SUBTLE

But they have not passed you, they lie forzen in your face. O most sweet friend the World's so vicious, That had I with such familiarity Frequented you since you were married, Possessed and used your Fortune's as before, As in Like manner you commanded mine, The depraved thoughts of men would have proclaimed Some scandalous rumours from this love of ours, As saying, mine reflected on your Lady, And what a wound had that been to our souls? When only friendship should have been the ground To hurt her Honour, and your confident peace, Spite of mine own approved integrity. Why sweet friend, That you are happy in her, she is fair, Witty and virtuous, and was rich to you, Can there be and addition to a wife? Do not wrong So air a wife (friend) and so virtuous, Whose good name is a theme unto the World, Make not a wound with searching where was none, Misfortune still such projects does pursue, He makes a false wife, that suspects a true; Yet since you so importune, give me leave To ruminate a while, and I will straight Follow and give you and answer. Assure your self deer—Coxcomb, I will do't Or strangely be denied, all's as I wished, This was my aim, although I have seemed strange. I know this fellow now to be and Ass; A most unworthy husband though in view He bear himself thus fair, she knows this too, Therefore the stronger are my Hope's to gain her: And my deer friend that will have your wife trid'e, I'll try her first, then thrust her if I can, And as you said most wisely I hoped to be Both Touchstone to your wise and Lapidary. How will you pass the time, now fairest Mistress. Indeed some wives Are Like dead bodies in their Husbands absence. Push, he's and Ass, I know him, a stark Ass. Of a most barbarous condition, Falsehearted to his friend, rough unto you, A most dissembling and perfidious fellow, I care not if he herd me, this I know, And will make good upon him with my sword Or any for him, for he will not fight. His merit is a halter by this light, You think he's out of Town now, no such matter But gone aside, and hath importuned me To to j your chastity. If I do feign in ought, never may I purchase The grace I hope for, and fair Ministers If you have any spirit or wit, or sense, You will be even with such a wretched slave, Heaven knows I love you, as the air I draw, Think but how finely you may cuckold him, And safely too, with me, who will report To him, that you are most invincible, Your Chastity not to be subdued by man. A whore, fie, no, That you have been kind, or so, your whore does live In Pict-hatch, Turnebole-streete. She's a rare wife believe it Sir, were all such, We never should have false inheritors. But still I tell you, you must use her roughly, Bea e her face black and blue, take all her cloth's And give them to some Punk, this will be ground For me to work upon. Would, would, would. Fair worser, still wilt thou be true To a man so false to thee? Did be le worser a Husbands endue, Thou didst owe him loyalti ; But will curses, wants and blows Breed no change in thy white soul Be not a fool to thy first vow S, Since his breach, does thy faith control, No be utie else, could be so chased, Think not thou honourest women then, Since by thy continued science, all disgra it, Are robbed of the deer loves of men; Then grant me my desire that vow to prove A real husband, his adul erate love. Took ever man more pains to be a Cuckold? O! monstrous age where men themselves we see, Study and pay for their own infamy. Rise Lady Mistress, rise: The night hath tedious been, No sleep hath fallen into my eyes, Nor slumbers made me sin. Is not she a Saint then say, Thought of whom keeps sin away? Rise Madame, rise and give me light, Whom darkness still will cover. And ignorance darker than night, Till thou smile on thy lover; All want day thy beauty rise, For the grate morn breaks from thine eyes. Now sing it sirrah. 'Sfoot, who's this? young Master Bold? God save you, you are and early stirrer. Where have you been Sir? Very good: I near took you for a man Midwife before. She is not to be cast. Why tell me truly, would it please you best, To have her remain chased, or conquered. Why then in plain terms Sir, the fort is mine, Your wife has yielded, vp-tailes is her song, The deed is done, come, now, be merry man. Why, by my troth i'll tell you, because you are my friend, otherwise you must note it is a great hurt to the art of whooremasterie to discover, beside the skill was never mine o'th price. At the first she was horrible stiff against me, then Sir I took her by the hand, which I kissed. And I called her pretty Rogue, and I thrust my fin her betwixt her breasts, and I made lips; at last, I pulled her by the chin to me, and I kissed her. So at the first, she kissed very strangely, close, & un towards; then said I to her, think b to upon the wrongs, the intolerable wrongs, the rogue your Husband does you. Nay, I went on. First quoth I, think how he hath us worser you, left you no means, given all your clothes to his Punks, struck you, turned your grey eyes into black ones, but yet— Quoth I, these things are nothing in the Rascoll, think but what a base Whoremaster, the Rascoll is. Yes, and oftener, for said I, none comes amiss to the rogue, I have known him quoth I, do three lousy beg gars under hedges in the riding of ten mile, and I swore this to. He has fetched her again with coughing. And when the Parson came to her, she turned away, And still let the Physician hold her by the hand. I'll not meddle with you Sir. T'is done, deer friend, I have made you stay too long I fear you'll be benighted. Pish, one must lie a little, now sir by this time she began to kiss some what more openly, and familiarly, her resistance began to slacken, and my assault began to stiffen, the more her Bulwark decayed, the more my battery forti fied, at last sir, a little fumbling being passed to make the Con quest more difficult, she perceiving my readiness mounted, falls me flat upon her back, cries me out aloud Ahlas I yield, use me not roughly friend, My fort, that Like Troy town, ten years hath stood Besieged and shot at did remain unwon: But now 'tis conquered. So the deed was done Nay Caetera, quis nes to, lassi requienimus ambo Proueniant medii sic mihi sape die. Heyday, ene now, it was impossible she should hold out, and now it is impossible she should yield, stay you but here & be and ear witness to what follows, I'll fetch your wife. I know he will not stay. I knew he would not ay. Now noble Mistress, I claim your promise. That you would lie with me. Pox a this virtue and this chastetie, Do you know fair Mistress, a young Gentleman About this town called Bold, where did he lie Last night, sweet Mistress, o o, are you catched, I saw him slip out of the house this morn, As naked as this truth, and for this cause I have told your Husband that you yielded to me, And he I warrant you, will blaze it thoroughly, As good do now then as be thought to do. 'Tis palpable by this air, her husband and being abroad, Bold has lain with her, and is now con ed out of doors. Is this the Lady Perfect with a pox? The truth is, her for tuous chastity, began to make me make a miracle of her, still holding out to me, notwithstanding her husbands most barbarous usage of her, but now indeed t'is no marvel since another possesses her. Well Madame, I'll go find out your Cuckold, isle be revenged on you and tell a tale Shall tickle him, this is a cheat in love, Not to be born, another to beguile Me of the game, I played for all this while. But how my Lord came you first not to the sighed of steel. Zoons, I have wronged you Mistress. On my knees I ask you pardon, and will never more, Attempt your purity, but neglect all things Till that soul wrong I have bred in your Knight I have expelled, and let your loves aright.