LURCHER

Following the Blow. The best inheritance. 'Tis gone, Prithee no more on't, have I not told thee, And oftentimes, nature made all men equal, Her distribution to each child alike; Till labour came and thrust a new Will in, Which I allow not: till men won a privilege By that they call endeavour, which indeed Is nothing but a lawful Cozenage, And allowed wayto cheat, why should my neighbour That hath no more soul then his Horsekeeper, Nor bounteous faculties above a Broom man, Have forty thousand pound, and I four groats; Why should he keep it? Why should that Scrivener That never writ reason in his life, nor any thing That time ever gloried in, that never knew How to keep any courtesy concealed But Noverint universt must proclaim it, Purchase perpetually, and I a rascal: Consider this, why should that mouldy Cobbler Marry his daughter to a wealthy Merchant, And give five thousand pound, is this good justice? Because he has a tougher constitution; Can feed upon old songs, and save his money, Therefore must I go beg? I am no Woodcock, He that shall fit down frighted with that foolery Is not worth pity, let me alone to shuffle; Thou art for wenching. But a worse fate, a wilful poverty, For where thou gainst by one that indeed loves thee, A thousand will draw from thee, 'tis thy destiny; One is a kind of weeping cross Jack, A gentle purgatory, do not fling at all, You'll pay the Box so often, till thou perish. I know not where she is, she is not worth caring for, She has no wit. O you'd be nibbling with her, She's far enough I hope, I know not where, She's not worth caring for, a sullenthing She wood not take my counsel Jack, And so I parted from her. I gave her a little money what I could spare, She had a mind tooth country, she is turned By this some Farriers dairy maid, I may meet her Riding from market one day betwixt her Dorsers; If I do, by this hand I wonnot spare Her butter pence. She shall account me for her Eggs and Cheeses. Some such thing, But he was too wise to fasten; let her pass. Where you shannot find her, Nor know what stuff she is made on, no indeed Sir, I chosen her not for your use. Yes indeed is she, she is very handsome, but that's all one Is it to day. Any great preparation, Does Justice Algripe show his power. I may meet with him yet ere I die as cunning as he is. Do you no harm Sir, For yet me thinks the marriage should be marred If thou mayest have thy will, farewell, say nothing. Here are my trinkets, and this lusty marriage I mean to visit, I have shift of all sorts, And here are thousand wheels to set they working, I am very merry, for I know this wedding Will yield me lusty pillage, if mad Wildgoose That deboshd rogue keep but his ancient revels And breed a hubbub in the house I am happy. Now what are you? A pretty Boy, but of too mild a breeding, Too tender and too bashful a behaviour, What canst thou do? He blushes as he speaks, and that I Like not, I love a bold and secure confidence, And impudence that one may trust, this boy now Had I instructed him had been a Jewel, A treasure for my use, thou canst not lie. Nor thou hast no wit To dissemble neatly. O mainly, mainly, I would have my boy impudent, Outface all truth, yet do it piously: Like Proteus, cast himself into all forms, As sudden and as nimble as his thoughts, Blench at no danger, though it be the Gallows, Nor make no conscience of a cosonage Though it be ith Church; your soft, demure, still children — Are good for nothing, but to get long graces — And sing songs to dull tunes; I would keep thee And cherish thee, hadst thou any active quality, And be a tender master to thy knavery, But thou art not for my use. Yes indeed do I. Now thou movest me. By any means. I speak this to make thee. That I am glad on, Right heartily glad on, hold thee there, thou art excellent. Not from thy Master. The Boy mends mightily. Excellent boy, and able to instruct me, Of my own nature just. Peace, I would found a Jewel, A Jewel all the Indies cannot match, And thou shat feel — I'll learn of thee, thou art my own, come Boy I'll give thee Actium presently. What must I call thee 'Tis most natural A name born to thee, sure thou art a Fairy, Show but thy skill, and I shall make thee happy. What hast thou done? What hast thou seen? Where's all the plate? TO was a good notice, didst thou see the men. 'Tis daintily discovered, we shall certainly Have a most prosperous night, which way. I love thy diligence, Wertenberg thou not fearful. Say they had spied thee. My dainty Boy, let us discharge, that plate Makes a perpetual motion in my fingers Till I have fast hold of it. Still my blessed Boy. Come open, heres a devils face. A winding sheet then. Here, here. Off, off, and up again, when we are near the Parlour, Art sure thou knowest the Chest? On then and be happy. No light? There was two of they Or I mistake. Come Boy. Come happy child and let me hug thy excellence. Where my love Boy. I am cruel weary. The fear too At every stumble to be discovered boy, At every cough to raise a Constable, Well, we'll be merry now. Shat have any thing. Thou shat have horses six, and a postilion. I shake, I shake Boy, what a cold sweat — 'Tis Maria, the very same, the Bride, new horror! What light is that Boy, we shall be discovered; Set the Coffin up and end, and get behind me, There's no avoiding. 