WILDBRAIN

There is no leisure; think when thou hast embraced her Can she imagine thou didst ever honour her, Ever believe thy oaths, that tamely sufferest And old dry ham of horse flesh to enjoy her Enjoy her Maiden head; take but that from her That we may tell posterity a man had it, A handsome man, a gentleman, a young man, To save the honour of our house, the credit, 'Tis no great matter I desire. Free us both from the fear of breeding fool's And ophs, God by this shadow: we talk too long. Such a dainty Do, to be taken By one that knows not neck beef from a Pheasant, Nor cannot relish Braggat from Ambrofia. Is it not conscience. A meritorious thing. No wringings in your mind now as you love me. Do, do, and dream of Dotrells, get you to bed quickly And let us would no more stir, come no crying 'Tis too late now, carry your self discreetly, The old thief loves thee dearly, thats the benefit. For the rest you must make your own play, Nay not that way, Theile pull ye all to pieces, for your whim whams, Your garters and your gloves, go modestly And privately steal to bed, 'tis very late Mall, For if you go by them such a new alarm. This way This through the Cloisters: and so steal to bed, When you are there once, all will separate And give ye rest, I came out of my pity To show you this. Here's the keys Go presently and lock the doors fast after ye, That none shall follow. Goodnight sweet Cousin, A good, and sweet night, or I'll curse thee Frank. Move faster, faster, yowl come too late else. I'll stay behind and pray for you, I had rather she were dishonest, Than thou shouldst have her. Why do you rail thus? Cannot a scurvy accident fallen out, But I must be at one end on't? Cannot young sullen wenches play the sooles, And marry, and die, but I must be the agent? All that I did (and if that be and injury, Let the world judge it) was but to persuade her (And as I take it) I was bound to it too, To make the reverend coxecombe her husband Cuckold: What else could I advice her, was there harm i'this? You are of years, and have run through experience, Would you be content if you were young again, To have a continual cough grow to your pillow, A rottenness, that vaults are perfumes to Hang in your roof, and Like a fog infect you; Anointed hammes to keep his hinges turning Reek ever in your nose, and twenty nightcaps, With twenty several sweats. I know not, I am no Conjurer, you may look the body, I was Like to be stolen away my self, the Spirit Had Like to would surprised me in the shape of a woman, Of a young woman, and you know those are dangerous. Farewell good Aunt, I thank you, Adieu honest Neck, the devil if he have power, Will persecute your old bones, for this marriage, Fare well Mistress Win. 'Tis a fine time a night too, but we must partly Neck. No, no, farewell Toby, Farewell spiny Nicholas, no such thing, There be ways i'the world, if you see me A day or two hence, may be we'll crack a quart yet, And pull a bell, commend to the household; Nay, cry not Toby it'll make thy head giddy. No more Toby go, the times may altar — But where's the coarse of my dead cousin, (If she be dead) I hoped 'thad but dissembled That sits heavy here: Toby, honest Toby, Lend me thy Lanthorn, I forgotten 'twas dark, I had need look to my ways now. No, good night good neighhour Toby, I will wander, I scorn to submit my self, ere I have rambled, But whither, or with what, thats more material; No matter, and the worst come it is but stealing, And my Aunt won'ot see me hanged for her own credit, And farewell in a halter costs me nothing. Would, who's that, and thou be'st a man speak? Frank Heartlove, then I bore my destinies, Thou art the man of all the world I wished for; My Aunt has turned me out a doors, she has, At this unchristian hour, and I do walk, Me thinks, Like Guido Faux with my dark Lanthorn, Stealing to set the town a fire; ith' country I should be taken for William o'the Wisp, Or Robin Goodfellow, and how dost Frank? Come, thar't a fool, art going to thy lodging? I'll lie with thee to night, and tell thee stories, How many devils we would met withal; Our house is haunted Frank, whole legions, I saw fifty for my share. How, fright e'm? no, they frighted me sufficiently. Thou art mad, what dost mean? Hold, hear a word; did I do any thing But for your good, that you might have her, That in that desperate time I might redeem her, Although with show of lose. 