RHETIAS

I will not court the madness of the times, Nor fawn upon the Riots that embalm Our wanton Gentry, to preserve the dust Of their affected vanities in coffins Of memorable hame when Commonwealths Totter and reel from that nobility And ancient virtue, which renowns the great, Who steer the Helm of government, while Much rooms Grow up, & make new laws to licence folly: Why should not I, a May-game, scorn the weight Of my sunk Fortune's? snarl at the vices Which rot the Land, and without fear or wit Be mine own Antic? 'Tis a sport to live When life is irksome, if we will not hug Prosperity in others, and contemn Affliction in our selves. This Rule is certain, " He that pursues his safety from the School " Of State, must learn to be mad man, or fool. Ambition, wealth, ease, I renounce the devil That damns ye here on earth, or I will be— Mine own mirth, or mine own tormentor,—So, Here comes intelligence, a Buz o'the Court. And thou art his forerunner? Agelastus, so surnamed for his gravity, Was a very wise fellow, kept his countenance All days of his life as demurely, as a Judge that Pronounceth sentence of death, on a poor Rogue, For stealing as much bacon, as would serve at a meal With a Calves head. Yet he smiled once, And never but once: Thou art no Scholar? To see and Ass eat Thistles. Puppy, go study to be a singular Coxcomb. Cuculus is and Ordinary Ape, but thou art and Ape of and Ape. Give me thy fist, Innocent. Cuculus, there is within a mile or two, a Sow-pig Hath sucked a Brach, and now Hunt's the Dear, the Hare, Nay, most unnaturally the wild Boar, Aswell as any Hound in Cyprus. Every thing takes after the dam that gave it suck: Where hadst thou thy milk? And who gave thee pap, Mouse? La now, a Shittle-cock-maker, all thy brains are stuck with cork and feather. Cuculus, this lear ned Courtier takes after the nurse too, a she-surgeon, which is in effect a mere matter of colours. Go, learn to paint and daub compliments, 'tis the next step to run into a new suit; my Lady Periwinkle here never sucked; suck thy Master, and bring forth Moon calves, Fop, do; This is good Philosophy, Sirs, make use on't. Phew, you may wheel about, man, we know you're proud of your slovenry and practice, 'tis your for tue; the Princes melancholy fit I presume holds still. You must not go yet. Mountebank, Empricks, Quacksalvers, Mi neralists, Wizards, Alchimists, cast-Apothecaries, old Wives and Barbers, are all suppositors to the right Worshipful Doctor, as I take it. Some of ye are the head of your Art, & the horns too, but they come by nature; thou livest single for no other end, but that thou fearest to be a Cuckold. Have at thee again. Thou art in thy Religion and Atheist, in thy condition a Cur, in thy diet and Epicure, in thy lust a Goat, in thy sleep a Hog; thou takest upon thee the habit of a graven Physician, but art indeed and impostrous Emperike. Physicians are the bodies Cobblers, rather the Butchers of men's bodies; as the one patches our tattered clothes, so the other solders our diseased flesh. Come on. Would, would, would; this is flattery, gross flattery. Are thy bottles full? Like so many Swine in a trough. He shall fret or laugh. The melody must agree well, and yield sport, When such as these are, Knaves and Fools consort. Of Woodcock without brains in't; Barbers shall wear thee on their Citternes, and Hucksters set thee out in Gingerbread. Mum, Butterfly. I do not think at all. My pity you are— But not my reprehension. Yes, for I pity such to whom I owe service, who exchange their happiness for a misery. Princes who forget their sovereignty, and yield to affected passion, are weary of command. You had a Father, Sir. Nothing. I only dared to name him; that's all. Oh Sir, I had rather hold a Wolf by the ears, then stroke a Lion, the greatest danger is the last. All this may be. I have seen a man so curious in feeling of the edge of a keen knife, that he has cut his fingers. My flesh is not of proof against the metal I am to handle; the one is tenderer then the other. I will remember you of and old Tale that something concerns you. Meleander, the great (but unfortunate Statesman, was by your Father treated with for a Match between you and his eldest daughter, the Lady Eroclea. You were both near of and age. I presume you remem ber a Contract, and cannot forget Her. To Court was Eroclea brought, was courted by your Father, not for Prince Palador, as it followed, but to be made a prey to some less noble design.