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Full speech
O sir! hold. Kill him. I know, you do not think I wish you dead For all the benefit: beside, your spirit So opposite to counsel, to avert Your resolution, that I save my breath, Which would be lost in vain, to expire and spend Upon your foe, if you fallen under him. He has the advantage of you being a Lord, For should you kill him, you are sure to die, And by some Lawyer with a golden tongue, That cries for right, ten angels on his side; Your daring meet him, called presumption: But kill he you, he, and his noble friends Have such a golden snaffle for the jaws Of man, devouring Pithagorean Law, Thei'le rein her stubborn chaps, e'ne to her tail? And though she have iron eeth to meaner men, So master her, that who displeased her most, She shall lie under Like a tired jade, For small boats on rough seas are quickly lost, But ships ride safe, and cut what by they list. O noble Lady. O ancient truth to be denied of no man, And Eel by'th tail's held surer than a woman. HEalth and all joy unto this fair assembly, My brother, who last tide is gone for France, A branch of willow feathering his hat, Bade me salute you Lady, and present you With this same letter written in his blood, He prays no man, for his sake evermore To credit woman, nor no Lady ever To believe man, so either sex shall rest V niur'd by the other, this is all, and this I have delivered. Yes, that I have, the fool, as some Lords do. They are both ready for you. A most excellent spouse. Yes marry have I Sir. Will you not strike him now? Nothing or very little. No breaking open doors, he that stirs first I'll pop a leaden pill into his guts. Shall purge him quite away, no hast good friends, When they have done (whats fit) you shall not need To break the door, thei'l open it them selves. Ahlas poor Lady, sayeth I pity her, And, but to be i'th same state, could forgo Any thing I possess, to ease her woe. Let me speak for the Boy.
Plot summary
Plot — Amends for Ladies
Three ladies debate the relative happiness of maids, wives, and widows. The maid, Lady Honour, is courted by Ingen, but she disdains him and he speaks ill of some women. He sends her word that he has married,and she seeks revenge. The wife, Lady Perfect, has her chastitytested by her jealous husband, Sir John Loveall, who engages his friend Subtle to seduce her; Subtle secretly hopes to succeed, but Lady Perfect is determined to uphold the honour of her sex by remaining chaste. The widow, Lady Bright, accepts a waiting-gentlewoman preferred by Lord Fee-Simple; but the servant is really his rival in love, Bold, in disguise. Lady Honour visits Ingen disguised as an Irish footboy with a message, meets his 'wife', who is really his brother Frank in disguise, and is accepted into his service. Her brother, Lord Proudly, comes looking for her at Ingen's house, and Frank's true identity is revealed; but Ingen challenges Proudly to a duel the following morning. This leaves Lady Honour in a quandary whether she should support her brother or her lover. Proudly plans to marry Lady Honour to the Count, Lord Fee-Simple's father. Hearing that in consequence he is likely to be disinherited, Fee-Simple wants to be able to quarrel, and so needs a cure for his longstanding phobia of drawn swords. Well tried introduces him to the swaggerers ofTurnbull Street and they get into a drunken brawl. Meanwhile, Bold undresses Lady Bright and is asked to sleep with her; but ·when his true gender is discovered he is chased out of the house at sword-point and sent home in his underwear. He meets Subtle, serenading Lady Perfect, and claims to have lost his clothes gambling, but Subtle suspects him of sleeping with Lady Perfect. Lady Honour persuades Seldom to have her brother arrested for debt before the duel. Proudly gets free, however, and stabs Ingen's 'boy', who tries to stop the duel by revealing that she is really Lady Honour. Ingen fights on to save her from the unwanted marriage that Proudly has in mind, so she renounces his love. Subtle fails to seduce Lady Perfect, and learns the truth about her supposed liaison with Bold; both he and her husband ask her pardon. Lady Honour puts off her marriage to the Count by feigning illness. The doctor who attends her is really Ingen in disguise, and the parson who comes with him marries them on her sick-bed. Bold invites Lady Bright to his wedding, but the ·bride' is really Lord Fee-Simple in disguise, and Lady Bright is tricked into…