BRISAC

What have we here? Pothookes and Andirons! And in Greek you can Lie with your smug wife Lily. Take in the knave, And let him eat. And drink too, Sir, And see your Master's Chamber ready for him. Good Monsieur Lewis I esteem my self Much honoured in your clear intent, to join Our ancient families, and make them one, And it'll take from my age and cares to live And see what you have purposed put in act, Of which your visit at this present is A hopeful Omen; I each minute expecting Arrival of my Sons; I have not wronged Their Birth for want of means and education, To shape them to that course each was addicted; And therefore that we may proceed discreetly, Since what's concluded rashly seldom prospers, You first shall take a strict perusal of them, And then from your allowance, your fair daughter May fashion her affection. You may my Lord securely, Since fame aloud proclaims her perfections, Commanding all men's tongues to sing her praises; Should I say more, you well might censure me (What yet I never was) a Flatterer. What trampling's that without of Horses? Sir my young Master's are newly alighted. Sir now observe their several dispositions. Bid my Subsiser carry my Hackney to the Buttery, And give him his beaver; it is a civil And sober beast, and will drink moderately, And that done, turn him into the quadrangle. He cannot out of his University tone. Lackey, take care our Coursers be well rubbed, And clothed, they have outstripped the wind in speed. Rise Charles, thou hast it. Courtly begged. My blessing! take it. I pray you make deserving use on't first: Eustace give entertainment to your friends, What's in my house is theirs. Fie, fie, Charles, No hour of interruption? Come lay them by; Let them agree at leisure. In our Can e To manage worldly business, you must partly with This bookish contemplation, and prepare Your self for Actium; to thrive in this age, Is held the palm of learning; you must study To know what partly of my land's good for the plough, And what for pasture, how to buy and fell To the best advantage, how to cure my Oxen When they're oregrowne with labour. And grow rich In your imagination, heyday, heyday, Georgics, and Bucolics, and Bees! Art mad? But can you find among your bundle of books, (And put in all your Dictionaries that speak all tongues) What pleasures they enjoy, that do embrace A well shaped wealthy Bride? Answer me that. You resolve then Near to make payment of the debt your owe me. A debt I paid my father When I begat thee, and made him a Grandsire, Which I expect from you. Very well, And I shall have a general collection Of all the quiddits from Adam to this time To be my grandchild. Nor will you Take care of my estate. Was ever man that had reason thus transported From all sense and feeling of his proper good? It vexes me, and if I found not comfort In my young Eustace, I might well conclude My name were at a perjod! Eustace. Your ear in private. He speaks well, And I believe him. What's that my Lord? Come, that shall breed no difference, you see Charles has given over the World; He undertake, And with much ease, to buy his birthright of him For a dry-fat of new books; nor shall my state Alone make way for him, but my elder brother's, Who being issueless, to advance our name, I doubt not will add his; Your resolution? You see Eustace, How I travail to possess you of a fortune You were not born to, be you worthy of it, I'll furnish you for a Suitor; visit her And prosper in't. Pray Sir be not moved, I meddle with no business but mine own, And in mine own it's reason I should govern. We'll partly they, if you please. You go too fast. You forget your self, Have you done yet, and have you spoke enough In praise of learning, Sir? But brother do you know what learning is? You are so parlously in love with learning, That I'de be glad to know what you understand, brother, I'm sure you have read all Aristotle. And you do understand'm brother. Yes Sir, this thing must, I will not trust my land to one so sotted, So grown Like a disease unto his study, He that will fling off all occasions And cares, to make him understand what state is, And how to govern it, must by that reason, Be flung himself aside from managing: My younger boy is a fine Gentleman. You are my elder brother. I say no, Unless Charles had a soul to understand it, Can he manage six thousand Crowns a year Out of the metaphysics? or can all His learned Astronomy look to my Vineyards? Can the drunken old Poets make up my Vines? (I know they can drinke'm) or your excellent humanists Fell him the Merchant's for my best advantage? Can History cut my hay, or get my Corn in? And can Geometry vent it in the