—With your favour I have forgotten the rest. You charm me. In brief, a Rape, by some bade Agents, was attempted; by the Lord Meleander her father rescue, she conveyed away Meleander accused of treason, his Land seized, he himself distracted and confined to the Castle where he yet lives. What had ensued was doubtful. But your Father shortly after died. She never since was herd of. Sir, I fear I should anger ye. There was, as I said, and old Tale: I have now a new one, which may per haps season the first with a more delightful relish. My Lord Meleander falling, on whose favour my Fortune's relyde, I furnished my self for travail, and bent my course to Athens, where a pretty accident after a while came to my knowledge. A young Lady contracted to a noble Gentle man, as the Lady we last mentioned, and your Highness were, being hindered by their jarring Parents, stole from her home, and was conveyed Like a Shipboy in a Mere chant, from the Country where she lived, into Corinth first, and afterwards to Athens; where in much solitari ness she lived Like a Youth almost two years, courted by all for acquaintance, but friend to none by familiari tie. A handsome young man, till within these three months, or less, her sweet hearty Father dying some year before, or more, she had notice of it, and with much joy returned home, and as report voiced it, at A them enjoyed her happiness: she was long and exile: For now Noble Sir, if you did love the Lady Eroclea, why may not such safety and fate direct her, as directed the other? 'tis not impossible. My duty and my obedience are my surety, But I have been too bold. What S your meaning? A picture in a Tablet. I do—yes—let me observe it— 'Tis hers, the Ladies. Erocleas. I am your Creature. I have a fist for thee too (Stripling) th'art started up prettily since I saw thee. Hast learned any wit abroad? Canst tell news, and swear lies with a grace Like a true Traveller? What new Owzle's this? All three—I'll go too. Hark in thine ear, Gallant: I'll keep the old mad man in chat, whilst thou gabblest to the girl: my thumb's upon my lips, not a word. Troop on—Love, Love, what a wonder thou art? How a eyes the company: sure my passion will betray my weakness—Oh my Master, my Noble Master, do not forget me, I am still the humblest, and the most faithful in heart of those that serve you. There's wormwood in that laughter, 'tis the usher to a violent extremity. This is sense yet in this distraction. I'll follow him. My Lord Amethus, use your time Respectively. Few words to purpose soonest prevail: Study no long Orations; be plain and short, I'll follow him. Bow, Bow, wow, wow; the Moon's eclipsed, I'll to the Churchyard and sup: Since I turned Wolf, I bark and howl, and dig up graves, I will never have the Sun shine again, 'tis midnight, deep dark mid night, get a prey, and fallen too, I have catched thee now. Are. I'll soope thee up. Thar't and excellent fellow. Diabolo. Oh this lousy closestool Empricks, that will undertake all Cures, yet know not the causes of any disease. Dog-leaches. By the four Elements I honour thee, cooed find in my heart to turn knave, and be thy flatterer. He chafes hugely, fumes Like a stew-pot; Is he not monstrously overgone in frenzy? Corax, to praise thy Art, were to assure The misbelieving world, that the Sun shines, When 'tis in full Meridian of his beauty. No cloud of black detraction can eclipse The light of thy rare knowledge; henceforth casting All poor disguises off, that play in rudeness, Call me your servant: only for the present, I wish a happy blessing to your Labours; Heaven crown your undertakings; and believe me, Ere many hours can pass, at our next meeting, The bonds my duty owes, shall be full canceled. I have been diligent (Sir) to pry into every cor ner for discovery, but cannot meet with him: There is some trick I am confident. I have apprehended a fair Wench, in and odd Private lodging in the City, as Like the Youth In face, as can by possibility be discerned. If it be not Parthenophill in long coats, 'Tis a spirit in his likeness; answer I can get none from her; you shall see her. I'll send him t'ee. The Prince and Princess are at hand, give over your amorous Dialogues. Most honoured Lady, hence forth forbear your sadness: are you ready to practice your instructions? My knowledge made me sure of my report, Sir. Sir, I am here. Sir true, you have; and this most learned Scho ler Applied t'ee. Oh you were in dangerous plighted Before he took you hand. The more your glory in the miraculous cure. I hope it will, Sir. The goodman relisheth his comforts strangely, The sighed does turn me child. Now they fallen too't, I looked for this. Sir, with your Noble savour, Kissing your hand first, that point I can answer. Your graven Brother Perceived with what a hopeless love his son, Lord Menaphon, too eagerly pursued Thamasta, Cousin to our present Prince; And to remove the violence of affection, Sent him to Athens, where for twelve months space Your daughter, my young Lady and her Cousin Enjoyed each others griefs, till by his Father The Lord Sophronos we were all called home. Here's the Glass, Sir. The Prince my Lord in person. Sir, 'tis truth and justice.