'Tis he? A way. She groans, would. Again, she stirs. And you be good at that, bury your self, Or let the Sexton take you for his fee, Away boy. Buy a Book of good manners, A short book of good manners. A new book of women. A new book of fools, a strange book, Very strange fools. A book of walking spirits. A book of wicked women. Of rude malicious women, of proud women, Of scolding women, we shall never get in. A little, very little book Of good and godly women, a very little one, So little, you may put it in a nutshell. A book of evil Magistrates. And their eviller wives, That we are their places in their petticoats. Another book of women, of mad women, Women that were born in March. Jack Wildbraine? You look and talk as you were much exalted. Prithee release my wonder. The very same, o Gipsy! Infidel! All that I sweat, and ventured me neck for, He has God already; who would trust a strumpet. What home? Is, she married? Nay, prithee a word more. No old acquaintance? You keep your exercise, i'the old Church? I cannot promise; but you will be there? My hand, and expect me: Yes I will come or send, and to some purpose; Art come boy? Excellent, Knave, how didst thou purchase these? So, so, help boy, 'tis very well, do I not look Like one that breaks the Kings peace with authority? You know your charge, prepare things handsomely, My diligent boy, and leave me to my office. Now Fortune prove no slut, and I'll adore thee. Within. Sir. Whose there? A friend wo'd speak with Master Justice. I am the Constable. How? Not at leisure to do the king service; Take heed what you say sir; I know his worship, If he knew my business, would no excuse. What should I do with books does it become A man of my place to understand such matters? Pray call your Master, if he please to follow me, I shall discover to him such a plot, Shall get him everlasting fame, I'll be hanged for't And he be not knighted instantly, and for reward Have some of the malefactors lands I'll bring him too; But I cannot dally time. Please your worship, come down, I'll make you happy; The notablest piece of villainy I have in hand sir, And you shall find it out; I would made choice To bring your worship to the first knowledge, and Thank me, as you find the good on't afterwards. 'Tis little better, I can tell you, I have lodged A crew of the most rank and desperate villains: They talk of robberies, and ways they did they; And how they left men bound in their studies. That sir? that, and murders, And thousand knaveries more, tha're very rich sir, In money, jewels, chains,, and a hundred more Devices. Not a man I beseech you, I have privately appointed strength about me, They cannot start, your men would breed suspicion; All my desire is you would come alone; That you might have the hope of the enterprise, That you might hear e'm first, and then proceed sir, 'Tis very well. So, so, and please your worship I'll direct you. Prospered? my little ingineere; away, He is ith' next room, be not you seen sirrah. Come softly, yet sir softly, are you not weary? This is, sir, their den Where they suppose themselves secure, I am saint, With making hast; but I must be thus troubled, And therefore never go without a cordial; Without this I should die; How it refreshes me Already? wilt please your worship? I might have had The manners to halet you drink before me; Now am I lusty. Taste? how dee find the virtue, nay sir spare it not: My wife has the receipt, dos it not stir Your worships body? when you come to examine, till make you speak Like Thunder. It works already. Let me alone, when I but give the watch word We will have men enough to surprise and army. They do not dream of us, 'tis early rising; Care, care, and early rising, common wealths men Are ever Subject's to the nods; fit down sir, A short nap is not much amiss; so, so, he's fast; Fast as a fish ith' net, he has winking powder Shall work upon him to our wish, remove him, Nay, we may cut him into collops now And he n're feel; have you prepared the vault sirrah? When we would placed him, you and I boy Must about another project hard by, his potion Will bind him sure enough till we return, This villainy weighs mainly, but wele purge ye. Dost here they, hark, these be the Ringers? Or my directions fail; The coast is clear: How the Bells' go? how daintily they tumble? And me thinks they seem to say; Fine fools I'll fit you. Who's that? So so, follow they; They shall have a cool reward, one hath gold of mine, Good store in's pocket, But this will be revenged in a short warning. They are at it Justly; hay, how wantonly They ring away their clothes, how it delights me; Hast Wildbraines? Away Boy, quickly now to the Usurer, His hour to wake approaches. So, so, presently his sleep will leave him. And wonder seize upon him, Bid they within be ready. So, so, He gapes already, now he's fast; Thou hast acted rarely; but this is not all; First, help to convey him out o'th vault. We will make shift without thee, tha'st done well, By our device this bandoge may escape hell. I Must applaud thy diligence. 'Twas excellent. What said his servants then? Enough, enough. Whose this? 