market? Shall I have my sheep kept with a Jacob's staff now? I wonder you will magnify this mad man, You that are old and should understand. As a cold nipping shadow Does over the ears of Corn, and leave they blasted, Put up your anger, what I'll do I'll do. I will. Well take your pleasure, here's one I must talk with. Fair to you Sir. With all my heart, I was waiting on your goodness. They shall be ready Sir, within these two hours, And Charles set his hand. He shall be ready, And do it willingly. I hope your daughter likes. All all, he's nothing, A bunch of books shall be his patrimony, And more than he can manage too. Let him alone, A wilful man; my state shall serve the turn, Sir. And how does your Daughter? Tomorrow, then is the day. I have don't already, And given sufficient reason to secure me: And so good morrow brother to your patience. You speak Like a fool, a coxcomb, He shall have annual means to buy him books, And find him clothes and meat, what would he more? Trouble him with Land? it's flat against his nature: I love him too, and honour those gifts in him. All, all, he knows how To use it, he's a man bred in the world, to other ith' heavens: my Master's, pray be wary, And serviceable, and Cook see all your sauces Be sharp and poignant in the palate, that they may Commend you, look to your roast and baked meats handsomely, And what new kickshaws and delicate made things— Is the music come? There will be a Masque too, you must see this room clean, And Butler your door open to all good fellows, But have and eye to your plate, for there be Furies: My Lily welcome, you are for the linen, Sort it, and see it ready for the Table, And see the bridebed made, and look the cords be Not cut a sunder by the Gallants too, There be such knacks abroad; hark hither, Lily, To morrow night at twelve a clock, I'll sup with you, Your husband shall be safe, I'll send you meat too, Before I cannot well stip from my company. No answer, Lily? Wait on your Master, for I know he wants you, And keep him in his study, that the noise Do not molest him: I will not fail my Lily — Come in sweet hearts, all to their several duties. Welcome sweet Daughter, welcome noble brother, And you are welcome Sir, with all your writings, Ladies most welcome; What? my angry brother! You must be welcome too, the feast is flat else. You'll stay and dine though? I'll answer you, here's good meat. Pray do, Sir. Yes faith, sweet daughter, He has been thus his whole age to my knowledge, He has made Charles his heir, I know that certainly, Then why should he grudge Eustace any thing? Come shall we go and seal, brother? All things are ready and the Priest is here, When Charles has set his hand unto the Writings. As he shall instantly, then to the Wedding, And so to dinner. Let's be private in't, Sir. He do's well; How dost Charles? still at thy book? Peace you rude Knave—Come hither Charles, be merry, You must put your hand my Charles, as I would have you, Unto a little piece of parchment here, Only your name, you write a reasonable hand. To pass the Land I have, Sir, Unto your younger brother. No, no, it's nothing, you shall be provided for, And new books you shall have still, and new studies, And have your means brought in without the care boy, And one still to attend you. Do I prithee. No thou shalt not stay, Thou shalt have a brave dinner too. And, Now has he Orethrowne himself for ever; I will down Into the Cellar, and be stark drunk for anger. Come hither, Come nearer Charles, 'Twas your desire to see My noble Daughter, and the company, And give your brother joy, and then to seal boy. You do Like a good brother. Come, leave thy study, Charles. I say, you trifle time, son. Come leave your finical talk, and let's dispatch, Charles. Why the land. We had best remove the maid. There was a contract. This is the last time of asking, Will you set your hand too? No, no, meet me no more, Farewell, thou wilt blast mine eyes else. Come let's go take some counsel. Then stay and dine, It may be we shall vex they. Never talk to me, you are no men but Masquers, Shapes, shadows, and the signs of men, Court bubbles, That every breath or breaks or blows away, You have no souls, no metal in your bloods, No heat to stir you when you have occasion, Frozen dull things that must be turned with leavers, Are you the Courtiers and the travailed Gallants? The spritely fellows, that the people talk of? You have no more spirit than three sleepy sops. Follow your bro there, And get you out of doors, and seek your fortune, Stand still becalmed, and let and aged Dotard, A hair-brained puppy, and a bookish boy, That never knew a blade above a penknife, And how to