'Tis my fortune, You could not take me in a better time sir, I would nothing to loose, but the love I lent thee, My life my sword protect. Would, 'tis her Ghost. Fr. Maria. Would she had come sooner, and would saved some blood. Yes certainly, I can both see and feel it. I thank thee heartily; I know not where to get a Surgeon; This vision troubles me, sure she is living, And I was foolish blind, I could not find it; I bleed apace still, and my heart grows heavy, If I go far I faint, I'll knock at this house, They may be charitable, would 'twere perfect day. I would crave a little rest Lady, And for my hurts some Surgery, I am a Gentleman That Fortune of a fight — I feel no hurts, the morning comes too fast now. HOnest Toby? Why did my Aunt send for me? Is my Cousin alive again? What should make thee glad then? The Case is clear, and I would found a Mine, A perfect Indy, since my Aunt cashiered me; What think'sts of this? Thou puttest me in mind, We are to ring anon, I meant to send for thee; Meet me at the old Parish Church. When thy Lady is a bed, we would conspired A midnight peal for joy. And how? and how does my Aunt? I would she could: but hark thee honest Toby, If a man have a Mistress, may we not Without my Ants leave, borrow now and than A coach to tumble in, towards the Exchange, And so forth? She may be thine when we are married. Shat see her. And drink her health. Weel drink fifteen. Hold for thy buttons sake, the knave's transported. Honest Tom, how thrives the felonious world with thee now? Thar't 'ithe right I'll increase it, wipe thine eyes, Here is a chain worth money and some man had it, A foolish Diamond, and other trifles — This? This is nothing to what I possess At home. A house that shall be nameless; The Mistress of it mine too, such a piece For flesh and blood, added to that so loving — I know not, nor I care not; But such a prize, so mounting, so delicious, Thou wilt run mad, I'll tell thee more hereafter. I took no pains to find out all this Paradise, My Destiny threw me upon't ith' dark, I found it Wanting a lodging too. Never, never saw her; But these things happen not in every age, I cannot stay, If thou wilt meet anon At my own randevow, thou knowest the Tavern, Weel sup together, after that, a company Of merry lads have made a match to ring. No other, There is no music to the Bells', we wo'd Have bonfires if we durst, and thou wo'd come It shall cost thee nothing Tom, hang pilfering. And keep me company, in time I may Show thee my Wench too. Weel toss the Bells', and make the steeple Roar boy, but come to supper then. A palpable knock. But which way has he laid? A plain Case. All night long boy. Come lets confirm him straight and win the wager. I am monstrous weary, A very brave peal. Sure it's passed midnight. Room, I sweat still; come, come, my cloak, I shall take cold Here, here, and all our clothes. A cuff? give me the candle. Cuffs won't cover me — I smell a knavery. Now am I as cold again as though 'twere Christmas; Cold with my fear, I'll never ring by the ear more. My all clothes Toby. What miserable fools were we? Prithee Sexton lets have a fire at thy house, A good fire, weel pay thee some way for't, I am stone cold. Sure I would been in a dream, I had no mistress, Nor gold, nor clothes, but am a ringing rascal. I am half a fraid of my self: this poor shift I God oth' Sexton to convey me handsomely To some harbour, the wench will hardly know me; They'le take me for some Watchman oth' parish; I would never a penny left me, thats one comfort; And ringing has begotten a monstrous stomach, And that's another mischief, I were best go home, For every thing will scorn me in this habit. Beside, I am so full of these young bellringers; If I get in adoores, not the power oth' country, Nor all my Ants curses shall disembogue me. Ha found me out; There's no avoiding him, I had rather now Be arraigned at Newgate for a robbery Than answer to his Articles: your will sir, I am in haste. How the rouge worries me. What will become of me? I