'Tis one of my ringers; stand close, my Ladies Coachman. How the Rascal shakes? You with a mat? He's deaf. How the Rascal sweats? What a pickle he's in? Every street he goes through will be a new torment, He has punishment enough. Who's this, my tother youth? he is turned Bear. Bid her come hither presently, — hum, 'tis he. 'Tis Mr. Wildbraine sure, and yet me thinks His fashion's strangely altered; sirrah watchman, You rugamuffin, turn you lousy bears skin: You with the bedrid bill. Nay then I will make bold wo'yee; A Watchman and ashamed to show his countenance, His face of authority; I have seen that physiognomy; Were you never in prison for pilfering? Why may not this Be the villain rob worser my house last night, And walks disguised in this malignant rug, Armed with a tun of Iron, I will have you Before a Magistrate. What art thou? speak. By your leave Rabbi, I will show you then A Synagogue, iclip't Bridewell, where you Under correction may rest your self; You have brought a bill to guard you, there be dog whips To firk such rugged curs, whips without Bells' Indeed. How he sweets? You need not ask your Tailors, Unless you had better linings; it may be To avoid suspicion you are going thus Disguised to your fair Mistress. Whats the matter? didst ever see her of re Jack? Never despair, I'll give thee my share rather, Take her, I hope she loves thee at first sighed, She has Petticoats will patch thee up a suit; I resign all, only I'll keep these trifles, I took some pains for they, I take it Jack; What think you pink of beauty, come let me counsel you both to marry, she has a trade, If you have audacity to hook in Gamesters: Let's would a wedding, you will be wondrous rich; For she is impudent, and thou art miserable; It'll be a rare match. You won't to these gear of marriage then? Rise, and be good, keep home and tend your business. Nay, nay, I me satisfied, so farewell honest lousy Jack. Do you know me sir? My name is Lurcher. I would that already, no matter for the deed If you release it. I hope she lives, but where, I cannot tell sir. And I too, And bless the time I had so wise a sister, were't thou the little thief? Lady, your love, I would kept my word; there was A time, when my much sufferings made me hate you, And to that end I did my best to cross you: And fearing you were dead I stole your Coffin, That you might never more usurp my office: Many more knacks I did, which at the Weddings Shall be told of as harmless tales. A continent of fleas: room for the Pageant; Make room asore there; your kinsman Madam. And when you will fool again, you may go ring. I'll be his Physician. Ere the Priest would done Toby shall wait upon you with his Coach, And make your Flanders Mares dance back again we'yee, I warrant you Madam you are mortified, Your suit shall be granted too. 'Tis very well, I Like thy care, but 'tis strange A wedding night should be so solitary. Are they all a bed? Was this the Chest? Most learned child. In the next room, hard by. All, all, and Jewels, I am monstrous weary, Prithee lets go to bed. To morrows a new sweet. Thou sayest right. Nay weel be in fashion, he shall ride before us In winter, with as much dirt would damp a musket, The inside of our coach shall be of scarlet. There is a die projecting Will make it cheap wench, come thou shalt have any thing. How, a Coffin? Boy, 'Tis very Like one. It may be there is no room. Be not so hasty fool, that may undo us; We may be in for murder so; be patient, Thou seest she's dead, and cannot injure thee. What and unlucky thief am I? Hold. Would it there again. But where o'th sudden, or with what providence, That no eyes watch us. It must be so, How heavy my heart is, I would no life left. The happy Chest. Well passion won't help us, Had I twenty falls for this? So, so, they're gone, 'twas my ingenious rascal: But how dost know he made vows to another? We would so cozened the old forty i'th hundred, And the devil hinder him not, he'll go a pilgrimage; But come, about our business, set her down again. How? Jacks Wildebraim What time oth' Moon man, would? what strange Bells' Hast in thy brains. Why, where's the Wench, the blessing that befell thee? The unexpected happiness? where's that Jack? Where are thy golden days? Fie, fie, Jack, Marry a Watchman's widow in thy young days, With a revenue of old Iron, and a rug, Is this the Paragon, the dainty Piece, The delicate divine Rogue? Come, I would done, and now Will speak some comfort to thee, I will lead thee Now to my Mistress hither to concealed; She shall take pity on thee too, she loves A handsome man; thy misery invites me To do thee good, I'll not be jealous Jack; Her beauty shall commend it self; but do not When I have brought you into grace supplant me. No oaths, I am not costive; here she comes: Sweet heart, I have brought a gentleman, A friend of mine to be acquainted with you, He's other than he seems; why d'ee stare thus? I know not, But if your worshipful be not at leisure To do him self a benefit, I am gone sir, And infinite benefit, and the State shall thank him for; Thank him, and think on him too; I am and Officer, And know my place, but I do love the Justice; I honour any authority above me: Beside, he is my neighbour, and I worship him. Jack.