtue, learning, nor yet honest trade was I bred up my living for to get: therefore in misery my life away must fade, For vicious persons behold not the net. I am in the snare I am caught with the gin: And now it is too late, I cannot again begin. ¶ Thou hast given me a Bottle here: But thou shalt drink first of it be it Ale or beer. ¶ Take this of me in part of recompense.