LOVEALL

Nay my virtuous wife, Had it been but acquaintance, this his absence Had not appeared so uncouth, but we two Were Schoolfellows together, born and nursed, Brought up, and lived since Like the Gemins, Had but one suck, the Tavern or the Ordinary. Ere I was married, that saw one of us Without the other, said we walked by halves, Where deer, deer friend have you been all this while? Wife, kiss him, bid him welcome poxo'th World, Come, come you shall not partly from me in hast, I do command thee use this Gentleman In all things Like my self, if I should die I would be queath him in my will to thee. Will you look in? We'll follow you. Now friend What think you of this Lady? Yes, constancy, for t'is not chastity That lives remote from all attempers free, But there, ti's strong and pure where all that woo It does resist, and turns them virtuous too; Therefore deer friend, by this, loves masculine kiss, By all our mutual engagements passed, By all the Hope's of amity to come, Be you the settler of my jealous thoughts, And make me kill my found suspect of her, By assurance that she is loyal, otherwise That she is false, and then, as she's passed cure, My soul shall ever after be passed care. That you are fittest for this enterprise You must needs understand, since prove she true (In this your trial) you my dearest friend, (Whom only, rather than the World beside I would have satisfied of her virtue) shall be, And best conceal my folly, prove she weak, T'is better you should know't than any man, Who can reform her, and do me no wrong, Chemical metals, and bright gold it self By sighed are not distinguished, but by'th test, Thought makes good wives, but trial makes the best: To the unskilful owners eyes, alike The Bristol sparkles as the Diamond, But by a Lapidary the truth is found, Come you shall not deny me. You must do it. Plague a your carriage, why he kissed your hand, Look't babies in your eyes, and wink't and pink't, You thought I had esteemed him, 'Sblood you whore, Do not I know, that you do know you lie, When didst thou hear me say and mean one thing? O I could kick you now, and tear your face And eat thy Breasts Like udders. Fie, no, no, Madame & sweetest wife farewell, God bless us, Make much of master Subtle here my friend Till my return, which may be ee'n as't happens, According as my business hath success. Pish friend, there is no woman in the world Can hold out in the end, If youth, shape, wit, Met in one subject, do assault her aptly, For failing once, you must not faint but try Another way, the path of women's minds Are crooked, and diverse, they have byways To lead you to the Palace of their pleasures, And you must woo discreetly; first observe The disposition of her you attempt, If she be sprightly, and heroical, Possess her that you are valiant, and have spirit, Talk nothing but of beating every man That is your hindrance, though you do not do it, Or dare not, t'is no matter. Be she free And of a liberal soul, give bounteously To all the servants, let your angels fly About the room, although you borrowed they. If she be witty, so must your discourse Get with , what shift so'ere you make for it, Thought cost you all your land, and then a song Or two is not amiss, although you buy they, There's many in the Town will furnish you. All this I have done. I her now, as bore, that should I die, Her foe tune (o my conscience) would be To marry some Tobacco-man, she has nothing But old black-work wastco e, which would serve Exceeding well to it i'th shop and light Pipes for the lousy Footmen (and sweet friend) First here's a jewel to present her, then Here is a So net writ against my self, Which as thine own thou shalt accost her with, Farew ll and happy success attend thee. I would be hanged even at the chamber door Where I attempted, but i'll lay her flat. O friend it would do me good at the heart To have her over come, she do's so brag And stand upon her chastity forsooth. Is the deed done indeed? come, come, you jest, Has my wife yielded? is vptailes her song? Faith come, in prose, how God you to the mat first, would. Pish, you are so bashful now. Very good, on sir. Good Sir. Hum, very good. A pre j conceit. Did you call me Rascoll so often are you sure. Here then ends all strife Thus false friends are made true, by a true wife. Did you mark how she eyed the Physician? Not we Sir. Then all are friends, and Lady, wife, I crown Thy virtues with this wreathe, that 'tmay be said, There's a good wife. Z'oones, you are a whore, though I entreat him fair Before his face, in compliment, or so, I not esteem him truly as this rush, Ther's no such thing as friendship in the world, And he that can not swear, dissemble, lie, Wants knowledge how to live, and let him die. You know ther's company in the house, sweet friend What have you writ your letter? It cannot be: had you a wife, and I were in your case. I that was very good, what said she to you then sir? It very well, but you did lie. On I pray. Then came the hottest service. Forward with your tale sir. Which is as much to say: I am a Cuckold, in all Lan guages, but sure 'tis not so, It is impossible my wife should yield. Good faith Sir but he will. I do suspect some kna very in this. Here will I hide my self, when thought as gone, If they do ought unfitting I will call Witness, and straight way sue a divorce. Which now is done already Madame wife, Upon my knees, with weeping eyes, heaved hands, I ask thy pardon, o sweet virtuous creature, I prithee break my head. A little louder pray. This is called marriage, stop your mouth you whore. Nay never blame my Lord Master Well-tried, for I know a great many will sown at the sighed of a shoulder of mutton or a quarter of Lamb, my Lord may be excused then, for a naked sword.