ALGRIPE

Do not tarry For if thou dost, by my troth I shall fallen asleep Mall. Give me a Torch. Where are the keys, the keys I say. I am mad. Come gentlemen, come quickly I beseech you, Quick as you can, this may be your case Gentlemen. And bring some lights, some lights. Down with the door. Now Enter. Enter sweet Gentlemen, mine eyes, mine eyes, O how my head akes. My brains, my brains, my monstrous brains, they bud sure. A handsome riddance of her. Would I could as easily loose her memory. No not a penny, pay me back my credit And I'll condition weye. I am mad, farewell, Another wanton wife will prove a hell. Mischance, sayest? No it happiness to me, There's so much charge saved, I have her portion, I'll marry twenty more on such conditions. Not much, I thank my conscience; I was tormented till that happened, furies Were in my brain to think my self a Cuekold At that time of the night: When I come home, I charge you shut my doors, Locks, bolts, and bars, are little enough to secure me, Fool to ask that question; To keep out women, I expect her mother Will visit me with her clamours, o I hate Their noise, and do abhor the whole sex heartlly; They are all walking Devils, Harpies, I will study A week together how to rail sufficiently, Upon e'm all, and that I may be furnished, Thou shat buy all the railing Books and Ballads, That Malice hath invented against women, I will read nothing else, and practice they, Till I grow fat with curses. Why dost make a stand? Where, where, dost see any thing? We are hard by the Churchyard, and I was never Valiant at midnight in such irksome places; They say Ghosts walk sometime, hark, de'e hear nothing? We are almost at home now, thou must go forward; Perhaps 'twas my imagination. Cursed Ghost; bless me, preserve me, I do command thee what so ere thou art, I do conjure thee leave me; do not fright me; If thou be'st a devil vex me not so soon, If thou be'st The spirit of my wife. I shall be tormented. Thank you deer wife, I'll bestow twenty nobles of a Tomb for thee, Thou shalt not walk and catch cold after death. Who's that? raps so saucily? Some new fortifications, look to my doors, Put double bars, I will not have her enter, Nor any of her Tribe, they come to terrify me? Keep out her tongue too if you can. I defy you both; Thy daughter played the villain and betrayed me. Betrayed my honour. Where I'll keep it safely. More of the kennel? put more bolts to'th doors there, And arm your selves, hell is broke lose upon us. Call the Constable. Give me my Musket. Their voices make my house reel, o for Officers, I am in a dream, thy daughters spirit Walks a nights, and troubles all the neighbours; Go hire a conjurer, I'll say no more. The thunders laid, how they stare at him. I'll owe thee a good turn what ever thou art. That I Like not. Thats well thought on. Open the door, and let him in, I love him. Dee you hear that Lady. Farewell Madam, as you Like this come visit me again, You and your Triple strings, now scold your hearts out — I will never study books more; I am undone, these villains have undone me, Rifled my Desk, they have undone me learnedly; A fire take all their books, I'll burn my Study: Where were you rascals when the villains bound me, You could not hear. They ransacked all before my face, and threatened To kill me, if I coughed, they have a chain, My rings, my box of casting gold, my purse too, They robbed me miserably; but that which most grieves me, They took away some writings; 'twas a Rogue That knew me, and set on by the old Lady, I will indite her for't. Run, run, cursed rascals, I am out of my wits, let not a creature in, No not with necessaries. I'll never pray again, isle have my doors Made, up nothing but walls, and thick ones too; No found shall tempt me again, remember I Have forswoare books. I will forswear all oaths, rather than see A thing but in the likeness of a book: And I were condemned, I'll rather choose to hang, Than read again; come in, and search all places, They may be about the house, were the doors locked? Never was man so miserably undone, I would loose a limb to see their rogueships totter. Who's that? What is it? Treason? With books and ballads? Happy, happy Constable, I meet ye At the back door, get ready knaves. I come, I come. Keep all my doors fast, 'tis something late. Tha'st brought me into a melancholy place, I see no creature. Thas a good taste. Hoy he. Is there never a chair, I was wearier than I thought, But who shall we have to take they, Mr. Constable? I begin to be sleepy; what, hast a chair? What sound's this? What horrid din? what dismal place is this? I never saw before, and now behold it; But by the half light of a lamp, that burns here: My spirits shake, tremble through my body; Help, help, Mercy, protect me, my soul quakes, What dreadful apparitions! how I shudder! What are you? Am I not alive still? O, o. Gently, gentle devils, do not force me To kill my self, nor do not you do't for me; O let me live, I'll make amends for all. O misery of Misery's! This must be and Angel, How at his presence the fiends crawl away! Here is some light of mercy. Name any thing within my power, sweet Angel; And if I do not faithfully perform it, Then whip me every day, burn me each minute, Whole years together, let me freeze to Isicles. Young Lurcher, I do confess. I do well remember it. I know it, and will henceforth Practice repentance, do not frown sweet Angel; I will restore all mortgages, forswear Abominable Usury, live chaste; For I have been wanton in my shroud, my age; And if that poor innocent maid, I so abused Be living, I will marry her, and spend My days to come religiously. Nay prithee Duck go instantly, I'll dance a Jig or two to warm my body. Be sure you hold him fast, weel bind him over To the next Sessions, and if I can I'll hang him. They come near us. Where? hold up the Torch Knave. Where's that groan? I begin to be afraid. I know it. This was a precious thief, A subtle trick to keep my servants safe. I'll buy my meat at window, as they pass by; I wonot trust my Scrivenor, he has books too; And bred I'll would flung up; I charge ye all Burn all the books I that house. O, o o. Be my good Angel, here I promise thee, To become honest, and renounce all villainy; Enjoin me any penance, isle built Churches; A whole city of Hospitals. But she's dead, And I will make true satisfaction. Here good Lady, Upon my knees I ask thy worships pardon; Heres the whole sum I had with thy fair daughter; Would she were living, I might have her peace too, And yield her up again to her old liberty: I had a wife before, and could not marry; My penance shall be on that man that honoured her To confer some land. 'Tis truth. Would, the gentleman I deceived. 'Shat have thy mortgage. I'll do't before thy witness; But where's thy sister? if she live I am happy, though I conceal our contract, which was Stolen from me with the evidence of this land. How? Welcome entirely, welcome my deer Alathe, And when I loose the again, blessing forsake me: Nay, let me kiss thee in these clothes. Maria alive I how my hearts exalted, 'tis my duty; Take her Frank Hartlove, take her; and all joys With her; beside some land to advance her Jointure. A day of wonder. She's not in her Chamber. The Cloister? I prithee sweet heart Consider my necessity, why art sad? I must tell you a tale in your ear anon.