am the wandering Jew, and please your worship. Bells'. I must be known, as good at first; now, jeer on, But do not anger me too impudently, The Rabbi will be moved then. No more Bells', No more Bells', they ring backwards. It was his trick as sure as I am lousy, But how to be revenged — 'Tis euough I am undone, Marked for a misery, and so leave prating; Give me my bill, Mock no further, Or as I live I'll lay my bill o'thy pate, I'll take a Watchman's fury into my fingers, To would no judgement to distinguish persons And knock thee down. Art thou in earnest, by this cold Iron — Prithee do what thou wilt wo'mee, if thou hast A mind, hang me up quickly. No, no, I thank you Tom, I can watch for A groat a night, and be every gentleman's fellow. Thou hast don't to purpose, give me thy hand Tom; Shall we be friends? thou seest what state I am in, I'll undertake this penance to my Aunt, Just as I am, and openly I'll go; Where, if I be received again for currant, And fortune smile once more — I cannot help it, some men meet with strange destinies. If things go right thou mayest be hanged, and I May live to see't, and purchase thy apparel: So farewell Tom, commend me to thy Polecat. Hallow your throats a pieces, I am at home; If you can roar me out again — Do, and I'll wonder too, to see this company At peace one with another; 'tis not worth Your admiration, I was never dead yet; Ye're merry Aunt, I see, and all your company: If ye be not, I'll fool up, and provoke ye; I will do any thing to get your love again: I'll forswear midnight Taverns and remptations; Give good example to your Grooms, the maids Shall go to bed and take their rest this year; None shall appear with blisters in their bellies. Madam, have mercy. Make, make room afore there. Thy old opinion still. What's this to thee? Thou canst not mend it, if thou be'st determined To roball Like a tyrant, yet take heed A keener justice do not overtake thee, And catch you in a Nooze. For beauty I, a safe course, No halter hangs in my way, I defy it. Take you no care for that Sir, 'tis my pleasure, I will employ my wits a great deal faster Then you shall do your fingers, and my Loves, If I mistake not, shall prove riper harvest And handsomer, and come within less danger. Where's thy young sister? Leave her to her wants? Thou wilt not rob thy Sister. A pretty Girl, did not old Algripe love her, A very pretty Girl she was. Then where's thy Mistress? Sure she is handsome. Yowl come tooth marriage. Now, now, they are come from Church now. Very glorious, and glorious people there. You may do good Tom at the marriage, We have Plate and dainty things. You are welcome noble friends. Very scurvely, And as untowardly she prepares herself, But 'tis mine Ants will, that this dull mettle Must be mixed with her to allay her handsomeness. His means are little, And where those littles are, as little comforts Ever keep company: I know she loves him, His memory beyond the Hope's of — Beyond the Indies in his mouldy Cabinets, But 'tis her unhandsome fate. Look up man, A proper sensible fellow and shrink for a Wench, Are there no more? or is she all the hansomnesse? Prithee leave thou whining, Have maids forgotten to love? Let they alone a while, thei'le follow thee. Think how to neck him home, thou knowest she dotes on thee; Graft me a dainty meddler on his crabstocke; Pay me the dreaming puppy. I am her kinsman, And love her well, am tender of her youth, Yet honest Frank, before I would have that stinkard, That walking rotten tomb, enjoy her maidenhead. Prithee Frank believe me, Go to consider, hark, they knock to dinner, Come wilt thou go? We'll look for you, Do not despair, I have a trick yet. You must compel him Madam. It will be fittest. Do as thou wot, but if thou dost refuse it Thou art the stupidest ass, there's no long arguing, Time is too precious Frank. Does she not love thee? Did she not cry down right eene now to partly with thee? Had she not swooned if I had not caught her? Canst thou have more? Do not stand prating, and misdoubting, casting, If she go from thee now, she's lost for ever; Now now she's going, she that loves thee going, She whom thou lov st. Let me alone, hast thou a will? speak soundly, Speak