cut his meat in Characters Cross my design, and take thy own Wench from thee, In mine own house too? Thou despised poor fellow! You dare do nothing. Do you make your care the excuse of your cowardliness? Three boys on hobby-horses with three penny halberts, Would beat you all. Yes, And sing it too. I'll make my way And therefore quickly leave me, or I'll force you; And having first torn off your flaunting feathers, I'll trample on they; and if that cannot teach you To quit my house, I'll kick you out of my gates; You gawdy glowworms carrying seeming fire, Yet have no heat within you. Will you find the door? And find it suddenly, you shall led the way, Sir, With your perfumd' retinue, and recover The now lost Angellina, or built on it, I will adopt some beggars doubtful issue, Before thou shalt inherit. Do, or never Hope I shall know thee. I never hid my self, whence flows this fury? With which as it appears, you come to fright me. Nay then, my Lord, you go too far, and tax him Whose innocency understands not what fear is. If your unconstant daughter will not dwell On certainties, must you thenceforth conclude, That I am fickle? What have I omitted, To make good my integrity and truth? Nor can her lightness, nor your supposition Cast and aspersion on me. All the world I think conspires to vex me, yet I will not Torment my self, some spriteful mirth must banish The rage and melancholy which hath almost choked me, to a knowing man 'tis physic, and 'tis thought on, One merry hour I'll have in spite of fortune, To cheer my heart, and this is that appointed, This night I'll hug my Lily in mine arms, Provocatives are sent before to cheer me; We old men need'em, and though we pay deer For our stolen pleasures, so it be done securely: The charge much Like a sharp sauce gives they relish. Well honest Andrew, I gave you a farm, And it shall have a beacon to give warning To my other Tenants when the Foe approaches; And presently, you being bestowed elsewhere, I'll graft it with dexterity on your forehead; Indeed I will Lily, I come, poor Andrew. Do they chase roundly? Well done, well done, give me my nightcap. So, Quick, quick, untruss me; I will truss and trounce thee; Come Wench a kiss between each point; kiss close; It is a sweet Parenthesis. Merry I will be anon, and thou shalt feel it, Thou shalt my Lily No, no, I'll use no warming pan but thine, Girl; That's all; Come kiss me again. No, but I will do, and do wonders, Lily. Show me the way. How, ith' morning Lily? Th'art such a witty thing to draw me on. Leave fooling, Lily, I am hungry now, And th'hast another K ckshaw, I must taste it. Have I not Thy promise Lily? You're a quean, A scoffing jeering quean. Do not provoke me, If thou dost, I'll have my Farm again, and turn Thee out a begging. Whore, thou darest not. Yield or I'll have thee whipped; How my blood boils, As if 'twere over a furnace! Yet gentle Lily, pity and forgive me, I'll be a friend the, such a loving bountiful friend— Nothing but well, Wench, I will put such a strong bit in his mouth As thou shalt ride him how thou wilt, my Lily: Nay, he shall hold the door, as I will work him, And thank thee for the Office. Andrew! And. I come in time to take possession Of office you assign me; hold the door, Alas it's nothing for a simple man To stay without when a deep understanding Holds conference within, say with his wife a A trifle Sir, I know I hold my farm. In Cuckolds Tenure; you are Lord o'the soil Sir, Lily is a West, a Stray, she's yours, to use Sir, I claim no interest in her. Art thou serious? Speak honest Andrew since thou hast over herd us, And wink at small faults, man; I'm but a pidler, A little will serve my turn, thou'lt find enough When I've my belly full; wilt thou be private And silent? Seek not the ruin O'my reputation, Andrew. No mercy, Andrew? Thou shalt keep thy Farm. Oh, I am undone. Do but hear me. Do not play the Tyrant; Accept of composition. I'll confirm thy farm, And add to't and hundred acres more Adjoining to it. Call any witness, I'll presently assure it. Will he be secret? Caught thus? I shall become Discourse for Clowns and Tapsters. Open the doors, will you imprison me? are you my Judges? I'll suffer bravely, do your worst, do, do. Nor will I rail nor curse, You slave, you whore, I will not meddle with you, But all the torment that ere fell on men, That fed on mischief, fallen heavily on you all. I use none, Nor doubt I, though a while my innocence suffers, But when the King shall understand how falsely Your malice hath informed him, he in justice Must set me right again. This is madness. I embrace their loves. What Sir? Miramont. Out of my doors. I'm tender to you.