discreetly, speak home and handsomely, Is't not pity, nay misery, nay infamy to leave So rare a pie to be cut up by a rascal. Come then follow me And pluck a men heart up, I'll lock thee privately Where she alone shall presently pass by, None near to interupt thee but be sure; Go you afore, and let the Ladies follow, And leave her to her thoughts a while, there must be A time of taking leave of the same fooleries Bewailing others maidenheads. And I'll tell you what I dreamed Nay let him go, For if my dream be true, he must be speedy, He will be tricked, and blazed else. Prithee honest Nurse do not fret too much For fear I dream yowl hang your self too. Such was my fancy, I do not say 'tis true, Nor do Ibid you be too confident. I dreamed she had they to lock her self in. No harm good Nurse be patient What foolish dreams are these? I hope so. If you be not mad, I'll do my best to make ye. Whose that? Hold, hold I am no fury. The Merchant's wife. I am. Why do you stare. I'll warrant you, I'll hold ye, Hold you as tenderly; I have put the light out, Retire into my Chamber, there I'll watch we ye, I'll keep you from all frights. Keep you as secure Lady. No, no, I'll love you, then the devil will fear us. For he fears all that love, pray come in quickly, For this is the malicious house he walks in, The hour he blasts sweet faces, lame the limbs in, Depraves the senses, now within this half hour He will have pour to turn all Citizens wives Into strange creatures, Owls, and long-taild Monkeys Jays, Pies, and Parrots, quickly, I smell his brimstone. Sure this whole night is nothing but illusion, Here's nothing comes, all they are mad, dammed devil To drive her back again, it had been thy policy To have let us alone, we might have done some fine thing To have made thy hell-hood laugh, 'tis a dainty wench If I had her again, not all your fellow goblins Nor all their claws should scratch her hence, I'll stay still, May be her fright will bring her back again, Yet I will hope. It comes again sure I see the shadow, I'll have faster hold now, Sure she is mad, I long to lie with a madwoman, She must needs have rare new tricks. She named a bed, I Like that, she repents sure, Where is she now. Are you there, In, In, In presently. Let me kiss thee first, quick, quick. What a hairy whore 'tis, sure she has a muffler. 'Tis but my sancie, she is the same, in quickly, gently my Sweet girl. Why Aunt, what have I done? It is but melancholy walking thus; The Tavern doors are barricadoed too, Where I might drink till morn, in expectation; I cannot meet the Watch neither; nothing in The likeness of a Constable, whom I might In my distress abuse, and so be carried, For want of other lodging to the Counter. A sweet young wench, beshrew my heart a fair one; Fortune has made me some recompense. I am betrayed to one that will eternally laugh at me, Three of these rouges will Jeer a horse to death. What thousand noises pass through all the rooms? What cries and hurries? sure the Devils drunk. And tumbles through the house, my villainies That never made me apprehend before Danger or fear, a little now molest me; My Cosens death sits heavy o'my conscience, Would I had been half hanged when I hammered it. I aimed at a living divorce, not a burial That Frank might have had some hope: hark still In every room confusion, they are all mad, Most certain all stark mad within the house A punishment inflicted for my lewdness, That I might have the more sense of my mischief And run the more mad too, my Aunt is hanged sure, Sure hanged her self, or else the fiend has fetched her; I herd a hundred cries, the Devil, the Devil, Then roaring and then tumbling, all the chambers Are a mere babel, or another bedlam. What should I think? I shake my self too: Can the Devil find no time, but when we are merry, Here's something comes. What wind brought thee hither? In what old hollow tree, or rotten wall Hast thou been Like a Swallow all this Winter, Where hast thou been man? What Blow? Thou hast no Land, Stealing's thy own purchase. Not in my opinion, Thou hadst five hundred pound a year. Cheated by the ear; a plot to put out the candle; I could be mad; my chain, my rings, the gold, the gold. 'Tis almost midnight.